“I wanted to be dead” — Hilaria Baldwin reflects on her fake accent controversy 

American entrepreneur and yoga instructor, Hilaria Baldwin, who is also married to Hollywood actor and producer, Alec Baldwin, opened up in her new book Manual Not Included, about being an individual, a partner, and a parent. The 41-year-old wellness expert also acknowledged the 2020 fake accent controversy, when people raised questions regarding the authenticity of her Spanish background, in the book.

In Hilaria's upcoming book, which is set to be released on May 6, 2025, she wanted the readers to be in her shoes. The celebrity yoga instructor shared different insights from her different experiences as a mother, as a wife, and as a person. She exclusively shared excerpts from her book with People Magazine that shed light on her different struggles and the ups and downs she had to go through.

An official synopsis of the book reads:

"From feeling empowered, to having a fulfilling relationship, to being as good a mother as possible, all while still being a work in progress."

Hilaria shared exclusive excerpts with People Magazine, mainly focusing on the fake accent controversy that questioned her Spanish origins. In one of the portions of the book, she talked about how people can be outraged or amused by someone for forgetting a single word. She confessed that it affected her deeply to the point that she felt she should be dead. The excerpt read:

"Now I know that it’s ridiculous that anyone would feel outraged or amused because someone forgot a word. Can you be honest right now, reading this: Have you ever forgotten a word? But back then, I started to really unravel. I was confused. I felt lost. I missed my family. I couldn’t eat. I got very thin. I started to question my sanity. I started to question if I was a good person. I returned to what I used to do as a child, and started to call myself stupid. When I woke up, I wanted to be dead. And I got worse and worse and worse."

Hilaria opens up about the aftermath of the accent controversy

Hilaria further mentioned that talking to her brother, who lives in Spain, late at night, he would try to lighten things up for her when she cried and talked about it. The excerpt said:

"I’d sit on my bathroom floor, nursing my baby Edu at 3 a.m., and speak to my brother in Spain, and I’d cry to him, nauseous about it all. He’d try to lighten things up by saying, “Can we just stop for a second and talk about how nonsensical this is? You’re speaking to me in Spain, where I’ve lived for most of my life, in Spanish, about the validity of our connection to Spain. No one is really offended —it’s COVID, and they are home alone and bored, and there is so much misinformation."

Hilaria, who shares seven children with her husband Alec Baldwin, whom she married in 2012, talked about how supportive he was during that time.

Hilaria discussed that he understood how she felt as he went through something similar, when people criticized and tried to destroy him. She talked about those times when Alec held her close, when she would wake up in the middle of the night. The excerpt read:

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"Alec was so good to me throughout this time. He had experienced similar situations: people saying awful things about him, trying to destroy him, making others think he was a bad person. He could reach out from a place of real empathy and personal experience. In the middle of the night, I’d wake up and remember what was happening to me. And he was always there. He’d know I was awake, and he would hold me close and say, 'You’re not alone. I’m here and I love you. And you can cry, because I know how much it hurts. It’s so awful, but just know what they’re saying is not true.'"

Read More: How long have Alec and Hilaria Baldwin been married? Actor's wife reveals in upcoming memoir she almost walked away from their marriage

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