Say it ain't so!

For the Week of August 16, 2004
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DAYS Two Scoops: Say it ain't so!
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Hello, Olympics! And goodbye, Days of our Lives, for the next two weeks.

Hello, Olympics! And goodbye, Days of our Lives, for the next two weeks. Why NBC always chooses to pre-empt afternoon soaps for sports events is Greek to me (pun intended), since the viewership for the one at this timeslot is not necessarily the viewership timeslot preferred by the other. If I ruled NBC, this insanity would change. But I don't even rule my own house anymore, since a small black half Siamese kitten moved in and took over. The Little Princess makes the rules now, and we all must bow to her whims. Even the two dogs have given up. The kitten runs the house, and we just live to serve her.

So I'll be keeping busy during the next two weeks. So far, we've built a little indoor play system for her, and a larger, outdoor cat amusement park, on three levels, with ramps and a den. All we need to find now are some tiny velvet paintings of Elvis for the walls, or perhaps a few of those famous "dogs playing poker" pictures to liven up her living space(s). Between the decorating and the three times a day feedings, the husband and I are worn out. Maybe her Highness will let us take a vacation soon -- she needs to keep the slaves fit and happy!

And in the meantime, I'll have lots of time to ponder the latest goings-on in Salem and Pseudo Salem Island. Apparently hoping to set a new world record for the most cliff hangers was tops on the show's agenda. We have faithful Chloe trying to reach Brady before Nicole's disappearing clothing changes his affections. Unfortunately, her limo had an accident just as their phones finally connected. As the Church Lady would say -- "How convenient!."

But that's nothing compared to the horror of seeing John and Kate cozying up together, while Roman and Marlena continue to get closer. Sacrilege! So much for everlasting love. Okay, we know that Marlena and Roman are alive, and that John and Kate do not know about Pseudo Salem Island, but give me a break -- they've only been "dead" a short time. Are we really supposed to believe that John and Kate would move on romantically so quickly? Kind of puts paid to the whole "Super Couple" thing, doesn't it?

The mysterious Patrick, having found Jennifer, has taken the delirious woman into the shelter of a cave. Jen's in a daze, and thinks he's Jack, so she's all over him. First thing most women in labor do is look for some nooky, right? Yep, I'll be pondering that one for the next two weeks ...

The formerly wealthy Rex, now penniless, is overjoyed to have won a science contest with a cash prize that will tide him over for a while, and is ready to cha-cha with Mimi. But Mimi's got a little health problem she's having trouble dealing with, and even more trouble sharing with Rex. Get thee to a doctor, Mimi, and quit the hypochondriac whining. We'll all worry about you if and when the medical tests come back with a diagnosis. But not a minute before.

Apparently all it took for Shawn to make an escape move was visual proof that Belle was finally going to give up her much-valued virginity to rival Philip. Hopefully he'll soon show some of that famous Brady macho muscle, break loose from the birdcage, overpower Psycho Jan, and get back in time to prevent Belle from getting into the panty remover again. Belle was saved from certain devaluation by Mimi's sudden arrival, but Belle and Philip are roommates now, so opportunity will keep on a-knockin'. Fingers crossed that Shawn spends his next two weeks, wisely practicing his escape moves, be they Greco-Roman or Classical,

And just when we thought that Sami and Lucas were safely engaged, and on the road to marital bliss, Sami slammed the door on Lucas' eager face. Good thing she came to her senses, realizing that Lucas' special talents, which now include singing a marriage proposal, really had won her heart. Unable to find the right words, Sami and Lucas celebrated their engagement in bed. I've already got an early wedding gift ready for this couple; it's a Roget's Thesaurus. After they've had a chance to leaf through the pages, they should be masters of communication. With two weeks off, they could make great headway on the book, assuming they can stay out of bed and keep the TV on mute.

Summer's nearly over, the Olympics have begun, school will start again soon, and we've all got two weeks off from Days of our Lives before we'll have to knuckle down again to reality. Use your time wisely, grasshoppers. Two weeks from now we'll all be older, but thankfully, our favorite Salemites will be no wiser!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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