Nothing breaks like a heart

For the Week of January 21, 2019
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The folks at the bar look on in shock as Sarah slaps Rex
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The week of January 21, 2019
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Someone bring a broom to Salem to sweep up all the broken heart pieces! Rex crushed Sarah. Things aren't right with Rope. Chad and Abigail are miserable apart. So are Will and Sonny. Jennifer's taking two steps forward and two back with Jack. Kayla's miserable without Steve. Yep. Bring a broom, some tissues, ice cream, wine, and an Alanis Morissette playlist as we whine about the brokenhearted in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Love can lift us up where we belong, but it can also suck when it goes south. Majorly, royally, soul-crushingly suck. That's pretty much where several Salem romances seem to be heading these days. Well. Except John and Marlena. Their ongoing honeymoon is so sweet, unless you've been recently heartbroken, then you just want to scream, "Get a room!" to them then go back to your wine and whining. I think Sarah knows what I'm talking about here. She took home the trophy for Biggest Loser in Love last week. Let's discuss...

You know how things generally happen in threes? If that's the case, Sarah needs to keep Maggie on lockdown. She's the only person Rex could possibly sleep with next that would crush Sarah even more. Oh, that Rex. He's a dog. And by "dog," I mean he's an arrogant, selfish several words I'm not allowed to write-er.

Heck, even before Sarah found out about Noelle, Rex was a cheater with a weak game plan to win her back. I'm pretty sure he got his, um, "strategy" from an episode of Saved by the Bell. He wanted Eric's help to lure Sarah somewhere then make up an excuse to leave so he could be alone with her. Because duping someone you lied to a lot always makes them swoon. Guh-reat thinking, Rex.

Still, Ron's writing made me stop and think -- is most of Rex and Sarah's storyline being off-screen brilliant or bogus?

On one hand, it's asking a lot of viewers to invest in anything Rex and Sarah. They basically came onto the scene to implode. It's been that fallout ever since. We've seen Rex grovel and call himself an idiot. He is. We've seen Sarah drink, scream, cry, and wave the Team Eric flag. She did. But what we've seen of Rex and Sarah leaves little to invest in. Or does it?

On the other hand, there's a savviness to having Rex and Sarah's relationship play out mostly off-screen. The use of seldom-mentioned characters with strong family ties in town is smart. It's almost a tribute to longtime fans that says, "You know who these characters are, and now you can catch up with them!" I love that aspect.

Plus, there's mystery. We've heard what happened and some of why it happened, but what is the entire story? Do we need the entire saga or is knowing Rex took two trips to Cheater City enough? Without seeing it all play out and only getting snippets from each character's point of view, it's kind of fun to draw our own conclusions while we wait for the next anvil to fall. Will we have a reunion with Noelle, too? Was Sarah a champion to Rex as she is with Eric? Aside from darts at a biker bar, just how was their relationship? It didn't sound so strong, but we don't know. Yep. Lots of mysteries there.

Overall, though, this storyline is not painting a good picture of Rex. He cheated with his ex and got her pregnant. It took him a minute to decide to be a dad. Then he moved said booty call and baby to Chicago to be closer to him...and then moved to Salem. Umm, okay. And then he admitted to Sarah that he cheated on her with her sister, too. Great acting from Linsey Godfrey as Sarah worked out that the only "Noelle" she knew was her sister. That was crushing.

While Sarah pings a bit on the possibly-unstable-at-times radar, we know more about her. I like her moxie. I like her loyalty. I like her sharp tongue. Rex's has had one note since he's been back, and that's serial cheater. I'll say to Rex what Sarah said to Xander, "That's a hard pass."

If Rex is planting roots in Salem again, I'm nervous. I don't want to dislike the guy. He was the nerdy hot alien in silver trunks whose sister "died" in a turkey pi˝ata. Those are warm, fuzzy DAYS memories. But -- big but -- this version is somewhere between Leo and Deimos and Stefan on the Creeper Scale. He's not a full ten like Scooter or Paul Mendez, but I'm not sure I want him lurking around Sarah or Chloe until he can change his cheating ways. They deserve better.

Meanwhile, a sickened, enraged Sarah went to Eric. They started to make out. He stopped them. Then they started again. Fade to black. Methinks he will stop them again. I hope so, anyway. Here's why...

While Greg Vaughan and Linsey have great chemistry, it's way too early for Eric and Sarah to be anything other than a rebound. I want better for them. Notwithstanding seeing Eric in a similar storyline recently with Brady, Sarah and Eric are like the scalding plates a server warns you not to touch as they set them down. Yes, it's hard to sit there and look at your sizzling food, but a little wait time will be less burned tongue and more mmm-mmm good.

Let's look at the evidence. Sarah's a justified hot mess right now, and, while I do believe she genuinely cares for Eric, I also think she sees him as the kind of man she wishes Rex was. Eric's deep love for Nicole and his commitment to her and Holly is probably something a heartbroken Sarah is in awe of. She wants a man to want her like that. Only her like that. And that's the other issue. Eric is sooo barely even a little bit over Nicole. He's not ready to be that guy for Sarah. He could be, but not yet. So, I hope the writers don't spoil a good friendship/brewing something-something for a cheap way to get back at Rex. Fingers crossing in five, four, three...

Kayla and Eve's conversation was...interesting. Kayla surely brought a bazooka to a knife fight by bringing up Paige. I get why she did. She was hoping to give Eve some perspective. She also wasn't wrong that Eve should consider a fresh start. Still, I'm not sure if Kayla was the best delivery person. Something seemed off.

While Shelia and Xander cracked me up, I'm a little over the Abe/Shelia thingy at the moment. He certainly didn't ask her on a date. He certainly failed to defend himself when she said he did. Shelia tried to be a smooth operator and got the tickets, but her tactics put her on the Creeper Scale while doing so. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. And I want those Sade tickets. So, I'm disappointed and don't have tickets. I guess now I am mad. Anyways.

Speaking of that Creeper Scale, a lust-filled Leo finally got Xanimal into bed. Will they? Won't they? We don't know yet! The only ick-factor is Leo's premature pawing of Xander before he agreed to their deal. And that's what it is. A deal. Leo wants to bed Xander; in exchange, Xander wants information from Leo. Since Leo's a former prostitute, using his body as a bartering tool isn't shocking (sad, but not shocking). It's also not shocking that con man and general opportunist Xander is willing to accept extreme terms to get what he wants. Okay, it's a bit shocking that Xander said yes, but it's his body and his choice. There's that.

In Chabby Land, things are a little uncomfortable still, yet cautiously optimistic for a reunion. I found their talk at the DiMera mansion to be rather honest and refreshing. Neither held back, but their level heads led the conversation. At this point, Chad's basically waiting for Abigail to summon him with, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Chad on over!" Abigail certainly has every right to take her time and explore her feelings. Plus, Chad has certainly waited for Abigail to green light him in the past. He's patient (Hi, Cameron and Ben!) and forgiving (Hi, E.J.!). That's a good re-start.

I enjoyed Kate and Abigail's scene! I always adore feisty Abs, but Kate was also surprisingly honest and apologetic. You know. Honest and apologetic in that special Kate way.

Stefan was bragging, but I'm curious. When exactly did he beat Chad? I seem to remember Andre and Vivian orchestrating the DiMera Enterprises takeover for Stefan. That dude needs to check his so-called creds at the door.

Neither Stefan nor Gabi has any moral high ground to stand on, but I'm so totally in for them tearing each other apart. Tyler Christopher and Camila Banus were wickedly delicious together. Though, so far, the fire poker is winning.

Gabi did make a great point. No one in Salem loves Stefan. I'm actually hard-pressed to think of anyone who even likes him. Ben comes the closest, but that was more camaraderie over being town pariahs. Maybe Stefan should move to Brookville and see if the wig store is hiring. He'd be in heaven.

I find the John/Will dynamics interesting! I get why Will walks on eggshells a bit around John. Will did hurt Paul. There's that, but, as John declared, Will is his family, too, and he loves Will. I loved that!

More so, if anyone knows about being in a love triangle, it's John. The entire John/Roman/Marlena saga was one of the earliest times I can remember where all three characters in such a case respected each other and didn't want to see the others hurt yet knew that was inevitable for one. I'd like to think John sees that parallel in what happened with Will/Sonny/Paul. I think he does. Either that, or he's getting close to Will so he can blind him.

Update: Paul is recovering well and is dating his hunky physical therapist!

Update: E.J. is not recovering well and may still have a giant marshmallow on his head.

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EJ Marshmallow

As such, Sami has called in Rafe for backup with Johnny, who's "out of control," as he put it. As obnoxious as Rafe could be at times, I always liked his relationship with Sami's kids, especially Johnny. It was genuine. He loved him. And Johnny loved Rafe and his FBI jacket. So, sure. Why not. I get why Rafe would be a good candidate for the job.

Still, I have to wonder -- is Rafe the only person who could help Johnny? Lucas is already there. Susan is -- no. Okay. Lucas is there. He's sane and doesn't converse with Marlena dolls. Or perhaps Sami could send Johnny to Salem! He would be overwhelmed with relatives...

Grandpa Roman is crushing the patriarch good advice/tough love giver role, and he could give Johnny a job at the pub to teach him the value of "hard work builds character" and all. And he'd work with Ciara, another relative. Aunt Kayla's schedule has opened up. Johnny is technically Hope's great-nephew through marriage. Twinsie Eric has some pent-up child-rearing love to give. Former "out of control" kid and cousin J.J. would be a superb candidate (and J.J. loves his charity cases). Aside from a session with Haley and tickets to see Kiss Me, Kate, Marlena and John just kind of eat out a lot. They have the time. Rex could use something to do other than cheat on Sarah. Oh, and Will could really use the distraction as he waits for phone calls from Sonny and John. Like, he really needs more to do. Work on a story, Will. Anyway. There are options.

Of course, Hope wasn't thrilled about Rafe's decision to leave Salem to be with Johnny because that means Rafe will be around Sami, too. That's valid. And Rafe isn't thrilled that Hope was doing that hand thingy with Ted again -- otherwise known as shaking hands -- and that she's "not thinking about justice for his sister." There's a lot going on there. Hope wants him to stay in Salem to concentrate on their marriage. He's going to Italy, anyway. I'm at the end of my wits with "Rope," so I say, "Arrivederci!"

Extra Scoops

Matthew Ashford and Jennifer Reeves are breathing life into the show! Their scenes are mesmerizing. It's amazing how much more Jennifer is acting like Jennifer now that she has Jack back in her orbit. Their bond is still strong, yet you can see Jack wavering in an old-school Jack way. He seems drawn to Jenny Bear, but hearing of the things he's done in the past seems to be keeping him from embracing someone he's beginning to care for again. That's very Jack! Are we nearing a memory recall? Stay tuned!

While there were a few NOTS to choose from last week, I'm with Trask -- Salem seriously needs a po-po makeover. Maybe the Rock could host that show, too. Their only department that seems to be doing a good job is Human Resources. Sure, there's a groan-worthy level of incompetence a viewer has to roll with to explain why central characters receive a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, but, dang, it's better to be a criminal in Salem these days rather than someone who needs protecting. The town needs Batman or the Pacifier to keep the citizens safe. I'm beginning to realize Roman knew what he was doing by retiring from that clown rodeo.

Victor (to Xander, regarding Leo): "If you don't mind, I'd just as soon not discuss this in front of this money-grubbing blackmailer, especially when he's ogling you like a bitch in heat."

John (to Will): "After all, I mean, if Doc and I can battle the Devil and come out on top, I think you and Sonny can sure as hell handle Leo."

Xander (to Sarah): "You're new here. We're not, uh, related, are we?"

Ted: "Maybe the detectives at the Salem PD would be a little bit more successful if they didn't jump to conclusions without any evidence."

Eli: "Salem's starting to look like The Walking Dead."

Rex: "I'm an idiot. That's the bottom line. I don't deny that."

Sonny: "Rex uprooted his entire life to come back and win you over?"
Sarah: "Apparently, he can't live without me."
Sonny: "Well, what did you say!?"
Sarah: "Something along the lines of, 'Go to hell.'"

The extras during the Rex and Sarah slap-down were everything! I'm talking about the red-haired woman and the bearded man behind Sarah. They cracked me up. Like, those pub patrons got dinner and a show. And judging from their looks, they loved it!

I laughed out loud when Abe said to Trask, "Hope Brady is an excellent commissioner." Oh, Abe. You're hilarious. If mayoring doesn't work out, try stand up.

If Gabi really wants to get revenge, maybe she could convince Leo to put on a wig and meet Stefan. Leo seems easily aroused, and Stefan doesn't seem all that weirded out by strange bedfellows. It would be a match made in, err, well, somewhere.

Is it bad that I want Noelle to appear on-screen just to give Liz Chandler (Gloria Loring) a reason to visit Salem!?

At first, I was like, what!? Then I remembered. Yes! Xander did live in Sarah's place in Nashville. Carry on.

Shelia should have snagged those Sade tickets and taken Leo!

No, really, who is this eager Spectator intern? Please be Rory. Please be Rory.

I need a Hattie fix.

Maybe Brandon and Austin can visit Sami, too.

I hope Rex brought that orange juice with him. Use a glass, bro. Eric doesn't need whatever communicable diseases you might be carrying.

J.J.'s place is like a house for wayward women. He even clothes and feeds them. Truth be told, I liked version one with Theresa better.

I can't believe John and Marlena were at Doug's Place! I thought they only went to the pub. Like, all the time.

I get why Sarah thought Rex inviting Eric out to celebrate was in poor-ish taste because of the Nicole/Xander angle, but there's also the fact that Rex invited his alcoholic brother out for drinks.

Laurisa is the Two Scooper with more of an eye for fashion, but I'm pretty sure Gabi's shoes would fall under epic.

Leo's "Uncle Vic" is hysterical.

Also funny, Leo calling out Sonny on his "questionable wardrobe." Well. Now that you mention it...

In fairness, Sonny can be funny, too! I loved his text to Will in which he called Leo "Voldemort." Ha!

Dang. Kayla leaves very long voicemails. I legit thought she was talking to Steve.

Sleazy Stefan asked Ted, "Who's better -- Kate or Hope? You can tell me." Was I the only one who responded to my TV, "Actually, Rafe can!"? Eww.

So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of January 21. Laurisa is back next week with an all-new Two Scoops and, hopefully, better news on the dating front in Salem! And, "That's a fact!"

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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