Take my husband -- please!

For the Week of January 16, 2012
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GH Two Scoops: Take my husband -- please!
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As ABC's only remaining soap, General Hospital is in a precarious state: will bringing on One Life to Live characters help boost the ratings or will it cause fans to revolt? And why is Robin so quick to hand off her husband? Get ready to dish in this week's Two Scoops.

When exactly did Robin start channeling Henny Youngman?

Robin's request for Liz to hook up with Patrick, so that Patrick and Liz could be one big, happy, blended family was just baffling. Methinks Robin has been watching too many episodes of The Brady Bunch.

Does Robin really believe that playing house with Liz and her children would make Patrick and Emma miss Robin less? And what about love? Doesn't Robin think that both Patrick and Liz deserve to be with people whom they are in love with? Robin's control issues have reached new heights, and frankly, it's downright frustrating to hear her justify lying to and abandoning her family.

I'm not interested in seeing Liz and Patrick embark on a romance, but a part of me thinks that it would serve Robin right, if she returned to Port Charles to find Liz and Patrick happily playing house. Don't get me wrong, I've been a fan of Robin for years, but what she is doing is not only wrong, it's cruel. Patrick and Emma deserve to know the truth, but instead Robin seems quite content to keep the two most important people in her life in the dark. In doing so, she's denying them closure, if the worst should happen, and Robin dies.

I'm thrilled that Liz refused to make such a ridiculous promise, and then insisted that Robin talk to Patrick. Unfortunately, Robin lied without blinking, something that Robin seems to be doing with shocking ease these days. I have lost so much respect for this character, which breaks my heart, because I don't want to see her leaving on such bad terms.

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel obligated to admit that I lost a dear friend on Halloween, suddenly and unexpectedly. She left behind a seven year-old daughter, so this story hits very close to home, because I have an up-close and personal view of this situation. I know just how devastating the sudden loss of a parent can be, and the effects that it has on a child, because I'm watching it unfold every day.

That's why I'm so angry every time I hear Robin justify her choices. If my friend had had a choice, she would not have left her husband and daughter without saying goodbye, or giving them an opportunity to do so. I know for certain that she wouldn't have asked me to shack up and play house with them, even if I weren't married. Not only is her husband shattered by the loss of his wife, but he also can't even think about starting up a new relationship any time in the near, or even distant, future.

This whole storyline makes me wonder if Robin ever really loved Patrick. It honestly doesn't seem like it.

Normally, I would not have approved of Liz telling Patrick about Robin's viral loads, but someone had to, and Robin didn't appear to be in any rush to confide to her husband. He deserves to know what's going on, because it's not in Emma's best interest for Patrick to suddenly have the rug pulled out from under him when Robin decides to slink off to die. I'm also a bit annoyed by Robin's willingness to accept that she's going to die. As a mother, I would fight tooth-and-nail to be there to for my children. The thought of dying is frightening, but let's face it, any of us could die at any time. It isn't always an illness that takes us, so Robin, pull up your big-girl panties, and deal with it.

Another person who grated on my last nerve this week was Monica. Monica is under the impression that Jason might have settled down, if Jake had lived. Um Monica, he had four years to do that, while Jake was alive, but chose not to. Get a clue. Jason does what he wants to.

I know that all of this talk of babies from Monica is to create more angst and pressure for Sam, who is reeling from the realization that she just might be carrying Franco's child. However, it's completely unnecessary for Monica to harp on Sam to have babies, in the hopes of getting Jason to change his dangerous ways. The idea that you might be pregnant with your rapist's baby is enough angst for any woman to deal with. I also found it a bit insensitive on Monica's part to be pressuring Sam to have a baby, given that Sam suffered the heartbreaking loss of a stillborn child, and then struggled with infertility issues for years. The last thing that Sam needs is for Monica to be telling her that having a baby might "save" Jason. If the writers want to give Monica something to do, then how about allowing this woman to forgive Liz for something that Jason chose to do, and to really confront Jason about it? Monica needs to stop tiptoeing around Jason's feelings. She should be angry with him for not letting her in on the secret that almost everyone in Port Charles knew about. Jason deserves it.

Meanwhile, on Spoon Island, the plot thickens with Cassandra, but I found that the moment that she started talking, I stopped being interested in her. I don't know if it's because she's so blasť about the fact that she has amnesia, or if it's because she acts like she has a right to break into homes all around the country that "call to her." I also don't get the sudden, and somewhat bizarre, addition of Spinelli in this storyline. Whatever the case, I think that the only real interesting character here is Ewen, because it's unclear if he truly is a good guy, or a bad guy in disguise.

However, that said, I'm delighted to see Helena skulking in the tunnels of Wyndemere clutching her knife. It gives me hope that she's there to off Cassandra, or, at the very least, drag her off to another castle far, far away from Port Charles.

Back on the mainland, Carly is spinning her wheels trying to keep Michael out of the mob, but that's rather like closing the barn doors after the horses have escaped. Her solution - have a torrid affair with Johnny, because nothing screams, "Stay out of the mob" like sleeping with the youngest mobster in town. I can't figure out why Carly didn't go to her best bud, Olivia, for help first. If anyone could appreciate Carly's plight, it's Olivia. And Olivia does have influence with Johnny.

Instead, Carly made her little pact with Johnny, and hightailed it over to her hotheaded ex-husband's house to tell Sonny that his archenemy was recruiting their son for the mob. Way to add fuel to the fire Carly. Luckily though, Sonny is in a good place right now, because he's getting his grove on with Kate.

What fascinated me the most during Sonny and Kate's love scenes this week was the lack of all of those pesky scars from the various times that Sonny had been shot. They seemed to have magically disappeared. That, or General Hospital has one heck of a plastic surgeon on staff.

For quite some time now, I haven't liked Sonny very much, but this week he began to worm his way back into my heart. His reaction, when Olivia sarcastically suggested that she and Kate could have donned bikinis and mud wrestled for Sonny's affections, made me laugh. Sonny also scored huge points with me when he refused to whack a guy for Michael based on a hunch. Who would have guessed that Sonny would be the voice of reason when it comes to revenge?

Revenge appears to be the emotion du jour around Port Chuck these days. Jax, I'm certain, is the one responsible for shooting Sonny at the close of Friday's episode. Why Jax did that, I'm not sure. Jax was safe where he was, so it was unnecessary. As far as I'm concerned, Jax is just as bad as he claims Sonny to be. Worse in fact, because Sonny didn't try to hide his intentions when he went after Jax, while Jax slipped into town, and then slithered around spying on everyone until he could shoot an unarmed man in the back. Nice.

Then there's Michael, who inspires a deep desire in me to throttle him. I'm tired of Michael huffing and puffing around town making excuses to become a mobster, and screaming that the police don't care about Abby's friends being attacked. I was disgusted when he told Sam that he intended to hunt down the suspect, who had been released from custody for lack of evidence, and then shoot him dead. I almost wish that Michael would do exactly that, and then be forced to live with the consequences of killing an innocent man when it's later revealed that someone else was responsible for the attacks.

The problem with that though is that I want better for Michael, especially now that we have a potential love interest for him on the horizon in the form of Starr Manning, who is slated to arrive in town sometime in February.

I was thrilled when news broke that several key characters from One Life to Live will be moving to Port Charles.

The reality is, General Hospital is in a precarious state. Disney clearly isn't committed to soap operas, so the only way to save my beloved GH is to up the ratings. Adding characters from the now cancelled soap will draw One Life to Live fans, which in turn will boost the ratings. High ratings mean less likelihood of cancellation. It's simple math.

I've read the argument that the new characters will take away screen time from the current characters. However, let's keep in mind that we've had a mass exodus over the past year with people like Tyler Christopher, Ingo Rademacher, Kimberly McCullough, Jonathan Jackson, and now Nathan Parsons is leaving.

We are long overdue for the police department to have some real heroes on the force and to be less incompetent, so the addition of a character like John McBain is welcome. Perhaps John will be the one to realize that Ronnie needs to be fired, and that Dante needs to stop sitting on the fence when it comes to justice. I don't want to see Sonny and Jason go to jail, even though they totally deserve to, but I want the police to prevail once in awhile. Criminals should not be considered heroes, and they certainly shouldn't be the only ones solving the crimes.

Crimes like murder and arson. We were reminded this week that Jason is a criminal. I'm not sad that he killed Franco, but that doesn't make what he did any less illegal. Ideally, he would be busted for it, stand trial, and Alexis would get Jason off on some kind of technicality - temporary insanity, because of his rage episodes would work for me. At least this way, Jason would be held accountable for doing it, and it would send Michael a much-needed message that vigilantism is not the answer.

The crossover also gives Carly a true rival in the form of Blair Manning. Blair is not going to take Carly's crap, and she will give as good as she gets, if not better. Carly needs to be taken down a peg or two, and Blair is more than capable of doing just that.

I'm really interested in seeing how these new characters will be introduced, and how it will affect the ratings in the long run. I pray that this is the answer that we soap fans have been hoping for. If the crossover works, and the ratings go up, perhaps Disney might consider merging OLTL and AMC as a new soap. Hey, stranger things have happened.

What do you think? Please drop me a line with your thoughts about what the crossover could mean for General Hospital, and soaps in general.

Liz Masters
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