Dawn of Dud

For the Week of May 13, 2019
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Has the air been let out of the Dawn of Day balloon?
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Kristina is home, but new ladies keep willfully walking into DOD. Apparently, there is a huge hotel rush in Toronto on a random Friday night. Shiloh has a lump on his head, and Sam may or may not have half of a tattoo. It's a madhouse in Port Charles. Let's discuss it all in this week's Two Scoops.

Readers, I have been watching GH for round about 40 years, and I still love it. (Mostly) I love to watch it, to write about it, to talk about it, and to catch up my friends when they fall behind on storyline, and I especially like tweeting about it and reading your tweets, too.

This past week, the tweets have proven one thing -- we are all over Dawn of Day. Some of you think Shiloh is sexy. Some of you think Shiloh is creepy. Some of you think Shiloh will die. Some of you think Shiloh can be redeemed. But 99% of you think it's time for this crazy cult story to end. Coby Ryan McLaughlin is doing a great job playing Shiloh. I hate to lose him, but I don't know how else to make this storyline end. He's so charismatic, you can see how a young, vulnerable lady would get sucked in by him, but so creepy that you despise him in equal measure.

That's what a good villain does. The part of the story I still want to know is what does Drew know about his past that he can't remember? Why was Shiloh so worried when he came to town about Drew getting his memory back? That part of the story still intrigues me. But the drugging young ladies, branding and bedding them in what Kristina called "the sister wife gown" is just too gross to keep watching.

I have loved Lexi Ainsworth since her first stint on GH, and when she was let go, I was on the bandwagon, calling for her return. She's an incredible actor, and when they give her the material, she can knock it out of the ballpark. I loved her confrontation scene with Shiloh on Friday, I thought "Aha, Kristina is finally back." That raw, emotional, feisty young lady that we have come to know and love is recognizable again. Just like Sonny and Alexis, I am happy to see the real Kristina again.

I was so hopeful when Kristina opted to go home to her family instead of heading back to Dawn of Day. I thought, Huzzah! It's over! But no, it's still going, and it's getting bigger. Now I have to worry about poor grieving mom Kim getting sucked into Shiloh's vortex and whether or not Sam has to go through the rest of her life with half of a tattoo, if Milo will become mesmerized by DOD and give up the thug life, if Willow will forgive her mom for pimping her out to a cult leader, and if Brad will finally have to confess that Wiley isn't Willow's baby but Michael's to keep the baby from having to grow up in a cult.

Please, make it stop. Do I want Wiley's paternity to come out? Yes, I do. Do I want to watch Jason slam sexual predator Shiloh into a wall? You betcha. But I want it to happen immediately, not a month from now. I want the DOD house to burn up in flames so I never have to see it again.

On the flip side, I can watch Jax all day long. What a happy day when Ingo Rademacher returned to the canvas. Hearing that he is going to buy a house in Port Charles and stay awhile instead of this just being a drive-by made me downright giddy.

Josslyn definitely needs her Daddy now more than ever. Losing Oscar broke her heart, and having a sane parent like Jax around to help her maneuver through grief will help. But also, I always loved Jax and Carly, and if Jax moves next door to Sonny's place, they will see each other a lot. I know Carly will never leave Sonny, especially while she is carrying his child, but at least Jax and Carly will be in scenes together, and they have great chemistry.

I think Anna and Finn have a little chemistry, but not as much as Finn and Hayden did -- and she's on her way back. Presumably with Finn's kid! Finn wants to propose to Anna, but poor absentminded Mike picked up the ring that Robert inexplicably left lying around on the counter at Kelly's, so Finn better have had insurance on that ring because I doubt he'll see it again.

What's the deal with Robert, anyhow? Is he upset that Anna is with someone else? Is he jealous of Finn? Does he have regrets? What's up with him and Holly? So many unanswered questions. Robert asked Laura to be his date to the Nurses Ball, and I kind of like that idea. They have a lot of history. Luke and Robert had a lot of great adventures over the years, and seeing Laura and Robert together gave me flashbacks of GH past. You know, back before Dawn of Day existed.

Ava and Kevin are pretending to be a couple, but the lines got blurred for Ava when she kissed Kevin for a selfie. Has anyone dated twins before? I mean, do twins kiss alike? The look on Ava's face after she kissed Kevin made it seem like it was familiar, like he had the same kiss as Ryan. Is that a thing? What say you, dear readers? I'm hoping that it's not just their kisses that are the same, but their kidneys, too. Since Kevin is prediabetic from stress and can't donate his tainted organ to Jordan, I'm hoping Ryan has the same DNA and probably isn't stressed out at all and has no prediabetes, so he can do one good deed in his miserable life and save Jordan.

But will it be in death or alive? Will Ryan die and his kidney ends up in Jordan's body, or will he do it willingly to atone for his sins? I know I have said this before, but I'm saying it again, I'm not in love with most of the recent recasts. Neither Nu-T.J. nor Nu-Jordan has the fire of their previous counterpart; they are both a little snooze-worthy to me. I care about the characters, in general, but not as much as I would care if it was still Vinessa Antoine and Tequan Richmond playing the roles. Maybe it was just too disconcerting to have them both recast at the same time. I don't know. I'm just not connecting to them. Is it just me?

Nu-Valerie I like in the cop portions of her role. When she's on a case with Chase, I believe her as a detective. But when she was finally in scenes with Kristina, I didn't feel the same sweet chemistry that she had with Brytni Sarpi's Valerie. I guess I never believed Valerie as a cop before...now I believe her as a cop, but the tenderness is missing when Valerie is in scenes with Kristina. What's the fix?

Meanwhile, in Toronto, we have found that Curtis and Laura are not the best spies. Apparently, they didn't notice the shadowy figure in the one place where we are all sure Ryan is hiding. They decided not to check it out just as the sideways wonky camera angles proved conclusively that Ryan is hiding in there behind the full mailbox and peeking out the window at them.

The long-awaited first date came for Peter and Maxie in the form of taking a trip together, but instead of ending up in Paris, they landed in Toronto, too. Um, okay, sure.

I get that they are stretching out the "will they or won't they" for the maximum ratings, but leaving to go lingerie shopping in the middle of making out with the guy she has wanted for months did not ring true. Girl, he doesn't care what pajamas you packed. Then inviting Laura and Curtis to their room in the midst of a romantic moment made me want to throw things at my TV.

Toronto is a big city. Are there really no hotels or Airbnbs available that Laura and Curtis had to shack up with Maxie and Peter? Just for fun, I Googled it, and tonight -- on no notice -- there are over 300 open Airbnb rooms available, starting at under $100 per night.

But it's all just stall tactics, and I'm bored with it. I know this is Maxie's first love since Nathan died. I know it's Peter's first love ever. But let's get moving, anyway. Curtis and Laura, go find your own room. Maxie, slip on your new lingerie, and let's hit it. Peter, no more second-guessing every move. As Marvin Gaye said, "Let's get it on."

Side note, if you don't follow Laura Wright or Wes Ramsey on Instagram, you really should. Their real-life romance and photos of their adventures bring joy to my heart daily.

But back to GH. Readers, does it bother any of you as much as it does me that the writers have turned Brad Cooper into a moron? Brad, the conniving schemer. Brad, whose favorite times were mocking the citizens of Port Charles with his snarky friend Britt. This guy was always the schemer, not the victim of the scheme. The old Brad was far too savvy to have been lured into a cult. I want Britt to come to town for the Nurses Ball to do a duet with Dr. O and slap some sense into Brad while she's in town.

When it all comes out that Wiley is not Willow and Shiloh's kid but, in fact, Michael and Nelle's son, do you think Willow will ditch Chase to move in on Michael and be that baby's mom, anyway? She seems pretty smitten with him. Or maybe she will just go back to being a teacher who can't control her unruly students.

Congratulations to all our Daytime Emmy winners from GH -- especially Max Gail and Maurice Benard! They are both killing this Alzheimer's storyline. The scene this week when Mike tells Sonny to remember Courtney for him when he can't remember her anymore made me tear up.

Sonny hit up Robert to try to speed up Dante's deprogramming, and Robert assured him that taking Dante out early would be disastrous. Is he ever coming back? If not, what should happen next with Lulu? For a while, I thought the writers were gearing up for a Lulu and Chase pairing until Willow showed up. Maybe if Willow latches onto Michael to be with Wiley/Noah, Lulu can bond with Chase. I don't know, any opinions are welcome. Or maybe Spinelli can ditch Ellie and move back to Port Charles. He had a crush on Lulu before Maxie, and it would be funny if Lulu ended up being Georgie's stepmom, right?

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Shiloh use Kristina's pledge to lure her back to DOD? Will Jason find another way to clunk Shiloh on the head and put him in the Pine Barrens? Will Kim and Drew bond over their loss and rekindle the old romance Drew doesn't remember? Will Lucy lose all her clothes at this year's Nurses Ball? Will Cameron enjoy picking up trash in community service and decide to pursue a career in waste management?

Will Jax fly Josslyn to New Orleans for breakfast and run into Brenda? Will Jax buy Kate's house and put in a moat between him and Sonny? Will Richard Simmons come to town for the ball in his short shorts? Will Neil break protocol and kiss his patient Alexis? Will Peter find out Anna isn't really his mom and go on the hunt for Alex? Will Ava forget Kevin is real Kevin and not fake Kevin and put the moves on him?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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