What is Nikki Glaser's net worth in 2025? Comedian makes her Saturday Night Live hosting debut

Nikki Glaser made her hosting debut on Saturday Night Live on November 8, 2025. In her nearly ten-minute-long monologue, she spoke about beauty standards, sex trafficking awareness posters, and more. Some of her remarks have also sparked notable online debates.

Amid the controversy, enthusiasts have also taken an interest in Nikki Glaser's 2025 net worth. According to Celebrity Net Worth, Nikki Glaser has an estimated net worth of $7 million in 2025. Nikki Glaser's fortune comprises earnings from two decades of touring, television work, and podcasting, among other sources. A Nikki Glaser comedy tour alongside David Spade is also set for 2026.

More on Nikki Glaser's fortune

Nikki Glaser's net worth stands at $7 million as of September 2025. Her wealth primarily comes from her stand-up tours, television hosting roles, and writing and production credits.

Nikki Glaser has also produced and starred in multiple projects, such as Nikki & Sara Live (MTV, 2013), Not Safe with Nikki Glaser (Comedy Central, 2016), and the HBO Max dating series FBOY Island. The series was also hosted and co-produced by Nikki Glaser in 2021.

Nikki Glaser's complete Saturday Night Live monologue

Below is a complete transcription of what Nikki Glaser said during her Saturday Night Live monologue as she made her SNL hosting debut on November 8, 2025:

"Hi, I am Nikki Glaser, and I am so happy to be here tonight. This is truly a dream come true. I love this show so much. And here I am in New York City, Epstein's original island. Oh, it's such a special night. I got a spray tan tonight. Thank you. It deserves that. Thank you. There are so many pasty white girls who are terrified to get spray tans because you're scared. You're like, I'm going to look orange. And just believe me, I promise you, I promise you, it's better than what you are, OK? Don't be scared. They're always like, I'm going to look like Trump. I'm like, bitch, that's why he won. I mean, yeah, he picked an insane shade. He went pretty dark. I mean, he didn't go Kamala, but he picked a shade that half of America was like, OK, we can still tell he's white. I mean, it is kind of insane that white people can just, like, paint their skin a different color, and they're like, this is cool, right?"

Nikki Glaser went on:

"Like, I feel like that's cultural appropriation. I don't know. I mean, it's not blackface, but it is, like, Guatemalan leg. I mean, this is not my leg. I'm like, oh, my God. Miyamo is Nikki. Look at that. Am I saying that right? I get these spray tans. I breathe this stuff in every week. I am definitely gonna get some kind of respiratory illness from it. I think in, like, 20 years, there's gonna be some epidemic called tan lung. And I really want to be on the commercials for the class action lawsuit. I think that's, like, such a good gig. I could just... It'll be so fun for you, too. You'll turn on your TV in the middle of the night and be like, who is that? And I'll be like, I'm Nikki Glaser. You may recognize me from the roast of Tom Brady. It'll be, like, me and Snooki. Like, that's fun. Just talking through our trachs, RFK Jr-ing out. Like, he's got tan lung. I mean, that's... He's stage two. I don't know. I'm no health expert, but neither is he. I mean..."

Nikki Glaser continued speaking about the matter:

"It's just crazy we have to worry about our looks so much. And it starts so young as a girl. I mean, I saw this girl the other day. She was probably six years old. And her dad was trying to take a picture of her. And he was like, Mackenzie, look over here. And she was like, Dad, get my good side. She did like a good side. Six. So sad, because she didn't have one. And it's like, when is she going to find out? She needs to learn a trade. hand her a wrench or do comedy. I don't know. I just think there's so many things we do for beauty that are important, but then there's other ones that I'm like, why are we doing this? Like, who cares? Like, nails? No one cares. Like, I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. He's never once noticed that I've gotten my nails done, and they go inside him. So if he doesn't care, who does? The only time he cared was when I got them bedazzled for his pleasure, and then he loved them. And going to the nail salon, it's so boring. It's such a waste of time."

"You just sit there for two hours, just paralyzed. I feel like men think we go to the nail salons, like, with our girlfriends. I mean, just, like, chit-chat the whole time. But that's not the case. You can go to the nail salon with a friend, but you get separated at the border. They do not let you sit next to each other. It's so antisocial. You're just sitting there watching Beat Bobby Flay on mute. You can't talk to the woman doing your nails because slavery? I mean, I don't know. She seems stuck and sad. I don't know. I think I'm just paranoid. I'm just kind of obsessed with slavery recently because... Every time you go to a women's restroom, a public women's restroom, and you sit in the stall, there's always a poster on the back of the stall that's asking you if you're being trafficked. Women, we have these, right? Yes, yes. They're in every stall. They're in every world language. I mean, English is really tiny, and it's like, you wish. But it's like men's restrooms do not have these signs. I don't know what signs you have. Maybe, like, do you have signs that are, like, one a slave? Like, text traffic to 6969. But it's really a big fear of being trafficked, mostly for, like, Gen Z girls. I have a lot of Gen Z friends that I bought, and they're terrified. And I don't relate. I'm 41. That was, like, not a fear of mine ever in my 20s. In my 20s, I just feared, like, good old-fashioned rape, you know? Like, I didn't think it would be a career. We didn't think it was anything more than a temp job on a Fred House futon, but... It's real, though. I'm getting scared. Like, it's rubbing off on me. Like, I was out with them recently, and I was like, what if we get trafficked? And they're like, you're good. And I'm like... They're like, we're safer when you're with us because, uh, you, they think you're our madam, so... You have, like, resting Jelaine face, so just keep that on. I'm like, what? I'm going to get it fixed.

"I'm going to get a facelift pretty soon here. And my boyfriend doesn't want me to. He's like, no, don't do your face. I love your face. Do your tits. And I'm like, what? That's all he cares about. He's a short guy, so they're all he sees, I think. I think that's why he's focused on them. I do date a short guy. He's shorter than me, but he's really hot. And I honestly think that's why I got him, because I could never get his face on a taller model. Like, if you want to get a 10 in the face, you got to go 5'7 in the height. That's the trick. It's like getting a hot guy on discount. He's marked down. I met my boyfriend at TJ Maxx. Clearance rack. He was hiding in it. It's crazy. Sometimes I'll post a picture of us online, and I'll get comments of like, girl, he's hot. Like, how'd you get him? And I'm like, if you zoomed out, you'd see he's sitting on my lap. So this is a tiny guy. We're digging in the bargain bin, ladies. But yeah, girls don't like short guys."

"And I guess it's because you want a tall guy so that you can feel like, oh, he can protect me and murder me someday. I don't know if that's it. But my boyfriend's shorter than me. I've never felt like he can't protect me. And I am certain he will murder me someday. I mean, he is so filled with rage that he's short. I mean, he is just simmering with anger. And that's why I keep our gun on the top shelf. I mean, I can't risk that. I need him to go get a stepladder and think it through, you know? The number of times I've walked into our closet and just seen him like... And I'm like, does someone need to get uppy-uppy to get the bang-bang to make Nikki go bye-bye? And then I give him a juice box and he forgets why he's upset, so... We don't have kids, because I don't want to pass down that DNA, but it's just... I feel like it's too hard to be a mom. I have too much anxiety about it. I mean, it's hard even being an aunt for me.

"I was staying at my sister's house recently, and at one point, I was like, I'm going to go take a shower. And my nephew comes running in. He's like, I want to take a shower with you. I want to take a shower with you. He's 18. I'm like, what's going on with his voice? Something's wrong. No, no. He was four, and it was very cute. And my sister was like, he can take a shower with you. It's fine. He does it with us. And I'm like, OK, that's fine for you guys. But are you really OK with an adult showering with your child? Maybe it's OK if you come and supervise. And she was like, why? And I was like, because what if I molest him? And she was like, would you? And I was like, no! I would never! That's disgusting! But that's what I'd say if I was gonna. Don't trust anyone. I don't even trust myself. I don't want to go in there. How do you become a pedophile? You don't get to choose what you're into, dude."

Nikki Glaser concluded her long SNL monologue, stating:

"What if it's one of those things you don't know you like till you get in there and you're like, well, this is my thing. And then it opens up a part of my brain. No, no, no. I know that sounds crazy, but there have been so many things in my life that I've looked at and been like, that's disgusting. I would never do that. And now I'm like, pickleball's kind of fun, actually. So it's like, I don't know. Thank you guys so much. We have such an incredible show for you tonight. Soccer is here! So stick around and we'll be right back."

Critics praised Nikki Glaser's boldness during her monologue. However, others found her jokes referencing s*xual abuse and trafficking provocative. After the broadcast, multiple viewers took to social media to share their discomfort with Nikki Glaser's jokes on topics like p**ophilia, s*x trafficking, and m**estation.

Notably, Nikki Glaser also participated in multiple sketches throughout the episode. Moreover, Nikki Glaser is set to get back on the road with comedian David Spade for their joint tour. A complete itinerary is as follows: