This week on General Hospital -- and last week -- time was relative, as the Fourth of July stretched out over seven episodes and practically ground to a halt on Cassadine Island.
But first, let's jump to the future, when Sonny paid Alexis a visit to check on her and discuss everything that had happened with Julian. At first, I had assumed that it was the day after Julian's arrest, but then Alexis looked at her calendar to check when she was scheduled to meet with Diane and noticed that it was July 13, 2016 -- the date the episode aired.
At least, that's the way it appeared, since Alexis quickly flipped back to June then May as her expression filled with dread. I'm assuming it was because she realized that there was a potential visit from the stork in her not-too-distant future. Had it been the fifth of July, then there wouldn't have been any need for concern because she would have had eight days to go before her menses were due.
Actually, there still isn't any reason to be concerned because when a woman Alexis' age misses a period, it's usually because menopause is banging on the door rather than because she's pregnant. I'm not sure how old Alexis is, but based on the ages of her daughters and when she had Sam, I'm going to guess that she's in her late 40s to early 50s. True, she could have a change-of-life baby, but Alexis is way too anal not to use birth control if there was even the slightest chance that she could get pregnant -- especially after what had happened with Olivia.
It appears that if you are a mobster, you are gifted with super sperm, because both Julian and Sonny have passels of children with a plethora of women.
If you had told me a few months ago that Julian and Alexis would be adding to their brood, I would have been ecstatic. However, the writers have completely annihilated Julian and turned him into someone I don't even recognize -- or much like -- these days.
I know that Helena cursed Sam and Sam's loved ones to never know happiness again, but why is Alexis the one paying the steepest price? And why, exactly, are the writers so intent on destroying one of the best couples on the show?
It's as if they want to piss off fans and drive away viewers.
I hate what has been done to Julian, especially since it allows Sonny to walk around crowing that he was right all along about his archnemesis. There's nothing more annoying than a smug Sonny -- except perhaps an arrogant Jason.
On Cassadine Island, where it's been the same night since last Tuesday, Jason and his trusty loyal sidekick Sam were barking orders and taking prisoners -- literally. The writing is so heavy-handed and ridiculous that I'm actually rooting for Theo to shoot Jason simply because Jason is such a complete tool and needs to be knocked down a few pegs.
Ever since Jason's memories returned, he's morphed into a controlling, closed-minded, violent thug who is completely insufferable and bullies people.
It was the snapping of Jason's fingers -- first when he ordered Nikolas to hand over the phone and then when he demanded answers from Theo -- that did it for me. If someone ever snapped their fingers at me the way that Jason did when he talked to Nikolas and Theo, I would have broken those digits like brittle little twigs.
I miss Jake Doe, and I don't understand why the writers didn't mesh Jason's two personalities when his memories returned. Instead, they created a monster that I'm growing to detest with every fiber of my being. Even Billy Miller looks like he's miserable playing the character.
Worse, Sam has been reduced to a simpering idiot whose blind devotion to Jason is downright nauseating. All the spunk and independence we saw after Jason died has been leeched right out of her, and she's now relegated to being Jason's cheerleader.
Worse, Kelly Monaco's performances have been lackluster at best. She speaks in such a soft monotone voice that I'm forced to turn on closed captioning just to understand what she's saying. Before anyone advises me to get my hearing checked, it's fine because I can understand everyone else perfectly.
Maybe Kelly is as miserable with the writing for her as I am.
I was really disappointed in Sam when she showed zero compassion for her cousin after Nikolas was hurt. I get that she's mad at him for not telling her that Jason was alive and for unintentionally framing Jason for his murder, but Sam is far from perfect and ultimately got everything she wanted, including proof that Nikolas was alive.
I didn't understand why Sam would suggest that she and Jason tie Nikolas and Ava up in a locked room when she knew that Jason suspected someone else was lurking on the island and had attacked Nikolas. It seemed unnecessary and made her look bad.
Also baffling was the lack of weapons in a home that Helena had once occupied. I expected guns, daggers, poisons, even a curse or two to be stashed in every nook and cranny of that house for Nikolas to snatch and use to gain the upper hand over Jason and Sam. I also expected there to be a secret door in Helena's bedroom that led to an escape tunnel.
It was ludicrous to think that Jason and Sam could hold Nikolas and Ava prisoner in Nikolas' childhood home with nothing more than attitude and a fireplace poker. It was also ridiculous to suggest that Jason and Sam could force Nikolas to leave the country he was born in or to imply that Nikolas couldn't send for his son.
I was pretty frustrated with the writing and developments on the island until Theo showed up. I instantly knew that he wasn't just some fisherman seeking shelter during the storm. Not because I saw him spying on everyone before Jason caught him skulking about but because someone had clobbered Nikolas on the head.
Jason's arrogance allowed him to underestimate Theo, and that is why everyone ended up staring down the barrel of a gun at the close of Friday's show.
So, now the question is -- who is Theo? The tattoo of the Cassadine family crest on the inside of his wrist indicates that he's a Cassadine. Plus, it seemed like there was a lot of foreshadowing when Theo looked at the tome of Cassadine family history, and Laura told Kevin that she suspected Helena's clues leading Laura to the island were separate from what was going on with Nikolas. As Laura pointed out, Helena couldn't have known that Nikolas would fake his death and seek refuge at the family stronghold.
Could Theo be the dreaded and much feared Valentin Cassadine -- Mikkos' illegitimate son -- that Helena had once mentioned with a quiver of fear in her voice? Or is Theo the son of another Cassadine like Victor or even Stavros?
I suspect that he's Valentin, unleashed on everyone when Helena discovered that someone had been poisoning her and that Nikolas had been behind it.
I absolutely believe that journal that Ava found next to Helena's bed once belonged to Helena and that the entry had been written by her very hand because she had intended for Laura to find it. The question is why.
If Theo isn't the scary Cassadine that even Helena was terrified of, perhaps he's more closely connected to Nikolas than anyone could guess -- like a fraternal twin brother.
I don't recall if the circumstances of Nikolas' birth were ever discussed, but it's certainly within the realm of possibility that Helena had kept Laura and Stefan in the dark about Laura carrying twin boys and then later drugging Laura so that Laura wouldn't remember the details of the delivery. I can see Helena spiriting away a baby to raise and use as a pawn to destroy lives down the road. That's exactly what she tried to do with Jake.
Speaking of Laura, did anyone catch that, when she called Nikolas after confiscating Spencer's phone, it was the same late hour in Greece as it was in Port Charles, despite Greece being seven hours ahead of U.S. Eastern Standard Time? Oh, and even though Laura had called Kevin in the middle of the night to tell him that she was on the hunt for Nikolas, Kevin managed to get to Greece shortly after Laura, Lulu, and Dante arrived -- before sunrise.
They must have borrowed Alexis' time machine.
On to Josslyn and the mystery of where her kidney came from. My gut tells me that it was a nefarious deal between Jerry Jacks and Helena Cassadine. I suspect that Jax either turned to his brother for help or found out after the fact, which is why Jax asked Carly to drop it. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that Jax went along with the lie that it was Jake's kidney to cover up that Jerry and Helena purchased it on the black market.
I'm also fairly certain that Ramona/Theresa talked to Jax after she spoke to Carly.
I don't blame Carly for wanting to know where the kidney came from because if I were in her shoes, I'd want to know too. Unfortunately, Carly is an idiot. Seconds after promising Sonny that she'd let him screen anyone who seemed like a viable lead, she arranged to meet a woman who claimed to have the same blood type as Josslyn and had had a kidney removed and sold through a broker around the same time that Josslyn had the transplant.
It would serve Carly right if Julian's thug Hammer were waiting for her when she arrived at the meeting place.
Speaking of meeting places, Sonny opened a coffee shop on the promenade called Perks Coffee. Sound businessman
Aaron is way too good to be true, which means that there's a monster lurking inside of him. My guess is that he's going to turn out to be a raging homophobe, which Kristina will discover when Parker stops by to pay a visit and Aaron meets Kristina's professor. I'm also certain that there's far more to the story about the day he was at the Freedman Clinic than meets the eye.
I hope I'm wrong because it's really nice to see Kristina is a strong, healthy relationship for once. The idea of Parker and Kristina doesn't appeal to me because I see Parker as someone who plays games with Kristina. At least, that's the way it appeared when Parker kept showing up at Kristina's doorstep instead of just letting Kristina move on.
Like Claudette hovering around Nathan, I think Parker accepted the offer to be a keynote speaker in Kristina's hometown because she wants to see Kristina, and like before, I expect that they are going to have the same talk about how Parker is married and wishes Kristina well. However, actions speak louder than words, and as I said, Parker keeps popping up in Kristina's life on the flimsiest of pretexts.
That's why I absolutely love that Nathan sees through Claudette's games and calls her out on it.
It's honestly refreshing to watch a couple handle things the right way with an ex who is up to no good. It's actually fun to see Maxie and Nathan present a united front to deal with Claudette without allowing insecurities to seep in and weaken their deep commitment to each other.
I can't wait until Griffin finds out that Claudette is in town because I'm certain that he'll do the right thing and side with Maxie and Nathan.
The writers are doing everything right with this storyline and with Franco and Liz's story too.
I wavered about Franco and Liz for several reasons that I've addressed in past columns, but the more time they spend with each other, the more I like them. I like that Franco isn't childish when he talks to Liz and that he cuts to the chase to get to the root of what's going on instead of plotting and hatching ridiculous schemes to be around her.
When Liz acknowledged that she'd spent years thinking of Franco as a violent sadist and talked about her history of picking the wrong men, I was really happy. It was important to hear that because there is a lot of dark history between Franco and Liz, and I don't want her -- or him -- pretending it doesn't exist. That stuff needs to be talked through before they move forward, so it's a step in the right direction that she insists on taking things slowly.
I don't want Franco to be another one of Liz's mistakes. She deserves some happiness, and if it's not going to be with Franco, then I don't want things going further than they have. That's far less likely to happen if she proceeds with caution.
Riddle me this -- why would an experienced mother and grandmother take a child who had gorged himself on hot dogs during an eating contest to the hospital for a bellyache? You only take a child to the hospital if there are serious symptoms.
What's with the pointless scenes? Example: on Friday's episode, Griffin entered Metro Court Restaurant, but before he even sat down, he was called back to the hospital. He spoke to no one. It would be different if it had been a close encounter with Claudette, but they didn't so much as glance in each other's direction. Scenes like that ruin the pacing.
Molly Burnett is doing a great job as Maxie. I usually don't like temporary recasts, but I'm enjoying this one because she's captured the spirit of Kirsten's Maxie, which has made the transition far less awkward. Brava.
Ava has a reaction similar to what I would have had
Ava: "I call the bed."
Nikolas: "By all means."
Ava: [Sighs] "You know, this is surprisingly comfortable."
Nikolas: "Yeah, it was my grandmother's."
Ava: "Helena had great taste."
Nikolas: "Yeah, she died in that bed."
Ava: [leaps off bed] "Okay. A dead woman's bed, a storm on an island -- nothing ominous about that."
Finn discovers never to underestimate Tracy
Finn: "I need to purchase them from a foreign supplier and then find a way to bring them into this country without getting caught. Essentially, what I need is a drug mule. By chance, do you know one?"
Tracy: "By chance, I know two." [nods in Hayden's direction] "Meet Mule Team Finn, at your service."
Alexis calls Sonny out on always barging into her home
Sonny: "Can I come in?"
Alexis: "Ordinarily, you don't ask."
Sonny: "Sometimes I make exceptions."
I was thinking the same thing about Alexis' wire. Why wouldn't they just bug the house or use something less conspicuous? Somehow I don't believe Alexis is pregnant. Not because of her age but I just don't see Alexis as a new mother. This is all part of the plot to take Julian down. -- Stacy Logan
As it stands now, the authorities are still unaware that there even WAS a second shooter -- something Curtis should tell Jordan now that Nikolas is presumed dead -- but even if he did, it wouldn't change anything as far as Shawn is concerned. They may have mistakenly assumed that his bullet hit Hayden, but I as I recall, Shawn was never charged with attempted manslaughter in Hayden's case, so even if the truth came out, it would have very little impact on Shawn's conviction, or the length of his sentence. -- Scrimmage
"Kiki just isn't very good." The actress seems sweet and like she is really trying, but something just doesn't work -- I can't tell if it's the acting or the writing or both. But I don't see how we can have an exciting love triangle when the person at the center of the triangle is boring. I feel the same as you about Dillon and it would be cool for him to have a love story, but other than Kiki, who could they pair him with? -- IK
So are we just supposed to believe that Jordan forgot that Duke worked for Sonny and Duke put a hit out on Jordan and now she and Sonny are BFFs? Saint Duke calling off the hit wouldn't make Jordan any less dead if she hadn't killed the hit man first because he never got the message. And Anna should be happy that Julian killed Carlos since he killed her precious mobster Duke. Heck Anna tried to kill Carlos too, by shooting him FOUR times. LOL -- bikette
Now, I turn the spotlight on you, dear readers. Please, share your thoughts about the show in the comments section below. I love reading what everyone has to say.
Until next time, take care.
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