Former firebug in the sky. Sarah's acting high. Take a look. Jake's storyline's about a book? A reading mind-blow. We can go anywhere, but if we keep going with this I feel like, at any moment, Taylor Swift and Brendon Urie could pop in with a, "Hey, kids!" "Reading is fun!" and that might make things weirder, so let's turn the page first to everyone's favorite forgettable twin, Allie Horton.
I kid. I kid. We all remember Allie, but let's be real. If one were to have guessed which of Sami's kids would return to Salem first, I think most of us would have chosen Johnny. He was, I'm not going to say favored -- I'll let you do that dirty work -- but he was certainly more featured back in the day. He's also a DiMera, and the family needs to be rebuilt a bit. But, nope. Not Johnny.
One could also argue Sydney could fill in the DiMera shoes nicely. Like the house of Kiriakis, the Phoenix's place could use some more "Girl Power!" Plus, Nicole and Sydney were, um, tight, so the Walker influence could have still been used. Alas, not Syd, either.
Instead, we got Allie (and Lucas and Sami's looming presence), and I think that was a rather brilliant twist! Ron is a master of zagging when you think he's going to zig. Sans some sordid tidbits here and there over the years, Allie's rather a mysterious clean slate. Well, a clean slate with a baby bump that's raising all sorts of questions...
Laurisa offered a fantastic list last week during Two Scoops as to who the baby's daddy might be. I love this guessing game! While I don't have any specific names to add this week, I do have a theory. Allie begged her papa not to preach because she's keeping her baby but got a little antsy when talking about the baby daddy. When asked about this puzzling papa, she mentioned she's afraid of others' reactions to the father. That led me to utter a big old "Hmm!"
It also got me thinking that the father is someone scandalous (as is usually the soap case, right?). Though this form of scandal might come from the potential father's status or age, I suspect. A professor? One of her parents' colleagues or henchmen? Allie hooking up with someone Sami or Lucas (but probably Sami) hated or an enemy's son would be wowing. Or maybe not an enemy. Maybe an old friend or friend's offspring. Does anyone know if Jamie Caldwell ever had any sons? I repeat, "Hmm!"
For enemy suggestions, I couldn't think of any notable "Lumi" adversaries off the top off my head. Sami and Lucas usually just battled one another when not together or E.J. when they were. Well. I did think of one "Lumi" foe. That's Alan Harris. He was the worst. A rapist and general creep. But I don't think he could father any kids, as Sami shot him in the -- cue Austin Powers "Johnson" jokes.
Speaking of fathers, Lucas and Allie aren't exactly smooth sailing at the moment, and Sami seems to be at least one source of discord. "I'm shocked!" said Nobody. I'd say that Allie has Nicole and Kate in her corner, and that's a duo I would not want to cross. Sorry, Lucas. You might have valid points and all, but these two ladies will steamroll you something fierce and get what they want for Allie. I mean, help defend what Allie wants. Yep. That's it.
Still, I had to laugh when Allie asked, "Why does everyone care about the father?" Umm, ask your father about the importance of paternal knowledge. It's a real thing. Google it, Allie. You're unemployed. You have the time, kiddo.
Meanwhile, across Salem there's a new nefarious foe in town - the Bookworm! Well. He's not exactly in town that we know of, and, well, the Bookworm is a villain from the campy '60s Batman series, but this shoe may end up fitting, so let's put a pin in this for now.
We learned a thing or two about the mob boss after Jake last week. More specifically, about the item said mob boss was after that he thought Jake had, but really, Gwen did. It's a book. And before anyone says anything -- that's at least better than an elephant statue, thankyouverymuch. At least I think it is, so far, anyway. And we did get hilarious scenes between Xander, Ciara, Ben, and Jake. Really, I think Xanimal shocked and impressed them all. Okay. Back on track. So, what we've learned...
One, the book contains names and numbers written in the margins. They're contacts the mob boss wants. Jake took the book as leverage to leave the mob, but Gwen stole it. Got it. I do get this. I do. But instead of wasting years (I think) looking for Jake, couldn't said mob boss just have dark webbed the names and numbers, or perhaps the Black Market has a who's who for the right price little black book. I don't know. Or perhaps the contacts would have reached out in a "I thought we had a deal, eh!" sort of way. Again, I don't know. I'm not in the mob. Nope. Not even a little. But, still, I do want to know whose names and numbers are in there. I bet they include, but aren't limited to, the mean FroYo manager, the man who sells Brady blazers, and the rest of the DiMera board. They have to be elusive and important if Mobby Boss still needs them.
We also learned this particular sect of the mob isn't afraid of the La Famiglia DiMera. Neither horrible henchman Jimmy or Luca seemed to jump when Gabi broke out the infamous name. They're either incredibly naïve, awfully stupid, or (snap!) already on the DiMera payroll. Let's go into the next thing we've learned, as that talks about a possible DiMera connection!
Finally, we found out for sure that the unnamed but ominous mob boss is a man. Minions Jimmy and Luca kept referring to their boss as "he" and "him." So, who is this guy!? I'd still be thrilled with Peter Blake (the DiMera connection), but wouldn't be disappointed in options like former commissioner Lou "Purple" Raines, Eddie or Dario Hernandez, or even Alex Marshall, if DAYS wanted to dig back into the history books. I think it's too soon for Orpheus or Clyde to be the culprit again.
Other names that I noted were a not-so-dead Larry Welch or Shane Donovan's old foe, the Dragon. Larry would get Hope involved, and she needs a storyline, while the Dragon could lure Shane back to Salem. Maybe he and Kimberly could even bring Jeannie-T and Tater Tot to visit, too, but I digress...
Then again, there's that old saying, "Behind every great man, there's a great woman." And didn't Beyoncé school us on who run the world? That's girls, if you weren't paying attention to Queen B. With that said, maybe the mister isn't the most sinister, and his wicked wife is the real mob boss in charge. While a certain madame popped into mind, I also wouldn't be upset if said mobster turned out to be an undead Renée DuMonde. She's a DiMera, she was fiercely played by Philece Sampler, and, with Renée, that might mean Tony and Anna would have to visit Salem again. Win meet win. Crossing fingers in five, four, three, two...
Hold up! We also learned one final-final thing last week. That is, do not be fresh with Marlena. Like, even a little. She will shut it down quicker than Gabi can get any conversation back to being about Jake and Stefan. Hat tip, Mar Mar! That was impressive.
I didn't expect to like Gwen, but I kind of do. Emily O'Brien is simply cheekily charming! Gwen also reminds me of those old-school schemers with a short-shelf life like Marina Toscano or Megan Hathaway. They're fun, they're feisty, and they're ferocious (for a while). And I certainly see the toxic yet intriguing chemistry between Gwen and Jake. Gwake? Anyway. For now, I'm totally in and waiting to see where this train wrecks next (and I meant train wreck in the best possible way).
Okay, Lani and Eli turned up the awesome so much last week that I'm upgrading their wedding gift, and my hands still hurt from applauding them both. Seriously. Lani kicked so much ass while experiencing morning sickness and shot down Eli when he even suggested she take it easy. Her "I'm pregnant, not an invalid" speech was epic, especially on a soap where so many pregnant women are, in fact, treated like invalids or handled with fragility. I love this script flip. And then, along with his gun, Eli was armed with goldfish crackers the next time they were out in the field. Well played, Mr. Grant! Well played, Team Elani!
Maggie and Xander scenes will never not choke me up a bit. I know. I know. But they do, nonetheless.
Oh! Will got a little choked up when Ben asked him to be his best man. Too soon? Anyway. They're still buddies, but it was a bit awkward this time. Maybe without the bars, we realize they have at least two bonds that will never break, but there will always be an elephant, err, necktie in the room.
Paul Telfer and Linsey Godfrey got me all misty as Sarah mourned Mackenzie. We should all be social distancing, so let's find a really long table and a stick and slowly slide every award Linsey's way. She deserves the accolades. Okay. Off to a happier place...
How adorable are Jack and Jennifer? She especially epitomized sunshine when she gushed, "Our grandbabies made this," referring to the, umm, meal Thom-Thom and Char whipped up for Jack and Jen. Plus, Jack and Jen have talked a lot about the Loretta lately. Are we gearing up for a "Cruise of Deception" sequel!? I know it's hard to top the original, especially with today's budgetary limitations, and I know one should be careful what they wish for, but a little part of me still kind of likes the idea? I said "little" don't worry.
If you need me after Two Scoops, I'll be in the kitchen, making Rafe all sorts of comfort food. The guy's kind of crushed right now. I'm still hating that Zoey got custody of David. Not fair, man. Not fair at all.
You know, I mentioned a DiMera connection when discussing Mysterious Mobby Boss earlier. I suggested Peter, but, food for thought, another DiMera walked through the doors at the end of Friday's episode. A DiMera who hates Gabi. A DiMera who would do anything to destroy her. Yep. Chad is home and looking rather crossly at Gabs, who was vowing to the Stefano portrait to bring Stefan back to La Famiglia. Was Chad mobbing it up in his spare time these past few years, and, if it's not Chad, could the mob boss be Allie's baby daddy? I thrice repeat, "Hmm!"
The chemistry between Victoria Konefal and Olivia Rose Keegan is just magical, and I missed it! In addition to the talent both women bring to the table in abundance, you can tell their off-screen relationship prompts them to go, as Captain Marvel might say, "Higher. Further. Faster." There's such an ease and trust between them that, when they let go, it's art. They're that good together.
Now, we're to believe Claire has changed and, more so, wants to prove that change. We get that Ciara is skeptical but wants to believe deep down her old bestie Claire Bear might be back. It's a wait and see game ultimately, and I, for one, can't wait to watch these two set the screen ablaze again. Well. You know. Sans the actual fires, I hope.
This is not a huge "NOT," and while there was certainly some hilarity that ensued by Brady and Sarah's choice to "do it," it was ultimately a head-slapping moment. I just didn't get why Sarah was so persistent that they had to really, actually, and indeed do "the deed" in order for their plan to work. Xander's plan worked just fine, and it involved so many lies, he'd need a flow chart to keep them all straight.
Sure. Liars are eventually exposed, but faux sex would be a hard one to prove unless Brady and Sarah spilled the beans. Xander would continue not to believe them just because he isn't ready to accept Sarah's moved on (which she hasn't, and neither has Brady, for that matter), but that would be torture enough for him, and I'm not exactly sure what difference really, actually, and indeed doing "the deed" would make.
I guess, maybe, that both Brady and Sarah thought that if they could, they'd be able to move on, but, still, that kind of weird weak sauce took some wind out of my sails on enjoying their revenge plot. Umm. Just not the same kind of windless sails Brady experienced. Eric Martsolf and Linsey Godfrey made that part hilarious. The rest. Eh. I think the actual growth was looked past -- both Brady and Sarah typically spring from one lover to another, and they didn't this time. Kudos to them!
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
Xander (to Ciara, Ben, and Jake): "I'm an avid reader of the classics."
Claire (to Gwen): "Oh, you don't know my grandparents. They are capital "B" badasses. No, I'm telling the truth. Look, my grandma, Marlena, is a brilliant psychiatrist who basically spent her whole life fighting off supervillains. My grandpa, John, worked for the ISA. Back in the day, he was the closest thing Salem had to a real-life James Bond."
SELF-AWARE LINE OF THE WEEK
Kate (to Hope regarding Lucas and Allie): "I have to stop him from being so overprotective before he drives her completely away, and, before you say anything, I -- I recognize the irony in what I'm saying."
OH SNAP! LINE OF THE WEEK
Claire: "Why do I feel like I'm about to get a Grandma Marlena lecture?"
Marlena: "Do not be fresh with me!"
EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK
Jimmy: "Drop your gun or she's done!"
Eli: "Let her go. We've got backup outside, and the place is surrounded."
Jimmy: "I don't care. Drop the gun or I'll kill the --"
Gabi: "Oh! Oh! Listen, they don't care. They're not going to listen to you. They actually...they...they want me to die. They probably want you to kill me."
Jimmy: "Why am I not surprised?"
Aww! When John told Claire, "Like I'm not wrapped around your little finger," it was all shades of adorable. I will forever love the adventures of a Robo John and Li'l Claire Bear, and I enjoy that their closeness is still a thing.
Billy Flynn being back is reason for a Happy Dance. Welcome back, good sir!
If Marlena and Ben keep teaming up (which is always fun), can their portmanteau be "Barlena" or just "Bar?"
Was I alone in cringing when the Scooby gang defaced the book? That's one of a bibliophile's worst nightmares. That and Claire handling a book and a lighter at the same time.
When Kate and Lucas' scene started on Friday's episode, I got so giddy! It was like a warm, fuzzy flashback, but it was new material. More, please.
Ben stepping between Ciara and Claire was sweet and noble, but, Mister Weston, Ciara can take care of herself. Ask the prison staff at Statesville or Evan. They're all probably still a little shaken by her. Yep. She's up there with "Jarlena" in the badass department.
I think Jimmy is a liar. Those walls did not look three feet thick. I'm disappointed. I expect more honesty from mob associates.
I'm still crossing fingers that NBC's Peacock streaming service will include vintage DAYS episodes as well as fallen shows like Another World, Generations, Passions, Santa Barbara, and, of course, Sunset Beach, amongst others. NBC has a long, long list of canceled soaps, so the content could be endless.
Speaking of Sunset Beach, if the Peacock does add it, and it's successfully streamed, they should totally do a prequel movie and cast Brandon Barash and Emily O'Brien as young versions of Gregory and Olivia (Sam Behrens and Lesley-Anne Down). Just from Jake and Gwen's heated fight on Friday's episode, I could totally see those two talented thespians as the racy, rowdy Richards family heads from yesteryear. Oh! And Molly Burnett as a young, not-yet-married-six-or-seven-times Bette Katzenkazrahi (Kathleen Noone). Yep. This could work, but back to DAYS Randomness...
John and Marlena's flirty banter on the sofa was cute until they got Claire Blocked.
Kate and Hope's knowing smile to one another was a nice touch. I kind of wouldn't mind if they became friends. Hope certainly needs new ones, as Mar and Kayla have been rather rude to her as of late. You'd think Doc would at least send her an Edible Arrangement for saving her from blowing up, but not so much.
Ever since meeting henchman Luca, I now have the song "Luka" stuck in my head.
On topic of music, am I the only one getting a "That Don't Impress Me Much" era Shania Twain vibe from Ciara's current wardrobe? That is not a complaint. Ciara, like Shania, is made of win.
I'm one of those people who could eat breakfast food for every meal. Still, raise your hand if you want to wake up at the Kiriakis Mansion just for that morning spread Henderson is always serving. It's always epic. Plus, with that dysfunctional fam, it's like a meal and a show. Kiriakis Dinner, well, Breakfast Theater Presents!
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for June 22! Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Mine totally didn't watch DAYS with my mom. He just, you know, sat with her while she watched her story. Still, the man could give you the latest updates on Salem's shenanigans and his opinions, too. But, you know, he didn't follow the show. I will say, though, watching with my mom and him "sitting with" us when I was home for a visit are some warm, fuzzy memories I wouldn't trade for the world. Happy Father's Day, dad -- I miss not watching DAYS with you.
With that, I'm off to the Two Scoops Cave to connect some more yarn strings on my current conspiracy theory boards regarding the identity of this mob boss and who's the father of Allie's baby. Laurisa will be back next week after she inevitably untangles me, as I get pretty wrapped up in my work. *Groan* I'll show myself out, but stay healthy, stay helpful, and stay awesome. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
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