For the Week of September 12, 2011
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GH Two Scoops: Electricity
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As you might have noticed, my column is late. It's late because some Homer Simpson-ish employee pulled the wrong switch somewhere in Arizona and took out power to most of the Southwest. When the power came back on, the surge blew up my wireless router and I am still, five days later, without wireless Internet.

As you might have noticed, my column is late. It's late because some Homer Simpson-ish employee pulled the wrong switch somewhere in Arizona and took out power to most of the Southwest. When the power came back on, the surge blew up my wireless router and I am still, five days later, without wireless Internet. This means I have to type up my column at home and then find a way to get it off of my computer and take it someplace where I can actually e-mail it. File under "First World Problems."

Electricity is a vital thing, both in Tamilu's house and in love. Lulu and Dante have electricity, but his refusal to tell Lulu other people's secrets has caused her to write Dante off as a liar. Personally, I think that's unfair. If Dante was lying to her about picking up hookers, I can see her problem, but him not divulging the details of an ongoing police investigation, even one that concerns her brother, isn't the same. But then again, I'm a liar, so I understand Dante's kind.

I will take my friend's secrets to my grave and would lie to protect a friend 100 out of 100 times, so Dante and I are like soul mates. Maybe I should date him. I bet I could get him to give me his key.

Sam is a much better girlfriend. I am so glad that Jason woke up knowing who she was and still wanting to marry her. I was afraid he'd wake up asking for Keesha or Robin. Sam was doing her best to stay strong, but when you have to wrap your mind around the possibility that the only man you have ever loved and who has ever truly loved you is facing a potentially life-threatening illness, of course she cried out to God, and wept. Sam had to face, if only for a moment, the possibility that the she might have to live in a world without Jason, and that idea was wholly unbearable.

Even though Jason faces a good prognosis now, things aren't all rosy for Sam. In the midst of wedding planning, she has to be concerned that her baby sister Kristina will have to be pushed down the aisle in a wheelchair. A random bone fragment is swirling around in Kristina's body, and surgery by second chair doctor Matt Hunter is all that stands between her and paralysis. Kristina is counting on Ethan to help her through. Call me crazy, but in spite of their age difference, I actually think there is a sweetness lingering in their interactions.

Back in the day, Nikolas thought Emily was just a little girl with a crush, but ten years later, Emily ended up being the love of Nikolas' life, so who's to say Kristina won't be Ethan's next decade?

I loved the scene where Sonny went to Kristina in the hospital. Her anger at his lifestyle and her overall disgust with how he makes a living melted into a little girl who needed her Daddy in spite of all their differences. Powerful stuff.

Garin Wolf is wise to write such a strong storyline for Lexi Ainsworth -- she takes every storyline she's given and wrings every ounce of emotion out of it. That girl can act rings around half of Hollywood. That's the thing that's most troubling to me about the demise of Daytime -- there is so much talent in the soap world, and I can never fathom why someone who can't act gets chosen for roles over someone who can act but isn't as widely known. Oh wait -- greed. The bottom line. What was I thinking?

And, since today is actually Monday and I saw today's episode, I have to add this to my list of gripes...I hate the new Kate. Megan Ward was a fan favorite, so why they would recast her with someone so wooden is beyond me. I'd love to know the thought process behind that decision. "Yes, we have a character with a rich history and lots of scenes with our leading man, the fans really like the actress who plays her, so -- say, let's fire that lady and hire an entirely different actress to play the role!" Huh?

At least they didn't recast Skye. I'm delighted to see Robin Christopher back and that she actually has something to do. Her interactions with Anthony, Johnny, Edward, Tracy, and Jax have been wonderful. But I'm even fonder of her scenes with Ethan. Can you imagine Luke coming home to one of his sons hooking up with his old girlfriend, one of his sons strung out on pills, and his daughter running the Haunted Star? Juicy options, all.

When is Luke coming back anyway? It seems his summer vacation is lasting longer than usual. I miss him.

As much as I love soaps, I always have a love affair with one character that anchors my viewing. On One Life to Live, it's Todd Manning -- the Roger Howarth version. On The Young and the Restless, it's Jack Abbott. Never cared for Victor, I always root for Jack. On The Bold and the Beautiful, it's Brooke. I know she's a mess, but I love her. On General Hospital, it's been Luke since I was 17 years old.

And looking at that list, I see a common thread. The anti-heroes. The people that have had a lot of tough breaks. The people who push on through adversity and every now and then get the girl, or the guy, or their dad's company, or get to drink their whiskey in peace.

Luke's the heart of the show, and although I still watch when he's on extended vacations, I know he will be back. When he retires and I know I will never see him again, that will be a crushing blow.

And that's assuming GH lasts long enough for anyone to retire. Readers, I implore you -- do not watch one single show that ABC is putting on to replace All My Children or OLTL. Boycott every stupid reality, cooking, talk, whatever show they air in those time slots until the end of time. No mater how good it is, if it wins 15 Emmys, if every person in my office watches it and thinks I am a loser because I don't -- I will never watch it. Yes, I am that stubborn.

Luke's son Lucky isn't living up to his name. First, he lost the body of his dead wife to her snippy sister Megan -- if I had a conversation with her, I'm sure I'd start popping pills, too. But Lucky, who apparently has never gone to an Earth Day celebration and seen the booth about not flushing your pills down the sink, poured his supply of stolen vicodin into the Port Charles water supply.

In the interim, Liz, fresh off a sweet picnic with Matt Hunter on the GH rooftop, decided to follow the drug thief on her own -- like she's Veronica Mars or something -- and got herself kidnapped. I confess I like the budding friendship of Matt and Liz. It could provide hours of catfights with Maxie if only she were paying attention to Matt at all, but she's still obsessed with Spinelli/Jackal P.I., who is back to his old self, unbeknownst to Maximista.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Lieutenant Taggert come back to the PCPD to call Michael "Anger Boy Junior"? Will Abby be able to fend off Tracy's barbs at ELQ alone after Michael took the ultra fun job of shuffling bags of coffee in an empty warehouse? Will Anthony find any more of Sonny's kids randomly passed out on the docks so he can exercise his good citizenship by dialing 9-1-1? Will Carly ever get the hang of not upsetting someone fresh out of brain surgery? Will Patrick go home and take a nice shower and a nap while Matt botches Kristina's surgery? Will Josslyn wonder why neither of the parents who were fighting so hard to keep her have spent any time with her since the trial?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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