Menopause is no laughing matter. Unless you happen to be watching attorney Alexis Davis and her best friend, Diane Miller, examine the change and all its symptoms. Hot-shot attorney Alexis has tackled some tough clients through the years. Now, it seems she's out to conquer menopause, one laugh at a time.
"Me no pause" Diane proudly declared, encouraging a depressed Alexis to embrace this empowering change occurring in her life and stop nothing. For chronically randy Diane, it's an excuse to have sex without the worry of birth control. For Alexis, it's mood swings, hot flashes, and emotional outbursts.
I love that GH is tackling this storyline. I know it's not as sexy as Johnny's downward spiral or as emotional as Robin's illness -- I'll get to those in a minute -- but menopause is a real-life women's issue we all face, despite our gender. If you don't believe me, just ask any husbands, children, or partners of those who have gone through menopause. I remember my mother opening every window in our house in the cold of winter to try to get some relief from the flashes. (I learned to put on a jacket.) This change affects everyone in a household, and I applaud GH for telling this story.
Choosing comedy duo Alexis and Diane for this tale puts a smile on my face. Their conversations gave me plenty of lines for the Best Lines of the Week section. It also showcases two very opposite reactions to menopause. Diane, the optimist, who believes menopause doesn't mean the end of anything, while Alexis struggles with the realization that she's not in her 30s anymore and, as she put it, is one step closer to death. Bring on the laughs, ladies.
I'm not a hater. Really. I'm not. But there are just too many people on my screen lately that make me want to reach for the fast-forward button. I don't care what Kate's secret is. The same goes for Steve. I don't care what Shawn is cooking up at Kelly's, or if T.J. can read, or if the Lady in White will discover earth tones for her wardrobe. And I really don't care to hear holier-than-thou Olivia dispense any more of her advice, oops, I mean lectures, to the good citizens of Port Charles, or that she keeps getting dizzy every time she's around exhaust fumes.
I think I'm having one of Alexis' hot emotional rants. Quick, someone open a window.
News of General Hospital alumni returning soon is coming in daily, and I can't wait to see some old familiar faces. Our show needs a pick-me-up, Scoopers, and fast. I'm thrilled at some of the returns, and I hope you will be, too.
What I do love is that we've returned to the Friday cliffhanger, and we've had several really good episodes lately. The January 28 episode was outstanding, and just as I was pulled into the Johnny/Carly kiss, the show ended. That's great writing!
Johnny's story arc is one tale that has me mesmerized. You all know I think Brandon Barash is incredible and has chemistry with everyone from Carly to Sonny. Watching him in misery, dealing with his anger and confusion over his parentage, has been a joy for this soap fan. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but he and Carly are hot. I've never been a big fan of Carly, since the day she hit town, destroying her mother's marriage and A.J. Quartermaine. (And don't get me started on her time with Jax.) But she sure sizzles with Johnny. Although, it's a little creepy, considering he used to date Lulu and Olivia. How old is this guy, exactly?
Johnny's age really has me stumped. I thought he was in his 20s, but perhaps he's closer to Carly's age? Apparently math isn't my subject, because according to my calculations, Claudia would have had to get pregnant when she was nine, if he really is her son. Maybe I should just chalk it up to soap opera math and let it go.
Speaking of math, can I give Mac Scorpio a 10 for the gun show this week? Wow. That man is still fine after all these years. His arms are beautiful, and I love the new haircut! It's been more than a decade, I think, since we've since Mac in his undies. (Boxer briefs for those of you who still care.) He's still got it. If that scene couldn't get Alexis interested, I fear this potential coupling has no hope. I'm almost rooting for Diane to show Alexis what she's missing.
Mac has had some fantastic scenes lately, but what a huge fail it was to have Mac find out about Robin's illness at a hospital nurses' desk. Did he overhear her talking to Patrick, or were we supposed to think he just found out off-screen? I'm still not sure. It was horrible editing, and Mac and Robin deserved a scene to discuss Robin's illness, worthy of what they had on the bridge recently.
Carly seems to have dropped all interest in Shawn. Maybe she's as bored with him as I am. And I'm sure glad she fought so hard for custody of her daughter, since she spends so much time with her. I kid, Scoopers. I know she can't exactly have Joss with her when she's macking on Johnny and threatening Sonny.
We finally got some answers about Jason's strange behavior. It's swelling of the brain. Whew. That's a relief. I was nervous he was going to have some kind of split personality or something and turn out to be the guy attacking women in alleys.
Who do you think the attacker is, Scoopers? Mayor Floyd was my guess, but Ronnie sure does seem to have a lot of anger issues. Or maybe it's Delores' husband, whom we've never met. (Yes, it seems odd to me too that he didn't show up at the bar.) The attacker seems to have broadened his scope this week, when he went after policewoman Delores, instead of another stripper.
Bravo to Lulu for realizing that she could be heading down a dangerous path to alcoholism. Maxie and Olivia were quick to point out what they saw happening. I loved Lulu's talk with her detached father. I think we can all agree that Luke is never going to win a Father of the Year award. I just want to throttle him when he is so cold toward his clearly hurting daughter.
I also don't get why Luke didn't stop Tracy's wedding. My theory was that he and Tracy aren't really divorced and that he knew that. But maybe not. Why he would let this farce continue is a conundrum? He sees how much pain it's causing Tracy. Please, Luke, get it together and help rescue Tracy from that short mobster.
Anyone want to take bets on Kate's secret? I'm not vested in this storyline, so I haven't paid too close attention. I don't think it's really a shrink she's seeing though. Sonny is so scary when he comes off as a stalker. That man's temper is intimidating. Let's hope Kate isn't lying, or Sonny could really go off and break some barware.
Kudos this week to Dante for asking Sonny to leave the mob. That's all Dante wants for a wedding present, he claimed, not a hospital wing named in his honor. Don't hold your breath, Dante. If Michael getting shot and sent to prison wasn't enough to make Sonny quit the mob, I don't think anything will do it. Speaking of Michael's prison sentence, why wasn't Sonny going after Franco for setting up Michael's rape? It seems very strange to me that Sonny didn't bring down that temper on Franco. Sonny seemed so removed from Michael's prison storyline that it's odd. Are they trying to distance Sonny and Michael?
Finally, I was cheering in my living room when Michael gave Edward that stock tip this week. Oh please, let this kid be heading down a path away from the mob. I don't care that it's unrealistic that Edward and Tracy, two seasoned business people, are taking business advice from him. It gets Michael in the ELQ building, and that is a win.
I should just have put the whole Diane and Alexis conversation here, but these are the lines that made me laugh.
(Diane tells Alexis that menopause isn't so dire.)
Diane: "You don't need to stop anything."
Alexis: "Yeah, I do. I need to stop sweating."
(Later, Alexis explains that she and Mac are just friends.)
Alexis: "He's nice. He's safe. He's solid. He's someone I could have coffee with."
Diane: (Laughing and checking out Mac) " When I think of all the other things you could be doing with him."
Alexis: "Do you know what it's like to wake up every single morning at 3 o'clock and not be able to go back to sleep?"
Diane: "Alone? No."
Alexis: "That's why you're so damn cheerful."
(Diane tells Alexis that menopause is a gift because it allows her to be with a man sexually without the fear of pregnancy, especially important with Sonny, who is known for impregnating many women.)
Diane: "This frees you up to sleep with Sonny again."
Alexis: "Are you on crack?"
Diane: "Even the mighty warriors of Sonny Corinthos cannot impregnate you."
Alexis: "Yeah, they probably could."
Diane: "Actually, they probably could. You're right."
Sonny's cruel revelation to Johnny that Claudia was his mother spurred an influx of angry emails. I don't think I've seen people this ticked off at Sonny since he rigged that car bomb in Johnny's car.
My less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the OLTL cast joining GH got many of you talking.
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