Who was Jeff Lang? All about Taylor Swift’s late friend as ‘Ruin the Friendship’ theory erupts online

Taylor Swift’s 12th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl, includes a song titled Ruin the Friendship, which fans originally speculated was about actress and producer Blake Lively. However, when the song was finally released on October 2, it was revealed that Ruin the Friendship was about a high school friend who later passed away.

In the song, Taylor Swift talks about learning about the tragedy from her longtime friend Abigail Anderson and lamenting the fact that she missed her chance of kissing her late friend.

“When I left school, I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news / Goodbye... / And we’ll never know why / It was not an invitation / But I flew home anyway / With so much left to say / It was not convenient, no / But I whispered it at the grave / ‘Should’ve kissed you anyway,’”

While she specifically didn’t name her deceased friend in the recent track, at the 2010 BMI Country Music Awards, Taylor Swift spoke about singing at a close friend Jeff Lang’s funeral. She was 20 at the time.

“It’s been a really emotional video for me. Yesterday, I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends, and he was 21. I used to play my songs for him first, so I would like to thank Jeff Lang,” she said back then while accepting the Country Songwriter of the Year award.

According to his obituary on Legacy, Jeff Lang died at the age of 21 in Hendersonville, Tennessee, on November 2, 2010. At the time, he was a junior biology major at U.T.C.

Now, in the wake of the Ruin the Friendship lyrics unveiling, Swifties are theorizing that the song is about Jeff Lang.

One fan wrote,

“The plot twist in Ruin the Friendship… oh, tay”

Another fan wrote,

“Dumba** people thought ‘Ruin the Friendship’ would be about Blake, the whole time it's about a crush whom you never told you liked that died”

A netizen wrote,

“‘Ruin the Friendship’ being about someone passing away was not on my bingo card”

Meanwhile, many theorized that Ruin the Friendship is a sequel to the song Forever Winter from the album, Red (Taylor’s Version), which fans claimed was also about Jeff Lang.

One user wrote,

“Forever Winter coded and heartbreaking”

Another user wrote,

“Didn’t expect to hear a sequel song to Forever Winter tonight,”

Another fan wrote,

“Did anyone else get complete whiplash the moment they realized this song was about her friend in Forever Winter? Because it seemed like a cute little song & then those lyrics later in the song had me like”

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All you need to know about Jeff Lang amid Taylor Swift's viral Ruin the Friendship lyrics

According to Legacy and springfieldfh.com, Jeff Lang was born on July 18, 1989, and died on November 2, 2010, in Hendersonville, Tennessee. He was a student of Hendersonville High School, batch of 2008, and was pursuing a bachelor’s degree in biology from U.T.C. when he passed away.

As per Netflix Junkie reports, Lang succumbed to his lifelong struggle with depression and substance abuse. He is survived by his parents, Marty and Susan, sister Leslie, grandparents, Renie, Helen, and Les.

His memorial service was held at the Our Lady of the Lake Catholic Church in Hendersonville, on November 8, 2010, a day before Taylor Swift’s BMI Country Music Awards appearance.

Swift and Lang were close friends and confidants. He was among the first to listen to her songs. Her songs, Forever Winter and Ruin the Friendship, are presumed to be in his honor. According to Yahoo!, her song, Bigger Than the Whole Sky from the 2022 album Midnights, was also likely about Jeff Lang.

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The Life of a Showgirl has 12 tracks, including Ruin the Friendship and Father Figure. The latter seemingly refers to Taylor Swift's former mentor, Scott Borchetta.

Meanwhile, at the end of the former, Swift advised her listeners not to make the same mistake as herself and urged them to "ruin the friendship" rather than "regret it for all time." She confessed that she "should've kissed" her late friend anyway and urged her fans to "always answer the question / Better that than to ask it / All your life."