Lies and the lying liars who tell them

For the Week of September 2, 2019
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There are so many swirling stories in Port Charles. Who can keep track of what is real and what is total fabrication? Let's unravel the web in this week's GH TwoScoops

Dear readers, are there any honest people left in Port Charles? I can't keep track of all the lies and secrets swirling about. Sasha is lying about who she is. Peter is lying about his role in Drew and Jason's brain swap and kidnapping. Dev, Sonny, and Jason are lying to the cops about Barry. (Three words: "I Don't Know.") Valentin and Nina are keeping their past with Cassandra Pierce hidden. No way that Kendra chick is a rando fitness instructor; she's definitely hardcore DOD that Shiloh sicced on Alexis to dig up dirt on Keifer's hit-and-run.

Elizabeth and Scotty are plotting to have Dranco committed. Hayden is lying to Molly about wanting to be interviewed for her Cassadine article in order to get details on the elusive Trophy Room inside of Wyndemere. Curtis was lying about his true intent, working for Jax, and got fired. I'm sure there are more lies I'm forgetting, but we must march forward.

I'm not a fan of revisionist history on soaps. First, Peter was painted as merely a pawn in Faison's evildoing, a good guy raised by a maniac and unwillingly caught up in his crimes. Now, suddenly, the canvas has changed, and Peter is a willing evildoer who kept Jason prisoner for years, biding his time to use him to kill Faison. I'm unhappy with this trajectory. If you want to revise history, let's make it fun-- bring Helena and Faison back from the dead and give the townspeople another creepy masquerade ball. I'm sad to know Maxie's heart is going to be broken again. She and Michael should get together; they have both had a really lousy track record in the love arena. Levi and Nelle, anyone?

While I'm on the topic of revising history, I am also unhappy with strong, steady Dante losing his mind while undercover. I mean, he came to Port Charles undercover as Dominic and was shot by his own father, and that didn't break him, so it's hard to imagine what he experienced out there that was worse than being shot point-blank by his dad. While I like the new guy Dustin they have brought in for Lulu to flirt with, he's not Dante.

Let's move on to our new mystery lady Kendra, who is suddenly very interested in Alexis' health. She's Shiloh's puppet. I know it. You know it. But unless GH is about to revise history again, there is nothing for her to find. Kiefer's death was an accident. There were no dash cams at the time, there were no witnesses other than the ones we have already heard from. Unless they manufacture evidence, where is this headed? And why, out of all the people who did Shiloh wrong, would he set his sights on Alexis? Just to hurt Sam and Kristina? I mean, Harmony did more harm to him than either of those two. Side note, where is Daisy now? Does Neil have her holed up in a cabin someplace, trying to deprogram her?

Kristina is gearing up to testify against Shiloh, and I, for one, am greatly anticipating those courthouse scenes with Lexi Ainsworth. Assuming Shiloh actually goes to trial. I wish Peter would prove his new character and say to Shiloh, "Go ahead and tell everyone my secrets. You're going to jail." Because, seriously, who would believe Shiloh's word against Peter's word, anyway? Oh Shiloh has Dranco's memories to back him up.

So, Hayden definitely has a child hidden somewhere. A child who is sending her pictures and that she is in touch with. I think I heard "she," so I assume Finn and Hayden have a daughter. They are back in touch, and they are on speaking terms -- why would she not tell him at this point? What is she waiting for? I wish this was one of those storylines where we knew the endgame, but I think it's because Nikolas is coming back, and I am willing to wait for the big reveal if I get the payoff I am imagining.

Okay, readers, let's talk about this... A serial killer kills your daughter. Said serial killer writes you a love letter from prison. Do you open it? Do you read it? Do you keep it? I know GH has a strong history of women falling for people who have committed crimes against them. Heck, I have even gone along for the ride. Luke raped Laura, and when they got together, I loved them. But in my defense, I was a moron teenager. Now, older and wiser, I can't fathom Ava falling for Ryan. Sure, Maura West and Jon Lindstrom were dynamite together. But I'd rather see Ava with the real Kevin than to fall for the man who brutally murdered her daughter.

I'm also a little torn right now on other couplings. Remember, this is an opinion column. These are just my opinions, and if yours are wildly different, that's okay. I like Dr. Byrne, but he and Alexis are just okay. I like Kim, but Kim and "Charlie" are just okay. I want Julexis back; they were more compelling to me than either of these other two couples.

In like manner, I love Franco and Liz, and I am rooting for them -- but I kind of have a little tingle for Kim and Dranco, too. With Drew's memories, we finally see what Kim was fighting for with Drew, and it's great to hear the other side of their love story. Before Franco woke up as Drew, for all we knew, Kim was in love with Drew, and Drew was just a Navy boy with a girl in every port. Now, we know that's not the case. Drew loved Kim as much as Kim loved Drew. That matters to me and brings depth to Oscar's storyline, too. Who do I root for here? Can it be both? Can I wish for a little Kim/Dranco fling but then eventually he regains his memories and goes home? Can I wish for Kim to get pregnant?

I already miss Billy Miller, and I wonder where he is going to land. Is he going back to The Young and the Restless, is he taking a sabbatical, or is he auditioning for some more primetime gigs? Wherever he ends up, I will watch.

Molly's article about the Cassadine family should be magnificent. Let's not forget, she wrote a book when she was like twelve. She can interview Valentin, Spencer, Laura, Alexis, and maybe go down into the bowels of GH and defrost Stavros again out of Helena's underground lab. I mean, no way he is actually dead. We just think he died, but he's already come back to life four previous times. He's like Cassadine Cat. He's got five more lives to go.

Back to the revisionist history -- there was a rumor floating around this week after some scenes between Jason and Cameron Webber that perhaps they were going to make Jason be Cam's "real father." That would be quite the twist because Liz was married to Ric Lansing at the time, so that would mean she was sleeping with Ric, Zander, and Jason all at the same time. Although the similar looks between Steve Burton and William Lipton might be tempting the writers to go that way, there would be a lot of back-pedaling of the romantic history of Liz to get there. I hope it's just another dumb online rumor.

Well, readers, we finally know what disease Sasha has and where she got it: the poisoned grapefruit from "Sandy Lance," a.k.a. Cassandra Pierce. On this issue, Valentin and Sonny are on the same page, both of them looking into finding Cassandra and making her vanish like Warehouse Barry. Nina should just go ahead and tell Sonny what she did, because he will find out, anyway, and he doesn't mind criminals. Side note: Michael is very observant, seeing a prescription called Betaferremax in Cassandra's purse and remembering it. I thought Ned was the pharmaceutical guru at ELQ. Apparently, Michael pays attention at work those two times a month that he's in the office.

Sasha has told Michael that she will confess her sins to him after she gets better. First off, do you think she will get better, and second, if she does, do you think she will really come clean? I mean, if I were her, I would. If pretending to being Nina's kid almost got her killed, I would take out a full-page ad in the New York Times, proclaiming I was, in fact, a fraud, not Nina's daughter, and should not be a target for Nina's enemies. If Sasha follows through and comes clean, where will that leave her with both Michael and Nina? She and Nina have bonded so much, I feel like they could still salvage a relationship down the road. Of course, it would totally blow up Valentin's life, but he knew that was a possibility when he started the lie.

If we are right and Nikolas is about to return triumphant and reclaim the Cassadine fortune and Wyndemere, it would be a fun storyline to see Valentin totally humbled on every level and have to start over again. Who would help him? Perhaps his former crush Anna?

Where the heck is Anna, anyway? Was keeping her away a vehicle for Hayden and Finn to reconnect? Will she see the spark when she returns? I'm anxious to see how this plays out. Or, of course, it could be Alex who returns in Anna's place, seeing as how all the brain-swapped twins are still on the front burner.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Jordan find a job for Robert at the PCPD, too, so the Scorpio brothers can keep working together? Will Willow find a new job before school starts, or will she become a lady of leisure, lying around Chase's place, watching soaps? Will Bobbie's bouquet catch make her rethink Scotty's proposal, or will she throw more drinks in his face when he tries to involve her in his shenanigans? Will Liesl slap Dranco every day until he regains his memory? Will Dustin be there for Lulu until he's just there? Will Cameron ever get off of probation, or will he be picking up trash in the park until 2020?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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