La Vie En Rose

For the Week of November 16, 2015
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La Vie En Rose
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The truth was out there, and it is spreading through Port Charles like wildfire! Jake is Jason, Dante is a cheater, Ava has Avery, Hayden was faking, Maxie loves fashion, and Sonny is still hot in a wheelchair. Let's dish about this and all the other excitement of Port Charles in this week's Two Scoops!

Dear readers, I intended to entitle my column this week "Baby, It's Just You and Me (The Sequel)" and dive right into the JaSam goodness, but with what is going on in Paris right now, I just couldn't write about soaps before sending my prayers and love to the people in Paris today. Believe it or not, there are Parisian soap fans -- I get emails from all over the world. So, to all French GH fans -- and everyone in France -- your global soap community has you in their hearts today.

I dearly love Paris. I've only been once, but I just wanted to lie down in the streets and melt into the ground. I didn't want to leave. It is magical and beautiful. The thought that anyone would want to hurt a single soul in that glorious city is unthinkable to me.

I don't understand terrorism. I don't understand fanaticism. While I believe in God, I have never felt compelled to hurt anyone who didn't share my views. I have friends who are Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, and Atheist, and I have nothing but love for them in my heart. I don't understand why anyone would believe in anything so much that they'd murder innocent people to make a point. That is pure evil. Pray for peace and sanity to prevail.

Okay, now... to soaps.

Baby, it's just you and me (The Sequel)
Dear JaSam fans, the moment you have waited for has finally arrived! Jake finally knows he is Jason, and Sam knows he is Jason. Kelly Monaco has turned in some of her finest work ever this week. (Not to mention that stunning blue dress she had on for the wedding!) Every time she cries, I cry with her. Can you imagine? The husband that she thought was dead has come back, but with a new face, and he doesn't remember her or anything about their life together. Bittersweet, to say the least. She is imploring him to remember by kissing him, touching his hand, showing him reminders of their life together. Man, that Helena is good with the brainwashing, isn't she? She's like "Men in Black device" good.

There is a tangible chemistry with Sam and Jason, even though he doesn't remember their life together. Maybe that's the real-life chemistry of Billy and Kelly shining through, but it's a joy to see that sizzle on-screen.

Jason now knows who he is and yet remembers nothing. He has only had small flashes that never paint an accurate picture of his former life. People are pulling at him from every side, asking him to remember things he can't recall, just like when he went from Jason Q to Jason M back in the day. What I would dearly love is if the new shrink in town helps him to remember his whole life, all the Quartermaine memories -- including his parents and grandparents, his days in medical school, as well as his mob life. That would allow this new version of Jason to morph into a more well-rounded character. Not just a mob enforcer and not just a nerdy preppy, but a hybrid Jason who is both good and bad, a man who can be both tender and lethal, intellectual and silly, a man with a rich life history to build storyline upon for years to come. Oh, writers, please hear me on this: if there was ever a season when I wished I could write for GH instead of about GH, this is it.

This week was filled with powerhouse performances. Laura Wright, both last week and this week, was on fire. Carly's passion for Jason was evident as she fought to convince everyone of his true identity. I read that Ms. Wright thanked the writers for letting her be the one to find out Jake's true identity. She was exactly the right person to get those revelation scenes because Carly and Jason's friendship has always been built on a foundation of solid stone. Through multiple romantic partners, marriages, births, deaths, crimes, and trials, those two best friends stood together through it all. Those kinds of friendships are so rare and so precious.

The Jason/Carly friendship is one of my favorite "supercouple" pairings ever on-screen. They are not lovers, but they have loved each other unconditionally and fiercely. They had each other's backs consistently for years. When their significant others complained about their friendship or felt threatened by their bond, they never let those objections deter their friendship. It was a non-negotiable fact of life. Billy Miller and Laura Wright have managed to bring that bond to life for us this week in a way that both made my heart ache and filled it with joy. They have an old friendship as Jason and Carly and a formed new friendship, just as powerful, as Jake and Carly. Their connection of souls has always been so easy. "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." New face, new name? No problem.

One of the most enjoyable scenes for me was when Monica showed up at the door. She was one of the few people who gave Jason no pressure to be or remember anything. She just asked for a hug and expressed her support and love. What a gift for her as a mom who has lost all of her kids to find that one of them is actually still alive!

But then there is Liz... I'm so mad at her. Rebecca Herbst is playing this perfectly, the mix of fear and conniving and feigned innocence; she's killing it in every scene. But I am so mad at her character, I can barely look at her face! The first week she decided to keep Jake's identity to herself, I took her side. Why? Because having a burning passion for a man for years that you were never able to have and finding a way to have him was a reasonable motivation for her choices. Have you ever been in love with someone you couldn't be with? I get that. I understand what would drive a woman to do such a thing. When Liz initially kept the secret of Jakes' true identity from him, I understood her.

But I never thought she'd be able to keep the secret. As the months dragged on and her conscience never kicked in the way I assumed it would, I grew less enchanted by her choice. The romantic notion that initially sucked me in eventually repelled me. I hated her for her lie, and I hated myself for sticking up for her, just as I am disgusted with myself when I lie. Jake was Jason, and he had a wife and a kid he didn't know about. Liz knew and said nothing even as she watched him frantically search for his true identity. That's when she lost me. When this man she loved was desperate to know about his past and she held the answers and didn't tell him, I loathed her for it.

Can Laura persuade her to come clean? I am so thankful to have Laura back in town to be the moral compass and voice of reason in Port Charles. She doesn't demand or blackmail, she just keeps gently urging people to do the right thing and make the best choices. Since Lila died and Emily died, we have not had anyone in town who is just a good, kind person advising all the maniacs in Port Charles to behave and to be the best versions of themselves. Both Nikolas and Liz have gone down a very dark, murky road this past year, and I wonder how they can find their way back to hero status. Laura is doing her best to persuade them, but without much success thus far.

But that's the scene I am waiting for next! I can hardly wait until it comes out that Elizabeth knew Jason's identity. I am eagerly anticipating those catfights with Liz and Carly, and Liz and Sam. Not to mention the fury of anger that she will get from both Jake and Patrick. As for Nikolas, I want Jason to punch Nik in the face hard, get back his stocks, and take over ELQ with Michael.

Back to Patrick, I feel so sad for him! Why do people come back from the dead every time he tries to get married? I can't figure out what's up with Robin. Is she still trying to resurrect Victor Cassadine? Why is she still being held prisoner? Is it still Helena, or is it Jerry Jax, or Faison, or all of them combined in the Legend of Doom? Here's a handy tip for you if you are trying to tell someone some vital information when thugs are after you - just blurt it out. Don't explain about how you don't have much time, don't apologize for the last call, just spit out the main thing you called to say, so when the thugs burst through the door and take your phone, the news is already out.

What do you suppose the rest of the story is? We already know Jake is Jason. We know Helena programmed his brain. We know he had plastic surgery. What else is left? Also, if Anna spent half as much time thinking about why her daughter isn't in touch with her as she did worrying about Ghost Carlos, Robin would be home right now. Her spy game is way off these days. Since Patrick's day in Port Charles are numbered with Jason' Thompson's departure, one can only assume that Robin will get free just in time to walk off into the sunset with Patrick and Emma. Robert is coming back, too -- but for how long? I hope it's not just a tease visit and that he actually stays and helps Anna find her mojo again.

As the news rang out at Liz's wedding that Jake was Jason, across town, Ava was goading Sonny into threatening to kill her -- on tape. C'mon Sonny, don't you know how Ava works yet? The trial was going completely in Sonny's favor until his own big mouth lost him the case.

I have a bone to pick with Sonny... Carly came in with a bloody head, all bandaged up after a car accident, and he just yelled at her for missing his hearing. I always knew Sonny was selfish, but that was pretty brutal, even for him. My husband is much nicer. Once, I totaled our car by swerving off the road into a ditch to avoid hitting a cat (yes, really), and I expected him to be furious with me. But he was only worried about me being okay and held me and whispered in my ear, "Honey, next time just hit the cat." Hahaha.

So, Sonny tuned Carly out and refused to listen to what she had to say -- and she had to come back with reinforcements, as in Jason in the flesh. When Sonny saw Jake and finally believed he was Jason, his eyes teared up and I forgave him because sad mobsters always get to me.

Sonny's son Dante is having a pretty lousy week, too. The word of his affair was blasted out to most of the town, and his marriage is in shambles. He swears he wants Lulu back, yet he can't seem to stay away from her stupid clingy cousin. Readers, I have to tell you that the fact the writers are making Valerie a cop just pisses me off. Seriously? Would the powers that be at the PCPD seriously partner Valerie with her cousin by marriage with whom the whole town knows she had an inappropriate fling? I think not. I want Lulu and Dante to be reunited, to have their baby, and to be happy. And if this is the start of endless tension, I am already over it. Here's some advice to Dante: Stop hugging Valerie. Your wife won't keep walking in and finding you in the arms of her cousin that you slept with if you just stop hugging her.

And now for a few #SoapLifeLessons:

• If you are planning a wedding in Port Charles, just freaking elope.
• You can commit virtually any crime and never face punishment. Just ask Ava, Sonny, Julian, Ric, Spinelli, Franco, and Nina.
• Never drive a car after discovering a big secret. You will definitely crash before you can tell anyone.
• Never drive on that one road in Port Charles where Jake got hit and Carly's car got wrecked.
• Never pretend your baby is dead nor lie about its paternity.
• Never unburden your soul by confessing your sins to a friend, or it will end up on a video screen for the whole town to see.
• Never attend a costume party. They rarely end well.

Do you have any Soap Life Lessons of your own? If you're on Twitter, tweet them @soapcentral with the #SoapLifeLessons hashtag.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will anyone call Spinelli and tell him his program worked? Will he ever come back for his beloved laptop? Will he leave the morphing face of Jason on as his screensaver? Will I ever care about what Paul is up to? Will I ever care about what Jordan is up to? Will Sonny adopt Kiki and make her an honorary Corinthos, since she stuck up for him in court? Will Nina take credit for Maxie's work at Crimson? Will Nina make Maxie go out and get her coffee? Will Lulu come back as second assistant? Will Franco pass his psych exam, or will Liesl fake it for him? What will Spencer do for love when Emma moves away and Josslyn has suddenly turned 14? Will Hayden stay at Wyndemere with Nikolas for free or move into the Q mansion with her new partner in crime, Tracy? Will Emma get lured into the woods, looking for a fake puppy?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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