If two weeks ago brought a little Valentine's magic to Salem, last week brought a post-Valentine's massacre. I think the only couple who fared well was Maxine and I. We snuggled on the sofa and ate Thin Mints while watching DAYS and letting out cries of, "Oh, no she didn't!" and "Snap!"
Thankfully, Marlena was on fire in full shrink mode. Maybe she can help us understand what the heck happened to our favorite (and not so favorite) couples. Let's stretch out on Doc's shrink-couch and discuss all our woes!
ABE and LEXIE
Okay, okay, I understand Lexie is disappointed in Abe. I understand that her belief in him has been shattered. I also understand that she needs time to cope. But holy cheese and crackers, girlfriend needs to unpack her suitcase and take a chill pill.
Abe is hardly like E.J., Stefano, or even Satan, but
Saint Lexie pretty much thinks they're all on the same rowing team. Abe has never brainwashed, kidnapped, or murdered anyone. He's had on some questionable ties on from time to time, but other than that, he's pretty much proven he's normally one of the good guys.
Whereas Lexie shouldn't have to pay for her sins forever, she should remember how forgiving Abe has been. Their marriage was only salvaged because of Abe's said forgiveness. I'm having a hard time believing his one lie is the straw that broke the camel's back in their marriage. Methinks that straw would have been somewhere around her kidnapping their besties' baby and affair number three, but what do I know?
JENNIFER and JACK
Well, how do you like them apples? Jack turned Jennifer down! He claims he did it because he loves her too much to repeat past mistakes. I find that admirable because, let's face it, those two have dual citizenship. They live in Salem, but spend a lot of time in Rinse and Repeat Land.
Even though I adored Dr. Dan and Jennifer, I'm fine with Jack and Jennifer, too. Their reconciliation writing has been on the wall since he fell face-first into the dedication cake. And when they're on a roll, they are great together.
But I'd like to see more of what I did last week first. Jack in "Super Dad" mode is great. It gives validity to the hard work he's doing in therapy, which I'd also like to see more of. Eventually, once that slow burn becomes a bonfire, I think the payoff will be much better for everyone involved.
ABIGAIL and AUSTIN
Burning out of control is the tale of Abigail "Crazy Abs" Deveraux! I feel bad for Austin, don't get me wrong, but this storyline has been much more fun to watch than I would have expected. And by "fun" I mean awkward and wince-worthy, but still entertaining.
For her part, Kate Mansi is doing a fantastic job! She's pretty good switching Crazy Abs from a "sweet and innocent heartbroken victim" to a saucy, lying minx batting Austin around like a kitty with a toy. I also love that she is toying with Carrie. Ms. Reed-Wannabe-Hernandez needs to be brought down a peg or two.
So, yeah, I feel for Austin, but his straight-shooting conversation with Abigail fell on deaf ears. He might be telling her their tryst was a mistake, but all she's hearing is "Where do you want to go for lunch?" Gotta love a crazy gal!
CARRIE and RAFE
I'm worried about myself because I still like these two together. You see, I don't like them individually. Yet somehow when they're together, they don't irritate me. Go figure.
However, Carrie and Rafe both need to be introduced to Mr. Reality. Thankfully, Bo arranged a meeting for Carrie, and she finally admitted that she does have feelings for Rafe. Personally, I was shocked. I hadn't suspected that. Riiight.
On the whole, I enjoyed these scenes. I loved seeing Uncle Bo try to help his niece. I can't even remember the last time Bo had a scene with someone who wasn't Hope, Roman, or John and Marlena. It was refreshing. Plus, I loved his banana peel comment. Hysterical!
BO, HOPE, JOHN, and MARLENA
Spoiler Alert: This storyline probably won't win any Golden Donuts at the end of the year. In fact, it may be my new catnap time during my five-episode DAYS-o-thons at the end of the week. Then again, Madison is still around. Ugh, I'm going to have to weigh my naptime options.
Yet in the interest of being fair, I tried looking at the glass as half full. Sadly, it only made me wonder, "Why is my glass only half full?" And then I went for a refill. But I digress.
This storyline needs to be spruced up. Here's an example of why. I don't like to wait in airports, and watching some of my favorite characters sit around one is hardly edge-of-my-seat entertainment. Granted, it was amusing to see Hope munch on candy, but I cringed a little at the contrived trip that landed her in John's arm.
Now, I've watched John and Mar Mar suck face to the point where Samantha Jones from Sex and the City would be embarrassed. Bo and Hope reaffirm their commitment to each other more often than two love-struck recent high school grads going to different colleges in the fall. Ergo, there's hell no way I'll buy a legit John and Hope romance. Of course, them being brainwashed again is a totally different story.
MARLENA, SAMI, and WILL
Wow, wow, and wow! Sami, Marlena, and, later, Will's scenes had me captivated. Like Sami, I have some issues with Marlena, but last week, Doc was spot-on. She placed the mirror up to Sami's face and made her deal with the harsh truth about herself.
I winced, but agreed, when Marlena told Sami that all of her hardships didn't give her the right to hurt her loved ones. I also winced and agreed when she made Sami realize she's doing the exact same thing to Will that she hated her mother for. Survey says, "Ouch!"
Ultimately, Sami is her own worst enemy. She does conjure up crazy, irrational stories to justify her feelings. She is wrong most of the time. Sure, that bodes well for viewers, but not for Sami Gene or her loved ones, especially Will, who's been utterly bulldozed over by her craziness.
Of course, Sami's semi-breakthrough was short-lived. When Rafe cornered her, she pretty much went back to attack mode, and used her arsenal of irrational logic. And her next target seems to be Marlena again, because she went a-knockin' at the end of Friday's episode. Next week should be good!
Are there "I heart Chandler Massey" t-shirts? If not, someone needs to get on that. I mean, it's no longer a question of if Chandler receives an Emmy; it's a matter of when. The guy's amazing, and is tackling Will's storylines with so much passion it's hard to look away!
Speaking of looking, Sonny got an eyeful when he spotted Will locking lips with Neil! Even though it took liquid courage, I'm glad Will followed his heart, er, hormones. His feelings have been brewing under the surface for a long time. To see him happy for a split second was a treat. I'm also jealous of his mutant abilities to sober up in a New York minute. Then again, facing something that both terrifies and exhilarates you will do that.
It also makes me happy to see that Sonny has Will's back. I adore Sonny right now. His pain of not being able to help Will as much as he'd like is obvious. It reminds me of that scene in one of the Superman movies when the Man of Steel finds Lois Lane dead, freaks out, and reverses the world/time in order to go back and save her life. I think Sonny would do that for Will (and most of his friends). And that's super cool.
On the flip side, it broke my heart a little when Will told Marlena he couldn't remember the last time he was happy. I won't share a sob story because it's far less interesting than what played out on-screen, but I could relate with Will's feelings at one point in my life. Being able to relate to characters is a positive sign that this storyline is being told the right way. Heck, I even wanted to give Marlena a hug, which I'm sure would have been just as awkward as her and Sami's hug, for the way she supported and unconditionally loved Will. And that's another positive sign of things to come!
SAMI and RAFE
Here's something that you don't hear my say very often -- I fully support Rafe's anger. He was right to be furious with Sami. He was played for a fool time and again. She cheated on him. She lied to him. And she truly is the one who broke their marriage first. Whoopsie!
Still, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't admit that part of me was happy. I never fully understood "Safe." On a grand scale, I got what the writers were trying to do. But for me, I always felt they fell short with the way that they wrote Rafe and the way they wrote Sami when she was around him.
And because I can't give Rafe too much support -- sorry, but it makes me feel a little queasy -- I will say that he needs to watch where he wags his holier-than-thou finger. Just because he's right about one thing doesn't mean he's right about everything. In fact, he should probably refrain from calling E.J. a home wrecker when he's been pretty instrumental in home-wrecking Carrie and Austin's marriage. Just saying.
E.J. and NICOLE
Well, their mayoral semi-victory and celebration was a tad overshadowed by Rafe's announcement. Yet I couldn't get the adage, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," out of my head when Nicole learned the truth. Hell, girlfriend even said, "You cheated on me...again!"
I love Nicole, and so I couldn't help but feel horrible for my favorite hot mess. That's mostly due to Arianne Zucker and her endless talents. Still, Nicole should have seen this one coming. Nicole has been a lot of things over the years, but dumb was only added last year when she decided to give E.J. another chance. I hope that character flaw fades away now that this affair is out of the bag. Nicole and Nicole fans deserve better.
BRADY and MADISON
Whereas Eric Martsolf and Sarah Brown are doing a fine job with the material, this storyline is still teetering between "whatever" and "wake me when it's over." Had their courtship not existed in a vacuum, I would feel more compassion for the characters. Now, I just feel like they set themselves up for failure.
Anyway Madison spins it, she lied. Perhaps in between biting Brady's nipples and lathering him up for shaves, she could have slipped in that she was a trophy wife for a business mogul who doesn't love her. Sure, the mood might have been ruined, but at least she would have had a fighting chance to hold on to the man who's captured her heart-soul. Sorry, I gagged a bit.
I don't condone Madison's actions, yet, I oddly understand that Ian has some sort of irrational hold on her. There're a lot of us out there who become total spastic freaks when in proximity to certain people. Whenever I come face-to-face with my first crush, I revert back to "high school me" and begin to blush, ramble, and unintentionally giggle. Yes, it's embarrassing, but it happens.
However, Madison could have prevented breaking Brady's heart (and her own) by just telling him the truth. Since she and Sami went to school together, I'm guessing they were both out sick on the day when common sense was taught. Neither of them seem to know the difference (and reward) of telling someone the truth as opposed to them finding out on their own. Ladies, ladies, ladies, there's a big difference. Look into it.
IAN and COMPANY
I dig that Victor doesn't personally like Ian, but still seems to respect him as a brilliant businessman. It adds an interesting layer to the storyline. I hope the writers follow through with this, and we get to watch Victor struggle with decisions regarding what's best for Titan and what's best for his family.
Yet sweeter than Ian's shortbread cookies, was "Magic!" They kissed and made up. I'm still in love with this couple. Just when you think Victor will blow it, he becomes all teddy bear and melts Maggie's heart. I enjoy that he's not above learning from her, and apologizing to her when he becomes Mr. Cranky Pants.
As cranky as Victor can be, Stefano is bound to be a lot crankier when he learns about Ian and Kate. It worries me that Stefano is out of town while Ian is on the prowl. I love Stefano and Kate, and don't want to see them implode.
I will admit, however, that Kate and Ian are interesting to watch, too. I'm curious about their history, and to find out just exactly when they were together. Besides, there's always comfort in knowing that Stefano will simply crush Ian if he feels threatened. There's nothing scarier (or more fun to watch) than a Phoenix scored!
Oh, dear, Soap Gods! Why are you doing this to the viewers!? How are we ever going to fill the void left by Quinn if he goes to Paris to track down Taylor? Oh, wait. I think we'll be okay. I only remember he's still in Salem when he makes his monthly visits. Why was he brought back again? Not that there's anything wrong with Bren Foster (or his hotness), but, seriously.
I kind of wanted to fast-forward through everything else last week just to get to the Sami/Marlena/Will scenes. They were that good! Ali, Dee, and Chandler were absolutely amazing. They brought it for Sweeps, and I was left completely wowed. More, please!
I must have been visited by the WTF Fairy because I'm stumped about Madison's hatred for Kate. If she recognizes that Ian doesn't love her and never did, and if she recognizes that she loves Brady, and, finally, if she recognizes that Ian is pretty much waging psychological warfare on her by not giving her a divorce, then why, oh, why does she care if Ian had/has the hots for Kate and her blue streak? That doesn't make sense. At all. To reiterate -- she doesn't like the guy. He doesn't like her. Yet he won't give her a divorce, and she moved to Salem simply to go bring down Kate. I said it earlier, and I'll say it again, "Riiight."
LINE OF THE WEEK:
Will (responding to Sami asking, "God, what did I do to deserve this?"):
"I think I have a list somewhere."
EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK:
Marlena: "I've faced my demons."
I cracked up that Marlena gave Will a knowing nod when he mentioned he was playing Beer Pong. I now suspect Mar Mar was the 1975 Salem U Beer Pong Champion.
Speaking of Beer Pong, I know Salem is in between mayors, but someone should probably figure out why underage college kids were playing it in the middle of the town square.
Marlena stopped by Sami's to see her grandkids before she left for Alamainia, but she'd already tried to leave the day before, but ran into passport problems. I think she was just bored.
Will's makeout man, Neil, made me think of Dr. Neil Curtis. And that made me think of songbird Liz Chandler. And that made me sad. She needs to make a cameo and sing us a tune or two.
Will said, "If I'm not back in ten, call my grandma." Random, but funny!
Sonny's friends, Dustin and Kareem, crack me up.
Hmm, does John have Dr. Dan's Shaky Hand Syndrome, too?
Carrie's attempt at working on her marriage is much like my attempt to use my dusty, clothes-covered exercise bike. Girl, it's not going to happen. Let it go.
Alamainia might have underground bunkers, earthquakes, and coups of state, but it also had Frankie Brady (a.k.a. Franšois Von Leuschner) in a tunnel! Maybe Hope and John will run into him. It's about time he comes home to Salem and almost manages to win Jennifer back.
The jeweler must love seeing E.J. coming into the store.
Sonny met Madonna in Dubai! I think my friend JoJo just died of jealousy.
Life isn't fair for Sami. Not only was she having a bad week in general, she was also having a bad hair day. She went from an awesome "Joan Jett 'do" the week before to "Who left the Barbie doll out in the rain?" look last week. Eek!
So, friends and DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of February 27! I'm off to help Sami fix her hair. Laurisa will be back next week to clean up the mess left by last week's emotional explosions. She'll also divulge the identity of the man who placed his paw on Nicole's shoulder, and celebrate the homecoming of a beloved vet. And, "That's a fact!"
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