It's time to rally the troops. You heard me. Get out your smart phones. Start texting and emailing. Hit the social network sites. Hire a skywriter. Heck, go old school and pick up a telephone. I don't care how you do it, but get out there and tell anyone who will listen to start watching General Hospital, and do it now.
Why are you still reading this? Go!
Call your old college roommates, dorm friends, bosses, coworkers, and neighbors that used to watch GH. Call your cousin, mom, grandma, boyfriend, uncle, or aunt, who you got hooked on the show years ago. Call anyone and everyone who used to watch but may no longer. Tell them to get a DVR or dust off the VCR, if they aren't home during the day. We need to get ratings up and show ABC and General Hospital that we are not going down without a fight.
The news this week that ABC cancelled All My Children and One Life to Live stunned fans, despite persistent rumors recently that the shows were headed that way. Yes, daytime has been an endangered species for several years, but many thought that the ABC afternoon daytime lineup was untouchable. But, it's clear now. No show is safe.
Daytime dramas have been given a death sentence, and one by one, they are being put to death. Gone are the monster ratings that once were synonymous with daytime television. Ratings are a miserable fraction of years past. Instead of keeping expensive scripted daytime dramas, the networks are offering up cheaper reality talk shows as replacements for the afternoon timeslots.
ABC President Brian Frons recently said that viewers want more talk shows and reality programs. (Take a moment to digest that.) I don't know what world he lives in, because the one I live in already has a talk show on at any given time of the day, or night, to tell me how to dress thinner, cook the perfect pasta, and decorate my house on a budget. I don't know who Frons has been talking to that could be telling him we need more of these ubiquitous chat fasts.
They want ratings, well let's give them ratings. Get involved, soap fans, and do your part. Tell anyone and everyone that Brenda is back, and that Jason has abs of steel and knows how to work a black t-shirt and leather jacket. Tell them we have a blue-eyed-billionaire corporate raider who surfs; a romantic handsome prince; a moody mobster; gorgeous, gutsy women; and we have Luke Spencer. We have heartbreaking drama, splendid comedy, dreamy romance and yes, gun-toting gangsters. Where else can you get all of that in one short hour? Nowhere.
I may be Don Quixote tilting at windmills on this mission, but I don't care. Naysayers, I'm sure you think soap fans are fighting a losing battle. Logically, I know all the arguments are against us: the landscape of television has changed; both sexes work full-time jobs and don't have time for soaps; it's cheaper to produce reality TV. And while that all may be true, the bottom line is networks can't argue with ratings. So, if we can get eyeballs on the show, then that's our only chance. Do I expect that the 20 million people watching Dancing With the Stars will suddenly start watching GH? No, I know it's not 1983. But, I do think we can improve the dreadful ratings that daytime is currently garnering.
Shockingly, there will be only four daytime dramas left on the air when AMC and OLTL depart. To think that two years ago, CBS had four soaps on its lineup alone, well, it's tough to comprehend that the iconic genre of soaps has one foot in the grave. With only four left, they should all be topnotch. And I hope that the shows make changes promptly to get them that way. If the writing is poor, bring in some new blood. Good writers are out there! (Check out an episode of Modern Family, if you don't believe me.)
With only four soaps left, the networks should be able to lure the best folks in the business. Maybe they can find another Douglas Marland or Agnes Nixon that will honor show history and core families, as well as bring exciting new ideas to the landscape. The show honchos should also take advantage of fans. There has never been better customer feedback than a soap fan. If thousands protest when you fire a fan favorite or long-time character, then listen to them, and change your plan. Give them what they want, to an extent, and they'll give you ratings and loyalty -- Sonny Corinthos style. It's the best hope daytime has right now, or it may go the way of the eight-track tape and the bag phone.
Meanwhile:
I don't want Michael signing up for his black t-shirt and leather jacket anytime soon. One Quartermaine in the mob is enough for a lifetime. We've already seen this story played out, so, I don't want to see it again. He needs to find another career path. Paging Dr. Monica Quartermaine! Now would be a perfect time for "Take Your Grandson To Work Day" and get him interested in medicine, perhaps specializing in traumatic brain injury. If Michael doesn't want to wear a suit, may I suggest scrubs? It's time he lived up to the Quartermaine name, not down to the Corinthos one.
Brenda went on ad nauseaum about Lucian and bonding as a family with Sonny and building playgrounds in the backyard. After that perfect mental family picture, I can't blame poor Kristina, I'd be looking for some drugs, too. I understand Brenda probably doesn't realize all of Kristina's daddy issues, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how devastated poor Krissy was at Brenda's perfect-family talk, when Krissy just wants some time with Sonny herself. Please, give us better, consistent writing for Brenda. She isn't this person!
Best Lines of the Week:
(Nik and Brook say goodbye, and she tells the prince how grateful she is for their time together.)
Brook: "I've learned a lot, and I'm not just talking about which fork to use."
(Alexis and Jax discuss the fact that Brenda's newfound son is now living at a mafia boss's house.)
Alexis: "I realize I'm in no position to judge, but knowing what I know, I have to question the advisability of Brenda moving her son into Sonny's house. Does she not know that the odds are her child will either be kidnapped, shot at, or blown up?"
(Diane asks Max how Sonny is handling being a new stepfather to Brenda's three-year-old son.)
Max: "Great! Mr. C is a natural dad."
Diane: (laughing) "No, no, he naturally knows how to create children. There's a big difference."
