Leyla, you got me on my knees...

For the Week of October 15, 2007
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Leyla, you got me on my knees...
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Every time I see Patrick and Leyla together, my stomach gets queasy. I just hate them together.

Every time I see Patrick and Leyla together, my stomach gets queasy. I just hate them together. The writers spent so much time the past year building up Robin and Patrick. We got invested. We were drawn into rooting for them as they came to terms with being in a committed relationship. We watched the tedious months of arguing as they battled their various demons. We worried about Patrick's HIV test. We sat through the minutia that included the two of them fighting over buying a sofa. We laughed as they tried to deal with the fact that their parents were dating. Enter Sultry Nursing Student With Accent. Goodbye Robin and Patrick. If you are a Night Shift viewer, the "will they or won't they" bit is a rerun, as Leyla and Patrick have already done the deed weeks ago on the other show.

Patrick, on his own, is kind of boring. (His altar ego Jason Thompson is delightful however...: ) Patrick is exactly the sort of guy my Mom always tried to fix me up whom I had no interest in. He's handsome and successful, but there's no soul beneath it. Give me a quirky film buff like Dillon or a mythical minded computer nerd like Spinelli, or even a broken but beautiful side of Logan, but Patrick is somewhat vapid. In his spare time, he doesn't go to the theatre or an art museum, or a political rally, or anything of substance. He has one-night stands with random horny nurses, or goes home to race the Matchbox cars around a track in his living room that Santa brought him for his 6th Christmas, or fly off to gamble with his buddies in Vegas. What on Earth would you talk to him about? Robin made him dig a little. She made him think. She drew something out of him that wasn't naturally there, and he was better for it. (Of course, now, Robin is just trolling the halls of the hospital for sperm.)

Leyla, OTOH is a phony. How do I know, you ask? I just know. I can spot a fake a mile away. When she bats her giant Clarice Doe Eyes at Patrick and says "No, no, we can't get involved; I am so focused on my career." her actions prove otherwise. She is has been dogging him around the hospital since day 1. Everywhere Patrick is every minute of the day, Leyla is right behind him. While her fellow nursing students are wandering around the hospital tending to patients and emptying bedpans, Leyla is hanging on Patrick's every word and 2 inches from his side. Ick. She will probably get herself knocked up on purpose and get the baby Robin so desperately wanted Patrick to father for her. And just for the record, in case you were going to lose sleep wondering, when I hear the "Leyla" song in my head, it is not the 90's MTV Unplugged version, but the very definitely Plugged 70's version.

On to bigger and better things; Luke is home. ABC, are you out there? If so, here is my confession. The reason I have stuck around as a viewer of GH for 30 years is Tony Geary, plain and simple. I adore him. I started watching GH in 1977. Tony Geary started in 1978. I was smitten. I still am. When he snuck in to Tracy's massage, and I saw his beautiful perfect face on my screen, I was filled with genuine joy. And, as if Tony being back wasn't gift enough, having him in a feud with Kin Shriner is like Christmas coming early. Which it already has in many department stores in San Diego - who knew this city was so excited to celebrate Jesus' birth that they'd decorate 3 months early?

Luke has already had a brief encounter with Nikolas, and is clever enough to realize something is amiss. Nik and his bloody hand got Luke out before he actually exploded, but every minute he is just about to boil over. Is this a side effect of the poison? Is it Helena doing some mind control? Is the Stavros in him coming out? Does he have a brain tumor? Luckily for Emily, she already went through a mental melt down with Sonny before he was diagnosed as bi-polar, so she is well acquainted with blind rages. She should keep all wine bottles away from Nikolas, just in case. Also, one question... If you are burning your bloody shirt to hide the evidence of a crime you may have committed, wouldn't you notice that an entire bloody shirt cuff had escaped the flames? When I have blackouts and burn my bloody evidence, I don't leave the fireplace until it's all a pile of ashes. (Joke...)

Luke has other worries, like getting Lulu away from Logan Hayes, the Baldwin spawn that he is predisposed to hate. But in many ways, Logan is a lot like the Luke of old, a young man, mixed up with the mob, lost, and looking for salvation in an innocent young blonde who believes in him. I fear the parallels will be lost on him, however. Dear readers, do you recall when Coop and Logan burst on the scene and I didn't give a crap about them? Well, I still don't give a crap about Coop and wouldn't care if he vanished altogether, but Logan? I have done a 180 and his character has grown on me. I look forward to scenes with Lulu and Logan, they an easy rapport and a palpable chemistry. Good pairing, GH. OTOH, when he is with Maxie, I fast forward their scenes. I suspect this won't be a problem for a while since Kirsten Storms DUI charges are probably keeping her busy, which in turn may keep Maxie away for awhile. One can only hope.

Jason has Johnny Zacchara holed up in the penthouse, and from the disembodied voice yelling behind closed doors, we can assume Anthony Zacchara is none too pleased that his son's been kidnapped. I see a bloody battle about to unfold. Hey, it's mid-way to November Sweeps - we've already had a hostage crisis and a hotel fire and a train wreck, so a mob war sounds like a good disaster for sweeps week, right?

Well, yes and no. In all seriousness, would a real big city mob boss work so hard to take a dumpy little town like Port Charles where there's only one diner and a few shipping docs? Well, I guess that could come in handy as the cops at the PCPD are morons who never solve a case or gather enough evidence to convict anyone.

Jerry is making sure Nik isn't convicted of stabbing anyone by lying about his assailant. He has told people privately that it's Nikolas who stabbed him, but described an entirely different man to the cops. Why? Is it a new way to blackmail Nikolas? Or did Nikolas really stab him and Jerry's trying to be a decent guy? Only time will tell.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will we see Liz folding laundry in her new apartment? Will Spinelli ever have to stop talking incessantly and pee after his 14 orange sodas per episode? Will Ric offer Robin some sperm to try to catch up with Sonny by having another baby? Will we ever find out what secret life Big Alice has in the Quartermaine boathouse? Will Jax and Carly make any more cell phone sex tapes and try to blame someone else for their kinky behavior? Will I ever catch up answering all the mail from readers who HATE the Night Shift merged plots? Will Sam wear any clothes this week that cover her breasts?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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