Wakey wakey

For the Week of July 11, 2022
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Eric and Carter woke up to their respective loves, Quinn and Donna, leaving Paris cold enough to need a blanket. And Ridge finally woke up to destiny...again. But Finn proved the adage "like mother, like son" by coming back from the dead...again! Rise and shine with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you decide it was time to turn over your waffles? Did you and your boo say you were all about love, but all you did was have sex? Was the reality of waking up worse than your worst nightmare? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Walton-Buckingham-Finnegan clan this week!

Don't hit that snooze button, Scoopers! I think other things happened on B&B, like Carter and Quinn wearing down their bedsheets and Ridge going back to Brooke. But who can think about that when Finn flatlined, resurrected, and woke up to his crazy mama, all in the span of a few episodes? Finn realizing he was trapped was right out of Misery, which rather inspired Sheila in the first place. Let's Scoop about it!

WAKE-UP CALL

There's nothin' that can wake you up more than a good old-fashioned slap in the face! That's what Carter got from Grace when he walked into whatever lounge Il Giardino seems to have (why isn't Deacon allowed to crash there?), trying to explain his decision to jilt Paris. I've seen a lot of chatter online about this storyline, but honestly, I really couldn't care less about it.

For as socially conscious and aware as Paris is supposed to be, she sure put the blinders on when it came to Carter. Any high schooler could have told her that if a guy dumps you but suddenly wants to get married without even the benefit of another date, something is seriously wrong. I'm afraid to say, Paris got what she deserved. At least Grace finally acted like a mother with her, for a moment or two, anyway.

On the heels of Paris admitting that she had been foolish (score one for Paris), Grace offered this tidbit of maternal advice: "Putting your faith in another person that way, that's foolish." Huh? Faith in Carter, maybe. But overall? Grace sounded like she was speaking from her experience with Reese, which I wish the show would explore. Not that the show is big on exploring deep connections like they used to.

Maybe now, with Carter out of Paris' life, we can give Grace something -- anything -- else to do. She's more one-dimensional than a page on a Forrester sketchpad. But Grace sure does light up when Zende enters a room, doesn't she? Paris' eyes exhibited a too-soon twinkle toward her ex-boyfriend as it was, though I think Grace has the hots for Zende herself. Will Paris reunite with him only to have to compete with her mom for him?

Meanwhile, Carter took the recently freed Quinn back to his loft, where they exchanged a series of "Can you believe"s before hitting the sheets. The following day, Quarter was still at it, eschewing a barbecue to light each other on fire. In their afterglow, they talked a lot about their love and friendship, but guys...I just don't see it. They've really only ever been about sex.

This pair has never even been out on a date. Nor have they had to face a single challenge together as a couple -- and no, Quinn still being married and Carter's pivot to Paris don't count. It remains to be seen whether Quarter actually has any staying power. I wonder, because Quinn is already grousing about how not thrilled she is with Eric and Donna. I thought Quinn let Eric go amicably? That didn't last long, did it.

I admit it was amusing when Carter jokingly called Quinn "honey," and Quinn told him never to call her that, owing to Donna's penchant for the sticky stuff. But ya know, it's kind of a shame: Eric and Quinn had the longest-running marriage on B&B, having tied the knot nearly six years ago, on September 26, 2016. The next couple down is Brooke and Ridge, and they've spent almost as much of their four-year union apart as together.

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO

Ridge swung by the cliff house to check on Taylor, and it hit me that that's pretty much all he does -- check on Taylor and Brooke. You'll see I wasn't far off in a minute, but first, Tridge began discussing Steffy and decided to video chat with her. That was a nice touch, having Jacqueline Macinnes Wood pre-tape some stuff before her maternity leave to hold fans over in her absence.

There wasn't much to it, except for Steffy's understandable grief over Finn, of course. After clicking off, Ridge and Taylor talked some more about Sheila and how Deputy Chief Baker was still coming up one hot dog short in being unable to find Miss Carter. Baker's never been able to apprehend Sheila on his own! She broke out of jail in 1998 before disappearing with Mary, and in 2002, Eric had to punch Sheila out so Baker could take her away.

Baker's incompetence aside, Taylor recognized her own in remarking that her intuition should have been more spot-on about Sheila. Taylor felt that Sheila had played her for a fool. I don't know if that's actually true. While Taylor clearly didn't see through all of Sheila's Brooke-bashing, the brief friendship following their hospital rooftop experience did seem genuine, at least to me.

"I wish I never would have been on the rooftop that day," Taylor decided. Hoo, that's cold! But not as cold as Taylor got when Ridge announced that he needed to -- wait for it -- check on Brooke. "Of course, of course," Taylor replied in a huff. Methinks Sheila wasn't the only person that Taylor's been in denial about, though perhaps Taylor's frothy reaction was an indicator of at least some self-awareness.

Over at the Logan mansion, Brooke sat rubbing her foot for some unknown reason, when suddenly, the power went out. Her front door opened, and -- surprise! -- it was Ridge. Didn't we already do this psych-out with Bridge a month or two ago? Anyway, it turned out that Brooke had hurt herself falling up the stairs, a good way to incorporate Katherine Kelly Lang breaking her ankle back in May.

I'm not sure what the purpose of popping Brooke's electricity was. Outside of creating an inadvertent romantic setting when Ridge lit up candles, it didn't play a part in anything. Question: why did both Brooke and Taylor have roaring fires in their fireplaces in L.A. in the middle of July? Believe me, if you wanna roast marshmallows there during the summer, all you gotta do is hold one over the sidewalk.

Anyway, Ridge's eyes got all googly, and he asked Brooke, "What would you say if I told you I want to come home?" Had I been Brooke, I would have said, "that's the exact same s**t you said to Taylor!" But Brooke being Brooke, she took her destiny back with no questions asked, even though Ridge still considered Brooke's buzzed buss with Deacon "a betrayal."

Well, good; at least that's over with. I've pretty much considered Bridge endgame for a while now, and this mess with Ridge needing "time" to "decide" has just been silly. I agree with many of you out there that it's not really Brooke or Taylor causing the problems; it's Ridge, the show's OG waffler, who has pitted Taylor and Brooke against each other for 32 years and rarely taken responsibility for his fickleness.

Indeed, when Ridge visited Taylor and blithely blurted out, "I've moved back in with Brooke," Taylor scratched her head and said, "When did this happen?" You'd have thought Ridge would have told Taylor he had chosen Brooke first. It just seemed callous. Taylor, predictably, was not happy, and scoffed, "Well, that's a good reason to give a marriage another go," when Ridge explained how Brooke's broken ankle had influenced his decision.

Gotta backtrack here. How did Brooke know she had broken her ankle? When Ridge arrived, she had just tripped, and the only treatment we saw was the ice Ridge brought to her. Brooke seemed to decline going to a doctor, yet deemed her ankle broken with no examination. And to Taylor's point, yeah, it was kind of dumb that Ridge decided Brooke needed him because she was going around on one foot.

Taylor exclaimed that she had been trying to keep Ridge's heart safe from Brooke, who would surely hurt Ridge again. (Oh, we dragged out that overplayed card, did we?) Brooke would turn to another man the moment there was trouble. Oh, you mean the way Ridge did, running to Taylor and declaring he wanted to come home to her the second Brooke rightly broke up Ridge's fisticuffs with Deacon? You know -- that?

The one thing I'll give Taylor is that she admitted she "could not seem to fall out of love with [Ridge], no matter what." Amen. It's a diagnoseable condition with Taylor; whether moving on with Thorne, Whip, Eric, or Nick, Taylor has never been able to forget Ridge romantically. Not that Brooke has, either, but it's more acute with Taylor. She really deserves more than perpetually pining for Ridge.

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP

Although, that perpetually pining stuff worked out pretty well for Donna, didn't it? Despite having split from Eric in 20-freaking-10, Donna continually built up biceps, carrying her torch for him. But she finally put the torch down to help Eric throw an out-of-nowhere party to celebrate their reunion and Donna's apparent return to Forrester. Hey, it got Liam's shirt off; I'm not complaining.

It just seemed like an awkward affair, especially for poor Paris, who was glaringly out of place. Amazingly, we had Zende notice this and ask Paris how she was holding up. After all, "you have every right to still be upset" about Carter ditching her at the altar. Still? That only happened the day before, in soap time! But don't worry -- Paris would one day be blissfully married to an amazing guy, hint hint.

I would much rather our Bridget get some more appearances and an actual storyline than watch Paris pinball between men again. Seriously! Bridget was relegated to a phone call with Brooke during the party. Okay, so Budge got to get skeeved out by catching her dad in bed with her aunt. (Or was she? After all, Bridget once had a thing for her not-father/not-brother, Ridge.) When are we going to see Bridget in a scene with Deacon? It's not that hard, people. Come on, already.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A MORNING AFTER

Speaking of MIA characters, who should suddenly show up this week but Jack Finnegan! Well! He's only been mysteriously absent since Finn "died," hasn't he? But Daddy Jack not having his mustache wasn't the only reason the guy lost his mojo. Mr. Finnegan was not doing well. Li had completely cut him out of her life, and Jack burst into tears when talking about how much he missed Finn.

Damn, but Ted King nailed it in just that brief bit! Though considering both Jack and Li arrived for a visit a year ago, it's odd that they're still in town. Doesn't Jack have a job somewhere? And was it just me, or did y'all see a little vibe there between Jack and Taylor? How weird would that be for Taylor, getting with a guy who has both her father's name and the name of the son born from Brooke's egg, whom no one ever talks about.

Jack wanted to grieve with Li. Of course, little did he know, he'd have more reason to grieve if he'd known what fate had befallen his estranged wife. Or would he? See, we've got to talk about Li. First of all, how could Li's SUV catch fire from being rammed once? Then, the fire was only in the back, even as Li crashed into...what body of water was that supposed to be?

Because I guaran-damn-tee you there's no river or lake like that running along any freeway in Los Angeles. The scuttlebutt, according to Mike, is that there had been no news about Li's supposedly fatal accident. Really? Sheila and Li were on a busy freeway in the middle of a heavily populated area. Are you going to tell me no one witnessed Sheila rear-ending Li? No one pulled over to help when they saw a car on fire? Dude, L.A. is the lookie-loo capital of the world! Trust me.

There were too many holes in that plot twist, and my money says Li is alive and will turn up when Sheila least expects it. Also, it was Mike's car that Sheila borrowed -- surely there's a big dent from Sheila hitting another vehicle at top speed? So why did Sheila have to tell Mike she ran Li off the road? Did Mike not wonder why his ride was creamed?

FIT TO WAKE THE DEAD

All the more reason you'd think Mike would have second thoughts about Sheila beseeching him, "I need your help, Mike." (For those of you wondering who the hell this Mike guy is, he was Sheila's henchman from 1993 to 1998; see this previous column of mine for the full 4-1-1 on Mike Guthrie.) That's all Sheila ever does -- need Mike. I feel sorry for the guy. Except for a few brief moments, Mike has only ever been a means to an end for Sheila.

Now Sheila wanted Mike to help her keep Finn alive. "You're the nurse!" Mike gulped. Ah, but the prison where Mike worked had an infirmary, from which Mike could boost the supplies Sheila needed. Wait -- so Mike still has a job? I thought, when he broke Sheila out of jail, off-screen, that he would have gone AWOL with her. With all the cameras around a prison, how could Mike possibly avoid getting caught aiding and abetting?

Upon being told of Sheila's dispatching of Li, Mike groaned, "I didn't break you out of jail for you to go on a crime spree." Mike seemed to have the more sense of the two. He didn't think Sheila had really changed much, despite her insistence, and he also didn't think that Finn looked too good. What was the giveaway, the yellow-green schmutz at the corners of Finn's closed mouth?

Plus, for being seasoned criminals, neither Sheila nor Mike showed much restraint about discussing Sheila's takedowns of Finn, Steffy, and Li in front of Finn. Yeah, Finn was out like a light. But how often have we been told about how comatose people can often hear what goes on around them? Before we could linger on that for long, Finn went into convulsions and flatlined! "Oh, my God, I killed him again!" Sheila shrieked.

That was funny, and it certainly fulfilled the "bold" part of the show's title. But then Sheila, having failed at resuscitating Finn with CPR, reached for the defibrillator that Li had conveniently stocked Finn's mock hospital room with! What was that there for? Did Li think that Finn's heart might stop because it already had once? Sheila prepped the paddles as Mike yelled, "Have you ever used that before?"

Right? Mike freaked, feeling that Sheila's experience was "based on some TV show you watched." But Sheila shut him down and had Mike cut Finn's T-shirt open. Any excuse to show Tanner Novlan's chest! Sheila kept shocking the hell out of said chest as Finn continued to lay clinically dead. Even in real time, Finn had no heartbeat for an awfully long time. Even Mike finally told Sheila she had to let it go.

Several seconds after Sheila performed her last "Clear!," Finn's monitor suddenly started beeping! I won't say none of this wasn't suspenseful, because it was, but Dr. Pepper could have written something more medically sound. And what exactly is wrong with Finn in the first place? Sheila said he had injured his lumbar spine, but that doesn't explain why Finn's heart gave out.

Proving that Sheila doesn't give a rat's ass for Mike beyond what he can do for her in the moment, Sheila chewed Mike a new one for raising the reality of what would happen when Finn awoke and started asking questions. Finn had just barely come back to life, and "you're already trying to take him away from me!" No wonder Mike bolted so fast when Finn started to wake up and Sheila said Finn couldn't see Mike.

Is Finn's return to the land of the living supposed to be the "cosmic connection" the episode description said that Steffy had with Finn? Because all we saw Steffy do was look off in the other direction quizzically. My connection to my Wi-Fi is more cosmic than that. At any rate, Finn's vision might have been blurry, but his smarts were already on full display, because he groaned his displeasure the second Sheila touched his forehead.

Sheila must have had Mike's warning on her mind, because the second Finn croaked out Steffy's name, Sheila got diarrhea of the mouth and wouldn't stop talking about how miraculous it was that Finn had come back to her, yada-yada-yada. And Finn. Looked. Pissed! He had enough presence of mind, as a doctor himself, that he should be at a hospital, but Sheila deflected every time he mentioned the word.

Finally, Sheila told Finn that he was bedridden because he had been shot in a horrible accident -- one that she was sorry for. Inexplicably, she went on to ask him if he remembered what had happened that night. Damage control, maybe? But Sheila wasn't as lucky as she was when Steffy woke up thinking Liam was her "sweet husband." "It was you...my mother!" Finn managed to grunt.

Finn flashed back to jumping in front of the bullet not meant for him and realized that his mother had intended to shoot his wife. As one does in families. Sheila did what she did a lot this week -- make excuses for her actions. "If only Li hadn't threatened to rat me out," "If only Steffy had accepted me." Finn's mumbling became crystal clear speech as he demanded to know, "Did you hurt my wife?"

Sheila assured Finn that both Steffy and Hayes, the latter of whom Finn shed tears for, were all right. But there was one more thing that Finn needed to know: everyone thought he was dead! Well, hey, that fits, right? It's in Finn's lineage; Sheila was presumed dead in a Genoa City fire in 1992 that kicked off her L.A. run, and Sheila-with-Phyllis'-face was gunned down in 2007! Finn's just following in his mama's footsteps!

Finn's repeated calls to be taken to the hospital were met with Sheila raging that "those doctors left you for dead! Your mother saved your life." That's not inaccurate, even if now both Finn's mothers have taken a turn at that. Finn wanted to know where Li was (so do we), because "she's a doctor." But Sheila cast herself as the top mom and promised she would take care of Finn.

When Finn started to babble about Steffy again, Sheila exploded. "Damn it, Finn, just do what Mommy says!" I loved that so much, I filmed it on my phone. It reminded me of when Sheila had a brief moment alone with chocolate-covered toddler Rick in 1993; as he nearly touched her, she smiled and said, "You know what happens to nasty little boys who make Aunt Sheila mad." I still say that! Gold!

As angrily as Finn could, he told Sheila that he wanted to see Steffy NOW, but Sheila barked, "No! NOT now!" Finn would be back with Steffy soon enough, Sheila reasoned, but for the moment, he was with her. We got to hear Finn's inner dialogue as he thought, "I'm stuck in here with a crazy woman." Finn promised Steffy that he would find a way out of his clinic of incarceration and return to her!

Ooh, do I sense a battle of wits coming between Finn and Sheila? I am so here for finding out how he's gonna "liberty bibberty" his way out of this one! (Sorry, Tanner, I can't help it.) And Taylor went to see Deacon to find out whether or not Sheila has contacted him! Hmm, characters who don't usually interact...could we be paving the way for some Teacon? Or is that Daylor?

Tell us your thoughts on all things B&B in the the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could end up in a future column!

Our spoilers indicate that, as summer progresses, "Thomas will find the kind of love that takes him to the next level", and "Bill will connect with someone unexpected." How hot would it be if Bill and Thomas got together! Thorne questioned Thomas' sexual orientation as far back as 20-freaking-10, and Bill would hook up with anyone who showed him the proper worship -- boy, girl, or non-binary. Y'all know you wanna see some Thill! Bomas?

It's Finn vs. Sheila, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And, no matter where you are in the world, democracy and freedom are always beautiful.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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