Where have I been, you ask? Well, let's put it this way - if your computer starts getting really, really hot for no apparent reason, do a complete backup, power down, and run, don't walk to the nearest computer store. Never underestimate the power of the wrath of the Computer Gods.
Anyway - this was it, the week of the big reveal as to how our Salem residents were systematically tormented, drugged, and spirited away to the island know as "Melaswen." (Side note here: apparently John and Bo spotted the island on a 400 year old map. Just how far back does this DiMera/Brady feud go, anyway?) I don't know about you, but I thought Tony's explanation of the machinations involved in the deception had holes big enough to drive a car through. Although I thoroughly enjoyed Bart's glee at being let in on the secrets of the scam, especially when he compared them to hearing Houdini's secrets! And Tony also let us know that Phase 1 was the apparent killing of the Salemites, Phase 2 was transporting them to the island and that Phase 3 was the why of the situation. So we're still in suspense. Sort of. I gave up trying to make sense of the whole mess ages ago.
Back in the real Salem, it's amazing how Shawn continued to fall over and over again for Jan's tricks, even though Jan's ability to disguise herself as either the old lady or the nun was limited to cranking out the same fake voice over and over. And after finally breaking free from her, the famous Brady temper drove him to lose control of his bike and slam into a wall, almost killing himself. Fortunately (?) he didn't die, but has only suffered that most common and transient of soap opera traumas - the convenient case of amnesia. Apparently his interesting summer with Jan has left more of an impression than his many long, soulmate years with Belle. Oh well, open up another can of soulmates...
Jen and Jack were finally reunited, and Jack met their new son. Suggestion to this couple that spent the last several weeks braving the rocky depths of the island - call that boy "Cliff"! Mimi is going around in circles, trying to decide on how to deal with her own bundle of joy. Tell Rex, Mimi! This is too big a decision to be made alone! And perennial soulmates, Bo and Hope, are having a little difficulty agreeing on how to deal with the reappearance of Billie in their jungle, while back in Salem, Kate has just been told by the ISA that Billie has died on a mission. So did Bo kiss a ghost in the jungle?
Will came back from summer camp a little older, and a lot sharper. Combining his new skills as card shark with a little parental massaging, he finally got Sami and Lucas to agree to marry, the sooner the better. Lucas even offered Sami first crack at his PDA for setting the date! Since Alison Sweeney (Sami) is pregnant in real life, and due in February 2005, I have a sneaking suspicion that Sami will discover she has a bun in the oven very soon, thus speeding up her nuptials to Lucas. I hope so, I really like this couple.
On a more personal note, it seems like I receive a lot of email from people who think that I either actually write for Days of our Lives, or have a direct line to the show. I wish I had contact with the Powers that Be, but I am but a lonely columnist pining away in the Great White North. I assure you I would pass on your ideas, comments and complaints if I could, but I really can't. What sort of complaints you ask? Here's a few I received this week:
Kareen Burgess says: "I'd like to know where we can go to offer some suggestions to the writers. I mean for goodness sakes, we watch the show so we would know best what would make us continue to watch. What do you think? " ( I think that would be great - I also think they won't bother listening to our ideas. They would not admit to not knowing where to go next with their storyline or characters.)
From Ron Reeves: " I'm an X Marine and you have this guy Philip wearing a U.S.Marine uniform and as a pfc. He doesn't deserve the red stripe down his leg, that is reserved for nco's and officers. Dress blues is the highest dress uniform in the world and is only for special events not for every day. Dress greens is ok If you want to make it right use the right uniform. I'm disabled and watch every day but most every marine would be upset. Red stripe is symbol of blood shed in famous battle. Please note the stripe"
From Amanda:" I think that someone needs to know that the Shawn ordeal is so stupid and I think they should rewrite that part of the show because I know numerous people who will quit watching the show if Jan and Shawn get together. I will stop too, this is just retarded...I have watched for 15 years but I will quit."
And lastly, didn't I get an earful for my mistype of Jennifer's savior with the plant. Of course, it was Tony, not Roman, who brought the solution forward. My mistake, apologies to all. (Hey, do you think THAT'S why the computer blew up?)
That's it for me - see you in two weeks!
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