Boom boom pow

For the Week of July 5, 2010
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GH Two Scoops: Boom boom pow
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A car bomb is rigged and intended to blow up a mobster, but there's a pretty young girl in its path.

A car bomb is rigged and intended to blow up a mobster, but there's a pretty young girl in its path...

Does that sound familiar? It should -- that's the way Sonny's first wife, Lily, died. And it looks as if history may repeat itself, but this time with Sonny's own daughter. Kristina hates Sonny now just because she feels he abused Claudia and women in general. Can you imagine how much she will hate him once she realizes he's the sort of guy who would blow someone up for dating her? I can't imagine she'll ever forgive him.

You know, my dad hated some of the guys I dated. Two of them this year confessed to me that my Dad scared them. Once I came home on the back of a motorcycle with some guy and my Dad marched out into the driveway with his large tattoo-covered body and got up in the guy's face: "Am I EVER going to see my daughter on the back of your motorcycle again?" The guy whimpered, "No sir," took off, and was never heard from again. My Dad certainly may have intimidated undesirable dates, but he never made them EXPLODE.

Sonny could stop the whole mess just by making a call to Johnny and warning him -- but will he do it in time? Or will he and his massive ego try to beat the clock and get there before Kristina dies? If Sonny actually makes the call and stops the bomb, I'll reconsider my general disgust of Sonny's character. But I don't anticipate that happening.

Rumor has it that Johnny will save Kristina's life, thereby indebting Sonny to him. But in the aftermath, Olivia will dump Johnny because she can't handle the mob violence anymore. Mind you, readers, I know that's what a woman *should* do, but I'm going to hate to see Olivia and Johnny break up -- I really like them together. Sadly, I think this is meant to pave the way for Johnny to hook up with Brook, who's been sniffing around him since the night she got to town.

Every time I criticize Sonny, some of you get really mad. But please understand -- I LOVE Maurice Benard. I think he's a great actor, a handsome man, and an all-around nice guy. I even feel sympathy for Sonny's character -- I think he DOES love his kids and tries to do right by people. But in real life, people learn from their mistakes and grow. Sonny never does. I want the writers to give Sonny more of a brain. For instance, you'd think after Lily died years ago, he would have crossed car bombs off his list of "safe ways to whack someone." But he didn't. Sonny-fail!

Alexis has a fail of her own this week -- her "watching Kristina like a hawk" claim doesn't really pan out. If Molly saw the SAT reminder card on the fridge, why didn't Alexis? Man, I wish my Mom had been like Alexis -- easily distracted, gone a lot, regularly numbed by wine -- but no, my Mom knew where I was every minute, and frankly, she still does!

Alexis let Kristina leave the house alone, knowing that A) a mob war is brewing, B) the serial killer that has it out for anyone connected to Jason is on the loose, and C) Kristina lies through her teeth all the time! Alexis! Wake up! Thankfully Sam went on her own spy mission and uncovered the truth. At least one of the Davis girls was tuned in.

Another woman who was tuned in this week was Elizabeth. After Nikolas agreed to pay for Shirley's surgery, Elizabeth finally remembered "Oh yeah, this is that really nice guy I've known for years." This storyline has troubled me because it blew up some of the most central and beautiful relationships of the show -- Lucky and Nikolas and their beautiful brotherly bond, and the always supportive friendship between Nikolas and Elizabeth.

Hopefully we are on the road to recovering at least the Nik/Liz relationship. I still have my fears that Nikolas and Elizabeth will reconnect, and right about the time they decide to marry for their baby's sake, the bomb will drop that Lucky is the baby's father. Just a hunch.

So, one relationships heals just as another is about to blow -- I think it's fairly obvious that Lisa and Patrick will end up in bed together any second now. The obvious way to celebrate a successful brain surgery is to bang your ex-girlfriend while your wife is out of town. Everyone knows that! Rumor has it that Patrick and Lisa will get it on, but then Patrick will regret it and back off. In turn Lisa will go all Fatal Attraction on Patrick.

I'm not looking forward to that storyline at all. Readers, I confess -- I haven't really liked Robin since the day she told AJ about Michael. So, giving Robin another reason to feel morally superior to anyone is a bad day in TammyLand. I think we all know this is going to mean months of listening to Robin shriek at people. Blech!

I like Patrick in general, but he's been kind of a jerk for the past month -- between punching out his boss and spying on his ex-girlfriend, so I'm not saying his behavior is at all justified, just that I'm not looking forward to the inevitable outcome of Lisa and Patrick's affair. And, poor Steven -- he's such a nice guy and he's going to get hurt by this, too. He needs a new love interest soon -- he's too valuable a character to leave in limbo.

Now let's get down to it...Franco. Crazed artist/serial killer Franco is back in town and up to his old tricks. He had a chance encounter with Diane, and I was shocked she didn't recognize him. Wouldn't Diane know the face of the man who was out to get her top client?

Then, when I saw him hovering around Jason's door -- my head started reeling with the absurdity of those scenes... Wouldn't the doorman at the Harborview Towers have recognized serial killer Franco's creepy face? You'd think he would've been alerted. Wouldn't Jason or even the cops have said, "Hey, doorman, be on the lookout for this crazed serial killer!" and shown them a photo of Franco.

Or, even assuming the doorman reads the paper and heard about Franco the last time he was in town and kidnapped Sam and Lulu...But, apparently he had no idea who Franco was at all. But we do. I have to say even though I know he's a whack job, he sure was looking fine when he showed up in Maxie's office all suited up. If I were Maxie, I'd be tempted to do him again for old time's sake.

But maybe Maxie will think of how much she hurt Spinelli...I'm glad to see Spinelli with the lights on and dressed again, but his heart isn't all the way back yet. It's done him good to have "Stone Cold" back at home and a project to work on. It really cracked me up when Dante said, "So, let me get this straight... Interpol can't find this woman, but HE can?" incredulously pointing at Spinelli. It IS pretty funny.

First, a note to GH cameramen... Hey -- Camera Guys! If Spinelli is supposed to be reading an article about Franco's mom, don't show a close-up of his computer screen open to his Outlook e-mail instead. It kind of ruins the fake typing and hacking illusion. Or maybe I just underestimated the powers of the Jackal and he can see inside unopened emails?

I never underestimate Luke Spencer, but part of that storyline is a little murky, too. So let me get this straight... Tracy had ten million for Luke to steal? My ATM only lets you withdraw 500 bucks a day. Did she have the cash in her underwear drawer? Tracy had all the locks changed on the doors at the mansion, but didn't take Luke's name off her bank account? I can't help myself, I think too much.

I certainly don't understand Ethan. I can tell you if Luke Spencer offered me a con job in Monte Carlo, I'd be packed and out the door in ten minutes flat. (Hear that, universe? I'm game.) I fear this means Tony Geary is on vacation, and my big hope of the universe is that he comes back home from his jaunting around with Laura. Let me tell you my talk of Laura sparked quite the debate last week. There are people firmly in the "Luke and Laura forever" camp, and people firmly in the "Luke's outgrown Laura and belongs with Tracy now" camp -- I'm glad I mention things even when people disagree with me because I simply enjoy a good spirited debate.

The Maxie/Matt/Spinelli plotline is about to come to a head soon, too. Spinelli is going to witness Maxie and Matt kissing. I know it will break his heart. I can't imagine another love interest for the poor strange creature. Well, they tried Winifred for a while but that didn't pan out. Speaking of which, today I was being such a nerd one of my friends called me Winifred. In fact that exact quote was "Even Winifred thinks you're a geek." Ouch!

My favorite comedic moment of the week was the catfight between Kate and Olivia over sleazebag Coleman. Kate, who used to be too good to be seen with Sonny in public, is now in a dive bar brawling with her cousin over Coleman and being hostile about Olivia's abundant cleavage. Very entertaining. Maybe instead of karaoke night, Coleman should have female mud wrestling -- that will draw a crowd.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will the entire PCPD show up at Jason's penthouse again to guard him, who's already wearing an ankle monitor, versus looking for the highly slippery serial killer Franco? Will we find out why Franco sends Maxie 66 roses instead of Matt's single rose? Will Alexis get an ankle monitor for Kristina, since it's clear she can't be trusted? Will Ethan realize he'd rather be in Monte Carlo swindling people than blowing up in a parking garage and head out to find Luke? Will Dante buy a lock for the elevator that opens into his apartment now that the sick freak who strapped his girlfriend to a bomb is back in town? Will Shirley make Patrick Drake a special piece of jewelry for saving her brain?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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