That loud thud you heard at the close of Friday's show? Yeah, that was my jaw hitting the floor.
Once I recovered from the shock of seeing Dante kiss Valerie, I was delighted to notice that the beautiful Holly Sutton was back, packing heat, and looking as glam as ever. But more on that later.
First, I want to talk about Dante and Valerie. My husband patiently listened to me rant for about ten minutes about what a faithless rat-bastard Dante was for kissing Valerie. When I ran out of breath, he calmly remarked that I'm way too invested in these characters and then pointed out that I was essentially whining over getting what I had asked for. "Wait, what?," I thought. Then I recalled that in last week's column I had mentioned that Dante and Lulu's marriage needed a little shaking up to keep things interesting.
I realized two things at that moment: my hubby was right and he secretly reads my columns. Hi, Hun!
Still, I wasn't expecting any lip-locking to happen, especially with Dante or Lulu initiating the kiss. And Dante did kiss Valerie, not the other way around. Valerie certainly didn't object, but she was not the one to pull Dante to her lips. What bothered me more than Dante's brief lapse of sanity was the fact that he kissed Valerie while his son slept nearby. It's one thing to get swept up in the heat of the moment, but it's another thing to forget that your child is just a few feet away and old enough to recognize when Daddy isn't kissing Mommy. Shame, shame, Dante.
Don't get me wrong, Lulu isn't exactly innocent in this whole mess. She was completely wrong for not only lying to Dante about where she was going but for getting a room with Dillon once she reached her final destination. Claiming that she and Dillon are just friends doesn't fly either because the bottom line is that they have romantic history together.
I trust my husband, but running off with a sexy ex and shacking up in a hotel room with her without my knowledge, even if there wasn't anything untoward going on, is a line he can't cross without some serious ramifications. Love is a battlefield, and I'm well armed.
However, the greater betrayal is Dante's because, regardless of what he suspects his wife of doing, it was wrong for him to kiss someone. Clearly, Dante is attracted to Valerie as more than a friend, otherwise he wouldn't have kissed her. It's as simple as that. The attraction didn't just pop up like a turkey timer; it was simmering under the surface for a while in order for Dante to grab Valerie like that. Dante's kiss with Valerie is a strong indication of a far bigger problem than Lulu disappearing with Dillon.
Dante doesn't trust Lulu because he doesn't trust himself. He knows there's a kernel of truth to Lulu's concerns about Valerie, but instead of acknowledging it and dealing with it head-on, he's hiding behind his anger, which is blinding him to what's really going on with Lulu.
For a detective, Dante sucks when it comes to looking at the facts. Fact one: Luke abruptly called off his engagement to Tracy. Fact two: Luke and Laura quickly left town. Fact three: Lulu and Dillon, who had been furious with Luke and Laura, suddenly started keeping secrets and then also left town. Those things alone add up to a Spencer adventure not an illicit affair, but beyond that, Dante should now Lulu better than to assume she is carrying on a torrid affair with Dillon. She wouldn't be affectionate with her husband if she were having an affair, and she certainly wouldn't just abandon Rocco on the spur of the moment to run off for a tryst with her lover. There are a billon places in town to spend time alone with Dillon rather than risk being caught by leaving town on a flimsy excuse.
I know Dante is hurt because he believes the worst, but he should be looking for answers not Valerie's tonsils.
It doesn't appear to me that Lulu is attracted to Dillon. I've only gotten the friendship vibe from them -- at least on her part -- but if there is an ember of desire for Dillon inside Lulu, Dante's betrayal with Valerie will be the tinder that might spark a flame to life. If that happens, Dante will only have himself to blame.
Valerie doesn't get a free pass either, because she is Lulu's cousin. Family doesn't and shouldn't do that to each other, even if there isn't a long history. Additionally, Valerie should have respected the sanctity of marriage, regardless of her feelings for Dante. Speaking of which, Valerie should have recognized that he was acting on his attraction to her because he believes his wife betrayed him, not because he was overwhelmed by his desire for Valerie. She cheapened herself by letting him use her like that.
Now, back to the shenanigans in British Columbia.
Confession time. I immediately popped over to Soap Central to take a quick look at Jennifer Smith's profile the minute she identified herself. I couldn't remember who the heck she was beyond being Frank Smith's daughter and having an obsession with Luke. I was shocked to discover that Jennifer Smith's main claim to fame is that both Sally Struthers and Roseanne Barr each portrayed her at one time. No wonder I didn't recognize her when she entered the Triple L diner.
By far, the most cringe-worthy moment for me was when Jennifer made the remark about not bothering to buy the cow when she could have the milk for free in reference to having a night of unbridled sex with Luke in exchange for Lucky's life and freedom. The mental image that popped into my head was not pleasant, so I will spare you the details, but it made me want dip my brain in bleach.
Frankly, I agreed with Laura. It was coercion and therefore a form of rape. I applauded Laura for making it clear that she wasn't interested in seeing Luke punished in her name for raping her years ago at the campus disco. I never truly liked Luke because of that -- and for running down Jake while driving drunk -- but revenge is a messy business and never ends well for anyone, especially the person seeking vengeance.
I wasn't surprised that, in the end, Jennifer wasn't behind Lucky's abduction. That would have been anticlimatic and a huge letdown. I want to know Luke's enemy on sight and be blown away by who it is, not have to run to look up the person's profile to refresh my memory. I'm not the least bit disappointed that Jennifer slinked away with her desire unquenched and no closure because the villain holding Lucky needs to be far cleverer than she is.
Perhaps someone from the League of Doom like Jerry Jacks, Helena and Stavros Cassadine, Cesar Faison, or, last but not least, Victor Cassadine? Or -- for a real twist -- an enemy from the dead like Stefan Cassadine. If anyone has good reason to hurt Luke, it's one of his victims.
Whoever it is, I will be disappointed if Luke's adversary turns out to be anyone less than an arch nemesis because this is Luke's swan song. His exit storyline. It has to be exciting, thrilling, and believable. It's for that very reason that I was overjoyed to see Holly Sutton make an appearance in Luke and Laura's hotel room at the close of Friday's show.
Does it mean that Holly is behind Lucky's kidnapping? Unlikely, because I can't see her abducting her son's half-brother. Plus, I'm pretty sure Robert might raise an objection or two. It's being reported that both Lucky and Ethan will be returning for a short stint, so it's a safe bet that Holly is there for the same reason that Luke and Laura are; Ethan is missing too. It's the only thing that makes sense.
I'm so eager to see what happens next week that I've already programmed my DVR, even though I watch the episodes live. I have a feeling they will be episodes worth saving.
Back in Port Charles, several other indecent proposals were forged when Madeline got into bed with Ric in more ways than one. The two took their partnership to the next level and were almost caught by Nina when Nina unexpectedly returned to the hotel room, looking for her wayward husband. I'm not sure why Madeline decided to lurk around the corner, wearing a matching bathrobe to the one Ric had on instead of getting dressed, but I'm sure slick Ric will figure a way out of his little predicament without Nina picking up on the affair.
Meanwhile, Ron Carlivati once again tapped into my fantasies by giving me what I had wished for. I think Ric and Madeline are perfect for each other and very reminiscent of the days when Ric joined forces with Faith Roscoe. It should be a lot of fun to see what unfolds with these two stirring up trouble. I also can't wait for Nina to find out about the affair because I have no doubt that it will be deliciously hilarious. I just hope that Franco is with Nina when it happens.
It might be wrong, but I love Madeline. She's wildly wicked and completely unrepentant, but she does apparently have a drop of maternal instinct in her because she slapped Ric into next week when he suggested that they kill Nina. It seems Madeline has a line that even she won't cross. Putting Nina in a coma, triggering a miscarriage, stealing Nina's fortune, sleeping with her husband, and institutionalizing Nina are okay, but be warned that Madeline will turn Mama Bear in a heartbeat if anyone so much as gives her precious daughter a paper cut.
Another unlikely alliance was formed between Franco and Ava/Denise when Franco enlisted "Denise" to pose has his new girlfriend. Ava jumped at the opportunity because she's desperate to find someone to keep her mind and hands off of Morgan, now that Morgan is no longer spitting insults at her whenever he sees her. The problem with Ava's plan is that Franco might appear flighty and simple-minded, but he's not. He's cunning, diabolical, observant, and very dangerous. I give him until the end of the week to figure out that Denise is really Ava -- if for no other reason than because of that black mop posing as hair atop her head.
The dark color is stunning on Maura West -- it makes her gorgeous blue eyes pop -- but it looks like a Halloween wig to me, so it's too distracting. It's time for "Denise" to get a makeover that transforms her back into a blonde. Let her tease it up Dolly Parton style to keep up the persona of Denise, but please, please, pretty please, ditch the Cleopatra look.
The person who annoyed me the most this week was Sabrina. Disappointing, since I had really grown to like her lately. Her newfound friendship with Tracy is interesting, and I love the romance blossoming between her and Michael because they have real chemistry and are adorable as a family with Avery.
However, Sabrina lost me the second she started to push Michael to give Avery back to Sonny. Not just that, but she chose to do it on the very night that Michael turned up on her doorstep with his hopes and dreams in tattered ruins, looking for succor. Instead, he got a softly spoken lecture about forgiving his father's killer. Talk about kicking someone when they're down.
Isn't Sonny still a mobster? Wasn't he declared unfit to care for Avery, the daughter whose mother he wouldn't hesitate to shoot between the eyes if he had the chance? I couldn't understand why Sabrina would endorse Avery being returned to Sonny given how things had turned out with Michael and A.J.
Doesn't Sabrina see that Avery would ultimately be in the same exact position with Sonny that Michael had been in when A.J. became a part of Michael's life? Then again, I guess not, since Sabrina has no idea that Ava is part cat and has nine lives. Well, seven now. It will be interesting to see if Sabrina has a change of heart once that little bombshell drops.
I hope Michael settles on a compromise by agreeing to allow Sonny supervised visits with Avery. I do believe that Avery should be allowed to have a relationship with her father, but I don't think Sonny has the right to raise her when he continues to engage in a dangerous lifestyle and illegal activity. It's not fair to Avery. I also hope Michael stops referring to Avery as A.J. because Avery is a pretty name, and she's an adorable child. It should be enough that her legal name is Avery Jerome Quartermaine.
I know I'll probably get flack for this, but I want Avery to stay with Michael and to remain a Quartermaine. Michael made some valid points when he told Sabrina that Avery would still be in danger with Sonny and that his sister will have a better and safer life with Michael than Michael and his siblings had with Sonny.
Poor advice aside, I do enjoy watching Sabrina and Tracy's friendship grow. Tracy seems to do well with younger women. I suspect it's because there's a part of Tracy that likes to be a mentor. Tracy has mellowed with age, so she tends to be a lot more nurturing these days, which would make Lila proud. However, I disagree with Tracy's assessment that she doesn't have any female friends. She does.
Lulu is not just like a daughter to Tracy but also Tracy's best friend and first defender. Alice has a soft spot for Tracy, too, and even Monica can be counted on when the chips are down. Although, I do concede that Tracy and Monica's relationship is a little more complex because they are more like two sisters who have nothing in common but are thrown together through fate rather than choice, so they kind of have to put up with each other.
Finally, can we please have Rosalie's secret exposed? Not because I'm all that eager to know what it is -- at this point I honestly no longer care -- but rather because it will mean she has outlived her usefulness as a character.
Hayden was far more entertaining than Rosalie is, so if we have a bad girl on the canvas, then I'd rather it be Hayden. Luckily, I might get my wish with that one too.
So, how did Jennifer know that Luke and Laura told Dillon and Lulu about Lucky's abduction? Clearly, the Haunted Star is bugged, so I would think that Laura would give her daughter a heads-up if for no other reason than to keep the kidnappers from overhearing anything else that might be used against the Spencers.
Will Nikolas hang Helena's portrait where Edward's once graced the reception area of ELQ?
Um, what was Dillon doing running around on the first floor of the mansion in a towel after his shower? Aren't the bedrooms upstairs? That's a rhetorical question because I know that they are. Sure, Lulu knocked on the French doors, but unless Dillon has bionic hearing, he shouldn't have heard her, even if he had been standing in the foyer.
Why exactly hasn't Morgan moved in with Sonny yet? Honestly, I would have thought that would be the first thing he'd do after he and Sonny had kissed and made up. The second would be to take over the golden child's bedroom.
The writers give a shout-out to Demi Moore
Luke: "Jennifer, you need help. You've always been a tad -- shall we say unhinged? But this is full-blown delusion."
Jennifer: "I'm not delusional. I'm practical. I mean, you're really making this sound as if this is some sort of unheard of transaction. I mean, really, have either one of you ever seen that movie Indecent Proposal with Robert Redford and that actress -- the one that -- she looks like Jackie Templeton."
Tracy springs to Michael's defense in spectacular fashion when Lucy decides to lecture him about his behavior toward Sonny and Duke
Tracy: "Oh, for pity's sake. Correct me if I'm wrong; you seduced my late brother, you tricked him into marrying you, you cheated on him with Scott Baldwin, and then when you came up pregnant, you tried to pass the baby off as Alan's. Where and in what universe do you qualify to judge Michael for trying to protect his baby sister?"
Take care and happy viewing,
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