"Shut up, you phony bastard!" Robert Scorpio scolded a lying "Duke." Robert Scorpio doesn't suffer fools, or psychopathic impersonators. It didn't take him long to catch on that "Duke" is really Faison and out him to Anna. And it didn't take me long to realize that the era of good guys has returned to General Hospital. Can I get an "Amen"? It's about time.
For years, the mob, villains, and their lawyers have trampled justice in Port Charles. Finally, I feel like we, once again, have a force of heroes to battle corruption. All we need are some leather superhero suits and tights for this new league of good guys. (Oh, come on, like you wouldn't want to see Dante in some tight leather pants?)
The police force is packing a punch these days. We've got Dante and John teaming up as partners. (So long, Detective Padilla, we hardly knew you!) Anna is at the helm. Olivia is using her psychic visions to help out on the periphery. Mac is pitching in, and Robert is back getting his best spy on. Balance has been restored, Scoopers, and I couldn't be happier. The good guys need a win, and so do the fans -- and former spies Robert and Anna are just the team to give it to us.
This Faison story arc is -- to borrow a phrase from Robert -- "bloody brilliant." I never imagined so many characters were going to end up involved. Now, A.J. is the latest Port Charles resident to get wrapped up in this Faison mess. He saw Faison at that Swiss clinic, where all of Port Charles's presumed-dead people apparently go. What a cool twist. But not as cool as Helena Cassadine hitting town and revealing that she, too, is connected to Faison. There are so many yummy layers in this storyline that it needs its own trifle bowl, and I need a spoon.
Helena and Robert's verbal sparring was one of the delicious highlights of the week. Hey, when any character uses the word "credulity," he gets points in my book. Helena is still cool, elegant, and slick. And Robert is still Robert. Sure, his hair is gray and his face has some lines, but he's still as mesmerizing as ever. Too bad that Anna's former lovers have a tendency to end up in a jail cell, which is where he is now, too, cooling his accent. I'm hoping it won't be long before he heads to Switzerland to help Anna, and, hopefully, discover that Robin is alive.
The little beats in this tale are a thing of beauty: Robert and Anna still grieving for Robin; A.J. and Michael bonding, as A.J. shared his Faison photo; and Diane's always-entertaining defense of a client. It's been a while since we've seen a team of cops and heroes take down the bad guys. In the past, it was Jason and Sonny usually fighting a bigger bad. As much as I miss Jason, I must confess that it's nice to have the cops and spies fighting their own battles. So, let's raise a glass to the good guys. You've been missed.
"Nurses have balls?" You bet they do, Todd Manning. And with the help of sweet Sabrina, I think we may see one of the best ever. There are not enough words to tell you how much I love that Sabrina is on this Nurses Ball mission. When she singled out Lucy Coe's photo, my heart grew three sizes.
I know that it seems like we've all seen Sabrina's storyline before, whether in the actual movie Sabrina or on the TV show Ugly Betty, but I don't care. I'm a sucker for the moment she takes off those ugly glasses, invests in a flat iron, and makes her transition to beautiful swan. Haters, don't be mean. Sabrina is sweet, and I don't care how predictable this storyline is, I love sweet. It's too bad, though, that she fell for Patrick, because we all know that Robin is alive. If she weren't, I think that Sabrina and Patrick might have a chance.
"There is no crying in journalism!" Todd Manning's one-liners this week forced me to rewind my DVR about four times. His exchange with "Spinerelli" made me laugh hard. And the way he Murphy Browned his way through assistants just adds to this character's curmudgeoniness. I know this character has a dark history from his other soap, and I'm kind of glad I didn't watch him in Llanview, so that I don't have to think about it. I hold soap grudges, and I want a clean slate with Todd.
A.J. is free and already planning Tracy's removal from ELQ. Let the games begin. I just hope we can get Ned and Dillon back in Port Charles, too.
I miss Jason. There, I said it. Not the Jason that you've come to know, but the one who used to laugh and joke with his brother, A.J. Well, okay, I miss brooding Jason a little, too. I'm hoping that Jason is in that Swiss clinic where all the "dead" people go, getting back his early Quartermaine memories. Just imagine how delicious that would be, if Steve Burton ever chooses to come back to General Hospital.
Lulu and Dante are going to have a baby -- dog that is. Did anyone understand Olivia's wacky vision? I didn't. I can only guess that this surrogacy isn't going to go as planned.
They're sledding in Hell because I actually enjoyed Michael and Starr's scenes this week. Not as much as I enjoyed Michael and Carly's fight about ELQ stock, but baby steps, Scoopers.
That Swiss clinic has done wonders for A.J. and Anna. They both look incredible. Where do I check in?
Hello, Felix! I've never seen him before, but I liked him right away. He had me when he called Dr. Britt Westbourne "Dr. West Nile."
Bravo to Maxie for being so unselfish and offering to carry this baby for Lulu. But, I wanted to smack her when she was so cruel to Ellie. I know she's taking hormones, but I don't think that's what made her so bitchy to sweet Ellie. I also loved Maxie's family scenes with Felicia, and Mac and Anna. Thank you, writers, for these small moments!
Remember a long time ago when I questioned whether I could see Duke as a sexy leading man? (I remembered him as a kilt-wearing metrosexual from my childhood.) Well, scratch that. The guy is hot and sexy, and I'm with Helena. Robert and Luke have some competition, as soon as he escapes captivity, of course.
(John McBain comes to the Quartermaines to question Tracy about Joe Scully, Jr.)
John: "I'm now a detective for the PCPD."
Tracy: "You're kidding. The commissioner hired you?"
John: "Clearly, they were desperate."
(A C.I.A. agent shows up at Blair's door to discuss Tomas but doesn't give anyone answers about whether he is really Lorenzo Alcazar.)
Blair: "Do you have any idea who you're pissing off here? My aunt is Senator Dorian Lord.
Agent King: "Not the wicked witch of the Senate Intelligence Committee?"
Todd: "Dorian is on an Intelligence Committee?"
(Robert tells Helena that presumed-dead Faison is back in Port Charles, passing himself off as Duke Lavery.)
Helena: "You uncovered Faison's deception because a woman with LSD psychic powers told you?"
Helena: "I have one question: Where are the cameras? The hidden cameras? I assume that this is for some tacky reality show: The Real Cassadines of Spoon Island?"
Robert: "I realize this kind of strains credulity."
Helena: "Strains? Credulity was annihilated before you even got to the LSD, and that was my favorite part."
(Todd seeks out Spinelli at Kelly's, where he is with a hormonal Maxie.)
Todd: "Hey, Spinerelli."
Maxie: "It's Spinelli. How difficult is that?"
Spinelli: (explaining Maxie's grumpiness) "Uh, hormones."
Todd: "What? Like the verb?"
Thanks to all of you who took time to write and share your theories and thoughts. Honestly, you guys have some great ones. Check them out below. As always, I love hearing your thoughts, too. So keep them coming! Here's what other fans are saying -- and remember to share your thoughts with me, and you may see them pop up in my next column. Thanks!