10th Annual Alex North Memorial Awards: The Worst of DAYS 2016

For the Week of January 2, 2017
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10th Annual Alex North Memorial Awards: The Worst of DAYS 2016
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It's out with the old -- and the bad -- as we take one last look back at all the things that stink, stank, and stunk on Days of our Lives 2016. Get ready for the 10th Annual Alex North Memorial Awards honoring the Worst of DAYS.

Happy New Year, DAYS fans! The year 2016 in Salem will be remembered for a lot of good things -- the trio of terror, Hope shooting Stefano, Patchy-Claus. However, there are a handful of things that we should all forget. As in, immediately. Bye, Felicia. These things never happened.

In case you missed it, we can be nice too. We handed out Golden Donuts to the best of DAYS 2016 here. But enough of that warm, fuzzy nonsense. Let's get down to the dirty work.

New to the show or newly returned, they made a less than stellar entrance

Laurisa: Adrianna Hernandez
First, her character was utterly unnecessary. Did we need someone to remind us that Hernandi look out for each other? Nope. We covered that over the years, thanks to the kids. Second, when your first scene is pretty much to bash Hope Brady, it's not going to go well for you. But at least they doubled down on her random Hope-hate and trotted out Mexican Barbie to shove in her grown son's face. That was fun and totally fair to the talented Ximena Duque. Third, Mama H picked up on the stereotypes where Clyde left off, and instead of explaining how she miraculously recovered from all of her ailments that kept her back in West Salem all these years, we got a cartoonish Latina who yelled a lot and made tamales. Super.

Tony: Dario Hernandez
We get it, Dario. Your life sucks. No one has suffered more than you or your five o'clock shadow. Your daddy done you wrong. You hate Mondays. Ack! Feline AIDS is the number one killer of domestic cats. Trust us, we get it, Dario Downer. Would you like a little cheese with your whine? Right. He's probably lactose intolerant and will complain about that, too. Guh! This guy. If anyone wants to pitch in for a one-way ticket to send Dari-OMG-You're-Exasperating back to Cali or Argentina, text me.


Laurisa: Julie Williams
I adore Susan Seaforth Hayes. But I'm to the point where I preventatively start rolling my eyes the second I see Julie, just so I don't fall behind on the eye-rolling once Julie starts squawking...er...talking. Really, who needs enemies when you've got family like this? I would be fine with her blindly loving Nick if she also shared an ounce of the same devotion to the rest of the Horton family. She rarely says boo about Will. Lucas' wedding wasn't even an afterthought to her. She mouthed off about Chad not giving up his son's first Christmas, yet I saw no Horton ornament for Thomas or Chad on that tree. It seems like she plays way too many favorites, and Alice would not have been down with that. I'm starting to see where J.J. learned how to be such an accusation-throwing numb-nuts.

Tony: Chase Jennings
Why, oh, why did DAYS take a dorky, timid kid who was sweet and just wanted to be the next Karate Kid and turn him into a disturbed, stepsister-obsessed rapist!? In fact, the rape seemed like it was the only purpose in aging him and Ciara into teens. Instead, the only things it really did was create a horrible stain on DAYS, make the Horton home feel icky, and back Chase into a corner that he'd never, ever redeem his way out of. Ultimately and hastily, they shipped him to Oregon. Great planning, DAYS.

What makes this worse is that Jonathon McClendon was a catch for DAYS. He proved his acting chops time and again. He had great father/son chemistry with Daniel Cosgrove, too. So, instead of crafting a long-term storyline for the new "Teen Posse" that would have kept characters true to their essence, they simply went for the shock factor of Chase raping Ciara on the Horton couch, ruining a promising character played by a gifted actor in the process. Nailed it, DAYS. Nailed it.


Laurisa: Nicole Walker
This pick sucks because I love me some Nicole. But I hardly recognize her at all this year! She started out the year grieving for St. Daniel of Jonas. I get that she's upset. What I don't get was the viciousness she spewed at Eric. She didn't need to throw him a party. But that pendulum swings both ways, and Nicole rode it too far to the hate side, considering we're talking about the original love of her life who left God for her here.

The middle of the year, Nicole was totally exasperated that Theresa would at all be upset that Nicole (a recovering Brady-a-holic) would lie to Theresa and chase halfway across the country for Brady. She could have, you know, not lied to Brady's fiancé about what she was doing. But whatever, Theresa was "way out of line" there. Good call, Nicki.

Finally, we got to Deimos. There's a whole other award for this couple itself. But for Nicole's part, I could have sworn she learned something from Trent and Victor. Mainly, not to let an abusive man scream at her that she doesn't deserve to be a mother and then go crying back to that dude. I guess not.

Tony: Laura Horton
Srsly, Laura!? I just couldn't with her. Ignoring the fact that she may have broken a bunch of medical oaths and a few laws helping Andre cover up Abigail's death, she let her own daughter believe her daughter was dead! That is colder than the icecaps before global warming.

Months later, I still can't find a valid reason Laura can use to justify her actions other than her ego was so big that she wanted to be the one to cure Abigail. Spoiler Alert: Abigail isn't even cured. Laura was not only enabling Abigail's behavior and endangering her long-term mental health by keeping her isolated, she was also endangering her other, um, "loved ones," as well -- though I'm not sure how Laura could claim to love her family by letting them think their daughter, sister, mother, etc., was dead and allowing Abs to think that was a healthy life choice. Great therapying, Laura. I mean, it's not like Jennifer is a recovering addict who could have fallen off the wagon. Oh, wait! She is. And Jennifer did fall. Hard, in fact. Ugh, it's just baffling on so many levels as to how Laura thought she was actually helping Abigail or the family.

Ultimately, if Stefano let people believe Abs was dead like she and Andre did, Laura and her big "All DiMeras Are Deplorable" mouth would still be screaming from the hills, but, since she was in on it, that was okay? Making matters worse, Laura would have let it go on indefinitely had Abigail not returned to Salem. To top off the CrapFest that was Laura, when Abigail voiced concerns over Jennifer's anger after finding out what had happened, Laura simply said, "Oh, she'll get over it," AND THEN SHE LAUGHED! All that, and she didn't even stick around Salem to help clean up the mess. I repeat, "Srsly, Laura!?"

A typically smart character acting kinda stupid!

Laurisa: Victor Kiriakis
Something was off with the big fella this year. His trademark snark was always better calibrated. But this year, he seemed to just hate blindly toward Summer, Theresa, Nicole, Chloe, until something eventually stuck. Then, he shoulder-shrugged off Deimos crippling Maggie and killing Bo and handed the entire company over to his shady little bro. Oh, and once he was in place, Victor just gave him the ol' "don't you do it again" finger wag when Deimos kidnapped and drugged Philip. I never took Victor as one to play the chump. But he did a lot this year. Boo.

Tony: Eddie Hernandez
Okay, I'm not going to give him too much grief for his less than thought-out actions, as they set off one hell of a Salem Under Siege storyline, but -- BUT -- Eddie does deserve an Alex North Memorial Award-size slap on the wrist. I mean, the guy's a trained assassin. He knows what he's doing. He's done it for years. He's even so savvy that he fooled all twenty of his faux families for decades. So, why, oh, why would such a smart guy attack a schmuck in an enclosed space like that? What did he think would happen? I'm going with, "He wasn't thinking." Oh, Eddie. You tried. There's that.

The writers kept trying, but kept striking out!

Laurisa: Abigail: Salem's Sweetheart?
Some soap characters are intentionally written to be manipulative. Abigail is definitely not one of those. And I honestly think the writers believe Abigail is a strong, flawed heroine, one they can model after her own dad (even giving her some of his exact same storylines.) But the problem is that Jack's lack of self-confidence stemmed from a horrible upbringing and a tortured past. Abigail has neither of those. In fact, Abs had a darn near privileged upbringing by soap standards. She wasn't raped, pimped out, or forced into porn once!

So when Abigail can't make up her mind between two men, it's her fault. And that makes it hard to root for her. And when she rips into Chad and Gabi for moving on...I mean. The dude literally erected an angel statue in her memory. What more does she want from the guy? And when she shoulder-shrugs off her brother's concerns that keeping her secret just torpedoed his life, we're supposed to still be on her side. But I'm not. At all.

Unlike previous leading ladies like Hope, Sami, and Marlena, Abigail's main adversary is her own indecisiveness. She doesn't think anything she does is wrong at the time she's doing it. We'll get to the botched mental illness storyline later, but rather than letting Abigail actually fall on her face for her own mistakes, the show whips up excuse after excuse for her to keep her stunted as the delicate flower who needs saving. That does not a leading lady make.

Tony: Victor and the red shoes
I know. I know. Victor was being entirely endearing by enticing Maggie to dance again with the red shoes, but I felt that was Mickey and Maggie's thing. Actually, it was a huge part of their relationship. Having Victor offer them up came across as soap sacrilege. It would be like if Rafe started calling Hope "Fancy Face" and bought her a boat with that same nickname. Sorry, but "Rope" is not "Bope" and "Magic" is not "Miggie." Victor's still rich. He can afford his own shtick and leave the red shoes alone.

In case you didn't hear it the first five thousand times...

Laurisa: Paulson shippers
I'm fairly certain that if you had a scene with either Paul or Sonny that lasted more than ten seconds, you had to mention the other Salem gay. It's the law. I half expected Melinda Trask to ask Chad what he thought of Paulson while he had the stand during Hope's trial. I genuinely like both Paul and Sonny. And I adore that everyone wants them both to be happy. But, the "wink-wink-nudge-nudge" questioning is crazy tedious and not really reflective of the obstacle standing in their way right now -- getting past Sonny's clunky exit from the show last year.

Tony: WWDD?
I'm under no illusions that there isn't a booth reserved for me in hell, so I'm just going to say that if I heard, "What would Daniel do?" or "Daniel would have wanted..." one more time, I was going to throw a Kristen DiMera-sized fit, trash a hotel room, and plot to bring down anyone who uttered that annoying chant. You know what Dr. Dude would do? Well, if it were in a hospital gown, he would have romanced it. If he didn't approve of its actions, he'd My Fair Lady it until he deemed it worthy. Dr. Dan was a great doctor, friend, son, etc., but he was hardly the second coming. #letitgoSalem

Things were going so well and then...

Laurisa: John's new parents
Johnny boy's been through a boatload of parents -- including the Alaimains, Bradys, and DiMeras. But this latest round of lineage is the most puzzling. His mother basically said, yeah, you were around, but I had to chuck you aside. And his father was some hybrid of Stefano DiMera and Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who might have also been a war hero? I can't really remember. What I can remember is that this newest parentage does nothing to further John's character, which is unfortunate. That was always a great opportunity for some backstory, and the writers punted it away.

Tony: Lani Price
Remember when Lani first came to Salem as a plucky cop determined to make detective? I miss that version. But, don't worry! We got Lani 2.Ho. Yep, instead of a kickass policewoman with an awesome family, 2016 gave us Sexual Predator Lani. She went from "Girl Power!" to "Girl, please." It would have been one thing if she were simply sexually liberated, but she came across downright desperate and a bit obsessive. I mean, if tricking a guy into going to a seedy motel on the premise of police work and rubbing up on him after he repeatedly said no is downright desperate and a bit obsessive, that is. Lani leaving was a good thing at the time, and I'm hoping now that she's back, she left her creeper vibes in Miami. Fingers crossed!

Too much or too little of anything is a bad thing.

Laurisa: Deimos Kiriakis
When Vincent Irizarry walks into a room, you can tell he means menacing soap villain business! Deimos is basically the human incarnation of Jafar from Aladdin. So, why they're trying to lob layers of gray on this character is totally nuts. Plus, to make sure all of that gets noticed, this never-heard-of-before schmuck has to be all over the place all. the. time. He hasn't even been on the show a full year yet, and so far he's had the following storylines:
1. Romantic relationships with Kate, Chloe, and Nicole. (That sound just heard was Roman flipping over a table in the writers' room.)
2. The keys to the Kiriakis house, where he frequently orders people to move in and move out at his pleasure.
3. Titan. He's in charge of ever-lovin' Titan Industries, and everyone (sans Sonny and Philip) seems to think this is a hunky-dory-fun-time idea.
4. He was behind Bo's torture!
5. He paralyzed Maggie.
6. He kidnapped and tortured Philip.
7. Chloe gave Nicole her miracle baby, almost dying during childbirth, yet somehow Deimos is poised to be the hero of this storyline.
8. He's involved in a deal with Eddie and Dario to steal microchips from Andre.
9. Walks into a women's prison and pays off an inmate to shadow Hope.
10. Trapped and made the ultimate call about what happened to Xander.
11. Returned from the dead.
Enough! The bottom line is that trying to balance out all the horrible things he keeps doing to make him a good guy is chewing up way too much screen time. They should just let Deimos be bad. He'd be great at it.

Tony: Henry

I struggled the hardest with this award category as so many Salemites were used, abused, and misused (Hello, Aiden!), but I decided to go with one who didn't get used enough. That is "Teen Posse" Henry. He was sweet, smart, awkward, and downright adorable, especially as Claire's loyal sidekick and Paul's smitten protégé. He even had a sad soapy backstory -- the gay son of staunchly religious parents. And DAYS couldn't do anything with that!?

My storyline wish list for Henry was that he would turn out to be Tyler Kiriakis, Philip and (ugh) Mimi's child they gave up for adoption. That would have kept Philip away from "Phelle 4.Oh, No" as he dealt with a child that was actually his as Claire and Parker didn't turn out well for him in the parentage department. It would have given one of Deimos' many storylines to someone else (i.e. the rejected Kiriakis heir). And generally, it would've given one teen a storyline that wasn't rape or murder. Bonus! Steve and Kayla could have been involved as they initially had fostered Li'l Pocket. So much potential so misused.


Laurisa: Ciara comforts Chase over raping her
I agree with everything Tony said about the mutilation of Chase's character for the purpose of a horrid rape storyline. If DAYS wanted to offend everyone possible, that move did it with flying colors by having the crime take place on Alice Horton's couch, in the middle of one of the most iconic sets DAYS has, to a legacy character. But the "I just can't" moment for me was when Ciara was volunteering at the mental hospital and had to console poor Chase as he lamented that everyone is mean to him in the hospital because he's a rapist. Gah! Literally anyone else would have been a better pick in that scene. But not Ciara! Anyone who thinks women don't still have an uphill battle toward equality need to look no further than the fact that this scene was written and made it to air.

Tony: Jennifer sues for custody of Thomas
To be fair, a lot of 2016 was one shocking "what the &%$#?" moment after another, but this one made me seethe. How on earth did junky Jen decide she was a better person to raise Thomas than Chad!? You'd think she had to have been high to come up with that idea, but, nope, she was on the wagon at the time and even had Doug and (not as surprising) Julie's blessings to rip a baby from his grieving father. It was despicable, especially coming from the "family first," "we stand together to get through adversity" Hortons standing in Tom and Alice's living room. Doc Horton and Mrs. H would have been so disappointed in all involved.

To top it off, Jennifer later asked Hope if she minded if she used Aiden as her lawyer. You remember Aiden -- the DiMera pawn who married and almost killed Hope for insurance money, and whose son raped Ciara? Yep, that guy. Awesome, Jenny Bear. Awesome "family first" attitude. Oh, well, maybe Better-Caregiver-In-Her-Own-Mind Jennifer was right in the end. She was a real, uh, mother and did have a fully stocked nursery full of diapers, blankies, and drugs tucked away in the baby's changing table in case of an emergency.


Laurisa: Finn Thompson
There really wasn't a prayer for the Stayla interloper. But at one point this year, Steve and Kayla made him stay in the hotel room bathroom for a good three episodes while the adults talked outside. Ouch.

Tony: Philip Kiriakis
If a handsome billion-heir Marine vet can't get a gal to go gaga for him, is there really hope for any single person out there? Neither of Phil's first great loves wanted to rebound with him for the long run, nor could he even hold onto a one-night stand. This dude may want to lower his bar and troll Craigslist personals, as his love life can't end up any more tragic.


Laurisa: Deimos Kiriakis and Nicole Walker
First she was an exact ringer for Deimos and Victor's old love Helena -- something Victor never once mentioned during the decades Nicole has been on the show. Then, Nicole was going to trick him into divulging his nefarious deeds but instead got herself a very enticing offer/threat to remain as Deimos' mistress when he wed Kate. (Hubba-hubba, right, ladies?) Finally, she legitimately fell for him because he's...um, changed? That's right, he has! Now, instead of torturing Victor's sons to get back at Victor, he's torturing Victor's son to get information for Nicole. But that's cool. No one should ever lie to Nicole. By the way Deimos, I guess Nicole was cool with you hiring Xander to work for you when you told her that, right?

Tony: Haiden: Part Deux Eww
This storyline soared about as splendid as Aiden's dead bird friend. Yep, a dead bird. You know it's going to be an excellent adventure when a dead bird's involved. Yeah. That should have set off alarm bells, but, nope, the writers went forth and created an inconsistent, cringe-worthy debacle that just sort of bitch-slapped Hope and Aiden's delightful first round as Haiden. It not only kept the bus rolling over Aiden, backing up over him, and rolling over him again and again, but it also made Hope look weak and wishy-washy. I mean, when the dude describes that he was hired to marry and kill you, that's a deal-breaker, ladies, especially if the man's son just raped your daughter. That's not to mention that Aiden merely came across as creepy and desperate. And who didn't get the butt-shivers when Aiden and Hope kissed? Ick. Just so much ick. At least they had a classy ending. There's that, but this entire storyline should have been left on the condom vending machine beside Aiden's dead bird.

Wait...what did this storyline just do?!

Laurisa: Junkies in lust: Jennifer and Eric sleep together
Let's all admit that it took us a good second to scan the family trees to make sure they weren't related. And that's understandable. When Jack and Jennifer had globetrotting adventures with Marlena and John, it never occurred to me that Jen would bed Mar's son one day. This pair was obviously the idea of one writing regime that got killed (mercifully) by the next. I'll be okay if we don't revisit it when Eric comes back. Pleaseandthankyou.

Tony: Misters Before Sisters: A Nicole and Chloe Tale
2016 was just miserable both to Nicole and Nicole Fans. Our once fierce hellcat schemer with a heart of gold became a lame sack of sadness and sorry choices. One of said "sorry choices" was choosing Deimos over Chloe. That broke my heart. I mean, I get it. Deimos had treated her SO kindly up until that point, you know, offering her a role as his side piece once he married Kate, or when he crippled Maggie, whom Nicole loves, so, sure, I can see why she was so quick to turn her back on Chloe. Then again, aside from forgiving Nicole for a few horrible acts she committed against her and offering to be a surrogate to carry Nicole's miracle baby with Dr. Dude, what has the Chlomeister really done for Nicole? You know what's really sadder than sad? Nicole and Chloe got over flesh-eating bacteria, but maybe not Deimos.


Laurisa: Kate is the Tate-napper
The storyline of the missing heir to both the Black and Kiriakis fortunes had so much potential. But alas, the botched wrap-up on this storyline made two terrible mistakes. One, apparently Deimos' lovin' was just so great that the deprivation of it drove Kate mad enough to snatch up a baby. Ugh. Okay... Two, there was this super weird scene where Kate was all, "I know this seems whack, considering what ol' Curtis did to Billy and Austin. But this is totes different because you're in this comfy nursery with nice animal wallpaper!" Nope. Sorry. This was a hindsight rewrite, and a sloppy one at that. Boo.

Tony: Ava's Death
You know what you do with one of the most talented actors in the industry who just so happened to have won DAYS its first Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Emmy since 1986? Kill her character off, that's what! Sometimes you just have to hang your head in disbelief and sigh, "Really, DAYS? Really?" Let's break this down: Joey killed Ava, which, like Ciara's rape, seemed another example of shock value and a reason to SORAS the kids into teens. Ava's death did nothing to further any storyline. Joey ended up with a few semi-stern lectures, a slap on the wrist, and loss of his motorcycle usage. Thankfully, Patch and Kayla didn't revoke Joey's crème brûlée allowance. I mean, a boy has to have dessert. Anyways, Joey had a few therapy sessions, and he's good now, mmm'k. I wish I were good with all the Ava slapping some sense into Nicole and generally fabulous Ava scenes we'll never get again. Boo!

What should have been, but never was...

Laurisa: All things Shelle
Shawn, Belle, and Philip's ousting; Theresa's exit; and Nicole and Chloe's displacement up a generation made it seem like there was a bit of a dwindling demographic in Salem this year. But the most egregious of all of these was Shelle. They're both legacy kids who have miraculously managed to stay just as interesting individually as they are popular together. I loved Belle as a no-nonsense lawyer. She was also one of the few people in Chad's life who didn't need something from him. I miss their friendship, as platonic friendships on soaps are rare these days. For Shawn's part, I adored him in dad mode with Claire Bear. But best of all, he's a Salem cop who actually got stuff done! Imagine the possibilities if J.J. could have learned under his cousin. How great would it have been to have Shawn mellow out Rafe's Rafe-iness? There was a lot more Shelle could do. I hope they're on the Lucas Horton plan and return from Hong Kong permanently soon.

Tony: Theresa's Xanderless exit
I'll forever marvel at Jen Lilley's talents, yet I can't help but think DAYS completely missed a slow-rolling ground ball headed in their direction with Theresa's exit storyline. Instead of Theresa departing due to Xander -- who, let's be real, had a totally legit reason to hate Jeannie T and want her to fall of the face of Salem -- we got an eleventh hour, never-heard-of-before bad guy, who is more powerful than Victor, Shane, the ISA, or one of Maggie's hugs. I'm breaking out the rolling "Rrriiiggghhhttt" for that one. Xander was an already established dangerous dude with family ties to Salem -- to Theresa's family, no less! He could have taken her to that boat, and it could have blown up, leaving no survivors. "No survivors" in the soap term, of course. At least I would have believed that instead of Theresa having to alienate her loved ones and limp out of town to become a sex slave in Mexico until a solution is found. The entirely of it hurt my head, especially considering the talented Paul Telfer had just pulled out of the parking lot and could have easily been waved back in. What. A. Waste.


Laurisa: Abigail in the attic
Despite the darn near brilliant work from all the actors involved, this whole storyline just made me feel creepy. Mental illness is a nuanced subject. DAYS didn't do it justice. Instead of having Abigail's family rally around her and get her some actual help (see: Adrienne's cancer storyline), they treated her like she's a cat that got out by mistake. Shhh!! Don't startle her! She might run again! Instead, let's just bring this little bowl of food by her and see if we can calmly talk her into coming out from under the porch.

The other sticker here is I'm not so sure Abigail is all that unstable. She seemed pretty with it when she blackmailed two people -- one of them using Chad's own grief (that she caused). Don't get me wrong, I loved this Abigal as well as Marci Miller's fierce portrayal! Yet no one seems to call Abigail on this behavior. Instead, DAYS seems to be confusing mental illness with blanket immunity, which begs the question: If you have a character who can never be called out on their actions, why have that character on a soap?

Of course, the Abigail in the attic disaster also furthered something that's been bothering me since Chad returned to Salem. While there's nothing outright offensive about the pair, there's much more of a pattern of Abigail not choosing to be with Chad than there is a pattern of them being together. This attic business continued that tradition. She didn't come back for Chad. She came back for J.J. And she went to see Thomas, not Chad. And it became just plain tedious to watch Abigail flip-flop (sometimes within the very same episode!) on whether to tell Chad or not. Can you see Marlena coming back for Belle and not running to John? Of course not. If Chabby is supposed to be a supercouple, DAYS needs to start doing super things with them. Stashing one of them away in the Horton attic isn't it.

Tony: Dr. Dan's Hydra-like death
In Greek mythology, the Hydra is a serpent-like creature with nine heads. It's said if one head is cut off, two more grow. Yeah, Dr. Dude's death was like that -- if one storyline died, two more grew from it. And his ongoing death was just as fun as battling a nine-headed mythical snake that never dies. Aside from the aforementioned maddening mantras -- "What would Daniel Do?" and "Daniel would have wanted..." -- let's look at the other smoldering messes that we got from Dr. Dan's demise:

The final nail in the coffin to the destruction of Eric Brady's character (and any hope for "Ericole" fans). After the accident, which killed Dr. St. Daniel of Jonas, Eric would eventually go on to star in "Drunk High Degrading Hookup" opposite Jennifer before being unceremoniously shipped off to Statesville Prison on a convict short bus. That was a swell time had by no one.

I mentioned Jennifer. Yep. She got a storyline as a result of the accident, too. Salem's sweetheart became a drug addict! There's no doubt that Melissa Reeves sold the role, but dear soap gods, it was ridiculous. It was as if the writers were saying, "Don't worry about solid storytelling, let's just make these characters as miserable as possible -- fans will love it!"

Let's not forget that Brady and Eric both needed heart transplants, and poor Maggie had to pick which one got Dr. Dan's miracle muscle. It was Brady. Brady got it. And the Brady got mystical powers linking his psyche to Dead Dr. Dan's, which meant we got...

Summer the Bummer! Yes. This is another glorious gem attributed to Dr. Dan's death. This one not only showcased the utter absurdity of Brady and Dr. Dude's heart connection, but it rewrote Maggie's history and also made Maggie a big fat liar. You remember Maggie. The one who was so desperate to have a child that she froze eggs (one of which would later be stolen, thawed, and hatch Dr. Dude himself). Yep, we're to believe Salem's resident Care Bare gave up a child. Sure. Whatever you say. But I digress...

Summer the Bummer, yes! That was the point. Aside from rewriting Maggie's history to accommodate Sums, and despite the best efforts of the talented Marie Wilson, this character was pure rubbish on every level. Marie's talents would have been much better suited as a Sarah Horton recast, as Marie and Suzanne Rogers have amazing mother/daughter chemistry. But Summer worked, too, amIright!? Ugh.

We can also talk about how boneheaded Brady had become during the entire ordeal. Let's start with him jeopardizing his new heart and general health time after time, especially when diving into the ocean to save Summer. Then, let's not forget all the many, many...many times Brady blamed Theresa for thinking the worst of Summer, going as far as calling her insecure. Um, hindsight would be a bitch for Brady, as Theresa was right about the Bummer the entire time, but I'm not entirely sure Brady would know what hindsight is. Spoiler Alert: He's not that bright.

Did I mention the Crapfest that was Summer? Whoops! I did. #bearsrepeating

Yep, Nicole and Chloe's breakup that I kvetched about earlier is indirectly a result of this storyline, too, since DAYS couldn't let Daniel die without leaving a literal piece of him behind for women to fight over.

Drats! This could go on all day, but, let's just say, next time a character dies, a shrine is erected in Horton Town Square, and about a billion storylines spawn from said death, the character better be someone like Bo, you know, who's funeral and year-later memorial covered about the first ten minutes of two episodes.

Whew! We made it! Of course, the list is all in good fun. Let us know what you'd rather forget about Salem this year. We'll continue the "airing of the grievances" on Twitter -- @Tony_S_Days and @LaurisaDays. Let us know your thoughts!

As always, thanks for reading!
Tony and Laurisa

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