This column might be hard to read over the roar of jubilant Jack and Jennifer fans. It happened. He remembered. He remembered everything. Jack -- the "For Real" version -- is back!
Now. Now. I have a confession to make. With very, very...very few exceptions, I hate reality TV. I do. I really do. I could do an entire article ranting about my grand detest for the genre and my personal exasperating experiences with it -- looking at you Snooki and Jwoww. You know what you did -- but I won't.
With that said, I once had a roommate who
enjoyed watched Wife Swap. Occasionally, I'd concede, and we'd watch together. I gave zero flips about the couples, but I did love the moment when they started to crank Maxine Nightingale's "Right Back Where We Started From," and the seedy separated spouses would reunite. Not only did it indicate the show was almost over, but I love that song. And now Jack and Jennifer are together again and proved that "a love like theirs can never fade away. It's only just begun." Swoon. Just swoon. That's the soundtrack, folks.
Of course, before all that happened and I set their reunion to Maxine's anthem in my head, we had to deal with Henry Shah. Oh, Henry! It was a weird candy bar name and, now, an even weirder dude on DAYS. Basically, Ron threw some mommy issues into the Liam Frasier crazy cocktail recipe, and we got Henry Shah. I really don't have much to say except a disappointed, "Oh, Henry." Indeed.
While Psycho Shah may end up a forgettable Salem speedbump (or in five or so years, the new crazy du jour might be known as "Henry Lite" or "Liam 3.Eh"), I loved seeing Jennifer battle him, nonetheless. She was not backing down. Plucky, passionate Jennifer is the best version. Hands down. Sure, she was scared, but she was also smart and not having it, Henry. You lose, fool.
Still, the search for Jennifer proved to be pivotal. It got Jack and J.J. on the same page. They needed that. Like, guys, Matthew Ashford and Casey Moss can do little wrong in my book. I adore them. They have a great father/son charm. And what's next for them has me even more eager to tune in.
Casey, especially, played the part perfectly. J.J.'s hurt that he hadn't been reunited with his real-real father and was harmed by the one who came back was ever present. Yet there was always a glimpse of hope (that often turned into disappointment) there. Casey's layered performances were nuanced and brilliant. I can't wait for J.J. to hear the news about Jack, though I'm okay if Jack stays put on that park bench with Jennifer for a little while longer.
Yes. That scene! It was clear the old chemistry between Matt Ashford and Melissa Reeves is still there. It just works. All of it. Then he said, "Jennifer. Stop talking," and they kissed. Again, swoon. Just swoon. I hope that Ron has an exciting storyline in store for these two that utilizes their special knack for banter, fun, action, adventure, and overall Jack and Jennifer-ness.
As we started "Season 55" of DAYS last Monday, I took a beat to reflect, and I still think Ron Carlivati is brilliant. He's successfully moved DAYS away from the utter gloom and doom that Higley soul-crushed us with. He's taken some pages out of James E. Reilly's bizarre book. He's tossed in a certain '90s primetime soap feel to the show that I can't entirely explain, but it's there. He also loves to dig into the DAYS history books. He's finally done doing damage control, and his vision of DAYS is becoming clearer and clearer. For one, you can tell he loves his job. He definitely enjoys his divas and camp, too. And the man can tell an umbrella storyline like very few others. I'm eager to see what he comes up with next. With that...
In Ron's Salem, am I surprised a, well, 35-year-old-plus, reproductively challenged Kristen has gotten pregnant? Nope. Nah. Not at all. Hey. It was explained. Dr. Rolf performed some fertility treatments on her in Nashville. Yep. The mad scientist who can bring people back to life can also help with pregnancy. Now, if he can come up with a way to easily fold fitted sheets, I may make an appointment.
I enjoy Sarah and Brady as buddies. She's not afraid to smack him with some hard truths or squirt him with a spray bottle of cold water. He needs a friend like that. Just, you know, don't fall in love too quickly, Brady. You already have two or three loves of your life roaming around Salem, and another being delivered from Amazon on Tuesday.
Now that Nicole's been happy for a few weeks, I think Bryan Dattilo was brought back to fill the guest-star crying role. Poor Lucas. I just wanted to give him a hug. The good news is that Kate is alive! She received Recovery by Wilhelm. It's like Resurrection by Wilhelm but has a citrus hint to it. And it confuses doctors and sons alike. In any event, Kate is back and remembers Viv shot her, and I'm all on board for this eventual showdown.
Of course, Kate's recovery comes at a price. Julie was promised Kate's heart. Whoopsies. Julie's struggling to stay alive after a second heart attack not all brought on by self-induced stress. I get it, lady. I'm struggling to stay interested in this storyline. It's basically a depressing wait-and-see game. Who will die* so Julie can live? Last week, we didn't even have a Doug sighting, and, because of that, I've discovered I care more when Doug's on-screen. Moral of the story: more Doug; less Lani. Actually, lots and lots and lots less Lani.
*By "die," I mean "Salem die." You know. Croak now. Resurrect later.
Oh, lordy. It hurts my head to even think about the favor Julie asked of Maggie. I'm sure it was part of the ruse to get the Jenny Bear truth out of Maggie, but, Oh. Lord. Julie makes it hard sometimes. At this point, I want her to get better for Doug's sake, and then maybe she and Lani can go visit the same recovery center where Theo is while Doug stays in Salem and sings to us.
Okay. Stefan is finally paying for some of his crimes. A little. He's caught in the crossfire of his mother and wife. Eh. What's bad for him is amazing for us. Oh, yes. Please. Vivian vs. Gabi was everything I didn't know I wanted and more! From Viv's "And speaking of hos," to Gabi's, "She's basically my bitch now" line, I wanted to watch that all day. All. Day.
Regarding laughs a minute, Kristen and Dr. Rolf are surely sidesplitting together. The zingers thrown in help the absurdity of the storyline. I meant that as a compliment.
Since we talked about music earlier, let's end with another song that reminds me of a set of Salemites. That is "Crazy Loop" by Dan B?lan. If you guessed from the title, it makes me think of the Jordan/Ben storyline. More so, the Jordan/Ben scenes at this point, as no clear storyline is being set up. It's basically been the same scenes repeated on a crazy loop. Jordan claims she's sane and Ben isn't. Ben doesn't trust her. Ciara stands her ground. Rafe, well, he's been just standing there being all gee-golly "I'm keeping a watchful eye" Rafe-y. And repeat!
Whoomp, there it is! Jack. Jennifer. Memories. Magic. Flashbacks! It's been a wait, but totally worth it. Take a bow, Matt and Melissa. Well, well played!
Not even one Chelsea mention as Kate lay on death's door? Boo. Just boo.
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK: JACK AND JENNIFER EDITION
Jack: "Oh, my God. I -- I remember."
Jennifer: "What do you remember, Jack?"
Jack: "I remember you."
Jennifer: "What!? Are you kidding me!?" You mean, I could have just hit you on the head..."
Jack: "Oh, man, what a life we had."
Jennifer: "No, what a life we have, Jack!"
Jack: "Jennifer. Stop talking."
All together now -- aww!
LINE OF THE WEAK
Jordan: "I didn't murder three people."
Tony (to his TV): "Not for lack of trying! Ugh. I believe that you believe that, Jordan."
TRUE 'DAT LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
Maggie (to Julie): "I see your hospital stay hasn't made you any easier to get along with."
Julie (on peacefulness): "That ain't my style."
EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK
Lucas: "How do I explain to my mother that I almost donated her heart to Julie?"
Will: "I don't know."
Lucas: "She's going to kill us!"
Will: "What do you mean, 'us'?"
I love me some exciting Friday cliffhangers, but it was a very pleasant surprise to have a week with a sweet, happy ending. Thanks again, Jack and Jen.
Does anyone else feel bad for the drycleaner who doesn't put enough starch in Doug's shirts when Julie inspects them upon pickup?
Marlena and Ben scenes are always welcomed. She told him not to engage and to stand down. He isn't listening so much. Something tells me Ben is going to be set up for something bad that he didn't do. Hmm...
On the topic of sage advice, yes, Eric! Listen to Nicole. And think about what your mother would say. Do not engage Sarah or Xander. Stand down. Exes want to believe someone who broke their hearts was eaten by a pack of wild jackals and that they will never have to see that person again. They don't want to watch you protect them like a knight on a white horse while a new princess is at their side. Good intentions, Eric, but bad, bad Eric. Just bad.
Hope may not have verbally responded to Jordan when she apologized for hurting Ciara, but Hope's look said. It. All. Fierce, Fancy Face. Just fierce.
Speaking of responses, Rafe's reaction to Shah being shanked (in self-defense, of course) was unintentionally hilarious. He was basically like, "'Ight. It's coo."
Who shouted, "Yes, you will!" and took a shot when Brady proclaimed of Kristen, "I'll never give that woman another chance."
As much as those Jack and Jen flashbacks were amazing, I'm a little disappointed they didn't sneak in the Mark Valley/Steve Wilder shower switcheroo with Stephanie Cameron as Jennifer. One, that would have been hilarious. Two, we've been robbed of Jack's confused reaction and a "My, we've changed!" response.
Ha! Kristen still called Tater Tot "Christopher." Maybe she'll name the new baby Hash Brown Black.
I wonder if Billie and Cassie have any kind of relationship. You'd think Kate's daughters would have a lot of notes to compare.
Sorry, Ted's next of kin, but you are not getting his security deposit back. Just saying.
I love happy Eric and Nicole. I hope it lasts. "It will, Tony, don't worry," replied nobody.
Mar Mar spoke of Arianna Grace adoring Kate. I kind of want to see those three on a play date. In any event, I was still happy to see Marlena being there for Kate.
Kristen's outfit was the wardrobe equivalent of a mullet: one part professional, one part party. Few could pull that off, but Stacy Haiduk rocked it.
When Will said, "Julie is family, so, that helps," I laughed. Okay, Will. Okay. Just know if Nick needed a heart, she'd rip yours out and give it to him without flinching. You know. "Poor Nick" and all. Rrriiiggghhhttt.
Sarah laughing at Kristen and asking her if she lost her mind was hilarious. Sarah's fearless. I love that about her.
I'm surprised Lani didn't find Jennifer sooner. She knows all the seediest motels in Salem. Don't forget the selfie stick, Lans.
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for September 30! Laurisa is back next week with an all new Two Scoops because I'll be raiding Dr. Rolf's pharmacopeia to see if he has something for all this anxiety I have over baby bombshells and Julie's mouth. And, "That's a fact!"
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