They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky. They're altogether ooky: the Cassadine family.
It's not Halloween yet, but that didn't stop General Hospital from debuting a spine-tingling Wyndemere mansion storyline this week. I don't know about you, but the hair on the back of my neck is still standing up from Laura's life-sized portrait "crying." That was one of the creepiest scenes I've seen on GH in a long time. If small children suddenly start appearing, telling Ethan that everyone in that house dies, I may be forced to watch the show through finger-covered eyes.
I love a good mystery, and this one looks like it's going to be a thrill ride of a tale. So far, I have plenty of questions. Who slashed Laura's portrait? Who is lurking in those secret passageways? Why didn't Ethan bring a flashlight to go exploring in the dark? Why can't Nikolas get a decent alarm system to protect that mausoleum, so every Helena, Luke, and Ethan can't break in and sit on the sheet-covered sofas?
Most of you know I'm spoiler-free and some of you have already emailed me guesses as to what's happening at the C mansion. Some of you think that an evil Cassadine family member, whom we've never met, has moved into Wyndemere. Others are hoping it's Stefan, or Stavros, or even little Jake, being nursed back to health by Helena. What we do know is that someone there has a vendetta against Laura. Her slashed face and "crying" portrait gave us a clue.
Cue the sinister music, fog machine, and bats. Genie Francis has been MIA from The Young and the Restless lately, so it's nice to see her getting some screen time on GH, although it's only her portrait, at this point. But unless Francis returns to GH, it will be tough to do a convincing revenge plot here, unless this villain goes after Lulu, Lucky, and Luke.
I've always loved the Cassadine/Spencer dynamic, but without Stefan, Laura, and Nikolas, I'm not sure how this will work. If GH could manage to lure back Francis, I would be happier than a spider at cold, dark Wyndemere. I'm a huge fan of Tracy and Luke. I find them realistically refreshing as a married couple. But who wouldn't love to see how Luke would handle his ex-wife living in the same town with his "new" wife. Meanwhile, I can't wait to see what mystery unfolds at the mansion with the Addams family, er, Cassadines.
I don't know how many times I've said this, but it deserves repeating. Please, please, please, hire someone to revamp the PCPD. Paging Robert Scorpio! The first order of business should be to give all the officers and detectives eye exams, because not one cop in Sonny's warehouse noticed that huge pile of white powder on the floor. Nope, only Shawn -- Port Charles' own MacGyver -- had the detective skills to notice the drugs. And don't get me started on the fact that Shawn outwitted the cops and built a bomb in the bathroom, to distract them. Double sigh. I so long for the day when the cops in PC are smart again.
In my last column, I called Jason's coma storyline a "dud" for teasing us that he would wake up remembering his past. Well, he certainly had a strange look this week after his romp with Sam. What was that? Is he going to have flashbacks? Pretty please let that transpire. Or perhaps the show will go a soapier route and give him a split personality or some kind of ESP about people and danger. I vote for the former, please. I've had enough "soapy" drama.
Jason Morgan shirtless. There are no words. I don't know how this new regime at GH got Steve Burton to show some skin, but on behalf of grateful soap fans everywhere, I say thank you.
What was going on with Kate at the hospital? I haven't seen anyone riled up like that since Johnny called Anthony's precious orchids "houseplants." Is Kate suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder from her wedding-day shooting? Does she have a child somewhere, and Dante's shooting got her mommy genes in protective gear? Were she and Dante close off-screen, and we don't know about it? Kate's reaction to Dante's shooting seemed bigger than Olivia's. It was odd.
So, now mob-loathing cop Ronnie is going to mob-employed Spinelli to ask for computer help for getting security footage. Really? The Port Charles Police Department gets worse every week.
GH is so good right now in building anticipation that I had to jump ahead on my DVR to watch the Dante scenes. I couldn't wait to see Sonny, Lulu, Olivia, and the rest of the town find out that he'd taken a bullet.
I'm thinking that Alexis getting overheated at the wedding isn't just about her discomfort that her daughter just married a mobster. The hot flashes, the snapping at Kate, yep, I think it's possible that Alexis could be embarking on a menopause storyline. Sonny, you have been warned.
There were so many storyline seeds being planted this week, I feel like I'm walking through a garden full of discoveries when I watch the show. Olivia and Steve had a lengthy conversation about his time in Memphis that basically told us very little. We know that he was into the music scene and that the circumstances of why he left are sketchy. It looks like Steve may be getting his own storyline soon, too. Let's just hope it involves him getting some help at the hospital. He single-handedly was trying to save poor bleeding Dante, until Epiphany came in to help.
I'm stunned that Alexis cut a deal with "the Devil" about Kristina's future. What she conspired with Sonny to do is still a mystery, but whatever it is, I don't like it. Alexis and Kristina have always had a cool mother-daughter dynamic, and striking secret deals with Krissy's mobster father to head off a career in fashion is going to do some damage.
The line to smack Michael starts here. Michael is such a hard character to understand and like lately. I think I need to let go of the notion that Michael would be a cool Quartermaine. He's a Corinthos, and he proved it this week. End of story. Maybe he really is the guy to follow in Sonny's footsteps, instead of Jason, because Michael was cold and callous when he saw his brother lying on the ground bleeding to death. He didn't even want to call 9-1-1! He was more concerned with covering evidence. (Banging head on desk!) Then, after a few tears of remorse, he quickly decided he was all in with his father to take down the shooter. Sigh.
Lulu has been working my last nerve the past couple weeks. I get that she's distraught that Dante was shot, but screaming at Lucky that, "It should have been you!" Well, that was just cruel.
Was anyone a little teary-eyed at Jason and Sam's wedding reception? From the rings to the conversations, I was digging the "unconventional" wedding, despite that I've never been a big Jason and Sam fan. Spinelli's toast got me all choked up when he said, "They are my family." Awww. He was so sincere and so sweet. I just hope Jason remembers the "family" comment when he realizes Spinelli can't remember his computer skills and can't find the missing millions.
Who is the new female cop? Is she a permanent fixture? She sure had a lot of lines for just a day player.
I was so annoyed lately about the lost engagement ring gag for Sam. I mean, how many times could Maxie lose the thing, really? It had become silly. Well, I stand corrected. The fact that Edward gave Lila's ring to Sam and Monica gave Alan's ring to Jason was a touch of brilliance. I'm glad Maxie never found that rock.
Where can I get some of those love fortune cookies? Every fortune seemed spot-on. From Alexis' "Love is behind you," before turning around and running into Mac, to "Love is nontraditional" on Maxie's fortune to "Love wears a familiar face" for Kate. And it seems that the newly married Morgans must be getting ready to get a baby on board, if one can believe their fortunes about the "child" and that "Love comes in threes." The only one I'm worried about is Abby. Her fortune was blank. Um, Abby, you might want to keep Max and Milo close in the future.
(Alexis guzzles water and fans herself, while talking to Sonny.)
Alexis: "Are you hot?"
Sonny: "Well, there are a few women that think so."
(Mobster Jason is nervous at his wedding, when his new mother-in-law, the lawyer, gets up to speak.)
Alexis: "All right everyone. The mother of the bride has a toast."
Jason: "And so am I."
This line was from a couple weeks ago, when I didn't write column, but it deserves a place here. Thank you Two Scoops reader Anna for sending it!
(Mobsters and father-and-son Anthony and Johnny have another fight.)
Anthony: "Kids, you can't live with them; you can't shoot them." after being force-fed concertos to cut yourself by.... Look at the bright side, if I do end up dead, you can play your little doomsday arias at my funeral."
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