Something wicked this way comes

For the Week of November 2, 2020
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Witches and candy and evil, oh my! It's a scary week in Port Charles, and the eerie goodness has only just begun. Let's dive into the darkness of this week's GH with a new Two Scoops!

Dear Readers, I don't know where to begin. There is a cyclone of overlapping events swirling in my brain. My computer has about 20 open windows -- I have election stats and voting info because I am volunteering to remind people to vote. I have Christmas music open and a Scrivener screen with a Christmas book I am writing. I have my résumé template up because, like many of you, I am currently unemployed. But let's put all of that on hold right now and focus on what really matters. Halloween and GH Sweeps are converging into a maelstrom of malevolent intents for the unsuspecting citizens of Port Charles!

A brief overview of the canvas... Franco has just discovered that the brain tumor that turned him into a serial killer is back! And it's enormous! And it's in the same place, so one will assume it's pressing on the same serial killer switch in his brain. I fear a string of CO77X's in our future. But this version of Franco, Roger Howarth, was never the serial killer. That was James Franco's version. I don't want them to sully Roger that way. If they plan to make Franco bad again, they should kill him off and let Roger come back as Todd Manning. Why not?

Next up, just like Samantha and Sabrina from Bewitched, the Devane sisters are in the same house with competing outfits. The good twin Anna dressed in glittery white, and her evil twin Alex is dressed in all midnight black. Anna lies helpless on the floor while Alex gives out what my husband, who pretends not to watch GH, called "waiting room lollipops." He was very indignant about Anna's choice of lousy candy for trick-or-treat. Meanwhile, at our house, we have the giant pillowcase-sized Costco bag of candy bars. It appears that there will be no trick-or-treating in my neighborhood, so I'll probably gain 30 pounds by Christmas.

We still aren't done with the Halloween madness! Ava tried to trick one-armed serial killer Ryan. He treated her to a full serial killer meltdown. He threatened to get revenge and said she was unfaithful, just like "her," who I can only assume meant the last object of his obsession, Felicia. Maybe we will get a sighting of her for Halloween. I only brought up Ryan's missing hand because when he dove at the glass separating him and Ava, the prison guard grabbed him... by the arm that isn't supposed to be there. It bugged me.

But wait! There's more! All the teens are at a Halloween party, and their unofficial bodyguard, the very undead Marcus Taggert, was keeping an eye out behind his Darth Vader mask. But then he had a scuffle with Julian that left him exposed. What's happening to the kids while Taggert and Sonny are bonding, and no one is watching them? Kidnapped? Slap fight? Drunk? Making out with each other? All I know is that there will be teen drama for Halloween. It's a given.

Hubby and I were reminiscing about GH Halloweens past -- like the Cassadine Wyndemere Masquerade ball of 2012 or the Black and White Ball in 2007 where we lost Emily. So many of the creepiest Halloween shows past have been set at Wyndemere. Still, this year with the social distancing regulations, no way could GH pull off a giant mysterious ball with everyone packed on Spoon Island. But I have total faith that they can be just as creepy, spread out across the town.

The local drug dealer/hospital CEO is apparently passing out baggies of cocaine for Halloween. At least, Sasha got one from some unknown delivery person. I can't quite decide what exactly Cyrus wants from Sasha. It's not as if she has any insider info on the Corinthos organization. Maybe he just wants another drug pusher to add to his stable. I'm over him.

I still haven't hit every exciting development this week! Nikolas and Ava had a passionate round of "Oops, I accidentally stabbed you" sex. Weird, but, okay, sure. Liz admitted she has become a blackmailer but didn't cash the check. Nuts! Carly hallucinated about Nelle's hand reaching up from the grave and made me doubt that Nelle is actually dead. Brooke Lynn's slit throat voice still isn't strong enough to sing. Man, I just love Briana Lane as BLQ. I hope when Amanda Setton's maternity leave is up, the powers that be can find a way to keep Briana.

Readers, I know you are right here with me... The instant I heard Helena's voice say the word "Hello!" a chill went down my spine. I screamed at the TV! HELENA! I got so excited to think she was still alive. Sadly, it was just the shenanigans and computer stylings of Damien Spinelli and his sidekick Sam. But, oh, what joy I would feel if Constance Towers made an appearance. I am glad she was still willing to play along with voiceovers. We don't even know what Liesl Obrecht is plotting for Peter on Halloween!

Each of these storylines is exciting on its own, but combined, it's going to be a helluva week in Port Charles for Halloween.

With that said, I have to admit I am worried. The rumors hit about Emme Rylan being fired from GH, and some reported that William DeVry had been let go, too. Even worse, rumors of deep cast cuts persist. I hope none of our exciting Halloween stories will end up with our favorite characters dead.

But we have to consider the possibility. Disney, ABC's parent company, has laid off 28,000 workers in a first layoff, and another 800 or so yesterday. With theme parks still closed and movie theaters closed across the country, it's undoubtedly a hard time to be in the tourism and entertainment business. I am thankful we have GH still on at all, considering the world's chaos right now. The episodes since the shutdown have all been very welcome gifts! But I can imagine there are conversations about how to trim and streamline everything from top to bottom.

In my humble opinion, you don't start trimming by axing your legacy family characters. You don't cut a Spencer...I will make some suggestions and want to say up-front: I do not hate any of these actors. In most cases, I really like their characters. But if ABC is set on trimming the cast and cutting characters, I have some suggestions of who to cut rather than core characters...

If you need to trim the budget, get rid of Cyrus. He's a drug dealer, and we all know that Sonny is going to end him. I would love to see that storyline play out, but if you're going bankrupt, wrap it up early and send him to the Pine Barrens. Next up: hot Dustin. Sorry, buddy. Mark Lawson is very handsome, and Dustin is a very upright guy and a genuinely likable character. But...Dante is home now, so -- buh-bye. Everyone knows it's supposed to be Dante and Lulu, so wrap up this fling and send Dustin on his way.

If it's true that Lulu is being written off just as Dante came back to town, one can only assume they will leave town together. This makes me doubly angsty because we just got Dante back, and I really like him. He was the PCPD's best cop in eons. Jordan needs all the help she can get, so having Dante back at the PCPD would be welcome. I'm going to be sad if they just brought him back to send him away again.

Another reasonable person to lose if you don't have the money to keep the whole cast is Sasha. While I love Sofia Mattson and enjoyed her storyline as Nina's fake daughter, that's long over. Sasha is not with Michael, she's strung out on drugs, she has no family in town and no real ties to the canvas. Judging from Lucy's face after the failed sales pitch, she's probably unemployed, too. Having her OD would make sense. Michael can find out about her good deeds after she passes and be mopey with regrets for months while Willow consoles him. Unless they need to cut more money, and then send Willow and her cult mom on their way, too. Let Michael be a single dad until GH can afford a new romance for him.

But I do not think that is the plan, since Willow has decided to change careers and be a nurse. I understand that because minimizing sets can cut costs, we won't need to have Willow's classroom set or Willow's hospital daycare set, etc. Besides, all the kids in Port Charles are missing, anyway. When is the last time you saw Danny, Scout, Charlotte, Aiden, Jake, Avery, or baby Donna? I think all the kids must still be out due to COVID restrictions. Frankly, if I had a kid right now, they would be rolled in bubble wrap every time they left the house. No way I would chance my kid catching COVID for a scene on a TV show.

Also, off the table for me is Julian Jerome. You do not cut a character like Julian! He's Ava's brother, Sam's dad, and Alexis' on-again, off-again love interest. I can't imagine why they would cut a beloved character who is so deeply entrenched in Port Charles. Also, he owns the bar where all of Port Charles hangs out, so what will you do? Close down Charlie's? Give it to Cyrus? No. Maybe Julian will have to let Nikolas hide him away for a while but bring him back when things pick up. Suppose GH actually does fire William DeVry against my strong objections. In that case, I think The Bold and the Beautiful should bring back Storm Logan and reveal that he bought an organ off the black market for Katie's heart and has been in hiding this whole time. It's a soap. I have faith that the B&B writers could write their way out of a suicide/heart transplant!

Nikolas is offering to help Julian, but Ava and Julian don't trust Nick yet. I fear that Ava's love for Nikolas may cost Ava her brother, and she can have one more thing to feel guilty about. If Ava can't stay away from Nikolas, and Ryan is hellbent on revenge, he will make Ava pay by taking someone she loves from her. I like Nikolas and Ava together, and I want them to get a season of Happily Ever After before they throw any further obstacles in their way.

Perhaps Nikolas should hide Aunt Alexis somewhere for a while, too. She needs a time out. Alexis is a mean drunk. The hateful things she said to Julian this week were so harsh. I wonder why Julian is still nice to her, despite the way she has treated him. Sure, he did a terrible thing to her under appalling circumstances, but since then, he has come to her rescue more than once and has earned at least a little good grace, hasn't he? I love Nancy Lee Grahn, and I am a big Alexis fan. But right now, they have backed her into a corner. She has no love interest, no career, and no close friends. She pushes away everyone who tries to help her. She slept with Ned. I thought perhaps the writers would try a Robert/Olivia pairing and a retro Eddie Maine and Alexis redux but decided against it. What will it take for Alexis to snap out of this, go back to A.A., and care about life again? What is rock bottom for her?

Now, let's talk about Finn. Is there any possibility at all that Finn is Chase's daddy and not his brother? It's highly possible. Michael Easton is 53, and Joss Swickard is 28, so with a 25-year age difference between them, the math certainly adds up. Can you imagine if Chase finds out his dad is his grandpa, and his brother is his dad? He will be hitting the coke with Sasha.

Finn's fiancée, Anna, is passed out on the floor while Alex has assumed her life. This can't be good. Will Alex brainwash Peter into dire deeds? Will she reveal that she's his mom, cast Anna as a liar, and lure him back to the dark side? Will Alex sleep with Finn just for kicks? And God only knows what Alex will do to torment poor Valentin. I am afraid to find out the answers to those dark questions.

But we will have to wait. Halloween on GH will be back on Tuesday. On Monday, GH will be airing a special episode on voting. I am very excited to see it. I can't think of a more important thing to do the day before the election than to remind people what it cost for women to even get the right to vote! Genius move, GH writers! Check out the preview below.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Spinelli make Fake-Helena threaten Maxie so Peter will dump her? Will Laura come back into town just in time to say goodbye to her daughter? Will Franco tell Elizabeth about his brain tumor, or will she find out when he draws a CO77X chalk outline of her on the kitchen floor? Will Ryan escape Pentonville and dig up Nelle's bones for a spooky haunting with his kindred spirit? Will Joss and Cameron talk at the Halloween party and realize Dev is short for "Devil"? Will Brooke Lynn's injured pipes heal in time to sing "The Monster Mash" at Halloween karaoke?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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