Baby, you're a firework

For the Week of July 8, 2013
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GH Two Scoops: Baby, you're a firework
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Fourth of July fireworks sparked a possible new romance for one couple, a breakup for another, and a chance encounter for a handsome prince. Liz Masters takes a look at all of the explosive twists and turns and sheds some light on a burning question in this week's Two Scoops.

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Poor Sonny (sarcasm intended). This week he admitted that he felt betrayed by both Milo and Carly, so he was not going to take it anymore. I understand his frustration because as a mob boss he has to remain in control at all times, which means that he can't have underlings ignoring his orders or his ex-wives planning hits behind his back. However, he is kind of reaping what he sowed, especially with Carly, who has never had any boundaries even in the best of times.

For years, Carly has had her nose firmly in Sonny's business, has made a point of reminding people of her connection to Sonny, and has always turned to Sonny and Jason to clean up her messes, many of which were a result of Carly ignoring advice and acting impulsively.

In Sonny's eyes, Carly committed the most egregious betrayal by deliberately using Sonny's name to order Shawn to kill Franco on the terrace of her restaurant, but the truth is Sonny is partly to blame for what happened. I'm not defending Carly's actions, but I do think that Sonny bears some responsibility for what went wrong because he should have made it clear to everyone from his driver to his enforcer that they are never to take a mob-related order from Carly. Ever. Sonny was married to Carly numerous times, so he knows exactly what she's like. He should have anticipated that she wouldn't have waited to carry out the hit on Franco. Patience has never been a virtue that Carly possessed.

This week, Carly stopped by Greystone Manor, expecting Sonny to tell her that all was forgiven because her sniper hadn't been responsible for nearly killing Olivia after all. To Carly's utter shock, Sonny was still pretty ticked. Instead of giving her a pass, he laid into Carly because she had not only wrongly used his name, but she had ignored his decision to postpone Franco's murder. Carly being Carly countered that Sonny had threatened to kill her if Olivia had succumbed to the gunshot wound, which in Carly's book was a much more grievous transgression than manipulating Shawn to kill Franco. I can see where Carly is coming from, so I have to agree with her on that one.

Carly demanded to know if Sonny would have carried out the threat, and to her horror, Sonny admitted that yup, he would have snuffed her. Ouch.

That was the moment that Carly realized that Sonny's feelings for Olivia ran much deeper than Olivia simply being the founding member of Sonny's baby mama club. Carly dutifully apologized for what she had done, promised that she would never do it again, and then waited for Sonny to accept the apology, which he did. However, he warned her that they couldn't go after Franco for a while because there was too much heat on Franco.

It was a full circle moment when Carly agreed, and then in the next breath revealed that Franco was still a danger to their children because Morgan was now living at the Quartermaine Estate.

Side note: I love that the Quartermaine mansion and estate has become the newest hotspot for people to stay when they arrive in Port Charles. I guess word has gotten out that if you stay at Metro Court, you have a high probability of having your privacy invaded by Carly, who believes that being the owner of the hotel gives her the right to randomly barge into guests' suites without warning, or of being shot on the restaurant's terrace where both Sam and now Olivia were nearly killed, or of being held hostage by terrorists. I'd take bickering Quartermaines over that any day of the week.

Back to Sonny and Carly's little chat. I find that Carly says a lot of idiotic things, but she topped herself when she told Sonny that she was afraid that Morgan would be caught in the crossfire, like Olivia had been, if someone were to go after Franco. Like Olivia? Really, Carly? How about your ten-year-old son, Michael, who took a bullet in the brain meant for Sonny and then lingered in a coma for a year during which time he aged six years?

I have a hard time understanding how Carly's mind works. It's safe for Michael to be around Sonny, but not Morgan. She's worried that Morgan will be shot down by a bullet meant for Franco, but apparently she has far less concerns about Michael's safety even though Michael comes and goes from the Q mansion so frequently that he practically lives there. More importantly, though, she's always complaining about the violence surrounding her sons, yet she is continually in Sonny's orbit and neck-deep in trying to kill the very man that she claims puts her son in imminent danger by being a walking target.

I will say this about Carly though. This week she had me furiously doing a Google search to find out where to purchase that gorgeous white sleeveless blouse with the open back and those black slacks with the white stripe. I love that outfit. After reading the message boards, it appears that I am not alone. Everywhere I looked, people were asking about it. Alas, I wasn't able to find a store that carried the outfit, but Ms. Wright did reveal that the designer is BCBGMAXAZRIA. If anyone knows where to find that blouse and those slacks, please share by posting in the comment section below. I'm sure that many will appreciate it.

After Sonny and Carly predictably kissed and made up, Milo surprised Sonny by quitting. Sonny assumed that it was because Sonny has been acting like a complete ass toward Milo over the whole Lulu fiasco by accusing Milo of betraying Sonny's trust, but Milo assured Sonny that it had nothing to do with that. Instead, Milo explained, he had never really liked working for the mob because it wasn't his calling. Meanwhile, Shawn, who had been there to resign, as well, took in Milo's very insightful assessment of Shawn being born to be an enforcer for the mob. Sonny proved to be a rather upstanding mob boss by giving Milo his blessing to leave the organization.

In real life, Milo would have likely been whacked then dumped in a shallow grave at the Pine Barrens, but the cool thing about soaps is that real life rules don't always apply, especially when it comes to plot twists. I'm rather happy about that because I do really like Milo and look forward to his new role as fitness director of Deception's gym.

After Milo left, Shawn realized that Milo was right about Shawn being cut out for the job, so Shawn decided to remain on Sonny's payroll. It was Shawn's calling -- his passion -- much to the dismay of Alexis, who decided that she just can't be with a hit man, even if that hit man believed that he was working as a mob enforcer for the greater good. I'm a little sad that Shawn and Alexis broke up because I liked them, but the truth is, their relationship simply cannot work if Shawn is a mob enforcer. Alexis would be the biggest hypocrite of all if she dated Shawn after all the grief that she gave Sam about Jason.

Meanwhile, Sonny is breathing a sigh of relief that Shawn didn't bail on him, but he is sad about losing Milo. Luckily, Sonny has Olivia there to cheer him up. I lost a little respect for Olivia this week because she refused to acknowledge that the real reason that she wanted to recuperate at Sonny's house was because she likes him. Rather than own how she feels about Sonny, Olivia offered a series of lame excuses to Connie. Olivia claimed that Connie would be too busy with Crimson to have time to take care of Olivia, even though Connie had clearly explained that she had hired someone named Rodrigo, whom Olivia had raved about, to oversee Olivia's care.

Next, Olivia argued that she appreciated Connie's need for privacy, despite the fact that Connie had gone out of her way to make arrangements for Olivia to stay with her. Olivia's other excuses were that she had already accepted Sonny's invitation to recuperate at Mob Central and that Sonny's place had more room than Connie's penthouse. When it became clear that Connie didn't buy any of that, Olivia resorted to an old tactic that I despise when people try to use it on me. Olivia tried to make it about Connie's insecurities by offered to decline Sonny's invitation if it really bothered Connie that much for Olivia to be around Sonny.

I would have said, "Great, then it's settled. You're staying with me." However, Connie became defensive, as Olivia had probably hoped, and said, "Don't refuse Sonny's invitation on my account, all right, because I'm fine with it." Olivia knew it was a lie because she even asked if Connie was sure.

Olivia then broke girl code by telling Sonny that Connie was jealous that Olivia had decided to stay with Sonny. Clearly, Olivia was fishing for a sign that Sonny was over Connie and ready to move on with Olivia, so I chuckled when he told her that Connie didn't have anything to worry about. Olivia totally deserved that. Too bad Sonny didn't really mean it.

Were any of you shocked when Sonny kissed Olivia? I wasn't. The writing has been on the wall even before it was announced that Kelly Sullivan was leaving.

Honestly, I'm not interested in seeing Sonny and Olivia explored because it feels kind of forced and one-sided. I understand how Olivia's feelings deepened for Sonny because she's always been written to be a little bit in love with him, but Sonny is another matter. Up until a few weeks ago he was written to be deeply and irrevocably in love with Connie. A part of me can't help but wonder if perhaps Sonny's sudden interest in Olivia is more about him being lonely and Olivia being his for the taking.

Sonny is the type of guy who thrives on a challenge, but there is nothing challenging about Olivia. She wears her heart on her sleeve and is clearly ready to fall into Sonny's bed. I'm afraid that a relationship between them is doomed to fail, especially when he crosses paths with Ava, so I see no reason to get invested in Sonny and Olivia.

I have similar reservations about A.J. and Elizabeth. I love their chemistry, and I desperately want them to work, but they are moving at a snail's pace, and for every step forward, they end up taking two steps back. Angst in a romance is fine, but it's like the writers are afraid to commit to Quiz. Why have A.J. and Carly hooked up, but we've only seen a few kisses, most of which were downright chaste, between A.J. and Elizabeth? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't A.J. supposed to be falling hard for Elizabeth and visa versa? It's been months now since A.J. and Elizabeth decided to be more than friends, yet they haven't progressed past hand-holding and a half-dozen stolen kisses.

A.J. and Elizabeth are healthy mature adults, so what's with the celibacy? Heck, even the teens are getting more action.

Elsewhere at the park, Britt crashed Patrick's party, and it promptly turned into a great big beautiful disaster when Britt accidentally threw Emma's doll into a grill.

I love Mac, but it was really hard to tell that Mac had raised three girls from the way he reacted to the whole melted doll debacle. Poor Emma had already been traumatized by witnessing the doll burst into flames, so she certainly didn't need to hear the grisly details thanks to Mac's running commentary as he tried to scrape the grill clean. Don't get me wrong, it was absolutely hilarious (see below), but oh so inappropriate of Mac.

I don't like Britt, and I'm more certain than ever that Britt is carrying Dante and Lulu's baby, but I find that Britt does make Patrick and Sabrina more interesting. Sabrina has a tendency to be too sweet, too kind, and too good, except when it comes to Britt. Britt spices Sabrina up, which I think gives Sabrina more depth. I tend to be drawn to characters that are mostly good but can be feisty when needed. Sabrina has some spark, but they don't show it often, so there are times when she feels a bit too G-rated for me. I find myself often rooting for Sabrina simply because she's pitted against Britt, not necessarily because I'm a big fan of Sabrina's.

I know that the truth about Britt's pregnancy is going to eventually come out because it's a soap, and no secret ever stays a secret forever. I want Sabrina to be the one to expose Britt's lies because I hate the way that Britt has always treated Sabrina, but I want Sabrina to get her hands a little dirty doing it. It would make the payoff that much sweeter if Sabrina beats Britt at her own game by showing Britt that Sabrina can be just as devious as Britt if needed.

What I don't want to happen is for my darling Nikolas to be the one to help Britt pick up the pieces when Britt's world crumbles. Britt deserves to be completely alone because what she did is beyond wrong, not only to Patrick, but to Dante and Lulu. If that baby that Britt is carrying is indeed Dante and Lulu's child then Britt literally stole it from its parents, and that is unforgivable.

As much as I hated it, I don't blame Nikolas for showing Britt some compassion when he saw her crying in the park because he doesn't know anything about her. However, I'm terrified that Nikolas is going to try to get over Elizabeth by getting involved with Britt. Britt shouldn't get a happily ever after with a charming handsome prince like Nikolas after all of the awful things that she's done. I pray that the writers don't go there.

I also pray that someone buys Morgan a shirt and a muzzle. The more that I get to know this new Morgan, the less that I like him. I get that he's changed because his parents threw him in a military boarding school and forgot about him and that he's probably jealous of Michael because it's clear that Sonny favored Michael over all of the other children, including Morgan. However, Morgan doesn't get to talk that way to his brother, especially after helping himself to Michael's credit card and racking up a $10,000 gambling debt.

I have no idea what Kiki sees in Morgan. He's loud, abrasive, over-sexed, and too lazy to go out and get a job. No wonder she's having steamy fantasies about her cousin, Michael. I would totally root for Michael and Kiki, if the idea of first cousins getting romantically involved didn't give me the willies. However, there are just some lines that I can't ignore or cross, even for a fictional pairing. Incest is one of them. Rape is another, which is why I was never a fan of Luke and Laura.

A few things that tickled my fancy

(Michael chokes on a sip of water as A.J. reveals that A.J. and Carly had sex)
Michael: "I'm sorry -- you did what with my mom?"
A.J.: "Okay, that's rhetorical, right?"
Michael: "Yeah, that's rhetorical."
A.J.: "You and I have definitely got to stop discussing our sex lives while drinking water."

(Michael tries to wrap his mind around the idea that A.J. and Carly had slept together)
Michael: "I thought you and my mom hated each other."
A.J.: "Oh, oh, we do -- with a passion. It was just one of those crazy nights."
Michael: "So, you guys can't stand each other, yet you sleep together?"
A.J.: "Uh, at least she's not my first cousin."
A.J.: "Too soon?"

(Franco and Ava make a point of passionately kissing in front of Kiki)
Kiki: "Stop! Stop! Please stop before I regurgitate my lunch."
Franco: "Ew."
Kiki: "Ew -- not ew. Me, ew you. You're the ew."

(Ava accuses Franco of being a psychopath)
Franco: "You really hoped that I had gotten past you taking a shot at me?"
Ava: "Past the inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. You play these little games in your head, and they spill over into real life, and then you actually wonder why people refer to you as 'psychopath'."
Franco: "I am not a psychopath. I am highly functioning sociopath."

(Mac tries to scrape off pieces of plastic from the grill)
Mac: "Man, I'm never gonna be able to remove all this melted baby doll flesh."

(Later, Mac makes a discovery in the grill as a horrified Emma overhears)
Felicia: "Oh, my God, what is that?"
Mac: "I think it's Baby Ariel's left leg."
Emma: "How could Baby Ariel go to heaven without her left leg?"

(Sabrina explains that the doll only needs a good soul to get into heaven)
Emma: "Not everyone has one of those."
Emma (glares accusingly at Britt): "Do they?"

Thank you for taking the time to read this week's column. I love to read your thoughts, too, so click here to send me an email or scroll down the page to leave comments.

Until next time, dear readers, take care.
Liz Masters

Liz Masters
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