A room with a view

For the Week of May 1, 2023
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Has the Quartermaine mansion shrunk? Why did no one pack mittens? Will Dex's hidden camera end Sonny? Why does Willow look so gorgeous if she's so sick? We ponder all that and more in this week's GH Two Scoops!

Dearest readers, I have been a General Hospital fan for a long time, and I remember stuff. I was delighted to see our beloved Jane Elliott step into the shoes of Tracy Quartermaine again this week. It reminded me of what I consider to be the glory days of GH. We have a lot of phenomenal actors on GH at present. Still, characters rarely get to be as openly antagonistic as Tracy Q. She waltzed in the door of the Q mansion, bellowing about Monica planting so many daffodils that it looked like the Easter Bunny threw up. I was so delighted, I wanted to kiss my TV screen. All my favorite lines this week belonged to Tracy. When Felicia said it was good that Tracy was coming home now because she needed her family, Tracy cackled out loud and said, "Have you met my family?" Her delivery is always spot-on.

But there was a very curious exchange about rooms in the Q mansion. The family informed Tracy that her room with the best view in the house had been given to Drew. Brook Lynne said "Granny" could share a room with her. Say what? If you are on soap Twitter, you will know that many long-time viewers took notice of this line.

Back in the day, the Q mansion had many rooms and wings. Once upon a time, the Q mansion housed Edward, Lila, Alan, Monica, Jason, A.J., Emily, Tracy, Ned, Lois, Dillon, and whichever husband Tracy was on (Paul, Luke, Lord Ashton, etc.), not to mention random cousins and various relatives like Celia, Jimmy Lee, Skye, Justus Ward, and the help, like Cook, Big Alice, and a host of others. There was no talk of room sharing.

Why, then, must they double up now when, as far as I can see, it's just Monica, Ned, Olivia, Leo, Brook Lynn, and Drew? Did they rent out wings in the mansion as an Airbnb?

My husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, suggested that any extra Quartermaines could move to the boathouse. Strange that a guy who doesn't watch GH would even know that the Quartermaines had a boathouse...

Inquiring minds want to know. I also want to know what connections Tracy used to get Chase his badge back. I really want to see a Granny Tracy and Brook Lynn caper. I love their dynamic together.

In other comeback news, Holly and her son Ethan returned. However, Ethan looks a little different than before. Nathan Parsons is no longer in the role and has been replaced by newcomer James Ryan. I am not sure if this is long-term or incidental. Since we only had a few scenes with Ethan, he immediately went right back out there after the world elite was bidding in an auction to assassinate him. This made absolutely zero sense to me.

The sane thing to do would be to lay low and hide out, but he is Holly and Luke's son, so maybe thrill-seeking is in his DNA. I wonder if this was a scheduling issue and Ethan will be back later with Nathan Parsons in the role, or James Ryan will be back in the part again to win us over. I liked him in the few scenes we saw.

Here are the two Ethan scenes I am most anticipating. 1) Reuniting with his not-dead father, Luke. (I refuse to accept that Luke is dead.) 2) Reconnecting with an all-grown-up Kristina, and the two of them making peace and hooking up. Since Kristina has been involved with both women and men, I think it's okay if her pendulum swings back to her first crush for a while. I need more scenes with Lexi Ainsworth, and she deserves her own fully fleshed-out storyline. Ethan described himself to Holly as a modern-day Robin Hood, robbing the rich and giving to the poor. Kristina is about to start a nonprofit, so maybe they can partner up for something life-altering for both.

I loved the Davis girls' scenes this week. Molly got the heartbreaking news that she has endometriosis and that her and T.J.'s desire to become parents will be more challenging than anticipated. It wasn't something they had been planning or thinking about. Still, when Molly had a pregnancy scare, they were both disappointed when it was a false alarm. I saw some debate online, and people were saying it wasn't true to Molly's character to want kids because she had always put her career over domestic issues like marriage and motherhood. But hey, guess what? People can change their minds. Molly focused on her career, and she and T.J., finished college, landed dream jobs, and are established. It makes perfect sense to me that this would be when they would consider starting a family.

Sam was asked to officiate Michael and Willow's wedding. At first, I was mocking the idea of Pastor Sam. Still, then my mind drifted to a genuine Pastor Sam who used to preach at a church I went to as a child, who said the phrase "you see" so often that my BFF and I used to hashtag tally every time he said it on our church bulletin and try not to giggle. "The Lord wants you to love your neighbor, you see, and when you are cruel to others, you aren't being a good Christian, you see, and that makes Jesus unhappy, you see." On and on for an hour. Our bulletin was filled with hash marks.

Sam and Willow alluded to their shared past without mentioning Dawn of Day and without Shiloh busting in, back from the dead. Since Sam, Willow, and Kristina were all in attendance, I half expected him to show up to see his daughter get married. He wouldn't be the first shocking back-from-the-dead person to arrive in Port Charles this year. Heck, Holly did it twice. Oh, wait -- one time, she wasn't supposed to be dead, just covered in third-degree burns.

I must say that Willow looks spectacular for a woman supposedly in her final days of life without a transplant. Willow hasn't lost a single strand of shiny hair off her head. Other than a few dark circles under her eyes, I haven't seen her suffer the sort of transformation that my family and friends with cancer suffered.

When Alexis had lung cancer on GH, they had a heartbreaking scene of her hair falling out during chemo. I tried to find it on YouTube, but I came up short. I did, however, find this scene where she breaks the news to Sam. And it's a classic. Young Sonny, Ric, and some inappropriate family relations!

With Willow, we have seen her lying on the couch in sweats with dark circles, but no scenes of her battling the disease. They did wheel her into the Q house with a wheelchair, but she just looked like a very healthy young lady hitching a free ride. Katelynn McCullough has done some remarkable acting in this storyline. I think she's a fantastic actress. I would suppose the reason for leaving out the ugliness of her cancer battle has more to do with a lack of hair and makeup personnel or budgetary issues. It's been hard to connect with this storyline deeply because we haven't seen it.

Meanwhile, watching episodes of Firefly Lane and A Million Little Things this week left me sobbing because they showed the truth about cancer. I know the truth about cancer because I watched my mother battle it for 20 years. Maybe that's why I am so sensitive to the lack of realism here.

At any rate, we just need the rescuers to get to the Cassadine mystery island lair and save Obrecht to bring her home to save Willow. Or, as Spencer so eloquently stated, "What is this dump?"

Somewhere in Greenland is a dusty old lab with out-of-date equipment. The dump in question is the 80s lab where Luke and Laura saved the world by figuring out Mikkos' secret password was Ice Princess, which still makes me laugh. Nowadays, it would be some 72-character and symbol-safe password generated by Apple.

It's a shame to lose a villain as charming and easy on the eyes as Charles Shaughnessy. Still, Victor has been written into a corner, and he cannot be redeemed.

So many brilliant people are working against him: superspies, plucky teens, former Navy SEALs, a redeemed mad scientist, a shady lovestruck lawyer, his formerly hunchbacked son, and Laura, half of the team that thwarted his family the last time they tried this. How can he succeed against all this Port Charles power? I still think Luke is out there, waiting to pounce, too.

So, our fearless rescue party thought to take jackets to Greenland, not mittens or hats. Thankfully, when Victor's stooges came out to the edge of the tundra to look around, there was a papier-mâché tree or rock precisely big enough to hide four adults. Sadly, they forgot to turn off the ringer on their giant satellite phone, and Holly's call came just when it was within earshot of the toadies. I'm anxious to see what happens on Monday!

Dear readers, I fear half of you will hate me when I say this, but I must say it. I detest Nina. I do not care for her at all. I think she's mean and vindictive; I have thought that since the day she found Sonny alive in Nixon Falls and let his family grieve for him. I believe it now that Nina turned Carly in to the SEC.

Ava calls Nina out on the ugly truth of Nina's vengeance-filled heart -- that she does not care about the rule of law, only revenge on Carly because Willow likes Carly better than Nina. I want Sonny to find out and dump Nina so hard. I want Sonny to throw a full whiskey decanter across the room and break it into a million pieces while he yells, "You're dead to me!" at Nina and mean it. I want Nina to end up alone. I want her to lose her half of the Metro Court and have nothing but her raggedy magazine to run and to have all her staff quit. I want Willow to take out a restraining order against her and ensure she never sees Wiley or Amelia again. If Victor Cassadine is looking for human subjects to try his pathogen on, I hope he takes out Nina. I know that's a very mean rant, but I am just over Nina's character.

Mind you, this is not me defending Carly's actions of not telling Nina that Willow is her daughter. She was also in the wrong. But she isn't spending every waking moment plotting to destroy Nina. I like Carly. Is the character overused sometimes and stuck into storylines where she shouldn't be? Yes, probably. But Laura Wright is a powerhouse performer. I can see the writers injecting Carly into certain storylines to liven things up. I suppose it all just comes down to personal preference. I prefer Carly to Nina 100 out of 100 times.

Ava told Nina that Carly and Sonny, even in mid-battle at each other's throats, would run to the others' rescue without fail. Ava's words came true when Sonny immediately went to the police station and intervened with Carly's case to make the PCPD think Drew was heading to Hawaii. When Michael heard that Sonny intervened, he told Willow that Sonny had done that for her, and she reminded Michael that Sonny did it for him, too. When Michael seeks revenge and wants to get Sonny put away, he doesn't think about all the times he's needed Sonny to bail him out of some trial or tribulation. Having Sonny on your side is very advantageous.

Nonetheless, Dex has set up a camera in the warehouse where the Pikeman deal is going down. I am so thankful Sonny has Brick along for the ride, not just "Muscles McTwoFace," Dex. Much like the Nina situation, Michael will regret having Dex spy on Sonny -- right after it's too late to undo the damage.

I look forward to the aftermath because Chad Duell and Maurice Benard will have some intense scenes, and the two of them at full strength will be "must-see TV."

I want Sonny to admit that he was wrong, that Nina was a mistake, that he wasn't in his right mind when "Mike" came back from Nixon Falls, and that he was thrown when he saw Jason and Carly had married; I want Sonny to finally put it all together, this twisted version of Stockholm syndrome.

Michael has wrongly accused Ned of turning his mother over to the SEC, and even Brook Lynn is suspicious of her dear old dad. I dislike it when people think poorly of Ned. Even though it's something he would have done in the past, he certainly would never have pulled such a stunt at his cousin's wedding, with Willow at death's door -- right after Ned gave Michael that heartfelt speech about slowing down, how work can't love you back, and how he needed to cherish his time with Willow. I hope when the truth comes out, Michael will apologize to Ned.

But that may take a while. It's not like Nina will have a guilty conscience and confess, so I wonder how long it will take for the truth to come out. In next week's previews, I see Laura sitting down with her brother Martin, so perhaps he will let it slip that Nina is the one who pointed the SEC in Carly's direction. Why would he do that? When Laura tells him this investigation is endangering her grandson and great-grandson.

Readers, isn't it a little nutty that half the town has words of support for Portia because they have all had their kids kidnapped in Port Charles, too? I was seriously cracking up. "Oh, girl, I know just how you feel; my kid (fill in the blank) was kidnapped, too!" Michael, Avery, Robin, Charlotte, Jake, Lucky, Lulu, etc. -- Port Charles milk cartons must be littered with missing kids.

I am playing a new drinking game just for my own amusement. Every time Portia declares that when Trina gets home, she will never let her see Spencer again, I will do a shot. I will be so wasted. And Portia will fail so completely. There is no way she can keep Trina from her one true love. One, because Trina is an adult, and two, because those two young people are, to quote a song, "so into you, I can't get to nothing else." When Anna and Valentin call Trina brave, Portia says, "I'd rather have her be a coward and safe at home." I understand that sentiment; that's how I felt when my kids were in the military during perilous times.

Another sweet scene this week was Alexis and Anna discussing Valentin, and Alexis admitting that she and Valentin have come to trust and depend on one another. Alexis said that being with Anna had changed Valentin, and Anna realized that he had changed her, too. I liked that exchange, and it rang true that Valentin would reach out to Alexis.

Readers, this is just a side conversation. I went to my storage unit this week and found a box of memories, and one of the things I found was a photo of Thorsten Kaye from his time on One Live to Live. I started thinking about how much I loved that show and All My Children. Since ABC axed AMC and OLTL ten years ago, has there been anything as good in those time slots? The Chew? No. Katie Couric's failed talk show? No. Tamron Hall? No. Tamron Hall has what are good ratings now, a million households. But OLTL had 3.1 million viewers back in 2013. A decade ago, that was considered low ratings before the age of streaming. In today's world, it would be considered a smash hit. Succession on HBO had 2.3 million people who watched its last season's premiere, which made the news.

And now, congratulations to all the GH Daytime Emmy nominees! I am delighted for all of them but thrilled to see Sonya Eddy's name on the ballot. She had some beautiful scenes with Marshall, discussing her insecurities about becoming a doctor. I hope those were the scenes submitted. She was such a gem. I don't know who to root for in the categories when we have more than one person to choose from. We are blessed with an overabundance of talent.

Outstanding Daytime Drama Series; Outstanding Lead Performance: Actress -- Finola Hughes; Outstanding Lead Performance: Actor -- Maurice Benard; Outstanding Supporting Performance: Actress -- Sonya Eddy, Brook Kerr, and Kelly Thiebaud; Outstanding Supporting Performance: Actor -- Nicholas Chavez, Chad Duell, Robert Gossett, and Jon Lindstrom; Outstanding Younger Performer -- Eden McCoy; Outstanding Guest Performance -- Alley Mills; Outstanding Writing Team, Outstanding Directing Team; and Outstanding Original Song -- "Darling Darling" by William Lipton

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Olivia have leftover lasagna for days? Will Tracy have to sell off baubles and trinkets in the Q mansion to pay off her four million-dollar bid for Ethan? When Sonny takes Nina to the island, will the closet be filled with dresses from the plethora of women he has taken there before? Will the extraordinarily precious and lovely Donna and Avery get to be flower girls in the next ten GH weddings, please? Will Diane and Robert get to kiss again after he pays her dry-cleaning bill, or will Holly's presence in town distract him?

Will Sonny ask to see the details of the fake nonexistent trust Nina set up for her grandkids, since they are his grandkids, too? Will Dante grow weary of being the peacemaker of all the warring factions of his family and go to Pastor Sam for counseling? When Avery asked for a snack in her flower girl dress (why was I afraid Sonny would give her a meatball with his famous sauce to spill on her flowery dress)? Will we find out where Andre Maddox hangs out when he isn't dragged into evil Cassadine destroy-the-world or brainwashing plots occasionally?

Will the SEC be able to convince me that it was really such an urgent matter that they had to interrupt a dying woman's wedding to arrest Carly over a crime that happened months ago, or how they even knew to look for her at a private family wedding? Will Scott and Portia bond over the fear of their loved ones being kidnapped so he can help her with her quick divorce and restraining orders on Spencer? Will Helena's curse come back to haunt Laura again? Will I have to dig up my college mythology book I never read to understand Project Demeter mythology?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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