Welcome home! Now pass the Prozac.

For the Week of March 5, 2012
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GH Two Scoops: Welcome home! Now pass the Prozac.
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It's been a tough week for GH fans, mourning the loss of Robin Scorpio. Not even insipid Cassandra taking a bullet could lift viewers spirits. However, the return of Robert Scorpio and his gang could be a way out of the darkness. Get ready to move towards the light in this week's Two Scoops.

Welcome home, Robert Scorpio. You're a sight for sore eyes. Literally.

Does anyone know a cure for swollen-shut, puffy red eyes? It's tough to type when one can't see. It's too bad genius-doctor Robin Scorpio isn't around to whip up a magical potion for my tear-soaked, crusty eyelids. She would have restored my natural vision in no time.

I'm a little surprised that the death of the sometimes-sanctimonious Robin is getting to me. She hasn't always been easy to love. (Remember when she put her baby in a tree?) Sigh. I digress.

Sadly, Robin Scorpio is dead, and those who loved her are suffering, including me. The flashbacks to the little girl I watched grow up sent me into a quivering mass.

Anna's reaction was odd. At first, she seemed unaffected by it all. So, I convinced myself that Robin wasn't really dead. I was sure that Robin's HIV hadn't really regressed, so she had recruited her mother to help her disappear. (Denial is one of the stages of grief, you know.) But as Mac heard the news and broke down, I realized that now isn't the time to play detective. For now, Robin is dead. That's all that matters.

Jason Thompson's performance was phenomenal. His talk with Epiphany had me wailing. "With Robin gone, I can't even get air," he sobbed. I know how you feel. Neither can I, between sobs. When sweet little Emma offered her mother a Band-Aid, I went searching for the migraine pills.

Then, we watched as beloved Robert Scorpio locked himself in the morgue and pulled back the sheet to see the charred remains of his daughter. Gulp. Couple that with Mac's breakdown and angry outburst at Sonny, and it's been a dark, depressing week in Port Charles.

Just when I had clawed myself out from under the growing pile of soggy Kleenex, Tracy broke the news to Edward. Then, I broke a record for time spent bawling while watching General Hospital.

Patrick, Mac, Robert, Edward, Epiphany, etc., all gave incredible performances this week in what I'm sure were tough scenes to play. I'm sad. Not just about Robin's death, but for the dark state that GH has taken the past year and decade.

With that said, I have one request. To the new GH executive regime, for the sake of puffy-eyed GH fans everywhere, please lighten up this show. Child death, rape, filicide, and personality disorders make me want to turn the channel, not anxiously await the next day's episode. Please get back to making GH entertaining again. There's a reason we used to love soaps. Hint: They were fun! Luke, Robert, Anna, and the old gang are a good start. I just want to smile again. It's what Robin Scorpio would want. I know my eyes would appreciate it.


Many of you have written me to say you think that Kate/Connie is the one taking shots at Sonny. Considering her late-night stroll on the docks in a bloody wedding gown, I'd say you're right.

I'm going on record to say I hate this storyline. Can we just send her to Shadybrook now, so I don't have to suffer through any more of it? The reason I loved Kate/Connie was that she was the opposite of all of Sonny's needy, neurotic women. But, this version of Kate is one hot mess.

Sonny just needs to be single. His lovers can't deal with his day job, and he's never leaving the mob -- unless it's in a body bag.

Another story I'm calling foul on is the arrival of Starr Manning. Sorry, OLTL fans, but I've just watched the Spencers mourn Jake, Michael mope about Abby's death, and the whole town grieve for Robin. I really don't want to watch a character I don't know, or care about, go through the hell of losing a child. It's too much.

If the writers were looking for a love interest for Michael, why not recast Serena Baldwin? Starr already has too much drama. I was hoping Michael would head to college and have some fun this summer. It looks like he's destined for more moping. Great.

With all the old familiar faces we've seen this week, I'm going to make a plea for the returns of Ned and Jax. Some of the most fun episodes we ever had involved Eddie Maine in those leather pants, grabbing his guitar, and hitting the stage. And Michael needs a role model. It's clear to me that Jason is never going to be anything but a hit man.

Holly is one impressive con woman. I'm just not sure if she was really conning Helena, or if Ethan really is Robert's son. I never believed that Luke cheated on Laura. Plus, Ethan has that accent. I think it's plausible he truly is a Scorpio.

Thank you, writers, for killing the Cassandra plot. Literally. Don't send me hate mail. You know her character wasn't doing anything -- except Ethan.

On a lighter note, it was strange seeing Tristan Rogers at Anna's door with light, brown hair. I had gotten used to his gray when he was working his magic on The Young and the Restless. I don't care what color his hair stays, just please keep him on the show!

The best-dressed award goes to Carly in that red dress. Wow. Sorry Shawn.

I'm digging the chemistry between Carly and Johnny, despite the fact that he's Sonny's mortal enemy. Despite that she's older than Johnny. Despite that he used to date her cousin. Despite the fact that he's another mobster. Yeah, they've got no shot.

Despite what daytime executives have led us to believe, soaps aren't dying. In primetime, they're thriving. Dallas is returning to TNT this summer. Revenge is a ratings hit for ABC. GCB is about to premiere. And that gorgeous love triangle from The Vampire Diaries just graced the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Soaps are working in primetime. Why can't they in daytime?

Best Lines of the Week

(Helena wisecracks, after murdering her own daughter and telling a distraught Ethan that he didn't even know Cassandra.)
Ethan: "I know she's nothing like you."
Helena: "Which is why she's dead."

(Helena plucks a hair from Luke's head for a DNA test.)
Luke: "Easy darlin'. Don't tear off my toupee."

Reader Spotlight

There were so many interesting emails, it was tough choosing which ones to spotlight. Two Scoops readers are a savvy bunch with plenty of opinions. Take a peek, and be sure to send me your thoughts and emails by clicking here. Some of you questioned plot points:

  • Can someone please comment about TJ? Maybe I missed something, and he's really playing Molly, but you can't tell me that he can't read, yet he can have a "My Face" page He's reading and writing perfectly well on there! - Jeanette
  • I truly believe this Ewan guy is behind the attacks on the dancers! He is constantly coming into a scene buttoning up his shirt. He gave Delores a really weird look when he saw her in Jake's the night she was attacked. Plus, he fits the profile he gave Dante about the attacker. On the Franco front, I believe he is Jason's brother explaining his fixation with Jason. In addition, it will prolong the whole paternity test thingy as his and Jason's DNA would be so close. - Keith

  • Could it be Jason and Franco are twins? Wouldn't Edward and Tracy just love that? I've heard that twins have a special connection, even when raised apart. - Jacee

  • My observation of incredulity is Michael's worry over Starr. Granted he felt sorry for her loss and her pain, but she's still a total stranger. Yet he opts to stay by her side, despite the fact that his biological uncle, a man he's loved like a second father, is having brain surgery which he might not survive. ARGHHHHH!!!! - Monique

Many of you were thrilled to see the return of Robert, Holly, and Anna:
  • I am downright giddy at the return of so many illustrious GH alumni! It almost doesn't matter to me what they do with the story lines now that I have Anna, Robert, Holly, and the ever-elusive Luke back on the canvas. (Helena too, in all her evil deliciousness.) I'm just happy to bask in their on-screen presences! I am also eagerly awaiting the arrival of more fabulous acting talent as the former OLTL characters make their way to Port Charles. Star has already made a breathtaking entrance---I'm getting a strong vibe on a possible Star/Michael pairing, which has huge potential. Too bad there has to be so much death and destruction to bring these characters together. They couldn't find some other way? - Donna

  • (Thursday) was the best episode of GH in a LONG time. Everything clicked. The use of the older characters was excellent. Luke is back. Robert was incredible. The ripple effect of Robins death made Epiphany such a strong character with incredible depth. Maxie was good and reacted very logically. Ewan was great because he explained how shock is your first reaction. Than you think it's a dream only to realize that things will never be the same again. Sure Robin Scorpio wasn't a real person but the logical way the story of her death played out was real and anyone could relate to it. More was accomplished by killing her off than having her leave town. Damn good writing. I haven't wanted to tune in tomorrow for a whole week of a soap since the Two Todds storyline on OLTL. - Joseph

  • I'm writing to say I'm finally crying again at GH and I'm so happy about it!! Epiphany is talking to Patrick right now and I'm bawling. Finally, I care again!! I am one of those who hasn't abandoned ship during the dark days and continues to watch GH every day in the hopes that they can finally regain what they once had and I'm happy to say I think it's finally here! Holly, Anna, Robert...I'm giddy! Granted, I still think Robin's death was a bit quick and the fact that they didn't at least close off part of the hospital after the explosion is preposterous but whatever. And I already want Starr to end up with Michael after they've had only one scene together. Fingers crossed the new writers keep this up! - Andrea

Some of you showed off your common sense:
  • I'm sickened by news that Jen Lilley has received "hateful" messages from GH fans because she's subbing for Kirsten Storms. Attitudes like that accomplish nothing and are actually quite destructive. As Jen said, we should be concentrating on keeping GH alive. I feel the same way about anyone who is pouting over the coming (reportedly brief) crossover of OLTL characters. Maybe that's the reason soaps in general are doing so badly. Too much tunnel vision and mean-spiritedness, and very willingness to band together to save our soaps. - Joann
  • Last week was my last week watching GH. I would have hung on if they had allowed Jason to become a Quartermaine again because the mob stories got old a long time ago. If we must have villains, I'd prefer a few corporate ones at ELQ. - AJ

Jennifer Biller
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