I love this time of year! I do. The fall crispness in the air. Colorful leaves. Pumpkin-flavored everything. Dreams of discounted Halloween candy on the first. And, of course, the storyline setups for November Sweeps in Salem, USA.
Since last week was like a plastic jack-o'-lantern filled with a little bit of this and a little bit of that, this week's column is going to be just as random. Some plots are peanut buttery chocolate bliss. Some are delicious nuggets. Some are too sweet. Some are sour. Some are a hard pass. I mean, thanks for the Werther's Original. I'll keep that in my cardigan for later. Anyway. Let's reach our hand into old Jack O. Lantern and see what we pull out as we march toward Sweeps!
Monday's episode was nothing short of spectacular. Well, mostly. I mean, really, Belle! Really? You took the case. Psshaw.
Yep. The scenes in Nashville were remarkable, and I enjoyed the Roman/Rex catch-up. Let's focus on Music City, USA, first. There were showdowns and blowups. More specifically, the warehouse where several Salemites and many dead-not-dead characters were residing blew up. Like, it blew up a lot. Several blasts. It was tense, to say the least. In the end, it was reported that there were no survivors. Right.
Cue Destiny's Child, because I suspect Nicole, Kristen, and Xander will be crooning "I'm a survivor" soon enough. I mean, it's DAYS. Deaths don't mean dead in Salem, and if I didn't believe that, I'd be rolling around on my floor, gripping a bottle of Laphroaig and a pint of gelato, and ugly crying while screaming, "Why Nicole!? Why, Soap Gods. Why!?" But I'm not. Simmer down, Eric. We'll get our girl back. Have faith.
Oh. And Sami has faith that she's found E.J. Or has she!? Mystery Man was badly burned and is wrapped up like a mummy or like how John was when he returned to Salem as Roman way back when. Ah, the Pawn. Anywho. Sami found E.J. Maybe. DAYS is toying with us right now. The payoff better be good. By "good," I mean E.J. Still, I'm not holding my breath. There were a lot of initials on a lot of doors, so, really, Mystery Mummy could be any male in Salem who's supposedly "died." My nerves can't take much more.
Though I'm beginning to second-guess Dr. Rolf's genetic magic. Is "Resurrection" by Wilhelm really a miracle drug, or was Nicole pushing Oracular Babe Holly past all those neatly initialed doorways, making those not-so-dead-dead Salemites bounce back from the great soap beyond? Hmm.
Regarding Baby H being brought into a, let's say, freaking dangerous situation, remember that line from Sweet Home Alabama where Reese Witherspoon's character says to an old friend, "Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar." Yeah. That. I kind of want to change it to, "Look at you, Nicole, you have a baby...in an evil lair." *shaking my head*
Meanwhile, back in Salem...
I appreciated Belle and Mimi's stroll down Memory Lane. Then it made me think. Things weren't always blissful between 'Tink and the Meems. Could Belle be promising Mimi a custody case miracle to lure her into a false sense of hope? I mean, Mimi did some narsty stuff to Belle when she wanted to be with Shawn-D. Has Belle let bygones be bygones, or will she take her former bestie on a ride on Revenge Road? Hmm.
Yes, Chloe. Yes, honey. So much yes. She's put together that Mimi is the mama of Baby Bon Bon. Again, "Yes!" I am all in on Team Chloe, and if Bonnie doesn't think she's smart enough to put that two and two together, she can just ask El Noodle. Oh, wait. Chloe shanked that sucker. Go get 'em, Chloe.
I always enjoy a Kate and Gabi scene, but last week's felt a little more "rehash" than "refreshing." Sure, sure. Standard Sweeps setup stuff. Oh, well. At least there was wine.
Drats! She was talking about Lucas and Big Bonnie's blitzed boom-boom, but Chloe stole my Two Scoops write-up on Stefan's dream about "Gabby." She said, "Okay. That's gross. Just stop." Word, Chloemeister. Word.
In a twist crazier than the crazy Abigail's loved ones think she's gone, hello! Abigail married Stefan!? I screamed "What the what!?" into my pumpkinccino. But how!? I think I know the why. But why!? Why? Now I really may start to ugly cry.
I wonder who Rex's fiancée will turn out to be...
Oh, hey! Sarah Horton is back in Salem. Finally. And she looks great for her de-age.
Rex said to Kate that he's dated his fiancée for a year. Baby Bonkers, err, Bonnie was born ten-ish or so-ish months ago? So, Rex and "Guess Who!?" were barely dating when they took their first time out. That sounds like a solid start. These kids will surely make it. #notheywont
Conversely, Rex should to saddle up next to Rafe and learn the rules of a relationship "time out."
Cassie Brady Update: She's happily single and not ready to mingle in Salem again just yet. Stay tuned for more. Maybe. It took a good decade to get that much.
Shelia asked Abe, "What is it with you and this parking spot!?" Right. Parking wars does not Sweeps make. Just saying.
Yes. I buried the lead. Shelia will be working with Abe and around Eli and Lani. "Yes!" said no one involved. At least Shelia will be entertaining. There's that.
Ah, Paul. You and Will are moving in together. That's nice. A word of advice, though: don't unpack.
I get it, Mar Mar. I get it. I finally get why she wants to hang onto John. He must have the biggest set of hourglasses in Salem because asking Roman to "woo" Hattie so he can have his "happily ever after" with Marlena takes them. That all was a little uncomfortable, but I come from the school of Roman and Marlena (version one). And unlike Sami, I still have troubles forgiving John now and then, especially now, actually, after his recent "Poison the Patchman" one-man show. Ah, at least Roman got an old baseball card out of the deal. That will keep him warm at night.
Not to select a redundant "HOT," but, dayam, Greg Vaughan is amazing. Just thoroughly and utterly amazing. My hat is tipped to you, good sir.
Remember when Belle was such a "by the books" lawyer, so much so that she fought against the rest of her family to honor her mother's wishes to yank the cord? Yep. I remember that, too. Drop Meems, 'Tink. This case is not a good look for you.
LINE OF THE WEEK
Rex: "By the way, I spoke with Cassie, and I tried to get her to come back to Salem, but she was a little, umm, hesitant because the last time she was here, she was stabbed and stuffed into a Thanksgiving piñata."
HONORABLE MENTIONS LINES OF THE WEEK
Julie (to Eli, regarding Shelia): "What happened between The Crab Bucket and dusting Maggie's tchotchkes?"
Hattie (to Bonnie, regarding inmate Coco): "She's alive, but she's so boring, how can you tell the difference?"
Rex (to Mimi, regarding the baby): "I promise I won't sneeze on her."
Roman (to Rex, on looking more Brady than Roberts): "I don't see any blue streak in your hair."
MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS
Kayla said of Steve, "It wasn't him. It was his bionic eye." Man. If I had a dollar for every time I used that old line.
Speaking of lines I've used, Bonnie said, "I've had one. Ish." You and me both, gal.
Is it weird to anyone else that Marlena knew about Nicole's death, but Maggie hasn't learned of it yet?
Rex is coming off a little Hugh Grant. Awkward, but adorable. Was he like that before? I just remember his silver trunks and, like, a thousand abs. I kid, I kid.
Will and Sonny are sweet. I miss the days of someone calling me just because they wanted to hear my voice. Nowadays, I usually hear, "Shut up."
It's still a bit jolting when Kate says things like, "I don't see any good in any of this." That's like if Elizabeth Taylor had said, "Marry you? Maybe we should just date a while." These things just don't happen.
Kristen told Brady, "You will regret this one day." Not many Salemites keep a promise, but I'm pretty sure Kristen meant that. Monsieur Noir might want to toss some salt over his shoulder and sleep with the lights on.
I want Maggie and Paul to face off in a "Cheeriness" contest, as both are usually brimming with positivity.
If Maggie and Paul meet for a "Peppy Off," maybe Julie and Abe should meet for a "Snide Off." Hearing Abe say things like "That person" and "Watkins Person" is so not the Abe I've grown to love and respect. Stop it, Mayor Carver. You're better than that. Hearing Julie say those things, well, I mean, I call that a normal Wednesday for her. Moving on.
Ah, the Gemini meteor shower. Rex said, "I cringe every time I think about the grand entrance." As Michael J. would sing, "You are not alone."
There was interesting juxtaposing between the Marlena/Kayla chat and the Hattie/Bonnie catch-up. It was like ladies lunching at the country club versus ladies' night at the Cheatin' Heart. I miss that place.
I could watch Greg Vaughan, Alison Sweeney, and Eric Martsolf scenes all day. Really. All. Day. So much talent.
You can tell Gabi is still a bit green in the devious department. She told Kate that she texted, emailed, and called. Girl, please. Don't leave a paper trail! That's one of the first lessons in Revenge Plotting 101.
While Bonnie is bothersome, she does have some amazing zingers. I chuckled at her calling Chloe a "Fembot."
Cheers to Melissa Reeves for gripping performances! She does a mother's heartache like few others. I wanted to give Jen a hug.
I want to create an audio flashcard of Eric's "No, you shut up!" and "You're a son of a bitch!" to hold up and play when someone annoys me.
Another audio flashcard I want is Abe saying, "The answer is no. Actually, make that hell no."
Oracular Babe Holly and Baby Bon Appetit are total cuteness overload.
Lucas and Paul should sit in the square and talk about how happy they are because that conversation will most likely last longer than their bliss. Sorry, guys.
I'll forgive Rex for not visiting sooner if he brings me mint chocolates, too. Oh, oh. And if he can score me Lucas' leather jacket, as well... hmm, maybe we'll be besties.
The color blue needs to send Nadia Bjorlin a thank you card for making it look so fabulous. #radiant
The Kristen and Xander team-up with a side of Dr. Rolf was a bit epic. Nobody can fill Stefano's shoes, but good baddies like them are a nice foot forward to the future of evil in Salem. More, please.
My heart skips a beat and breaks a little at the same time when we get Lexie mentions.
Also heartbreaking is remembering that Marci Miller is leaving soon. She is such an amazing actress. Last week, well, she amazed again. Viva la Killer Miller!
Paul said he wanted some "real air," but isn't the Horton Town Square enclosed?
Did I miss a subplot where Jennifer is auditioning for a revival of the musical Hair? I'm legit not sure if I think her style lately is "retro chic" or "retro eek." Discuss!
Julie said she believes in second chances. Really, Jules. Really? It was a bit hard to take her seriously at that moment amidst the snobbery toward ex-cons.
I kind of enjoyed Dr. Rolf calling Kristen "Madame DiMera."
Please, oh, please, Soap Gods. Please unleash Kate on Bonnie and Mimi. Please!
I'm jealous. I dream of a relaxing day like the one Hattie had. Reading The Intruder, catching up with friends over snacks and booze, and then getting to flirt with your heart's desire who brings you Buddy's Burger Barn? That's a win. Sans the puking part, of course.
D.J. Ari G wants to play the drums. Well, Paul. There's your revenge on Will and Sonny. and you didn't even have to lift a finger.
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of October 29. Laurisa will be back next week to Two-Scoop on what's gone bump in the night as Salem celebrates Halloween and the beginning of November Sweeps! And, "That's a fact!"
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