Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!

For the Week of January 8, 2007
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Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!
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Lorenzo's favorite movie must be Pirate's of the Caribbean. There is no other explanation for why Skye was wearing Captain Jack Sparrow's outfit this week.

Lorenzo's favorite movie must be Pirate's of the Caribbean. There is no other explanation for why Skye was wearing Captain Jack Sparrow's outfit this week. Or, maybe she forgot to pack her own wardrobe when she left the Q mansion, and had to toss on half her clothes and half stuff she found in Diego's closet. All I know is that if Port Charles had a "Would You Be Caught Dead in This Outfit" column, Skye would have been in it.

Mind you, I am sitting here writing in my $9.00 Wal-Mart pajamas that have little moons with Santa hats and snowflakes on them, so not like I am a big Fashion Maven myself, just when I saw Skye in the pirate outfit, my initial reaction was "What the hell is she wearing?" and I thought some of you may have asked yourself the same question, it would have been remiss of me to ignore it.

It would also be remiss of me not to draw attention to Elizabeth's stupidity this week. Several of you have told me I'm too easy on her and I suppose you're right, but when I take that "Which GH lady are you most like?" quiz on ABC, it always says I am most like Liz, so I guess I feel a kinship with her. But this week her car slid off the road in the snow, and rather than sitting her pregnant self down inside the car and calling 911 on her cell phone, she got out and tried trooping around in the woods alone in a blizzard, and of course she cracked her head and passed out. If Jason didn't happen to be on the road at that exact time, she'd be beneath 3 feet of snow by now.

My Dad used to say that the flaws we notice in others are the things we struggle with ourselves. For instance, if you always think everyone is lying, it probably means you're a liar. And the thing that's driving me nuts about Liz right now is her inability to make a decision. So, in this case, Dad's theory is right, as I choke when making those kinds of decisions, too. If Liz tells Jason he is her baby's father, she runs the risk of driving Lucky back to pills, and also puts herself and her kids in Mob danger just for being related to Jason. If she says nothing, and keeps letting everyone assume the baby is Lucky's- her whole life is based on a lie and could crashing down on her at anytime. Both choices suck, and so she does nothing. I keep yelling at her to tell Jason the truth, and I think she is almost there, but hasn't blurted it out yet. I'm sure before she gets it out Sam will burst in the door, or Spinelli will come back looking for Doritos or something.

I usually take awhile to warm up to new characters, but Spinelli had me at "The Jackal". What a completely refreshing and original character. Whoever is writing his dialogue should get some special Emmy because it's just so insanely funny. His assistant on Lulu's "Who really killed Rick" mystery is great, but comic relief aside, they have given him another purpose - I love the angle that he is supplying Alexis with weed for her chemo side effects. GH has done two things with this plot- given us some comic relief in the cancer storyline, while at the same time educating us about medical Marijuana and getting the word out that it truly helps people with serious illness to cope with their pain and nausea.

Should soaps try to educate as well as entertain? Yes, indeed, I think they should. The first person I ever saw with AIDS was Stone Cates. Later in my life, I had real friends who died of AIDS and some who are currently HIV positive. I'd like to think I knew how to help them because of the things GH taught me well before I had a personal encounter with the disease. In like manner, I made it through the 70's without doing any drugs, not even pot, and always had a black and white viewpoint about such things - "Illegal Drugs are Evil"- period. But a few years back when one of my co-workers husbands had cancer and was doubled over in pain, and medical marijuana made it possible for him to feel human again - I had to rethink my position. I live in one of the states where medical marijuana use is permitted, with a prescription from a doctor. Alexis is forced to use it in secret or face criminal charges and GH is doing a great job of sounding the trumpet for "Compassionate Use" as it is called here. Even Sonny with his "No drugs in my territory" stance has lightened up for the sake of Alexis' well being.

Sonny is apparently quite busy, between luring Jax into the jungle with a fake Mob threat to Jerry (Or so Carly assumes) building a "Sonnybucks" in the front lobby of his coffee warehouse where Hit-Women can stop in for a latte and plant a gun in the trash can for Alcazar, accosting Carly on New Year's Eve with a juicy kiss, taunting Ric about custody issues, keeping Milo from swooning over Lulu, giving Jason a night off to go home and make a baby with Sam - how does one dimpled mobster keep up with the hectic pace? Did he just shoot Carly? Dunno. A gun went off, Carly was in the line of fire, but - maybe we'll find out on Monday that Max leapt in front of her and took the bullet.

Another burning question - will Nikolas and Emily see baby Spencer who is 4 inches in front of their face in the day care? Most likely not. Soaps never work that way. People never see the person they are looking for who is in plain sight. They will look us just as he bends down to pick up his bottle or something. Mark my words. And how long will Nanny McFreak get to keep her job at the daycare when she ignores all the other babies and just sits in the floor playing with Spencer?

As to the sideplot where Emily is trying to transform Nikolas into a regular guy, as she thinks everyone will be able to tell he's a Prince from sight -HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL - that is SO stupid. If Prince William was sitting next to me on the bus, and I hadn't seen his face plastered all over the Enquirer his whole life, I'd be able to deduce that he was British by the accent, but I wouldn't magically know he was a prince unless he had a crown and a scepter. Of course, Emily could simplify her classes and just say "Pretend you're Connor Bishop again. Wear flannel. Carve a duck out of wood."

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Robin's nesting mode lead her to an IKEA shopping spree? Will Johnny Depp storm ABC and demand Skye give his clothes back? Will Courtney's dog Rosie adopt the abandoned puppy since Liz won't let Cam keep it as Maxie's skank germs are on it? Will Sonny ever sell enough coffee to put TWO tables in Sonnybucks? Will Spinelli sign up for The Grocery Game so he can get oodles of free Doritos? Will any doctors ever examine Maxie's medical records and figure out she was never pregnant, and thus could not have had a miscarriage? Will Professor Pete have his way with poor naïve Georgie?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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