Whackers and party crashers

For the Week of July 3, 2017
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GH Two Scoops: Whackers and party crashers
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While Julian is slowly on the road to redemption, little Spencer is on the highway to hell with plans to have Valentin whacked. And while Finn and Hayden celebrate taking down Obrecht, Josslyn's boozy house party was brought to an abrupt halt. Take a joyride through Port Charles in the latest Two Scoops commentary.

Spencer Cassadine came to town with revenge on his mind. He started out going the honorable route and planned on taking legal action against his Uncle Valentin. However when it became clear that wouldn't accomplish his goals, he turned to Uncle Sonny and asked him to "whack" Valentin. When Sonny looked perplexed, Spencer clarified and asked Uncle Sonny to "ice" him, to eliminate him, and a variety of other mob words.

Sonny gracefully declined, but Spencer is pretty tenacious, so I doubt that roadblock will stop him from seeking revenge.

My husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, had an interesting theory. When I told him the news that Steve Burton was coming back, first he said, "Who?" and I had to say, "Old Jason." But after he knew whom I meant, he said, "What if he is coming back as Nikolas Cassadine instead of as Jason!" Very keen insight for a guy who pretends he's not a fan.

I really do want Nikolas back, if only to clear Valentin's name because I so adore Valentin. I love him with Nina. I love him with Charlotte. I love him with Anna. I even love him when he's tormenting Lulu. I also love his portrayer, James Patrick Stuart, who has become one of my favorite people to follow on Twitter. When Nina got that collect call on Friday's episode, I swooned a little just thinking it might be Valentin at the other end.

But redemption for Valentin aside, can I see Steve Burton as Nikolas? Not so much. I prefer the idea of having this be a copycat Todd Manning story from OLTL, where they had two Todds for a while, and no one knew which one was the real Todd.

Imagine if Steve comes back as real Jason, and we discover that Billy Miller's Jason was a Helena plant the whole time! That would throw Port Charles into chaos! Imagine Sam torn between old Jason and new Jason. Imagine Elizabeth dumping Franco in a heartbeat if she could have Jason #2 back. Imagine Nina hooking up with Jason #2. (Or ex-Billy and Phyllis if you used to watch them on The Young and the Restless.) So many juicy possibilities. Since Steve is wearing his Jason black tee in the teaser ad, people assume he will be Jason, but you just never know!

I just hope we get to keep them both. I don't want to lose Billy Miller. Of course if he went back to being Billy on Y&R and we could get Patrick Drake back at GH, that wouldn't suck either...

But I digress. Spencer feels that everything he cared about has been taken away from him, and he wants it back. I absolutely adore Nicholas J. Bechtel. I love him so much that I watch the Stuck in the Middle show on Disney just to get glimpses of him. But Disney doesn't know what to do with him. GH does. The kid can act. He's exceptionally bright, he can emote, and he can pull off complex adult dialogue without a single hiccup. I feel like he could carry a movie. While I am happy he got the part with Disney, I think he has a full, rich career ahead of him, and I'll pay to go see any movie he is in.

Although Spencer is not very fond of Charlotte, I certainly am. She's adorable. I enjoy that she is bonding with Lulu and Dante and now Nonna Olivia, but ultimately, I want her to get her Daddy and Nina back. It's okay for a kid to love two sets of parents. Many kids do it every day. I hope that eventually Lulu and Valentin are able to be civil to one another, although it might take awhile.

Another thing that is taking awhile is the redemption of Julian. It was a great step to have Julian warn Jason that Sonny's life was in danger. It should make a deposit in the "Good Guy" bank, don't you think? While Alexis is drawn to Julian, while there is clearly still passion between them, she is forcing herself to keep her distance. Can you blame her? He did try to kill her, whether it be at the bidding of a psychopath or not. But I am ready for GH to fully redeem him and reunite our beloved Julexis, even if that means making all of last season a booze-filled dream.

I am also hoping for miracles for Ava (played by the spectacular Maura West). How is it that Maura West can act so passionately with three-quarters of her face covered in bandages that she can make me cry? What sort of voodoo does she possess? Every person she interacts with is made aware that her recovery will be long and arduous. She will be in excruciating pain, she will require multiple surgeries, and she could be permanently disfigured. Or maybe Dr. O could come up with a miracle cure for her and be redeemed as well.

But, no, Liesl was in the process of being arrested the last time we saw her. Is this the end of Dr. Obrecht? Oh, I sure hope not.

I know she was naughty and tampered with Finn's blood tests, but she's the comic relief for us at a time in history when we desperately need comic relief. Please, please don't take our Sonnenschein away. She is wunderbar.

Since we now know that Hayden will be gone soon (as in Rebecca Budig is leaving the show), does that mean Michael Easton is leaving with her and they will ride off into the sunset with Roxie and their baby? Or will Obrecht have a trick up her sleeve, get out of trouble, and have them both banished from GH? I'm secretly hoping for the latter, just to keep Liesl around. There are rumors that Liesl may contribute to Hayden's demise, but that's all they are right now, rumors.

Amy and Nathan went to meet a publisher for the "Ask Man Landers" book, and she arrived with a surprise guest -- Nina! Amy's attempts to keep Nina out failed. (Obviously! No one can "handle" the fiery Nina -- or her portrayer Michelle Stafford! She's unstoppable!)

Once Nina got in and discovered that "Jay" was Ask Man Landers, Amy came clean about what she was doing, why she was doing it, and how Nathan agreed to help. Nina was moved and offered to write an exclusive in Crimson, which has the potential to affect real change for Amy's brother.

Will Amy come clean in Crimson and tell the world about her brother? I certainly hope so. I'd love to see GH weigh in and inform and enlighten people on PTSD. PTSD United website says that "an estimated 8% of Americans -- 24.4 million people -- have PTSD at any given time. That is equal to the total population of Texas."

In couple land, we have a new official couple, Nelle and Michael. Tell me you aren't dying to see Ned and Olivia's wedding even more now that you know both Carly and Nelle will be attending? Come on. Catfight in formal wear? Count me in!

One more word on that... Ned and Olivia better actually get married. If their wedding blows up at the last minute, I will be supremely peeved. Ned and Olivia have both had their fair share of heartache and bad luck in love, and I want this one to stick. Especially since Olivia got Tracy's blessing, which has never happened before in the history of ...ever.

Carly and Sonny are getting back together, much to the dismay of Josslyn. While Joss raises some fair points and while I was also hoping for a Jax and Carly reunion, let's face facts; Sonny and Carly can't stay away from one another. Have you ever had that sort of bond with another human being where you are magnetically drawn to them and can't bear living on earth if you can't be near them? Have you ever been involved with someone your family and friends didn't approve of, and you concluded that you'd rather lose every person you knew on earth than give up loving that person? That's Carly and Sonny.

Josslyn was acting out in her rage over her mother reuniting with Sonny and threw a party with boys and booze! It was epic. And then Grandma Bobbie showed up... Carly was furious, but truthfully, Joss was a reluctant participant in her BFF's shenanigans. My BFF is the one who always wants to go one step further than I'm confortable with, too, so I felt Josslyn's pain last week.

In response to the news that Sonny and Carly were reuniting, Josslyn said she wanted to go to Australia with her dad. Hey, Joss, I want to live in Australia with Jax, too. Can I be your nanny?

Carly was hurt by Josslyn's announcement but said she would talk to Jax and see how he felt about that idea. My hope here is that Jax will say, "No, get Sonny to undo what he did. I'm moving back to Port Charles to win your mom back." But I know that's a pipe dream. I mean, under the new travel ban, Jax can come into the U.S. because he has a "bona fide" relationship with his daughter... For the sake of peace in Soapland, I'll just leave that right there...

Of course if Josslyn moves to Australia, her budding teenage romance with Oscar won't get very far. It is summer, and soaps always highlight teen romances in the summer to try to hook a new generation of viewers. It totally works; I got hooked back when Laura was dating Scotty when I was in high school. Don't do the math; suffice it to say I have an AARP card.

Sam has not been drinking, and yet she is having crazy visions and sleeping with a knife under her pillow. People keep telling her it's just because she's tired from having a baby. Now, I have never had a baby, so I don't know, but do all women who have babies have psychotic episodes and hallucinations and arm themselves in bed? Enquiring minds want to know.

Sam's set her sights on Sonny, and I hope she isn't invited to Olivia and Ned's wedding because bloody tuxes aren't as much fun as catfights in ball gowns.

Laura and Kevin have moved in together, but I feel like we have gotten cheated out of seeing them together because they have become Spencer's guardians more than lovers. I'd really enjoy seeing a mature love story play out between two people that have had great love stories in the past but are getting a second chance at love now in midlife.

Readers, did you ever see a little film called Desperately Seeking Susan? I want to make a new film called Anxiously Awaiting Maxie. I keep hearing that Kirsten Storms is coming back, but every day I turn on my TV, ready to see her, and she's not there. Nathan, whatever you do, don't kiss Amy. I know for a fact that if you do, that's the exact second Maxie will walk in the door. Just keep your lips away from her!

Another scene I enjoyed this week was the next generation of Quartermaine men toasting to Ned's impending nuptials. With Tracy, Alan, Edward, and Lila gone, I was worried about the mansion and the family legacy. I'm happy a new generation is picking up the torch. Monica is still around, but I have to wonder how much longer Leslie Charleson will want to work. I am always disappointed when my favorite beloved soap stars retire, and yet, if I were their age, had worked as long as they had, and had plenty of money, you can bet your booty I would be retiring.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Spencer succeed in getting back his birthright, or will he be shipped off to boarding school? (I already know the answer to this, as he finished shooting his summer scenes this week. Boo.) Will Dr. Obrecht end up in jail with Valentin? Will Faison spring them both for a newly formed Legion of Doom? Will Anna and Andre make a sequel to Stayin' Alive where Tony Manera (John Travolta) fights Andre to be Anna's dance partner? ("Everybody uses everybody.") Will Nina loan Nelle a Crimson gown so she can be Michael's wedding date in style? Will Josslyn find out what judge-y Grandma Bobbie did when she was a teenager? Will Dante catch a glimpse of his handsome self in a hospital gown, change careers, and go to med school? Will all of Port Charles be forced to eat at Kelly's after Sonny sells Mob Pasta?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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