Okay, deep breath... I have to get myself into a Zen state to write about this bizarre week in Port Charles.
So, Paul was killing all the people at GH because he thought his mentally ill daughter would come out of her catatonic state if he murdered a bunch of people... Dear readers, I am troubled that people got paid to write this mess of a storyline. Presumably, the GH writers have writing experience and they didn't just pick random people off the street to pen a daytime serial. But I'm thinking it was probably the C students, or maybe students like me who dropped out before they finished their English degree to join a repertory theatre group. (Yes, I actually did that. No regrets, lots of fun stories to tell in my old age.)
Whatever the case, this convoluted mess of a storyline left me feeling unsatisfied, afraid for the future success of GH, and with an aching loneliness for Ron Carlivati. Even Fluke was better than this mess.
In spite of the nonsensical storytelling, the actors telling that story are doing incredible things with mediocre material. Jane Elliott and Richard Burgi poured their hearts into this tale and made me care about their troubled characters, Tracy and Paul. But the fact that this serial killer story had such a ridiculous ending makes me regret that I invested any of my time or brainpower on it. I'd rather it had been Heather sneaking out of the mental hospital and killing people who refused to do art therapy with Franco. Just as dumb, but more entertaining.
The high point of this storyline was Anna, our true hero, bursting in to save the day. She is a sight for sore eyes. As we left it on Friday, Paul still had a needle to Tracy's throat, but I can't imagine Paul killing Tracy in front of Dillon. Plus, I honestly do think Anna could make the shot before Paul stabbed Tracy's neck. At least in the confines of soap reality.
I'm sorry, but I find Jordan so boring. I would prefer Anna as police chief again. Jordan barely reacted when Anna showed her the rare cufflinks in Paul's nightstand. Supposedly Jordan was an undercover agent when she first came to Port Charles, but she seemingly has zero instincts or deductive reasoning about the cases she is working on solving. In fact, the entire PCPD is pointless right now. Valerie is a snooze, Dante is off helping Lulu hunt down her demon embryo, Nathan is always somewhere talking to Claudette, and Jordan can't solve any cases. Serial Killer Paul was seemingly good at his job but too busy murdering people to do it.
I think Mayor Lomax should be out of office this election season; let's get Felicia in as mayor. She can rehire Anna, track down Lucky from Nashville, and maybe send Jason to police academy. The PCPD needs a serious overhaul and an infusion of passion.
Speaking of Jason, I loved the scene this week when mom-to-be Sam had taken a nap and Jason had made the kids spaghetti, put them to bed, and let Sam sleep. There was such a tenderness and real life love portrayed in those scenes. Kelly Monaco and Billy Miller have a very sweet chemistry together. I hope they don't muck it up by having Jason revert to his mob life -- or that the writers don't muck it up by breaking them up as they do every happy couple in Port Charles.
My prediction is that when Sonny has his unnamed goons trying to murder Julian, Morgan is going to get hit instead. Since Bryan Craig is leaving the show and we know Ava has been switching his medication, it seems clear that something bad is going to happen. Carly is way nicer than I am, as I would never let Ava upstairs in my house, unattended, if I were Carly. If I am right and Morgan gets hit in the crossfire of trying to get rid of Julian, that will break up Sonny and Carly, too.
Maybe there is hope for one troubled couple. Kevin hijacked Laura's flight home to apologize for his misdeeds. Kevin gave Laura a line about being a "low-level Jedi," which made me laugh, but in reality, tracking down her flight and booking himself on the seat next to her is more like "I'll take 'Things a stalker would do' for $500, Alex." However, I am glad they found a way to bring Laura and Kevin into the same orbit. I do like them together.
So, what do you think, dear readers? Is Claudette's baby really Nathan's? You know, I have exes, and some of them occasionally reach out to me. But if one of them showed up in my town and got a job at my husband's office and started dismantling my life, I would be much less polite to them than Nathan is being to Claudette. In fact, I would say things like "Get out of here, a$$hole. There is a good reason I dumped you."
I think the more interesting storyline would be to have Griffin be the father and have to wrestle with his faith and calling as a priest. That's a story we haven't seen in decades -- a person who has faith and is trying to live by their values and beliefs and struggles with their humanity. I would have enjoyed watching that unfold.
Instead, they opted for the tried and true love triangle between Nathan, Maxie, and Claudette. Christmas at Maxie's place will be interesting with Spinelli and Ellie bringing George by and Claudette showing up with her kid, too. Assuming her daughter isn't still in hiding at Christmas.
Julian is out of jail. He let himself in to Alexis' house with his key, and things did not go well. I am still so sad that the writer's broke up one of the best couples on GH in decades. Nancy Lee Grahn will most definitely get an Emmy nod for her performances this year, and William Devry is no slouch either. Their great performances notwithstanding, I'm still sad that this couple was dismantled.
It's rare that soap viewers of a certain age (a.k.a. my age) get to see a mature love story unfold. "Julexis" struck a nerve with viewers because these two characters have made a lifetime of mistakes and still found love, second chances, and acceptance. Then the writers tore it apart, and I don't know how it can be fixed. Or, if it can be fixed, it needs to take time, and sadly, a lot of viewers aren't patient enough to wait for that reconciliation, and they will just switch the channel to another show.
Sometimes you have good writing and bad acting. Sometimes you have bad writing and good acting. But when you have good writing and good acting, it leaves an indelible mark on soap history. Think of some classic soap scenes:
•When Maxie got B.J.'s heart and Tony laid his head on Maxie's chest to hear his deceased daughter's heart beating.
Those are scenes we will never forget. But GH lately? I won't remember anything that happened in 2016, 10, 20, 30 years from now as I do with these scenes.
Readers, I am a multi soap viewer, GH is not my only vice. I also watch the Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful, and I was thinking this week about Justin Hartley. He played Adam on Y&R and was such a compelling performer. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. There were times when he exceeded the material he was given and made a storyline more compelling than it was written just on the basis of his mad acting skills. Then, the new show This Is Us scooped him up, and he is finally getting material worthy of his gifts -- and I am so happy for him.
I wish GH would go back to writing compelling stories that move people. Maybe it's network pressure that is telling them to get a buzz going whether it's good or bad. Maybe they are purposely trying to get us all to stop watching so they can put another crappy talk show on the air. Maybe they thought Paul being the serial killer to avenge his daughter by killing her social worker was a good story. Maybe I am just old and cranky. Who knows? But I don't believe this September sweeps plot will ever make it onto anyone's "Top 10 Soap Moments" countdown.
If you disagree with me, and you have been riveted by this storyline, by all means, tell me. I never mind people who disagree with my opinion as long as they are kind. People's comments have gotten meaner over the years I have been writing this column. In fact, I think America has gotten meaner over the years, I think it has to do with anonymity. When people had to say their names, they weren't so bold about being cruel. But if they can post under "Soapzilla2000" (I just made that handle up), then they feel free to say horrible things to people. Disagree, but be kind. I'm a nice old lady with nine grandchildren. Cut me some slack.
Liz was willing to cut Hayden some slack and try to be her sister. Hayden was having none of it and delivered an invoice to Liz to pay her costs for a lawyer and to pay her back for donating the blood that saved Liz's life. I hope Jeff Weber is coming back to help stop his two girls from squabbling.
Franco's devotion to Liz is sweet, and I like his softer side, but I still miss Nina and Franco together. If Liz is going to be Franco's boo, we need a new love interest for Nina. Julian? Curtis? Dr. Finn? I dunno, but someone. I think Dr. Finn and Nina would be dynamite together. Maybe she can fund his research, and he can give her a baby. Fair trade.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Nelle set up another scrapbooking party for her and Michael? Will the bank of Heather open up and fund Franco's charitable efforts to provide Liz in-home care? Will Alexis buy a guard dog and a home security system, change the locks on her door, and have Sonny send goons to guard her door before the next time Julian comes, or will she just have BevMo deliver another case of wine? Will the next month of storylines light me up inside or bore me to tears? Will Morgan's professor kick him out of school for plagiarizing his term paper? Will Sonny discover Ava switched his pills and send the unnamed goon to off her, too? Will we ever see Spencer or Nikolas again? Will Liz and Hayden be besties having pillow fights by this time next year?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.