Wyndemere Schmindemere

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A party at Wyndemere can only mean one thing: chaos. Let's discuss GH parties and other soapy fun in this week's Two Scoops!

Dear readers, I know it might be tempting, but let Aunt Tamilu give you some sound advice. Never party at Wyndemere. The glorious Cassadine mansion, which can only be reached by boat, does not provide an easy escape when all hell breaks loose. And it always does. Consider Cassadine parties past. Can anyone say "Bacchanalia"? Or "Black and White Masquerade Ball"? These parties never, ever end well. Someone will fall or be pushed off the parapet. The electricity will probably go out. Someone who is not invited will almost certainly show up to wreak havoc.

Someone evil will sneak through the tunnels into the mansion. Maybe it will be Nikolas pretending to be Ryan Chamberlain to scare Spencer. But probably, knowing GH, Ryan and his one good killing hand probably broke out of the hospital, and Nik is tied up deep in the caves. Or maybe it's Joey Novak, who already threatened Joss and Cam, coming to make a move on the kids as a show of mob strength. Or maybe Peter has been hiding down there for a month since he thawed out after escaping from the sub-basement freezer in Helena Cassadine's evil lair.

Parties that are hosted on the eternally creepy Spoon Island are hard to escape. Even with two launches, there will not be enough boats to escape the mayhem. Of this, I am sure.

My husband, who pretends not to watch GH, was asking me all sorts of questions. He seems very curious for a non-viewer. He asked me how someone gets into the castle from the launch. "Is there a people mover? Do they have a yard with a brick path from the dock to the door? Is there some sort of elevator that takes them from the cliffs below up to the house, or do the partygoers have to climb six flights of stairs to get in?" Oddly, a man who does not watch this show and would deny watching this show to any of you has so many questions...

Do you know who I'd like to have answer these questions? Max from Twitter. If you don't know who Max is, follow @MaxUpdatesGH -- he's a six-year-old GH fan who does daily update videos on GH, which are supreme. He makes me laugh every single day. I think Soap Central needs to hire him as a special correspondent. He always has insights that would never cross my mind. Like at Wiley's birthday party, he noted that we never got to see Wiley open his gifts, and he really wanted to know what was in those packages! Watch him. You won't be sorry.

Back to the party. Spencer is throwing a party with a mix of townies, boarding school buddies, and a VIP list of four -- Joss, Cam, Trina, and the host himself. Every day, I like Spencer more and more. Nicholas Chavez is doing a stellar job. He's playing Spencer with both levity and depth. Spencer is still the cocky, spoiled, rich kid who calls people he feels are beneath him "townies," but he's also sensitive, serious, and capable of giving heartfelt advice to a friend as he has done with Trina. Mr. Chavez has taken a character previously written as mere comic relief and given him a soul.

I know this party is going to be a disaster. I know it will come out that Spencer was Nik and Ava's stalker. I know Trina will feel betrayed and angry -- he will be just another person who has lied to her. But because Sydney Mikayla and Nicholas Chavez have so much chemistry, there is no way she won't eventually forgive him.

The casting director at GH should get a raise. This is the most robust teen scene on GH since Nikolas, Liz, Lucky, and Emily were teens. I'm excited to see what is next for our fearsome foursome.

Bonus, after the dust settles, Nikolas and Ava should be able to get back together, and I love them together. Also, if Ava thinks Avery is safer with Carly than with her, obviously, she has not been paying attention to Carly's world. Ava! Go get your kid! Now! BEFORE the party!

Back in Nixon Falls, there is no partying going on. Sadly, Lenny took his final breath just weeks after finding out he was sick. I'm saddened by this. Although I am getting impatient for Sonny to be back in Port Charles and to roar back in and pound Joey Novak's face, I like Lenny and Phyllis, and I hoped that even after Sonny returned home, he would keep them in his life. I still hope that for Phyllis. After he's back in town, maybe Phyllis can work for GH, since she won't want to run the Tan-O on her own. Or maybe Sonny will put her in charge of Mob Pasta.

I think Nina is going to grief sleep with Sonny and then feel overwhelming guilt the following day. I only hope Sonny's magic sperm doesn't impregnate the infertile Nina because Carly will kill her if they do.

Ghost Sonny is visiting Carly while "Mike" is holding Nina as she cries. Ghost Sonny understands why Carly and Jason must marry, but I am not sure Mike-Sonny will be as docile about the situation.

As Carly was pondering what it would be like to marry her BFF and worrying that it would change their dynamic, I started thinking about it, too. Jason and Carly have a perfect friendship. They are absolutely in each other's corner and are fiercely loyal. I envy their friendship sometimes. I have close friends, but no one would break into a mental hospital and bust me out if I were held captive. But they don't have that sexy-sizzle kind of chemistry. They have a brother and sister vibe. Yeah, I know they had sex years ago, but seriously -- do you want to have sex with your guy friends from 25 years ago? Um, no -- me, neither.

I am still rooting for Britt to be pregnant. I really liked the scene yesterday when Britt realized that Jason is struggling with how things went down, too. It confirmed that she wasn't a total fool and that Jason really did develop feelings for her. I know some viewers are peeved that Britt is more upset about losing Jason than Sam seems to be, but Jason and Sam decided together. They sat down and talked it all out. They have accepted the truth that they love each other, will always love each other, but can't be together for the safety of their children. Britt and Jason never got that chance, so everything is still hanging in the air. Perhaps they will get back together after Sonny returns to Port Charles. I just don't think Jax and Britt have that sizzle.

I adored Jax in the past. I especially loved him paired with Brenda. I was very fond of his early romance with Carly. He was a white knight, a hero rescuing damsels in distress. He was fun and romantic. He swept women off on his private jet to New Orleans for beignets and to Paris for Champagne. He was every woman's daydream. Rich, handsome, funny, intelligent, kind, and trustworthy. Jax was the antithesis of the dark, depressing, liquor bottle-throwing Sonny of yore.

But somehow, Jax has changed over the years, and now his character seems to be nothing more than a handsome hall monitor. I don't know if that's what the writers meant to do with him or if they just aren't invested in his character right now, but they've made him hard to root for. Sure, I understand a dad being worried about his kid in danger. I'm on his side there. But the scenes where he is blackmailing Michael to get Nina visits with Wiley and eavesdropping around corners make me indifferent to Jax as a character. Am I alone in this? Has Jax lost his magical luster over the years?

You know who will never lose their luster with me? Liesl and Scott. I have adored Kin Shriner since I was in high school and Kathleen Gati since she appeared as the Britch's mom. I tweeted this week that I wish it was like the old days and soaps could do extravagant location shoots because I really want to see Liesl and Scotty canoodling in St Lucia. Imagine them on a white sand beach with turquoise water lapping up around them while they sip on umbrella drinks and have ridiculous romantic banter. That would really cheer me up. Come on, ABC, what do you say? Give those two crazy kids a vaccine passport and some traveling money.

You know who else I have loved since the day he showed up in Port Charles? Wally Kurth and his alter ego, Ned Quartermaine. Ned has always been a mix of business shark and soulful musician. Sometimes battling for ELQ, sometimes donning his leather pants and hitting the road as Eddie Maine. He's a complicated guy, but one we root for because, at his core, he's genuine and loyal and acts on his best impulses more often than his worst. And that's saying something, since his parents are Lord Lawrence Ashton's con man and the morally questionable Tracy Quartermaine.

My favorite line of the week was uttered by Ned after proposing to the family that they do the right thing by Austin. He suggested that they offer Austin a lump sum of inheritance money to honor that Edward made peace with Jimmy Lee before his death. This brings Austin into the family and protects them from a lawsuit and perhaps even more significant losses. Olivia was moved by Ned's heartfelt and sensible solution. Ned replied, "You still remind me that I'm not just Edward's grandson; I'm Lila's."

We don't get enough Lila memories on GH. I teared up at that line and am tearing up now again as I type it. Anna Lee was such a lovely woman, and the character she played was the sort of woman I strive to be. I had a grandmother like Lila and a mother like Lila, but I have to say I'm like Ned, a mix between my extravagantly kind and loving mother and grandmother and my strict, no-nonsense, outspoken dad. I aim to be a Lila, but sometimes the Edward in me spills out. I would love to see some flashbacks of Lila advising Monica, Ned, Tracy, Laura, etc.-- she was such a strong presence on the show for so long, and it made my heart happy to hear her name mentioned and to give the nod to the fact that Ned still feels her influence in his life. Love. Love. Love.

While we are talking about the Q family, while I truly loved the photo montage to Stuart Damon at the show's end this week, I hope that's not the only tribute Alan will be getting. I need a whole episode.

Meanwhile, Austin is recruiting Chase to do his dirty work to snoop around the Q house to try to find evidence that Edward's intention was to reinstate Jimmy Lee. Maybe there is a hidden codicil in the walls of Chase's room. Yeah, I know it will be hard for Chase to sneak in a wheelchair, but it turns out that when he is motivated by being cheated on, he can walk and bound up flights of stairs. Austin seems like a reasonable and gentle soul, but for some reason, I don't think he will take Ned's lump-sum offer. My gut says he's out for revenge and wants it all.

Okay, readers, I want to have a serious talk with you. I have watched GH since 1977. Yes, I know, I am old. In those days, the idea that I could ever talk to anyone about my favorite show or interact with them was unthinkable. You could maybe write a fan letter, and in the mail, you'd get an 8x10 photo with an autograph. That was about it. While exciting, it wasn't as fun as today when your GH favorites are on Twitter, and you can write, and sometimes they respond. I think that's exciting. I get giddy when one of my favorite GH stars responds to something I post. It's delightful. But not everyone is friendly on social media. I read yesterday that one of my GH faves is taking a social media break because people are so mean. It upset me.

You do realize that the people on GH are actors, right? If Carly does something heinous, why would you write mean things to her portrayer? She acts out the script she is handed. She does a great job at it. But if you are mad that Carly and Jason are engaged, is it necessary to write hate letters to the actor playing the role? Did you write hate letters to the guy who plays Darth Vader after you saw Star Wars? Did you write hate letters to the guy who played Joffrey in Game of Thrones? I hope not, because he was a teenaged kid!

If you are upset about a plot line on GH and feel you need to express that, perhaps write a letter to the writers of GH. Let them know in a respectful tone that you aren't crazy about the story they are telling. But don't harass the actors. I don't want them to all quit social media because they are being harassed by jerks. That's my honest advice: "Don't be a jerk."

This week, Aunt Stella took that advice to heart and realized she had been a jerk to Portia before her stroke. She apologized to everyone involved, especially Trina. Maybe this will be the thing that gets her to accept Curtis and Portia's rekindled romance. But I can't imagine Aunt Stella ever giving up meddling entirely. Maybe she will use her meddling forces for good, and she can become the town matchmaker.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Grandma Laura and Kevin show up at Spencer's party? Will Jax sucker punch Joey Novak and inadvertently start a mob war? Will Harmony give us all her job interview skills, where a felon can persuade an interviewer to get hired at a prison to be a caregiver? Will Michael learn to pick up his shirts after this? Will Chase convince Willow to sleep with him before he dumps her, so we get another "Who's the Daddy" storyline? Will Brooke Lynn fall for her pal Chase or her faux baby daddy Valentin? Will Carly wear white to her wedding, or red like Lucy Coe?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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