“He’s just a complicated guy” - When Jennifer Garner called Ben Affleck “the love of my life” following “nannygate”

Media outlets went berserk when Jennifer Garner announced her split from Ben Affleck in mid-2015. Affleck and Garner were in the headlines after a shocking 10-year marriage, but things got worse when tabloid gossip Christold Demetriou was supposedly the reason for the couple's divorce, and Affleck's scandalous nannygate phrase appeared in tabloids.

Something that struck me in what many people in the world highly desired was Garner's understated remark, which clearly struck the world.

“I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision,” Garner told Vanity Fair in a now-iconic 2016 cover story. “He’s the love of my life. What am I going to do about that? He’s just a complicated guy.”

The quote reverberated through the media like a wind sting—vulnerable, sulky, but determined. Not only was this a memorable soundbite—a gasp as the journalists called it—it sketched a picture of a lifelike sculptor who, when cut, chose to deal even though she didn’t want.

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From co-stars to a couple

Garner and Affleck's relationship had all the markings of a Hollywood romantic epic. They connected on the sets of Pearl Harbor (2001) and rekindled it on Daredevil (2003). While sparks supposedly flew during filming, both were occupied in other relationships at that time.

By 2004, though, they were discreetly dating. A year later, Affleck proposed, and the two tied the knot in a lavish but private ceremony in the Turks and Caicos in 2005, with Garner carrying their first child, Violet.

In a nostalgic GQ interview in 2025, Ben Affleck expressed a bittersweet fondness for the period surrounding Daredevil.

“I loved the comic book and I loved working with Mike Duncan and Colin [Farrell] and Jen Garner,” he said. “It wasn't the adaptation ultimately that, like, I thought was the best version of what it could have been, and that was disappointing.”

Focusing on what would come to be perceived as glorified “celebrity culture,” it certainly brought to light the very real, if unsteady, relationship between two well-known figures.

He decided to highlight the domestic nature of the couple, noting the birth of three children: Violet in 2005, Seraphina in 2009, and Samuel in 2012, which, for a time, gave the perception that they were one of the most relatable and grounded couples in Hollywood.

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A very public unraveling

However, life in the spotlight came at a cost. Affleck has spoken publicly about his mental health struggles due to fame, as well as his issues with addiction. The couple announced their separation in 2015, and shortly afterwards, there were claims that Affleck had some sort of affair with the nanny caring for their children.

Nevertheless, Garner chose not to become another victim of the media’s fabricated accounts.

“Let me just tell you something,” she said in that Vanity Fair interview. “We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation.”

Regardless, the assumptions were hurtful. Although it hurt, Garner chose not to make him the scapegoat. She instead painted a picture of her ex-husband that was, albeit sincere, filled with compassion.

“When his sun shines on you, you feel it. But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”

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“The love of my life”

Might still be her declaring, “He’s the love of my life,” which captured our attention the most and left us stunned while trying to comprehend the deep feelings Garner still carried after her relationship with Affleck. Such words coming from the heart left even the most cynical observers awestruck.

“The truth was, we took our time. We made the decision... We grew apart. We had a marriage that didn’t work. This happens,” he said.

Affleck encapsulated those feelings more years later, and in 2021, during his visit to Howard Stern’s The Howard Stern Show, he set the record straight for tabloids’ absurd fake stories, where they claimed he was blaming Garner for all his self-inflicted problems.

The couple divorced in 2018, yet maintained a strong familial bond and connection through co-parenting, which evolved into supportive ex-spouses. Both started focused on sustaining bidirectional positive parenting and split family dynamics, which allowed Affleck and Garner to prioritize nurturing their shared children.

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Separate paths, shared respect

Affleck would rekindle his relationship with Jennifer Lopez in 2021, marrying her in a whirlwind romance the following year. However, that marriage ended in divorce by 2024. In a 2025 interview discussing his career, Affleck graciously mentioned all three of his high-profile exes: Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Garner, and Lopez.

While talking about Jersey Girl (2004) to GQ, which he shot with Lopez, he proudly emphasized:

“Oh my God, I loved doing that movie too… Jen was great, Liv [Tyler] was great, and George Carlin was such a… George was a wonderful guy and a hero of mine. And to get to work with him and get to know him was an honor and a treat.”

Of Lopez, he added to Entertainment Tonight during The Accountant 2 red carpet:

“Jennifer Lopez is spectacular, great to my kids, great ongoing relationship with them… She’s an enormously important, tremendous person of a lot of integrity who I adore and am grateful to.”

Yet, it is the bond with Garner—nonromantic as it may be—that is steadfastly silent but unyielding. Based on their appearance together—attending school pickups, fairs, or hosting birthday parties—they seemed to show a level of cordiality that was greater than what remained after the marriage.

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Grace in the spotlight

Garner's words still resonate over a decade later. “He’s just a complicated guy,” she said, not as a dismissal, but an acceptance of the man she deeply understood. In an industry where separations tend to spiral into finger-pointing and damage control, Jennifer Garner offered something far more radical: sympathy.

In doing so, she redefined walking through heartbreak, with head held high, heart open, and grace that, like her quote, lingers long after the headlines fade.