(No) Sympathy for the devil

For the Week of April 5, 2010
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GH Two Scoops: Sympathy for the devil
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I don't have sympathy for Kiefer. I know there are facts and figures to support the logic that people who have been abused in turn abuse.

Dear readers, I must warn you that I am not politically correct. I realize that the GH writers are trying to drum up sympathy for Kiefer by dropping hints that he beat Kristina because he was abused as a child himself. I know this might not be a very popular stand, but sorry ABC; I'm not taking the bait.

I don't have sympathy for Kiefer. I know there are facts and figures to support the logic that people who have been abused in turn abuse. But I also know people who have been abused as children who did NOT grow up and beat their girlfriend or their kids.

Every action we take or don't take is a choice. Kiefer chose to pick up his fist and hit Kristina in the face instead of walking away when he was enraged. There is only one person to blame for Kristina's beating: Kiefer. Of course, one could argue that Kristina is partially responsible for the escalation since she continued to date him after the first time he slapped her.

If Kiefer was abused by his parents, that's sad, but it doesn't justify his behavior toward Kristina. Here's some unsolicited advice from Aunt Tamilu...Kids! If someone is hitting you, tell someone. Tell a teacher, tell one of your friends' moms, tell a trusted adult family member, or tell your pastor or rabbi. Don't let people hurt you. Adults! If you're messed up because someone hurt you as a kid, go get counseling. Don't carry that mess into the next generation of your family. Break the cycle. Don't beat your girlfriend or your kid and say you couldn't help it because of your sad childhood.

Ahem...At least Alexis walked in and finally caught Kiefer in the act so poor Ethan can be redeemed. Kiefer is going to meet his maker very soon at the hand of one of Port Charles's fine citizens, but it's not going to be Sonny. Since I know many of you resist reading spoilers, I won't name the killer here, but if you want to know and can't wait until it airs - e-mail me!

Back to Ethan. There should be a whole week of just people apologizing to Ethan and offering him gifts. I think Sam should (oh wait I can't print what I said in my head because it was X-rated) to apologize to Ethan after she kicked the crap out of him. He just stood there and took it. I think she owes him a HUGE apology. 'Nuff said.

Lucky and Dante made a wonderful good cop/bad cop team trying to get Kiefer to confess, I like them working together. Heck, I just like that we had a scene with two intelligent and honest cops finally being portrayed as the good guys instead of the mob being the heroes for a change. Way to go writers!

They were trying to find Kristina's real attacker before Sonny wrongly killed Ethan, but Sonny won't be available to kill or beat up anyone since his trial drags on.

First, clever prosecutor Claire Walsh used Johnny's thirst for revenge to drive Sonny to erupt in a fit of rage mid-trial by claming he hit Claudia. That's to be expected; Johnny hates Sonny and wants him to pay for his sisters' death.

Not so expected was that Sonny's dear friend Robin's testimony was just as damaging to his case. I was screaming at my TV, "Hey Robin! Shut your yap! You told everyone in town how to testify, but you can't figure it out your own stupid self?"

I mean, really, Robin could have said, "I don't remember." Or "I'm not sure." When Claire said to Robin "It's widely known that you have a photographic memory," I wondered where on earth Claire got that info. Sure, she took an oath and did the moral thing, but...

Readers, right or wrong, if my BFF was on trial for murder and I was called to testify against her as a hostile witness, you can bank on the fact that the lawyers would get *nothing* out of me. I was most definitely Team Carly on this one; Robin needs to learn to stop talking.

Maxie didn't do much better when she let it spill that the car Sonny was driving was a silver sports car belonging to Michael. Hey Maxie, if you wanted to look pale to get out of going to court, you could have washed all your makeup off instead of putting more pale colored makeup on. Just a tip for the future.

Since we last saw Michael packing up his backpack and presumably heading back to town, I fear he's going to walk into a firestorm. Sadly, the Michael who's going to get to give the big climax scenes is probably going to be the wrong Michael, and I'm still sad about that.

In case you haven't heard, we're also losing Aaron Refvem as Morgan. Another blow to loyal fans, but this one at least is somewhat merited because Aaron got a pilot for a show this fall. However, people were asking him about being replaced on Twitter, and he responded that he didn't think he was being replaced, that they had agreed to try to work around his schedule to do both.

Apparently ABC decided not to go that route as the next day, it was announced the role of Morgan had indeed been recast. So still, it sounds like the decision was made without him - online fans knew before he did. Like Mr. Zero. (Please someone, get that reference.)

Back to Maxie. Bradford Anderson gave a sweet performance this week on what could have been Maxie's deathbed, but thankfully Ghost Georgie was there with some whack theology to save the day. Ghost Georgie proclaimed that while most people didn't get to choose if they lived or died, Maxie *did* get to choose. Apparently Maxie is so fabulous, even God bends the rules for her! The thing is, the whole "Maxie in the hospital/Chef Robert" debacle bored me to tears. I wasn't emotionally invested at all and if the writers are out of ideas for Maxie and Spinelli, by all means break them up.

It was delightful to see another old face waltz back into town. The radiant Robin Christopher as Skye is a welcome addition to the Port Charles landscape. My fondest hope is that she also has Lorenzo Alcazar squirreled away somewhere. I realize it's unlikely, but a girl can dream. Maybe Skye will agree to help Jax make Carly jealous and instead they will fall in love again for real. I always thought Skye got a raw deal from Jax when they were married and he dumped her like a hot potato for Brenda years ago. Here's his chance to make it up to her.

Then, of course, Carly will get jealous, sleep with Sonny, and get pregnant. That way Sonny and his posse can have a new kid to mess up!

Speaking of pregnancies, Elizabeth still thinks she has a Cassadine kid growing inside for her and Nikolas to mess up because slimy Helena somehow doctored a second set of paternity tests from an independent lab. Boy, she sure is wily for an old broad.

I give the writers miles and miles of leeway when it comes to Helena. I am willing to buy almost anything. Helena was someone frozen under the hospital for 20 years? Okay, cool. She found out which of a million independent DNA labs Nikolas used to get his backup paternity test and bribe them? Sure, whatever.

Her character is supposed to be campy, she's a tribute to the soap era of my childhood when anything could happen and no one ever asked questions. So, I don't hold Helena to any logical facts. Hear that, writers? Free reign with Helena! I won't mock you no matter what you come up with!

Still, I would like to know how long the paternity issue will drag out. Will Lucky know he's the dad by May sweeps, or is this going to be a LONG story? Of course, they could age the kid 5 years overnight, so I guess it doesn't matter. I figure roundabout the time Elizabeth decides she might as well marry Nikolas and move into Wyndemere, Lucky will rush in just as she reaches the altar and yell, "Wait! I'm the baby daddy!" And Liz will be all "Damn! I almost got to quit my job!" and Nikolas will be all "Damn! I almost got to marry my brother's ex-wife!" And Helena will be all "While those ninnies bicker, I'm going to steal the baby and slide out through the secret underground tunnels."

Okay, I made all that up and used bad grammar on purpose for comic effect. Anyway, you get the idea. One more thing about Liz, what the frak is up with all the laundry? Every time we see Liz, she is folding clothes. She never washes dishes, mops the floors, or scrubs out her toilet, but that girl can take on a pile of laundry! Maybe Gram is too old to handle babysitting anymore and didn't wash any clothes for Jake and Cam while their mommy was in Shadybrook.

Readers, I think we have a winner. I like Maya Ward. First and foremost, I am happy to see a little more color in Port Charles, it was starting to be the whitest town in America. Secondly, I liked the easy rapport between Lucky and Maya. In my opinion, that coupling has potential. Can you imagine how over the moon Laura would be if her son and Mary Mae's granddaughter connected? That might even bring her home from Paris! (Although, in Laura's defense, if I had an excuse to be in Paris again, I'd certainly milk it for as long as possible, too.) Maya appears to have some of her grandmother's sensitivities and soulfulness, so I am going to enjoy watching this play out.

Rewind to Sonny and trial. Maurice Benard - Wow. The scene where he exploded in full view of Claire was riveting. I wanted to say "Sonny! Shut up. She's right behind you!" but I wanted to see him explode and so did you. Admit it. I'd love to be Sonny's interior designer, they get to sell him new furniture and art every six weeks or so when he busts the place up.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Sonny's dad Mike remember his son is on trial for murder and stop gambling long enough to show up and support him? Will Coleman work to keep the jury sequestered a few more weeks so he can have fun with Kate in his hotel room? Will Lulu take Maxie's advice and stop bad-mouthing Sonny to Dante before Dante decides he likes him when he learns Sonny is covering for little brother Michael? Will Jason help Kiefer's murderer hide the body and will Franco be watching?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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