That's what you get for gloating (Mary Pat)

For the Week of July 16, 2018
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Carly stops Michael and Nelle's wedding while Mary Pat is dazed in Carly's bed
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Mary Pat made the mistake of underestimating Carly, Liesl tells Peter her story, Maxie brings baby James home and gets in a pool noodle battle with her BFF, and an underperforming Boy Scout may have saved the day. A weird but compelling week in Port Charles that we unravel in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, I have yet to determine why Mary Pat takes such delight in tormenting Carly, but I predict it will be much, much worse when Carly is sent back to Ferncliff.

As soon as she turned her back on Carly and started gloating about Carly getting an injection, I paused the TV and said to my husband "Carly is going to leap up and inject Mary Pat with that needle and bust up Michael's wedding." I hit play, and of course, I was right, being the 40-year Soap Diva that I am! But seriously, if you didn't see that coming, you haven't watched GH long enough.

I suspect that Mary Pat is somehow connected to Nelle or possibly someone else that Carly has wronged in the past. After all these weeks of Mary Pat having the upper hand, "Caroline" finally got the drop on her and escaped Ferncliff. I can't say I'm too broken up over her situation. When I saw Mary Pat's eyes roll back in her head and her tongue fall out like a thirsty cocker spaniel, I cracked up -- Patricia Bethune is a hoot in this role, and I am sure she is having the time of her life.

One side note: the cell phone battery Carly has been using for two weeks with no charger is way better than my iPhone battery that is fully charged at breakfast and mostly dead by lunch. I must find out where Jason shops for burner phones.

But I digress... Carly was unable to persuade Michael to stop his wedding to Nelle with a phone call, so instead, she escaped the psychiatric hospital, which is apparently greatly lacking in security. Having just visited a loved one in a psychiatric hospital this week, I can tell you it's way more secure than Ferncliff. They took my purse, my keys, and my phone, and doors were locked in front of and behind me in each hallway I went through. Even after Carly got out of her room, how on earth did she get out of the building? We will never know, but Heather has been skillfully doing it for 30 years, so clearly it can be done.

But what's Carly's plan? She doesn't have one; she was all impulse and adrenaline, unwilling to let another son die. She showed up at the ceremony and interrupted the wedding, but a paddy wagon will be on its way to take her back to Ferncliff, probably extending her stay, and what will she have accomplished?

Once Carly is taken back to the hospital, can you imagine what Mary Pat will do to her? Egads! Sonny will have to double up his payment to the beefy orderly. Carly had better learn Morse Code fast, as she will be the one sending the urgent SOS messages.

Just who is in that room next door? The popular theories are A) it's Kevin, and his evil twin, Ryan, is really the doctor treating Carly, or B) it's Morgan, who is still alive somehow. What's your vote?

I'm anxious for Monday to see if Carly will accomplish her mission and stop the wedding, or if her great escape was all in vain. Will the wedding actually happen, or will Nelle do the runaway bride like Alexis did and flee out the back door? I mean, it's Friday the 13th, and it's a GH wedding. You didn't really think this wedding would go off without a hitch, did you?

My husband (who insists he doesn't watch GH) has a theory that Chase is merely pretending to be on Michael's side, but is, in fact, still in love with Nelle and legitimately wants to run off with her.

Sadly, Chloe Lanier is leaving GH, so we may never have a satisfying conclusion to this storyline. Are they going to kill her off? Will it be a murder mystery? If so, Carly will be suspect number one, for sure. But lots of people in town hate Nelle, so a murder mystery might be a good way to send Nelle off. Ava, Michael, Josslyn, Sonny, Chase, Grandma Bobbie, Mike, Carly, and the family of the fiancÚ she killed could all have a reason to get rid of her.

Chloe's a great actor, and I know she has a bright future ahead of her. For those of you who don't do social media, one of the happiest photos I saw all week was Laura Wright and Chloe Lanier vacationing together, splashing around in their hotel pool. Can you ever imagine Carly and Nelle vacationing together? It made me happy to know that in real life, they are pals.

Back to our story...I hope they don't kill off Nelle, because killing her off means she can't come back, and I like when top-notch villains stop by Port Charles every now and then to stir things up. I honestly can't believe Carly hasn't run into Heather at Ferncliff. Or is Heather at Miscavige? I can't recall.

The next two people who will probably end up in Ferncliff are Liesl Obrecht and Nina Reeves-Cassadine. Peter is still a captive, although I thought Nina was going to let him go when he told her about Boy Scout Wyatt.

Let's park here for a minute. Wyatt is potentially the worst Boy Scout ever -- he can't untie knots, he loses his bugle for days, he doesn't know how to run and get help from a grownup or call 9-1-1, and he seemingly can't recognize a man's face without facial hair. The kid playing him is totally adorable, but dang, no merit badges for Wyatt. He did manage to get Franco and Finn's attention, though, so perhaps his bungling boy-scoutiness will save the day, after all.

In other absurdities, are we to believe that Nina moved the dead weight of Peter August alone in stilettos? Please. I honestly don't understand why Nina is going along with her crazy aunt. She has seen evidence that Liesl isn't above hurting, starving, tormenting, and withholding medication from Peter. Is she so na´ve as to believe Liesl is really going to let him go at the end of the forced confession?

Maybe Nina knows Liesl better than I do. At the end of the week, it appeared that Liesl was going to tell Peter her story. She softened and warmed up to tell him the story of a sad and misunderstood little girl. Maybe being James's grandmother will mean more to her than her revenge on Peter in the end. But I doubt it. Kathleen Gati is such a great performer that she has the power to make me love and hate Obrecht on the same episode. Dr. O is easily the funniest role on GH -- I have no idea how she says her lines with a straight face.

I am weary of Peter being chained up. I don't care if he is chained up on a bed in a cabin in the woods or in the horse stables at Wyndemere. I don't believe Valentin will stay away from his house forever. He randomly gave the stable hands the night off on the exact night Liesl chose to use the stable to hide Peter. What are the odds? Nina hired an actor to say the island was quarantined, and I have to ask just how easy is it to hire a random actor in Port Charles, NY, to impersonate a city official, anyway?

But that sign won't keep Valentin away forever -- someone has to tend to Lumiere and the other horses. I suspect Valentin will go home and discover Nina, Liesl, and Peter in his stables. Valentin has been begging Nina to tell him what she is hiding, and he will have to be the one to save Nina from going to jail. It will be harder for her to hold his illegal dealings against him when she now has kidnapping on her own conscience. I am ready for the two of them to reunite and to bring Charlotte home. I want to hear them speak French. It makes me happy. Je parle Franšais en peu, so I like to see if I can translate!

Then again, I'd hate to take Charlotte away from Lulu, since Dante is gone -- having her two kids home is probably making his absence bearable. Since we never see Rocco anymore, I don't know if he's still a toddler or if he's 15 now. On soaps, you just never know.

Will Dante be recast? I keep trying to think of whom they could get to replace him, and I can't think of anyone I like as much as I liked Dom Zaprogna. There are a lot of unemployed soap actors, but few with his range. What do you think? If he is going to be recast, who should take the role?

I'm still longing for Tyler Christopher and Jonathan Jackson to come back as Lulu's brothers and fill up the Spencer family again. And if Laura went to be with Spencer while he recuperated and his broken legs aren't healed by now, she needs to bring him back to Port Charles in casts and let a real doctor treat him. Genie Francis should rightfully be the heart and moral center of the show -- we lost Lila, Tracy never was the moral center of anything, Liz is too young to be the matriarch, and we need Laura. Please, ABC, bring Mama Laura home.

In the meantime, Lulu went to see Maxie, and the two of them bickered and got into a pool noodle fight, which cracked me up. My BFF and I have also gotten into some stupid fights over the years -- but never with pool noodles. I made a mental note to have one handy the next time I am mad at her.

I am still rooting for Maxie to eventually forgive Peter. She is softening to the idea, and if nothing else, I want her to give him the chance to explain himself to her. Kirsten Storms and Wes Ramsey have great on-screen chemistry, and as sad as I am that Ryan Paevey left, that's our reality. I would not hate Maxie and Peter slowly rebuilding their trust and eventually falling in love, because I am in incurable romantic, and I love redemption stories.

I also, as it turns out, like downfall stories. Seeing our formerly practically perfect priest Griffin fall into bed with Kiki and torment himself over it has been compelling to watch, too. As a person who works in a church by day, I understand that people who work in churches are just as messed up as people who work anywhere else, wrestle with the same issues, and often fall short of their expectations of themselves. There is an old song I love -- it's about a guy with a hard life that walks by a church every day and imagines how life must be inside -- he sees the priest outside one day, and the song says...

"So when he saw a priest who walked, for once, beyond the iron gate
He said, "tell me of your life inside the place"
And the priest replied:
We fall down, we get up
We fall down, we get up
We fall down, we get up
And the saints are just the sinners
Who fall down and get up"

That's it. Griffin has fallen down and gotten up a few times, and now he is urging Kiki to come clean about their one-night indiscretion so it doesn't blow up on her in court, but she is stubbornly refusing -- which means that 100% it will come out in court and blow up in her face. We know that Dr. Bensch has indeed been sexually harassing her. But if this comes out in court, it will be painted as if she's just a girl sleeping her way around the hospital. I want Bensch to pay so badly. Not just for the GH storyline, but for every woman at any job in the world who has ever experienced that sort of treatment.

I don't think Ava is going to take it well when she finds out, and when she discovers that Scotty knew and didn't tell her; he will be on her blacklist, too. It's going to get ugly, dear readers. But right now, Ava is busy subtly blackmailing Nelle by reminding her that she has the baby blanket that supposedly doesn't exist.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Aunt Stella's second voicemail to Chandra stop her from showing up and ruining Curtis and Jordan's wedding? Will ABC's showing of 15 years of Sam and Jason clips be the gateway to them reuniting now that her divorce from Drew is final? Will Drew break up Kim and Charlie, or Liz and Franco? (Because, let's face it, he could totally break up either one.) Will Julian find an incriminating photo of Mike and get out from under Sonny's protection payments? Will the Quartermaine men ever come up with a livelier bachelor party than sipping scotch in their formal sitting room?

Will Valentin's full-page ad in Nina's magazine save the day, or will she let her magazine tank to spite him? Will other moms in the U.S. who don't approve of their family members' choice of spouse follow Bobbie's lead and dress in funeral attire? (Jackie Zeman was awesome on Friday.) Will Oscar think it's super creepy when he discovers he is wearing Josslyn's dead brother's cologne? Will Joss tell someone that Nelle was making out with Chase for a really, really long time before Nelle slapped him?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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