Tinker, Taylor, Photoshopper, spry

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Eric got one honey of a testosterone rush, and Sheila wants to match Hope and Finn, but who cares? Taylor's coming back to B&B! With a new face, but still. Weigh the "Tay" with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you fake a romance to plant the seeds for another romance? Did you get a different kind of bone transplant? Did you step into a role that was Taylor-ed for you? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham-Finnegan-Hamilton clan this week!

Oh, are there things happening on B&B right now, Scoopers? Sheila's latest scheme and the return of Eric's mojo via Delicious Donna barely registered, because all week, I've been thinking about Krista Allen taking over the role of Taylor from Hunter Tylo. And, more specifically, what that's going to mean for Taylor, who has a lot of loose ends to tie up. But I guess we should talk about the other stuff, too. Ready? Let's Scoop about it!

IMAGE MANIPULATION

So, Sheila sat in her former workplace -- or is it current? We still haven't been told -- and made out with Deacon (lucky her) as a way to set up the ruse that she and Deacon were in love. At least Sheila laid out a backstory that she had gotten to know Deacon by writing to him in prison; hey, Hope was doing the same thing. But how come nobody's asking how Sheila happened to choose Deacon to make contact with?

Even though that in-prison contact never happened, this is kind of up there with Deacon questioning how Sheila just happens to be the birth mother of Steffy's husband. When did Sheila show up? At Finn's wedding to Steffy. Could it still be that Sheila picked Finn simply so she could try to wedge her way back into the Forrester family? Because I'm still not sold that Sheila is actually Finn's mama.

Yes, I know -- Jack acknowledged that he and Sheila had an affair, which resulted in pregnancy. Whatever happened to that secret, anyway? Sheila threatened to expose Jack to Li and Finn if he didn't help her see Hayes, and Jack hasn't had another scene since. I'm just saying that, confirmed affair or not, Finn isn't necessarily Sheila's son. It's not like she doesn't have switching babies at the top of her résumé!

Another question is, why are Finn and Hope suddenly spending so much time together? They went to Il Giardino to begin with "for a bite." They're out of nowhere cozy enough that they're grabbing lunch together? At least when Hope showed back up at the cliff house, it was at Finn's invitation, to talk about their parents' apparent relationship. Both Hope and Finn questioned the veracity of Sheila's claim.

Until Finn didn't! He eventually came to the conclusion that Sheila and Deacon were legit. I think Finn better have his fellow doctors X-ray his skull, because his brain ain't in there. Finn's become super gullible since Sheila arrived, and it's not his best look. Thankfully, Hope and Finn decided their spouses needed to be told -- and when Steffy and Liam came home together from wherever, did they get an earful.

By the way -- diggin' Liam's new buzz cut! But when he and Steffy heard the buzz about Deacon and Sheila, they were angry as buzzing hornets. Steam was not about Sheacon, and they implored Finn and Hope not to believe the ex-cons. But they weren't not believing it. Well, that's not going to bode well for Hope's marriage, or Finn's, but it sure just about got Sheila in her sweet spot.

After much bantering about Deacon's negativity and calling him a loser for not going along with her plan, Sheila finally revealed exactly what that plan was. "Imagine if they were involved," Sheila said dreamily. Oh, no! Are any of you also seeing this Hope/Finn matchmaking as ending with Liam and Steffy shagging again? I really don't need another Leffy/Lope go-round, much less with Sheila spinning the wheel.

By getting rid of Liam and Steffy, Sheila reasoned, Hope and Finn would be free to grant Sheila and Deacon all the access to them, and Beth and Hayes, that Sheacon wanted. I admit, there's a certain twisted logic to that. But by putting Hope and Finn together as a couple on top of it? Deacon really looked spooked and called Sheila certifiable. I like that he isn't just going for Sheila's machinations outright.

But, yeah, it's like Sheila trying to replace Rick's wife Amber, with her daughter Erica. Rollin' like 2002! Sheila worked to dislodge Deacon's dubiousness by saying that Hope was the only family that Deacon had. What about "Little D"? Deacon only battled with Amber and the Forresters over him for how long? That kid was in the double digits and in boarding school in 2010. He's gotta be 30 via SORAS already! Where is he, anyway?

Sheila showed Deacon a Photoshopped image she'd culled together of her, Deacon, Finn, Hope, Beth, and Hayes. Where did she get all these separate images of people she can't Google? I've heard of vision boards, but this is something else altogether. At least now we know what Sheila's endgame is with this. But Jack and Sheila's affair needs to come out, and I need Lauren to know Sheila's alive. Is that too much to ask?

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED

Barring the improbability that Donna would keep bottles of honey in her desk drawer -- and her purse! -- how is it that the married Eric would lick the sweet goo off of any other woman's finger? And I maintain that it's just pathetic that Donna would be pining for any man for eleven years in real time, let alone soap time. I've been watching the 1987 episodes on YouTube, and it doesn't seem to be in Donna's nature.

Anyway, after Eric got through using Donna's finger as a popsicle, he hugged her -- and what happened after that was sponsored by the letter E! Yep, Eric got a rise in his Levi's for the first time in forever -- and left poor Donna in the dust so he could run home to Quinn and use his laser pointer on her again! This just made Donna look even more pathetic. I've never really felt sorry for her before, but I do now!

Inserting Donna into Eric's ED story just brings up a huge question mark: when they were first getting together, Eric needed Viagra so he could get busy with Donna. Why no reference to that now? And how is it that today, Eric can pitch a tent with Donna unassisted? I'm glad the old boy has got the old boy going again, but we are missing so many beats with this.

It's rare enough that any soap has a geriatric storyline (although As the World Turns was ace at it), but we had a rare chance to empathize with the struggles of older couples and educate the audience. To teach viewers about the medical possibilities and loving workarounds to just one form of intercourse. Instead, we've got Eric pimping out one wife, only to get a fatty from a former one. Dropped balls, indeed.

Pam and Charlie made a rare appearance to, er, firm up Eric's story, making me wonder why none of their grievances about Quinn was the fact that she torpedoed their wedding plans three years ago! Pharlie is the longest-enduring couple on the show, having gotten together in 2013. They deserve so much better. Can Pam finally have a husband? The poor kid's only waited 70-something years.

At any rate, Pam did ask an operative question: "Do we really know if Eric's feelings [toward Quinn] have changed?" Building on that, busybody Brooke later pondered if Eric's intimacy issue with Quinn had an emotional cause. And this is certainly a diagnosis that hasn't, um, come up through all this. Credence seemed to be lent to the idea when Eric's engine conked out before he could park in Quinn's driveway.

The next day, Eric went back to the office, skipped the finger-licking-good stuff and just hugged Donna, which was enough to get his crotch rocket ready to blast off a second time! Throwing any work aside, he went home to Quinn for a little bow-chicka-wow-wow, but it turned into more bow-chicka-not-now. In fact, when Eric hugged Quinn, the look on his face said he'd put two and two together, and it didn't equal Quinn.

I'm all for some Logan sisters, as they go back to the show's very first episodes, but things got a little ridiculous. Already knowing that Donna had spilled her guts to Eric about her persistent feelings for him, Brooke and Katie wanted more dish out of Donna, and boy, did they eventually get it! Is it necessary for these women to be standing around giggling about Eric getting an erection? Are we in sixth grade?

Also, Donna seemed to be the only one who realized it could cause Eric even more humiliation, but that didn't stop Brooke from running over and congratulating Eric on his Donna-induced ding-dong. "Why does Brooke have to get involved in everything?" Donna lamented. Because Brooke learned it from Stephanie. And when Brooke suggested that Eric's love machine turned over because of Donna, Quinn overheard!

LITTLE BIT O' THIS, LITTLE BIT O' THAT

We took time out of our broadcast day to show Thomas and Zende arguing over a design, and, when Thomas' new roommate (and Zende's girlfriend) Paris showed up, Zende went all alpha male and damn near urinated on Paris to mark his territory! He sure made a show of being Paris' boyfriend so Thomas could make more disapproving faces on the sidelines. One paragraph is all I'm willing to give that non-development.

Same for Katie, who specifically met up with Carter to tell him that Eric got a woody with Donna, which, to Katie's way of thinking, meant Quinn would be free for Carter! But Carter was all, "Quinn who?" When Katie said she cared about him, Carter latched onto it and even took her hand as they talked about being lifetime members of the Lonely Hearts Club. If rebounding ever becomes an Olympic sport, Carter is a shoo-in!

HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK...

The unfortunate Shauna came by the Forrester mansion for a third day of ear-bending from Quinn. But this time, Quinn was pissed that Donna was first in the game of Pole Position! And Quinn ran right to the office and menaced Donna so much, I was expecting a bear to walk through the door any minute. Donna did the lamest job of stating her case that I've ever seen.

Seriously! Donna went up against Stephanie. And Pam! She should be expert at turning her honey to venom, but she totally let Quinn run roughshod over her. Maybe Donna was remembering when Quinn previously threatened her in regard to Eric back in 2013, long before Quinn and Eric were even a thing. Quinn jammed a chair against Donna's legs and demanded that Donna never see Eric again!

Yeah, Quinn, that might be a little difficult, considering both Eric and Donna work in the same place. Donna must be having one hell of a déjà vu, given how long Stephanie and Pam made the same demand of Donna. Personally, I'd like to see Donna stick it to Quinn somehow! Hell, at this point, Pam would be willing to team up with Donna against Quinn! Wouldn't that be fun!

THE OLD TAYLOR CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

And so, the big news: Krista Allen, most famous in the soap world for taking over the role of DAYS' Billie in 1996, will be stepping into Taylor's fashionable shoes starting December 10. Of course, after Hunter Tylo was in that role for the better part of 29 years, those shoes are going to be hella big to fill. Not that that wasn't the case when Thorsten Kaye took over from Ronn Moss as Ridge, and we got used to that.

I should mention, this won't be the first time someone else has played Taylor in the history of the show. Sherilyn Wolter stepped in briefly in 1990 (check out the video; Ronn Moss even had a rare beard, foreshadowing Thorsten Kaye's stubble by over two decades!). I don't generally have a problem with recasts. I'm just of two minds about a nuTaylor because of the debris our original Taylor has left behind in recent years.

To be fair to "Doc," she's been through more than her fair share, and that's just physically. She survived an earthquake, after which she nearly froze to death. She was assaulted by muggers so severely, it put her in a coma. She set herself on fire. She nearly died from tuberculosis. And she infamously got a bullet through the heart courtesy of Sheila, after which she came back from the dead a second time.

It will pain the Taylor fans to hear me say it again, but Taylor was never right after her return in 2005. She got darker and did sketchy things, like sleeping with Brooke's father and son. (Yeah, I know, Brooke did that ish, too; stay with me.) Taylor became an alcoholic and covered up the fact that she killed Darla with her car. And she relentlessly blamed Brooke for every problem she had, to the point of paranoia.

Flash-forward to 2018, and the shrink who was once the voice of common sense in a family full of dysfunction grabbed a gun and shot Bill in the back because, on Ridge's word alone, Taylor thought Bill had "violated" Steffy. The Taylor we knew would have at least heard Steffy's side of it first -- and certainly would never have used anyone for target practice.

When we last left Taylor, she was still extremely unstable, and, I would suspect out of that instability, forked out $250,000 for a baby from Reece, whom she hardly knew, so Steffy could have another daughter. Oh, and Taylor made a lot of noise about the idea that Thomas should be with Hope, which was already a sign of missing a few marbles, since Thomas and Hope were/are stepsiblings and grew up together. Eww.

This is the history that Krista Allen will inherit as she newly inhabits the role of Taylor, and wow. The way I see it, we can only go two ways with this. Either Taylor got some kind of help while she was away doing missionary work or whatever, or she'll come back with as many screws loose as she had when she left. Admittedly, our soap really doesn't need another crazy person, and Taylor wasn't crazy to start with.

A recast may be just what we need to redeem Taylor somehow and restore her to sanity, not that Hunter Tylo couldn't have played that with equal aplomb. Maybe now we'll finally get an explanation of why Taylor lost it, and I hold to my theory that Taylor suffered permanent brain damage after being shot in the heart. Think of how much blood she lost, and then she "died" before Omar and his people got to her.

Taylor's heart had to have stopped for her to be declared dead; even if that were for just a few moments, the lack of oxygen to her brain would cause damage, for sure. That's all B&B would have to say to explain her un-Taylor-like behavior. I hope they don't just have Taylor show up one day without some kind of acknowledgement of her fall from mental grace. Likewise, I hope Taylor is sane again and stays that way.

One thing I definitely don't want to see is yet another Bridge/Tridge scuffle. Like Donna, Taylor has sacrificed her self-worth for too long, pining over Ridge, who was an expert at waffling before King Waffler Liam was even born. Taylor deserves her own man who isn't going to bounce back to someone else when the going gets rough. Hey, at the rate Carter's going, he'll be past Katie already by the time nuTaylor shows up!

How do you feel about Krista Allen replacing Hunter Tylo, and what do you think Taylor's story should be when she returns? Let us know in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could be in a future column! Like these!

"Deacon is a Boy Scout compared to Liam's dad, Bill Spencer. So Liam needs to shut up and sit down." -- "bikette"

"I think Katie needs to move on from Bill permanently. Bill has crossed the line too many times with Katie's sister Brooke...a Carter and Katie pairing would be a lot better. Leave Bill single, he could have better storylines than just going back and forth with Katie and Brooke." -- "WAGreenEyes

"Yes, Bill should give up on begging to Katie. He's flogging a dead horse. She doesn't trust him, she doesn't want him. They have a good co-parenting thing going on, and that's too precious to jeopardize.

I think a Deakie pairing would work well now. Time hasn't wearied Deacon Sharpe. And a reformed Deacon could be just the ticket for Katie.." -- Eva

To further get you ready for Taylor's change of face, peep B&B's 5 Most Taylor-Made Moments -- see if you agree or disagree with them. In the meantime, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And for soap's sake, get vaccinated! Because protecting yourselves and others from a virus and its variants is always beautiful.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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