For better, for worse, etcetera, etcetera

For the Week of October 1, 2007
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Do people even listen to the words they are saying when they get married.

Do people even listen to the words they are saying when they get married? Or is it like when I'm in the grocery store and I find myself singing songs I hate with the P.A. system in the frozen food aisle just because I know the words to ...practically every song on Earth. It seems I can't stop myself from singing songs I may have accidentally memorized. One day I was wandering around Ralph's picking out frozen peas, and I heard my mouth singing "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with 4 hungry children and crops in the field." Why do I even KNOW that song? It's not like I planned to memorize it, it's just in there. But, I digress... Liz and Lucky memorized vows and said "Til death do us part." But they didn't really mean it. They have decided to divorce.

In May, I went to the most extravagant wedding I have ever attended. They needed a ladder to cut the cake as it was like 7 stories high, and there were so many people at the reception that from where I was sitting, the bride was like a tiny pea somewhere off in the distance. Like when you get bad seats at a concert and forgot to hide a zoom lens camera or binoculars in your bra.

Champagne flowed freely all night, and waiters in tuxedos were passing out piles of filet mignon that was so tender you could eat it if you had no teeth. The bride's gown cost more than my husband and I make in a year. (Seriously.) She's rich, gorgeous, and famous. He's rich, older, and incredibly handsome. It seemed so storybook. Toasts were made, tears were shed, families embraced, montage videos were shown; it was a very touching occasion...but now? 4 months later, the couple has separated. Every detail of the wedding was meticulously planned out, but apparently no one gave any thought to the actual marriage.

When Lucky and Liz called it quits this week, it made me terribly sad. People real and fictional end marriages so casually these days. Liz and Lucky have been in love since they were teenagers. They have faced and overcome so many challenges and obstacles, Good Heavens, even when Helena ERASED Liz from Lucky's memory with the evil mind erasing machine, Lucky and Liz found their way back together. After all the things their love has overcome, the only solution they can think of is divorce? Yeah, yeah, I know the rundown... Lucky got injured and hooked on his pain pills. He was unfaithful to Liz. He lied to her for months, pretending to throw pills away, but always with another stash on the way via Skanky Maxie. In a weak moment Liz went to Jason for comfort, and ended up in bed with him. She has lied to Lucky for months, and is still lying to him about Jake's paternity. They've both done terrible things to one another.

We know all the reasons why they drifted apart. But honestly, could this marriage be saved? Yes. My Dad used to say Love isn't a feeling, it's a decision. He's right. Lucky and Liz have made no real attempts to overcome their issues. Lucky turned to Sam after he discovered Liz's betrayal, and Liz pushed Lucky away altogether. No one said "Hey, let's go talk to our pastor" (Or priest, or Rabbi, or marriage counselor, or Gram, or Lanie, or...anyone.) They just threw their hands up in the air and gave up.

I'm sad for them and I'm sad for us. They were supposed to last. If two truly decent people like Liz and Lucky can't make a marriage work what hope is there for the rest of us imperfect beings? (Yes, I know they are fictional...) But, in truth, I can't count them out just yet. Luke and Laura broke up and got back together numerous times, so maybe somewhere down the line Liz and Lucky will get another chance at happiness. But it won't be anytime soon. When Lucky finally discovers that Liz lied about Jake's paternity, it's going to be eons before he can even look Liz in the eye.

He'll apparently spend a lot of time looking at Sam though, since he's already had his way with her. But I don't think he was looking at her eyes. He's more likely focused on her ample bosoms which she thrusts in his face at every opportunity. Sam has justified in her mind that it's okay for her to seduce Lucky because Liz doesn't give him what he needs. At the same time she chastises Jason for not keeping the promises he made to her, she's encouraging Lucky to break the promises he made to Liz, and his sons and God. Does anyone but me see the irony in this? When Sam pretended she was in danger just to get Jason over to slither around her hot tub like a snake and rub it in his face that she was going to skank her way into Lucky's pants, I was kind of rooting for him to push her in and spit on her. But, he did that Stone Cold thing and just looked at her with total disinterest.

Speaking of Stone Cold, is anyone but me getting a little "Spinelli'ed" out? Last week it was a bit too much of a good thing for my taste. I love Spinelli's character, I love Bradford Anderson's ultra charming, tender geekiness, I love the brilliant lines the writer's come up with for him. But last week Spinelli gave way too many long meandering speeches. I found myself thinking "Enough already." I have A.D.D. to begin with, so too much of anything, even something I genuinely love, causes me to lose interest. I just don't have the attention span to translate Spinelli-ese all afternoon.

On the other hand, I have been riveted by the scenes with Ric and Trevor. I feel like Ric is on the verge of an epiphany, like he's about to be set free from the demons that have tormented him his whole life. Seeing Trevor and how he operates as an adult has made Ric realize his take on Sonny and Adella may be a view eschew. Rick Hearst is an actor who shows his inner torment in his eyes, and he brings depth to Ric Lansing as we see him processing each new revelation, his face acts as a canvas for every emotion and change of heart and a masterpiece emerges. I love it when they give him something to work with. It's possible that Ric and Sonny may end up on the same side eventually, as I think they both hate Trevor more than they hate one another. I, for one, am excited to see Ric's redemption unfold. I was also delighted to see Skye show up at Ric's doorstep. Since Lorenzo's death (assuming he's dead, of course) she's been mostly invisible save a scene or two during Jason's trial. Having her pair up with Ric is an intriguing idea and the poor guy needs a new love interest.

His ex-wife Alexis is flirting about with Jerry Jax, to Nikolas' great dismay. Actually, everything is upsetting to Nikolas right now. Some of you have speculated Nik may have a brain tumor, or a side effect to the poison Jerry gave him, or that his Cassadine heritage is kicking in and he's turning into Stavros Jr - and frankly, I have no idea which if any of those theories is the right guess. The thing is, even though Nik is expressing himself in the worst possible way, violently breaking things and attacking people and acting very un-princelike, I can't really disagree with the actual things he's saying. Alexis DOES have lousy taste in men. (Except for Ned, whom she left at the altar...) Jerry DOES have a lot of nerve showing up at Wyndemere. Lucky is a chump for falling into Sam's seduction scheme. He's not wrong in his tirades, simply a little out of control. Natalia Livingston did some fine acting this week when she tries to express her concern to Nik about his health. He finally went to GH and had some tests run after Alfred confirmed he'd been having...episodes. We shall see what the tests reveal.

It's a bad week for Laura Spencer's kids this week; she'd best hurry up and shake herself out of that damned vegetative state again. Lucky's marriage is collapsing, Nikolas is in need of an Anger Management Seminar, and Lulu is holed up in Jason's house text messaging a psychotic junior gangster after the ugly discovery that Logan cheated on her with Skankzilla Maxie.

Logan is actually getting some paternal support from Scott, even though he won't yet admit Logan is his son. I suspect when the DNA tests come back and prove it, Scott will soften enough to at least quit calling the boy a lizard. I confess that even though Logan is a bonehead cheater, I feel a little sorry for him. He genuinely seems to have fallen for Lulu, and like Laura was Luke's salvation, Logan sees Lulu as his. When we go out into the world, and find one person who changes everything for us, one person who sees the best in us and rejoices in it and cherishes our potential and steers us to reach for the highest version of ourselves, it's a great gift. Everyone else in Logan's circle judges him on his past failures, while Lulu sees what he can become in the future. He needs her, but she is feeling too betrayed to forgive him at present. Thank God for people who, when confronted with the evidence of who we are, still opt to see us for what our possibilities instead of our problems.

Comedic delights this week include - Epiphany getting the happy news that Kate has to do community service and reveling in giving her actual work to do. Big Alice in every line she said this week. Diane trying to explain to the judge why it would destroy the fashion world for Kate Howard to wear an ankle monitor. Spinelli taking the breakfast tray away from Jason, so he could serve Lulu her Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana breakfast. Liz packing things up in her LAUNDRY BASKET! She just can't put it down! Jax gleefully referencing Al Capone as he threatens to sic the IRS on Zacharra, as though he looked up "How to take down a mobster" on Google. I love this show. I missed it.

If I missed anything, take into account that I watched 15 hours of GH this weekend to catch up on the two weeks I was on vacation, and also this week's action, so I had to think hard about which things actually happened this week. Tivo Series 2 is possibly our generation's greatest invention. But I'm a T.V. junkie, so I am biased.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Sam get an ice skating rink on her balcony so she can slip into tight sweaters when Lucky drops by? Will Coop get checked for STD's now that he's realized his girlfriend is a skanky ho? (Of course, he's a masked gunman, so maybe they aren't so mismatched after all...) Will Jerry taunt Nikolas into having Sheba trample him? Will Robin miss playing Matchbox Cars with Patrick? Will Dr. Drake Sr. ever reappear, or did he go on tour with Eli Love? Will Kate enjoy emptying bedpans and go into nursing school after she loses her job at Couture?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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