With the bulk of the Abe storyline wrapped up, this week felt like a return to a normal DAYS week. A lot of storylines got screentime, meaning we got to check in with a good number of our buddies.
Let's talk about the double wedding first. I don't know what kind of acoustics the DiMansion has built in, but you would have sworn there were more than nine total people in that room. Maybe there's always extra sound piped in, which explains why you can walk in on a secret confession and not hear a thing.
Anyway, as far as Salem weddings go, this might be the most successful ever! Both couples in the double wedding said, "I do." No one was shot. No secret was revealed. And at least one of the couples actually wanted to marry each other. It was cute how happy Rafe and Jada were for Gabi. Stefan's no prize, but this was more about Gabi being someone's first choice, and that someone being hers.
But not every couple was so happy. Abe finally got to leave the hospital. It's real-life ridiculous for Theo to leave when Abe doesn't have his memory back. But in soapland, it makes perfect sense. What didn't make sense was Marlena not telling Paulina all about RoboJohn and Mar's own experience being in this exact position. Instead, Marlena just left her with a light doctor's suggestion to not come on too strong.
Paulina took that advice to heart. Wait. No, she didn't. She tried her best, though, and lasted about five minutes until she put the pressure on Abe to remember. Abe, understandably, doesn't feel super comfortable living alone with a woman claiming to be his wife. So, it makes a ton of sense that he asked Steve for a place to stay. And while I don't like to see my Paulina get her heart broken, I kind of understand why Abe didn't tell her he was leaving until a witness...errr, Steve was there.
In other news, I'm starting to see why Melinda was so grumpy all the time. She solves mysteries super fast but is forced to work with those dolts at the Salem PD. She figured out that Eric is the father of Nicole's baby and that Sloan switched the test results. All it took was a plate of fried pickles, a milkshake, and a martini.
Furthermore, I love Melinda and Sloan as friends! Their rough edges actually work well together. I don't think the show needed to put in the line about how they're becoming friends. I would have believed they've been buddies all along. Almost every Law and Order episode has that scene where the defense attorney has drinks with the prosecutor after cases. We accept this as gospel now.
Plus, Melinda knows a little something about paternity secrets herself. Melinda let her daughter grow up thinking she was Melinda's sister. Given the same circumstances, I think she'd make the same decision again.
That leaves one of the fab four to find out next. I can see it being E.J. Surely, the private plane doctor knows the results of the tests. I can't imagine she'd want to appear like she's an accessory to a plot to dupe a DiMera into thinking he's a father. Ron's very good at writing umbrella storylines, so I doubt the secret stops here.
For now, Nicole still thinks she's pregnant with E.J.'s baby. I worry that the little Eric baby growing inside her may already be causing her to become less savvy, because Nicole didn't think it was anything more than an inconvenience that Sloan ended up with Nicole's open test results. What in the world, Nicole?! Have you seen the show before? Did you watch yourself in any part of the 1990s or early 2000s?
That move was so bizarre that the Former Father Eric Brady thought it odd enough to bring it up to Sloan. Of course, she's such a skilled manipulator that she spun it around so Eric apologized to her and proposed to her, as one does when one is a middle-aged man still looking for the second serious relationship of his life.
Are we shocked at all that after one conversation with Rachel, a sworn officer of the court was gaslit to think that Kristen is an appropriate parent and Brady should lose custody and basically all access to his kid? Look, I know that I'm supposed to feel sorry for Brady, but I say break out the non-alcoholic champagne and celebrate. Brady is better off without both of those nuts in his life. Mazel tov, Bradster.
I'll take every chance to see Kassie DePaiva! I loved that Eve mentioned Shane, Kim, Theresa, and Tate. Here's hoping we get to see her trip to California...psst, Beyond Salem 3!
I kind of think that Stephanie is so secure in her relationship with Chad that she doesn't worry about Alex constantly hitting on her. I also think Alex is too privileged and dumb to be malicious here. But I can see why Chad is getting fed up with it. Pretty soon, he's going to give Stephanie an ultimatum, and I can't say I blame him. This dude wants his girlfriend and his Chinese food leftovers to himself.
I'm starting to think Dimitri might actually have more than a magical penis. His mother majored in brainwashing, and I'm wondering if this little poisoned apple learned something from the tree. How else can we explain that both Gwen and Leo felt like they had a boyfriend after just one encounter with the man? The two faux relationships are really the least interesting part of this. We need to get back to the money and the crazy mama, please and thank you.
Tripp and Wendy are both genuinely nice people, so it will probably be okay. But I can't think of anything more awkward than dating your roommate. The person you're just starting to date is right next to you or in the other room. All. The. Time.
But then again, Chloe and Xander are making it work so well that he proposed. (Cue Nicole's "what?!" It's applicable here.) Look, I like Chloe and Xander. But this seems to be out of left field. I very much believe Xander was genuinely happy for Gwen, and I don't think he's holding out hope that he and Sarah will reconcile. However, I've seen nothing that indicates that Chloe and Xander are near the engagement point.
Colin was sentenced to 20 years in prison. That seems light, honestly. Before he went to jail, he got in one more jab at his abuse victim and said Talia should be in jail, too. This guy. What a peach. It's not that Talia shouldn't deserve some punishment, too, but his "what-about-ism" is exhausting. Bye, Colin. Don't hurry back.
Roman was on fire this week. Aside from when he came back from the dead, this might have been his most successful week in Salem. First, Roman rightly read Eric the riot act about Sloan -- she did terrorize Paulina! It is partly her brother's fault that Abe has amnesia. Second, he correctly summarized Eric's relationship with Sloan. ("Sloan is a rebound of a rebound that became a baby mama.") Then, he masterfully reframed his feedback to Eric so that he was happy for Eric and the baby but sidestepped any mentions of Sloan. Finally, he managed to capture the actual problem with Kate lying to him. ("My baby sister knew my wife was running around town, ordering hits?") Go, Ro, go!
It kind of goes along with the "Hot," but I'm really sick of Eric stomping his feet and acting all indignant when people don't shoot off confetti guns when he announces that he and Sloan are pregnant. Eric's clearly blinded by his own pain and rejection from everything that's happened this last year. And, sure, it's probably nice to spend time with someone who doesn't know his family or past. But my dude hasn't been able to read any room he's walked into over the last six months. Have some self-awareness, Former Padre. I'm pleading with you!
LINE OF THE WEEK:
Abe (via Theo): "It's okay to be afraid. That's what keeps us alive. But don't let being afraid keep you from living."
Roman (to Eric): "Don't go away mad."
Me: "Just go away."
Thank you for putting the comma in the correct place on your sign, Paulina. I knew I liked you.
Chanel was a vision in purple.
Where in the world is Chelsea?! Not only could she be there for Theo to comfort him, but she could seriously be there for Shawn. Chelsea knows what it's like to have to grapple with unintentionally causing a family member harm. Only, unlike Zach (who is dead-dead), Bo is alive. Shawn's sister could do a ton of good right now.
I need to know what catfish nachos taste like.
Abe's cream sweater with brown lining and a matching brown/white striped shirt was great.
Could Wendy and Tripp manage as the next gen Steve and Kayla. Only in this case, Wendy is the Steve, and Tripp is the Kayla. He's even already a doctor! It works! Tripp is Sweetness 2.0!!
I enjoyed Kristen snacking during the entire wedding.
The exhausted/exasperated "what" that Nicole delivered after finding out Eric was going to propose to Sloan might be my favorite moment in recent DAYS history. I want that moment captured and added to my personal soundboard to deploy at various moments in my own life. It was chef's-kiss brilliant.
I thought John was going to start singing a round of "'Cause we're the three best friends that anyone could have!" in Abe's room.
Hey, Leo -- crawling into bed with someone who didn't give you consent is NOT OKAY.
There's a very believable reality where Brady could say that he didn't have his child kidnapped. He had his brother watch his daughter for a night, which, as the parent with full custody, he had every right to do.
Ha! Let the record show that Sami stuck up a bit for Sloan on the phone with Marlena.
I really do love Wendy/Li scenes. They are delightful together.
Finally, the pieces have been falling into place over the past weeks -- the Phillip mentions and now Maggie's plea for Xander to make peace with Victor -- that indicate we're probably coming up on the Victor farewell. I hope we all can hold onto each other and get through this together. As Maggie says, that's what families do.
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