You know the phrase well. It's the famous rebuttal of parents worldwide who need to end an argument with a kid. And, it's brilliant. There's no comeback or negotiation strategy known to man. It's a pure declaration of ultimate power, and the loser must just hang her head in defeat and walk away.
Sometimes a Miss Piggy style "Hmmmmph!" helps. Sometimes, talking about it among fellow DAYS fans helps too. Here we go.
E.J., SAMI, and RAFE
I consulted my soap opera abacus and calculated that approximately 28.7 month's worth of storylines happened in one week. E.J. blackmailed Rafe to stay away from Sami. Sami kissed both men. Sami overheard a conversation on her first try. Chad gave up E.J.'s leverage. And BAM! Sami and Rafe ran towards each other like they missed their date atop the Empire State Building.
It was proof that soap opera whiplash is a real and painful thing. We should all probably decide on a ribbon color and start an awareness campaign.
Seriously, this pacing last week was bananas. Before I could figure out why it was such a big deal that E.J. blackmailed Rafe into saying the same things that Rafe has already been saying on his own for weeks, I had to start wondering why Sami assumed that Rafe would obviously protect his sister when Rafe threw Arianna under the bus for Sami so easily before.
Then, I had to think of something humorous to say to help ease the pain of every single other fan base in DAYS history that had to watch Sami and Rafe be united in record time while their couple was left to simmer for ages. Um, um, Sami had to wear an unflattering braid while doing it all? That seems, uh, fair.
Sorry, I've got nothing on this one. Sami and Rafe are immediately back together "because I said so." That's the only reason.
And before we start arguing about Safe vs. Ejami, I've got to say that I'm just flat out concerns about Sami that I took to my blog to kvetch about further. Follow along if you dare.
CHAD and E.J.
I do think that E.J. meant to help Chad. That's why E.J. showed up at Daniel's apartment. But, Chad was clearly not E.J.'s priority. I didn't like that. Lexie wouldn't either. It was very much a Stefano move. I'm glad that Chad realized that and called E.J. on it. Despite Sami giving E.J. a piece of her mind, it may be Chad who cut E.J. the deepest.
Side note, how cute is it that Chad called Sami, "Ms. Brady?" Even on the edge of madness, the guy still has manners. Gotta love that!
BO and HOPE
To the surprise of precisely no one, Bo decided to leave the force. He's going to take his pension now and move onto better things with Hope's full support. I suppose it's noble that they threw in the part about Bo resigning in order to save the jobs of the younger detectives. But, I can't help but hope there is more to Peter Reckell's storyline than this.
JENNIFER and DANIEL
Jennifer and Daniel care a lot more about each other than they're admitting. In case you doubted, just ask Brady, Maggie, or Abigail. They'll be glad to fill you in. Just don't mention it to Nicole or you might get called a creampuff. Burn!
First, if Jennifer doesn't want Nicole to keep playing on Jennifer's emotions, then Jennifer might want to stop having emotional break-downs in front of Nicole. Nicole is just too good at manipulating people for Jennifer to make it that easy.
Second, I'm glad that Daniel admitted lying to Jennifer in hopes that she'd back off. I was having a hard time believing that Daniel felt used. (Seriously, is the guy even capable of that feeling?) And while I usually hate Jennifer's busy-body-ness, Daniel desperately needed to hear everything she said. He obviously wasn't listening to me every time I screamed at my TV.
But I still don't know how I feel about Daniel and Jennifer this time around. I enjoyed them last time. I thought they had actual substance between the two of them thanks to going through the whole Carly addiction stuff together.
But, I just don't see fans ever getting to a point where they don't blame Daniel for how TPTB treated Matt Ashford and Jack. That's going to be a big problem for the writers. But, again, they're playing the "Because I said so" card and we're all supposed to forget about Jack and move onto Daniel and Jennifer. Sure. That transition should be super smooth. Line up the cover of TIME for these two!
I'll give Nicole this -- the gal is committed. She'll use anything to land her man including but not limited to: Jack's memory, Laura's mental illness, making people swear to her unborn baby, and discovering crazy laws in Utah about which I hope someone emails me and tells me aren't true.
Sorry, I'm burying the lead. Nicole lost her baby. *Sigh.* I say this as one of the biggest Nicole fans ever, but it is a little difficult to feel sorry for her this time. Yes, I realize the preposterous cruelty is even being able to use the phrase "this time" when referencing a miscarriage. But, Nicole never put her child before her own agenda. She used the baby first to hurt E.J. and then to trap Daniel. The cry of, "My little Danny!" snapped me back to reality. It's not that I don't understand why she's heartbroken. It's just that I don't feel heartbroken for her.
Another reason is that this pregnancy never made sense. After her first miracle baby, we were told that even if Nicole would get pregnant again, she would never be able to carry a baby to term. This loss holds true to storyline integrity and I can appreciate that from a literary standpoint.
But, the main reason is I don't feel bad for her is because I'm not convinced that Nicole actually lost her baby. Let's review the facts.
Nicole has been hiding her baby from E.J.. Stefano, who is beyond eager to win favor back with E.J., has also been missing for a while. Three weeks before Nicole was to deliver this baby, she saw a new doctor, who was scheduled to leave the country immediately after Nicole's appointment. This doctor told Nicole that the baby was dead and that Nicole needed to induce labor within 24 hours. This doctor promises to have a nurse call Nicole to schedule the appointment. Coincidentally, the power mysteriously went out in the ER. Finally, Stefano called E.J. at this exact time.
I have no information to back up my theory. I just don't feel like this is all over yet. But, I've been wrong a bunch of times. Just ask around.
NICK, GABI, and CHAD
Gabi spend a good deal of the week worrying that she wouldn't survive in prison. Yes, it would be very unfair for anyone to be kept in a small room with only a bed and no windows. Why don't we ask Melanie about that, huh Gabs?
Ugh. I truly believe that Gabi is sorry for what happened to Melanie, and I don't think that Gabi is a monster. But, I've had it with Gabi's inability to grasp how much blame she actually deserves. And, nothing illustrates my point better than the fact that Gabi has yet to confess to what she said on Andrew's recording. You know, the whole, "Keep Melanie and make sure she doesn't escape again" thing. It's a brain lapse on the writers' part brought about by the fact that Gabi's last name is Hernandez and the Hernandi are never wrong. (Bitter, party of one!)
It didn't matter, of course, because Nick blackmailed Chad into not going to the cops in exchange for Nick not going to the cops and filing assault charges against Chad. I am worried for Nick. First, committing perjury while out on parole can't be a good thing. Second, Nick appeared to be repeating his pattern of falling way too hard and fast for a lady. He seemed to be worried about that kiss too.
For his part, Chad was super ticked. I don't blame him. No, he shouldn't have put his hands on Nick. But, when Brady beat up E.J. over Arianna, people including Daniel, Melanie, and Maggie covered up the crime for him. Yet, those exact same people demonized Chad for it. I have a bad feeling that Chad's going to fall even deeper. Good thing his "big sis" is coming back to town next week!
ABIGAIL and JENNIFER
I was really irritated when I first saw Abigail and Jennifer's scene. The direct quote from my notes was, "Really? I guess Jack's mother wasn't available to lead the Daniel parade down Jennifer Ave."
But, the more I thought about it, the more I reluctantly agreed with what Abigail said. Jack would want Jennifer to move on and be happy. I know that because when Jack thought that he was going to die, he schemed to set Jennifer up with Frankie so that Jennifer would have someone in her life after he was gone. So, while I still don't like the fact that Jack is gone, I do believe he'd be supportive of Jennifer and Daniel. I know, it sounds crazy, but that's just Jack. (Yup, did the face and jazz hands after I typed that.)
One time, I put my sister in the washer. (I didn't fill it, and I just wanted to see if she'd fit!) I immediately went to my mom and told her, "I did not put Bethany in the washer!" My mom saw right through that one. And just like my mom, Justin is very smart. So I would have liked to see how Nick and Chad managed to convince Salem's current MVP to take false depositions about crimes that "didn't" happen. (Aside: Exactly how does one give a deposition in a non-existent case?)
Will made a strange visit to Rafe's loft to make nice with Rafe. I hope Will did it out of concern for Sami and not just because we needed another person in Salem saying how great Rafe is. If the latter is the case, I nominate Carrie for the job.
I understood why Maggie was standing up for Daniel. But, the fact that she took on Jennifer irritated me a lot because Maggie and Jennifer have a bond that's just much more developed than Maggie and Daniel's. Sorry. Even the great Suzanne Rogers didn't have enough class to pull off that scene.
Nicole tried to out-smarm Maxine. Nicole did not win.
Caroline kept forgetting things all week. Then, she mistakenly called Bo, "Roman." I supposed this is a sign that Caroline might have something wrong with her brain. Although, if calling kids by the wrong names was a sign of mental illness, my own mother should have been committed when I was about eight years old.
Abigail met a cute surgical intern at the Brady Pub, who also ended up being Cameron's date. Dang. Cameron totally won that breakup. Is it wrong that I wished Sonny was there for Abigail instead of Gabi?
Victor surprised Maggie with brunch in an attempt to cheer her up. Take note, fellas. We ladies are suckers for a good meal.
Blake Berris's stellar portrayal of Nick: Boy Interrupted continued. Nick seemed fine enough to function in Caroline's dish room. But we still don't know what will happen when Nick is out in the real world. Let's not forget that this academically gifted chap has been an associate professor and even a father in his past stint on the show. Thanks to Blake's mysterious performances, we still don't know how much of the old Nick is still left in there. Well done, sir.
While TPTB seem to be auditioning both Daniel and Rafe to fill Bo's shoes once Bo leaves, I'm left wondering why this is even a discussion. That title should go directly to Brady Black. He's a tenured character with a good backstory and legitimate roots in Salem. Yet, he's relegated to errand boy for Rafe and Daniel's storyline. Huge mistake.
LINE OF THE WEEK:
Caroline (to Jennifer): "I'll take you to the pub. If you're a good girl, I'll give you a shot of rum in your tea." Oh, Caroline, can I come over too?
I wonder what Dario would think of what Gabi did to Melanie.
Nick's scar looked pretty wonky.
Why did Rafe stop on his way home from the pub to change from his black shirt into that plaid one?
I kinda love that Ciara calls Maggie, "Grandma Maggie."
Who's the mayor of Salem right now?
I would have thought that Sami would have taken down the family picture with Rafe when she was dating Lucas. Maybe her top drawer is just filled with pictures of her family with different men so that she can set the right one out at the appropriate time.
Maggie is going to regret giving Nick the nudge towards Gabi when she realizes what Gabi did to Melanie.
And, as a Nicole fan, I've said all along that her storyline needs to be an adoption story. She knows better than anyone what it means to love a child regardless of DNA. Plus, if she adopts a baby as a single mom, she can literally pick whomever she'd like to be the dad.
Caroline mentioned Shawn D and Chelsea! Wahoo!
I've had a lot of people sending me their ideas of how Sami will react when she finds out that Rafe isn't Nicole's baby daddy. I just know that she'll be relieved that they didn't sleep together and strike up the Rafe pep band. But, I really think that she should be be hurt by the fact that Rafe white-knighted up for Nicole. Rafe and Nicole are having a much more intimate relationship now than they would if they'd had a one-night stand. Sami, of all people, should realize that. How did she and Lucas end up together, after all?
Gabi and Nicole shared a scene, and it reminded me that Gabi should probably have been bending over backwards to throw a shower and plan for Nicole's baby, a.k.a. "Gabi's nephew."
And now I'm going to get out of the way before Tony runs me over with the welcome mat he's rolling out for Kristen's return. In case you didn't know, she arrives next week. Until then, click here to let me know your thoughts on a few things: Do you think that Rafe is really okay with Nick helping Gabi? Will Caroline's paternity hiding/computer hacking skills be put to use again in Nicole's storyline? What will Sami apologize to Rafe for next? My money is on breathing too often. And, does any of this really matter since Kristen (and probably Stefano!) are both on their way back to Salem?