Nice day for a white wedding (with eggroll)

For the Week of September 26, 2011
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GH Two Scoops: Nice day for a white wedding
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James Franco dancing around in his creepy death studio with Sam's empty wedding dress while freaky nightmare- inducing wind up monkeys clash symbols together was soap camp villainy at its finest.

James Franco dancing around in his creepy death studio with Sam's empty wedding dress while freaky nightmare- inducing wind up monkeys clash symbols together was soap camp villainy at its finest.

Franco missed Sam and Jason's wedding because they had the good sense to elope knowing that any scheduled wedding in Pt. Charles ends in bloodshed, but Franco's strategically placed cameras were still able to track Sam and Jason to the impromptu Chinese Restaurant wedding reception. (Wonder what the fortune cookies say!)

Sam and Jason's wedding was sublime and the addition of Lila and Alan's wedding rings gifted by Edward and Monica made it all the more touching. So many nods to GH history this week that it warmed the hearts of long-term fans like me.

Maxie's detailed wedding plans were felled by Franco's intervention, and yet their wedding was exactly the sort of wedding Sam and Jason secretly wanted. It was a lovely low-key ode to their love in jeans and jackets, simple and emotionally exquisite.

True love doesn't need a ten thousand dollar wedding. It merely needs two people whose hearts are bound for life to make the commitment they've already formed in their hearts and carried around their souls for years to be permanent and the setting is unimportant. Sure, a lovely setting is romantic, but for Sam and Jason, this was perfect.

Frankly, I don't know why they would have planned a wedding at a church where Jason's best friend Sonny's wedding went so dreadfully wrong anyway!

As one wedding ends, Lulu is hoping another is about to launch as she waits to accept Dante's marriage proposal all dolled up like Cinderella in his apartment, but alas, Dante won't be arriving anytime soon. You'd think after about a million bad things happening on the Port Charles docks and warehouses that all the PCPD cops would take back up when entering said area. Sure, Lucky was still mildly stoned, but Ronnie would have worked in a pinch.

But Dante went alone and got shot in the back by crazy Anthony. Anthony's been a busy guy this week, what with running a drug ring, keeping Lisa Niles alive in some secret clinic someplace, wooing Tracy, tending to his plants- he's a real multi-tasker.

It's a good week on GH when two villains as magnificently evil as Franco and Anthony Z are on canvas at the same time.

There's a third villain lurking, but you can't really see them. Let's just call them "Casting Director."

Garin Wolf: "Hey, writers! I want to revisit the romance of Sonny and Kate!"

Casting Director: "Oops, I accidentally deleted mega-popular Megan Ward's number from my iPhone, so I'll just recast her with a totally new actress."

It must have gone something like that, because I can't think of another good reason for GH to have recast a popular actress with someone new. It doesn't matter if the NuKate is a good actor, or a bad actor - it's just that she's not the person who originated the role and that we already love. She's not the person who has oodles of history and flashback scenes with Sonny that GH can use to reengage us in this storyline.

I understand sometimes actors quit and soaps scramble around to find a good person to replace them. When Sarah J Brown left the role of Carly, Tamara Braun stepped in and was instantly wonderful in the role. When TB quit, they replaced Carly with Jennifer Bransford. Ick. Everyone clamored to get rid of her because she was NOT a good replacement for Carly. Laura Wright came in and is a splendid Carly. Sometimes recasts work and sometimes they don't. But if the original actress didn't quit - why would you switch actors? I know it's probably a done deal, but if I ruled ABC, Megan Ward would still be playing Kate Howard.

Speaking of ABC - have you ever seen them pimp a show as much as they are pimping the soap killer "The Chew" (Or "The Spew" or The Poo" if you're on Twitter and see all the angry comments.) If anyone who claims to love soaps watches this show, I will despise you. ABC cancelled All My Children and One Life to Live because they think they can make more money on their cooking show. I want this to be the biggest bomb ABC has ever had, I hope they only have like 12 viewers when it airs, like the parents of the hosts and no one else. Don't watch this show. Please. I don't care what yummy recipe they air. Google it and find the recipe online and never, ever, ever watch that show.

Okay, the political campaign portion of the column has ended. Back to GH...

I'm glad Luke is back, but I'm tired of his lurking in the shadows and I'd prefer him to actually interact with someone other than Skye. I'm sure all those big reunion scenes I am Jonesing for are going to be held off until sweeps week, but I wish they'd hurry!

Since Luke is skulking around under hats I can't quite tell, but it looks to me like Tony Geary may have had some work done on his face; it's a bit smoother than when he left. Frankly, I hate that. I prefer the wrinkles and the character. I said the same thing after Jackie Zeman and Leslie Charleson had facelifts. I know Showbiz is a brutal industry, but I wish it was okay for old people to look old in our society. I think John Ingle is beautiful and I love every wrinkle on his face, and the same with Jane Elliot. They have aged gracefully and naturally and I DIG that about them.

I also dig that Damian Spinelli is himself again. But listen up Garin Wolf, I can't bear to watch his heart being broken continually for months, so Matt and Maxie need to break up now. They never had anything in common and zero chemistry and Maxie and Spinelli are oozing chemistry, and dare I say it, I like Elizabeth and Matt have a little chemistry, too. Let Liz and Matt cavort until Lucky sobers up and wants her back, it will create some good tension.

I'm not quite sure what it says about me, but Spinelli, the socially awkward computer nerd who speaks in a language no one understands might very well be my favorite character on GH. When he was acting as the very suave Jackal PI, I didn't care about him a bit because all that vulnerability was missing. But the instant I saw the tenderness appear in his eyes again, I openly wept. That character is needed on GH and in the world in general. Bradford Anderson has mad acting skills, and I hope his dual personality scores him an Emmy next year.

Another fine actor in GH's treasure trove, Lexi Ainsworth had a few powerful scenes prior to her surgery, but she's already all dolled up and standing u out of her wheelchair for Sam's wedding, so I guess we won't need to spend anymore time fretting about her health.

It appears that whole plotline was merely the vehicle to launch an accelerated mob war between Sonny and Johnny Z. I kind of like Johnny upping his mob side and wrangling control of the organization away from his lunatic father, but since Anthony followed him, it's grown into a much larger war than he expected. Sonny won't take kindly to someone shooting his son in the back. On the upside, this will convince Carly to keep Morgan at boarding school for a while and then maybe they can bring him home for the summer in the form of Aaron Revfem.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Lulu ask Kate for a lunch break from the job she quit but keeps working for anyway? Will we find out which lunatic member of the Cassadine clan is roaming around Wyndemere writing Laura's name in dust with his gloved hand? Will Ethan convince Lulu to reopen the casino and get beat up again? Will Shawn lose his guarding Sonny job if people get shot at Jason's reception?

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