Shoot that Schwein and be done with it!

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Fishing spears and Photo arks, low paychecks, fallen princes and drunken kisses. It's been quite a week on GH - let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops!

Dear readers, this week's title is to honor Liesl Obrecht, who summed up what we have all been thinking for months.

I absolutely adore Kathleen Gati, and she has been shining in all her scenes lately, the tough and the tender; she is so incredibly gifted. This week, her dear Britta accidentally shot her with a fishing spear but then pulled it out and patched her up in a shocking turn of events. Liesl was so happy that her daughter came looking for her that she wasn't even mad about being speared.

But I wish the writers had written this differently and given Liesl the fish spear gun to send a silver spear right through Peter's cold, dark heart. Is it wrong of me to wish Peter dead? Maybe. I mean, I don't want sweet Wes Ramsey to be unemployed, but hey, I have a twist that came from my husband who pretends he doesn't watch GH.

This week, when he was supposedly not watching GH but just reading while I had it on in the background, he said, "Hey, did you ever think maybe Peter has a twin, too? Maybe he is like Drew and Jason and Anna and her evil twin. Maybe the nice Peter that Maxie got to know at first was the good twin, and maybe this evil Peter is his twin brother who took his place."

And I thought, "Damn, Jeff, that never even crossed my mind!" But seriously, my non-GH watching man could have nailed it. Is it possible that the real Peter is tied up somewhere in the Cassadine lair, and this dude is named Henrik? It's certainly worth considering.

There are so many things that don't make sense this week, and here is one: Jason has the drop on Peter and doesn't instantly shoot him. WHY? Supposedly, Jason did it for Britt because he was unaware that Dr. Obrecht was already found. But Jason could have at least tied him up and slapped him around a little for our viewing pleasure.

Also, after Jason had captured Peter, how did Peter manage to activate Drew and alert him to where Jason was heading? Will poor Cameron Mathison's Drew ever see Scout, or will he be Peter's zombie for the next six months? Everyone left Crete, so I don't know who will rescue Jason, Britt, and Liesl from madman Peter and zombie Drew. I think our only hope is if Jason or Liesl can get Drew to snap out of it and come to his senses.

While we are in Cassadine territory, is it just me, or did you find it odd that Nikolas, who supposedly thought Victor Cassadine was dead, had his phone number to call and ask if he had shot Naomi? It makes me wonder if Victor worked with Nikolas all along and helped Nikolas take Wyndemere from Valentin and Charlotte? Side note: it was so wonderful to see the charming Scarlett Fernandez back on-screen as Charlotte! She seems like one of those kids who will have longevity here, like Kimberly McCullough growing up on-screen as Robin. I can see an adult Charlotte bringing her kids to see Grand-Papa. Back to Valentin -- how did his DNA test not show he had Cassadine DNA if he is indeed a Cassadine? It seems Nikolas might have either had help faking the DNA test or that Valentin's daddy, Victor, has been pulling the strings for a long time.

Another Cassadine family member got some fantastic news this week! Alexis was pardoned. It's good news for us, too, because I was tired of seeing Alexis in the dayroom, and I want her back home, practicing law and being with the Davis girls. Right now, you're saying, "Wait, she can't practice law. She's been disbarred!" But my understanding is that a full pardon means that she is off the hook. The bar can't hold her accountable for a crime she has been pardoned from, so technically, I think she can have her disbarment overturned and become a lawyer again. Get Diane on the case, and she will get it handled.

I've been enjoying the burgeoning friendship between Harmony and Alexis, and I hope once Alexis is free that it will continue. I think they could be good influences on one another -- Alexis can help Harmony mend her relationship with Willow, and Harmony can help Alexis forgive herself for her mistakes. I like seeing solid female friendships on soaps -- that's real life. While the catfights like Carly and Nina's are fun to watch sometimes, the genuine connections are more powerful and uplifting.

But once Alexis leaves Spring Ridge, who will keep an eye on Esme and Ryan? Readers, riddle me this... What sort of jail facility would leave a teenage intern on her first day to care for a notorious serial killer with no supervision? Another thing that makes no sense: Esme showed up for her first day, put on a smock, and suddenly she's in charge? In a room with inmates unsupervised? Does that seem nuts to anyone else? Are minors even allowed to work in prison? It seems to me you'd have to be 21. I don't know of any prisons with high or low security that would allow teenage interns. I worked for a church for over a decade, and even getting pastors into the prison to hold church services for inmates was an ordeal. But that's just me. If any of you know more than I do on this, educate me.

I am so curious about Esme's fascination with Ryan. Is she his secret child? Is she a creepy serial killer fan? Is she possibly Shiloh's other daughter? That one popped into my brain when she seemed fascinated with Harmony's tale of Dawn of Day. She's certainly pretty enough to be Willow's baby sister.

Also, what is up with her goading Joss and Cam into having sex? I feel like her "Let's just all get away into a cabin in the woods" thing is some downright evil plan. Is she going to lure them into the woods and murder them so Spence only has her left in his life? What is her end game here? I don't understand.

Meanwhile, Spencer seems far more invested in Trina, and let me tell you -- this is the couple I am rooting for. Sydney Mikayla and Nicholas Chavez have mad chemistry together. I know I keep raving about our fabulous new Spencer, but he continues to give powerhouse performances every single week. When he tearfully told his father and Ava that he did not want "one single penny of your blood money" and that he intended to make his way in the world, I teared up, too. I am proud of him but scared for him. Spencer had a wake-up call when he got his first paycheck from Kelly's. He asked the question that most Americans ask on payday: "How am I supposed to live on this?" My hope for the new and improved Spencer is that he will take more life advice from Trina, Alexis, and his Grandma Laura and less from Esme.

Now, let's talk about Spencer's Uncle Sonny. Readers, I know that Sonny Corinthos is a real son of a bitch, but I can't help but love him. When Sonny went to see Cyrus in prison and openly taunted him about never getting out, I laughed. When Sonny went into Joey Novak's hospital room and pulled the blinds, I was giddy. When he took away Joey's nurse buzzer, I sat up a little in my chair, anticipating the next thing. When he touched Joey's bruised and wounded body, and Joey screamed out in pain, I squealed with delight. In real life, I would not be rooting for Sonny, but in the fiction world, I love him.

I used to feel that way about Jack Bauer on 24, too. In real life, I wouldn't want someone torturing someone for information on behalf of my government, but in a fictional world, I loved watching Jack tie the villain to a chair and make him talk. What is that weird thing in our brain where we like in fantasy what we loathe in reality?

But I digress. Sonny convinced Joey Novak that the next thing he could do would be to turn over the Novak family territory to Sonny. Does this make Sonny the king of the five families? Will he hire Ms. Wu to work for him to reward her for her loyalty in his absence? Or does it mean instead that all the other families will fight Sonny over the power grab, and an all-out mob war is coming? I can't decide. What do you think will happen next? After months of living as "Mike," I felt that Sonny would come back softer, but Friday, he seemed like Sonny on steroids.

Now, let's briefly move from Sonny to his portrayer, Maurice Benard. If you aren't watching his show, State of Mind, on YouTube, you are missing out. The open and honest discussions he has with his co-star's past and present are always genuine and moving. The past week's episode was an interview with Lexi Ainsworth, who plays Kristina. I was already a huge fan, and now I love her even more! If you have the opportunity, check it out. You won't regret it!

Back to Sonny. We know that it was not Sonny who had Joey beaten. I guess that it was instead Curtis' mystery man. He was lurking around when Joey was on the docks, bragging about how he would take over the Savoy and teach Curtis a lesson. Is the mystery man a mobster? I am curious to see where this is all going. I hope nothing terrible happens to the Savoy because I like it as a set. It's a very stylish place for our favorite Port Charles residents to have a cocktail.

Ask Olivia! Seemingly, she had twelve cocktails. She was so drunk, she went to her five-star hotel, hammered, and she caused a scene and kissed a guy old enough to be her dad. Mind you, I'm not saying I wouldn't kiss Tristan Rogers because, at 75, he's still sexy as hell, but...she could have gone home to her hunky husband, Ned, and just admitted that she kind of sort of thinks he might have Leo's best interest at heart. She all but admitted to Robert that Ned might be correct, but she has that mentality that is driving me mad in the world in general right now, the "yeah, you are probably right, but I'm not going to do it because no one tells me what to do" mindset. Juvenile.

Ned walked in, saw Robert lip-locked with his wife, and punched him hard in the face. He dropped off the dog painting he bought for Olivia, and I thought, "Did I miss a scene where Olivia said she loved dogs?" Oh, well, at least it wasn't Heather's BLT painting.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Trina's Joel Sartore National Geographic Photo Ark become the new six-week commercial tie-in of the season? Will Shawn get a humanitarian award when his new nonprofit earns him accolades and Nikolas takes credit as the donor who funded it? Will Gladys' spending spree with Brook Lynn's credit card raise a red flag high enough for Austin to get the goods to turn the tables on Brook Lynn? Will Britt and Jason come back to Port Charles and open a scuba dive shop? Will hell freeze over now that Liz is siding with Carly over getting revenge on Nina, even though Liz did the same thing to Sam with Jason/Drew? Will Laura bring Martin back with her when she returns to Port Charles? Will someone please let Liesl fish spear Peter?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
Tamilu

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