You're disgusting. I love you.

For the Week of March 18, 2013
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GH Two Scoops: You're disgusting. I love you.
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Mortal enemies Carly and A.J. are trying to pull one over on Todd Manning. They're trying to convince him that they are bed buddies again. Is this fake love connection a harbinger of things to come? Could A.J. really fall for Carly? Dive into Two Scoops to examine the possibilities.

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There's a thin line between love and hate, when a couple has such boiling passion that the hatred erupts into a love connection. A.J. and Carly are not that couple.

Sure, there is plenty of hate. But the "love" part is a fašade, of Carly's making, to convince Todd that she's fallen for another guy. I can't believe I'm about to write this, but I love this storyline.

Don't throw the rotten tomatoes -- or pickle relish -- just yet.

To be clear, I do not -- in any way -- want to see a romantic relationship between bitter exes Carly and A.J. What I do want to see is them co-parenting together, snarking at one another, having to share a meal together, etc. Until that happens, I'll take this reluctant alliance.

Carly and Todd seem a much better romantic match. And if that stare-off game at the hospital is any indication, A.J. and Elizabeth are going to have plenty of sparks of their own, given the chance. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this fake romance between mortal enemies A.J. and Carly. Watching Todd twisting in agony, as A.J. pawed at Carly, calling her his "bottom-feeding, man-hungry tramp," was the icing on the cake. There were so many one-liners from those scenes that I need an entire column devoted to Todd lines. Check out my Best Lines section to see all the insults Todd hurled at A.J. -- "built like a refrigerator" -- Quartermaine.

I admit that it was interesting to see the chemistry test between Carly and A.J. They passed with an A+. But the kiss seen "from outer space" is as far as I want it to go. The thing I love most about this plot is the fact that A.J. and Carly are working together for once, instead of against each other. Albeit, A.J. is doing it reluctantly, to get his hands on the name of the Quartermaine heir. But A.J. and Carly's general distaste for one another is what makes this plot all the more enjoyable.

Kudos to Sean Kanan, Laura Wright, and Roger Howarth this week. Their sparring is so delicious, I feel like they could spin off their own sitcom.

In other musings:
Start placing your bets on who gave the anonymous donation to fund the Nurses Ball. There are two types of rich donors in Port Charles: the generous and the vengeful. In the generous column, I'm leaning toward Jasper Jacks, considering the other one-percenters in town either have had their accounts frozen or flat-out refused to fund the ball. Or it could be Nikolas Cassadine. He is friends with Elizabeth and perhaps heard of her effort to revive the ball.

On the vengeful side, Helena Cassadine comes to mind, as does Jerry Jacks, who if memory serves, swindled the one-percenters out of a hefty sum for the antidote to the poisoned water. I just hope Lucy finds a better place to stash that check than in her bra.

It doesn't take smoke signals to decipher this mystery. Patrick is somehow smitten with Sabrina. It's the reason he almost kissed her and the reason that Britt has been so mean to a student nurse. How refreshing it was to see Sabrina come clean and tell Patrick she had feelings for him. That was courageous. I could never have done that. For those of you who have called Sabrina childish, I think that move clearly puts Sabrina in the mature column. So, nanner-nanner-nanner. Yeah, that's me being childish.

Can someone at the nurses' station please page Epiphany when the Nurses Ball committee meets? What a gross oversight to not have the nursing supervisor in on this event. Plus, I'd like to see her bantering with Lucy and Felix. I know she's busy befriending Patrick about his love life and his blinders, but Epiphany has been head nurse for years. She needs to be involved.

Was anyone howling when Olivia was packing up Steve's things and the first box she was taping was labeled "Ab Roller"? Priceless. I'm going to miss Steve and his abs, and I'm sorry his character never truly got a meaty storyline that caught on with viewers.

Peace out, Johnny Z. Brandon Barash has been let go. I am sad to lose such a wonderful, talented actor. The writing was on the wall for this character for some time now. And I'm not talking about those musical scores he wrote on the wall when Sonny kidnapped him years ago. No, I'm talking about Johnny's character evolution.

Johnny has been ping-ponged between so many storylines the past couple years that I was starting to get whiplash. But when he shot his father in cold blood, I knew it was the turning point for this character. It's hard to come back from that. I just hope he gets a better exit than Steve, blink-and-you-missed-it, Webber.

Someone needs to drop a dime to Monica Quartermaine that the hospital is out of control. Anyone and everyone is strolling in and out of the GH labs. Doctors are sexing it up in the showers. Dr. Kevin Collins, who hasn't worked at the hospital in years, is performing hypnosis in empty offices. One doctor is keeping paternity secrets. And lab techs are doing private research. On second thought, I hope no one tells Dr. Q. This is some soapy good drama.

Speaking of Dr. Collins -- or Craig Montgomery, depending on which soap you know him from -- he's looking good! I hope he sticks around. This town needs a good shrink. Connie/Kate, Sonny, and Todd alone could keep him in business, with all their personalities. I think it's time we got Kevin back on staff. Congratulations to Lexi Ainsworth for booking the new primetime pilot, Westside, for ABC. I'm thrilled that someone recognized the powerhouse of talent that she is, when General Hospital didn't. Yes, I'm still bitter. Sue me.

I feel bad for Molly for having her manuscript stolen and sexed up by Connie. But at the same time, I want to smack her for hurting sweet T.J.'s feelings with her sudden obsession with Rafe. I like T.J., and I think it's time Molly treated him better.

Mac "with a C, there's no K" sure was getting hit on at the book launch. At least Agnes noticed the hot bartender. It's a shame that Alexis couldn't speak to Mac though. It's like those two were never involved. Oh, that's right, they weren't really.

Bravo to Sonny for finally getting through to Kate or Connie or both of them. Maybe we can finally put this story to bed. I hope so. It's gone on for too long now.

Damian disappointed me this week when he stole Ellie's notes. But he redeemed himself in the end by not giving the paper to Tracy. What I don't get is why Elllie can't just retrace her steps and find the recipe the same way she did before? Is it because she's out of relish?

The line to smack some sense into Maxie starts here. How she could be so cruel to her best friend, to let Dante and Lulu think that baby is theirs, is unimaginable. I hope Maxie comes clean before they pick out the nursery furniture.

Best Lines of the Week:

(Carly tries to convince a doubting Todd that she and A.J. are back together.)
Carly: "You can believe it or not believe it, but every time I look at A.J., I burn."
Todd: "Pretty sure there's an ointment for that."

Carly: "I'm with A.J. now. Did you not see that kiss?"
Todd: "I'm pretty sure they saw that kiss in outer space."

(Carly kisses A.J., in front of Todd, and claims that A.J. is her boyfriend.)
Todd: "So this is your boyfriend, Mr. Sigma Chi?"
A.J. "Actually, it's Kappa Alpha Delta."
Todd: "Of course it is."

Felix: (Reaching out to Epiphany) "You know what we should do? We should hug."
Epiphany: "Do you like your arms?"
Felix: "Or not."

(The event coordinator for the book launch party tries to discuss security, with a semi-confused Milo.)
Agnes: "It's a good thing you're pretty."
Milo: "Thank you."
Agnes: "It's not a compliment."

(When Todd sees Carly pretending that A.J. is her boyfriend, Todd purposely bungles A.J.'s name, by calling him D.J., T.J, O.J, etc.)
Todd: "I think that you're twisting the knife and you're trying to get back at me, but really (pointing to A.J.) L.L. Uncool J?"
A.J. "Really, really, L.L. Uncool J? That's the best ..."
Todd: "You're right E.J., but they can't all be gems."

Reader Spotlight

  • I am loving the developing relationship between AJ and Elizabeth. They have both made mistakes in the past and are trying to be better people. Their chemistry is amazing. It's really entertaining watching their feeling for each other grow in each scene they are in together. They both deserve some happiness and I sincerely hope the writers don't throw Carly in the mix to ruin that for them. --- Sheila Rae

  • Just wanted to agree to your story arc ending comment and how it also frustrates me when there is no real closure to a scene. I was wondering if anyone else noticed. Thanks for your thoughts. --- Angela

  • I watched Steve Burton on GH since his first day on the show, twenty years ago. He grew as an actor but his character was often monotone and showed very little emotion. Now with him being on Y&R I see how amazing Steve was and is as an actor. All those years on GH, he was literally acting because his character on Y&R is so different. It gives him the opportunity to show emotions, vulnerability, and a sense of humor. I really wanted Steve to stay so he and AJ could be reunited. Those two would have lit up the screen but I get to enjoy this new character that Steve plays on Y&R and I see now why he came out of "Retirement" so soon. He really gets to shine in a different way. Good job Steve! -- Timothy

That's all for now, Scoopers. See ya next time!

Jennifer Biller
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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