Siren of the sea

For the Week of November 13, 2023
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News flash! There's apparently an ocean in the Quartermaines' backyard, alpacas can be models, the Peter August stairs are still frightening, and Port Charles is in chaos over a single bullet. No treats, but only tricks were served up over Halloween in Port Charles.

Dear readers, Eddie and Olivia must have been doing breathing exercises, because they were underwater for like 40 minutes. Just how deep is that backyard pond where they were Little Mermaid swimming for 30 minutes, and nets and seaweed were trapping Eddie? Are there deep-sea fisherman in the Quartermaines' backyard? I was afraid Olivia would lose consciousness and come up thinking she was her alter ego pop princess Livie Falconeri singing," Jenny from the Block."

I have loved this season in the Q house. Ned thinking he's Eddie, Tracy Q back ruling the roost, and Rena Sofer back as Lois. I hope Lois never leaves and that Brookie keeps having troubles that require her mama's assistance. The flashbacks to Ned and Lois' romance have thrilled my heart but also made me sad. Do you remember when soaps were over the top? Do you remember location shoots and people riding roller coasters at Coney Island and jumping out of planes, and boats blowing up? Yeah, yeah, I know, "budget cuts."

Ned is back, but I will miss Eddie. I love that Ned can remember everything, his life as Eddie and his life as Ned. I would love to see one incorporated guy. Maybe Ned can retire, let Michael and Drew have at it at ELQ, and go into the music biz with Brookie.

I am mad about Wally Kurth, both as an actor on my TV and as a human being. I was so happy to see Eddie and didn't want him to leave, but when he said he was Ned today, I teared up because, just like Olivia, I love Ned, too. Do you follow Wally Kurth on social media? If not, you should go and seek him out. His posts are always uplifting, warm, and encouraging. He's like sunshine. Plus, I like to hear him sing, and when he has new music, I can find it easily.

Now that Ned is back in present time, I hope he immediately tells Carly that Nina was the one who turned her and Drew in to the SEC. I understand Michael's desire to keep Willow happy, but when he sees his mom and Drew trying to solve the mystery of who turned them in and blaming Ned, it bugs me that he doesn't put them out of their misery. If watching soaps has taught us anything, it's that lies always come out, and you may as well just tell the truth. When Willow discovers that Michael was using this secret to blackmail Nina, will she be angrier with Michael or Nina? Maybe she will dump them both and have a fling with T.J. like she was accused of. But now it seems we have a good Molly -- NuMolly #4 seems to be a keeper!

I appreciate the nods to the past recently and seeing old familiar faces. From the day I started watching GH until now, Tracy has been one of my favorite characters. Jane Elliot is just as fierce, funny, formidable, and fantastic as she was 40 years ago. I adore her. I hate to see her leave Port Charles. The thing that hit me is that Tracy is going off to Amsterdam with Bobbie to tend to Luke's affairs. While Bobbie is still alive in Port Charles, our beloved Jackie Zeman isn't, and I wonder if this storyline is going to set up the storyline where Bobbie dies, too. I am glad I am retired because when they say goodbye to Bobbie, I am going to need to take a day or two to recuperate.

If Tony Geary would ever, ever consent to a return, saying goodbye to Barbara Jean would be the time -- even if it's just angel Luke welcoming Bobbie to heaven. And don't give me any of your lip about Luke not making it into heaven. I'm a girl who believes in redemption. Blame it on my pastor daddy and Baptist Sunday School back in the '70s.

Tracy stole Deception for Brook Lynn, and I am with Tracy and Lois. I like the idea of BLQ becoming a partner in Deception and tying her music into the modeling. Why not have Sasha as the Face of Deception and Blaze as the Voice of Deception? Brooke Lynn could combine her two passions into one imaginative and dynamic company. I'm interested to see how this plays out.

The most shocking and soapy storyline right now is Anna shooting Charlotte. Readers, we know that Grandpa Victor poisoned Charlotte against Anna, but this is revisionist writing. Do you recall when Valentin and Laura rescued Charlotte from boarding school, and Charlotte was terrified of Uncle Victor? Valentin warned her to stay away from him and not confront him, and she seemed happy to comply.

Did he brainwash her with tarot cards like he did Drew? Are these letters new letters? Is he still alive and controlling her every move? Or is she rereading old letters he wrote before he died? I am so confused by all of this. Or is Anna's theory correct? Is this the work of an arch nemesis from the WSB who is using fake letters from Victor to trick Charlotte into being his helper? I am beginning to think that Anna is right.

Her fight with Valentin Friday had me on the edge of my seat. At the same time Charlotte was telling Laura that she was afraid that Anna was going to hurt Valentin, Anna and Valentin were standing in the "Peter August" stairwell! I was terrified that Valentin was going to tumble down the stairs and that Anna would be blamed for it. Thankfully, I was wrong this time.

Also, the Friday scenes between Charlotte and Laura made me rethink my position. Perhaps Charlotte has not gone Cassadine crazy. Perhaps instead, she genuinely believes her father is in danger. She seemed truly terrified that Anna would kill her papa. If that is the case, I must give her a little grace and understanding. She's a kid, and kids are impressionable.

But mostly, and it pains me to say this because he is my soap crush, I am mad at Valentin. Valentin knew that Charlotte trashed Anna's hotel suite and suspects that she burned down Anna's house. Why would he not tell the woman he loved? Why would he not send Charlotte to see Kevin much sooner? Why would he and Nina cover that up and let Anna worry about who her stalker might be and drive herself mad with worry? Anna hurled those same questions at him, and his only response was that he wanted to protect his daughter because he had failed her so often. But he never thought to protect Anna.

Finola Hughes is a soap goddess. I get giddy when the writers really write for her. The scenes she had this week following Charlotte's shooting were soul crushing. There is a huge difference between people on soaps who can fake soap cry and people who can openly sob on camera. Finola is firmly in the second group. When Anna is beating herself up for shooting an unarmed child, you can feel every ounce of her remorse and horror. This was an Emmy-worthy performance, and I hope she gets credit not just from adoring fans like me, but also officially from her peers.

And even though I am mad at Valentin, I am not mad at his perfect portrayer, James Patrick Stuart, who has also turned in mesmerizing, rip-your-heart-out performances as Charlotte's heartbroken papa. When he cries, I cry. I have no control over it. Tears just start leaping from my eyes when Valentin weeps. If I were still a teenage girl instead of a 60-year-old woman, I would have a poster of him on my wall.

Scarlett Fernandez is also turning in great work as the latest crazy Cassadine woman. She can't help it, the crazy is in her bloodstream; both sides of her family have had mental health concerns. Charlotte's Grandma Helena wore her crazy like a crown, but Grandma Laura sought help for hers. It will be interesting to see if Charlotte's under Victor's control or if it's something else altogether. I am glued to my set to find out! I felt Charlotte's absolute panic today as she warned Laura about Anna. Scarlett Fernandez is acting her heart out, and I am so thrilled they brought the original Charlotte back for this storyline.

But if we are talking about having crazy relatives, we have to talk about Esme. I write her name, and I already hear some of your groaning. Esme came from Ryan and Heather and started out evil, but since the amnesia, she's a kinder, gentler, version of herself. I want the writers to either A) Let us see that Esme is faking or starting to remember, or B) make it clear that her memory is never coming back and let her move on into a new life and new romance and truly make her a new character.

Avery Pohl was a terrific villain, but she's also got the makings of a terrific heroine. Again, some of you really want her to pay for her crimes, and I understand that. But if Trina doesn't want to press charges and Esme doesn't remember her past life, then maybe we just have to accept that Esme is gone. If Cam ever comes back, I can see Cam falling for the new and improved Esme. He had a soft spot for her even when she was evil. Think about how crazy it would make Joss if Cam started dating Esme!

I was unnerved by Spencer exploding on Trina. Trina just said the word we were all thinking. When Spencer told Trina that Esme was moving out, she said, "Finally!" and I laughed, but Spencer erupted in anger and frustration. Trina called Spencer out -- just like Laura did -- and reminded him that the only way he could have custody of his brother is if he is a couple with Esme. Spencer told Trina not to make him choose Ace or her, because she wouldn't like his answer, and Trina had enough and stormed out. I loved Joss's jaw drop at the end. Also, who thought that Dex would be the one to try to be the peacemaker? Dex has grown on me over the months, and I like him more and more all the time.

After this fight scene, I get the uncomfortable feeling that the writers are going to break up Sprina and have Spencer move in with Esme and Ace. In the meantime, they will stick Trina with some dud like Rory and make us wait another six months for them to reunite. I hope I am wrong, but it seems to be headed that direction. Spencer, Ace, and Esme will have their happy little family going; Spencer will secretly pine for Trina; and then Nikolas will come home, claim his son, and blow up the whole thing.

Has there ever been a paternity test? Do we even know for certain that Nikolas is the father? For all we know, the kid isn't even a Cassadine. Maybe she drugged Cam and slept with him, and the bay is Liz's grandson. Probably not, but until Nikolas comes home, we will never know.

Joss's mom, Carly, is thrilled that Drew is out of prison, but to me, it seemed a bit too easy. I worry about what the future will hold for him, especially with Cyrus out and about. I'm feeling very foolish because, for a minute, I thought maybe Cyrus had really changed, but of course, he didn't. The fact that he's making rounds telling everyone they have nothing to fear from him makes me convinced that they absolutely have something to fear from him.

I'm kind of mad that T.J. kept Austin from smothering Mason. I wanted to be rid of that lollipop-licking loser for good. He just skeeves me out when I see him, and I want him to go away. I think Austin may try to off him again if Mason continues to try to incriminate Austin. But bad news for Austin: Sonny already figured out that Dr. Gatlin-Holt has been in on it from the start and informed Ava that she has been played.

Hell hath no fury like an Ava scorned. I am eagerly awaiting the smackdown Ava will give to Austin the next time they meet. But what I am really waiting for is Nikolas' homecoming. I don't know who Nikolas is anymore. Adam Huss? Marcus Coloma? I don't know. I only know that even mentioning Nikolas makes me sad. Why? We lost Tyler.

Readers, if you have read my column for any length of time at all, you have probably heard me urge the powers that be to have Tyler Christopher return 100 times. There was always hope in the back of my mind that he would be back. When they let Marcus Coloma go, I thought, "Tyler is coming back!" When Adam Huss filled in and then vanished, I thought, "Tyler is coming back!" I kept hoping for it. No offense to any other actors who played Nikolas; I liked most of them. But you know, I'm the kind of girl who is still hoping Steve Perry comes back to Journey someday.

Tyler Christopher's death was devastating. The headline took the wind out of me. Like many of you, I went on YouTube and sought out old clips of our beloved Prince Nikolas and watched many of Tyler's classic scenes. It was both beautiful and terrible to view those beloved memories again. To be reminded of his immense talent, his smoldering passion, his soulful performances, and his breathtaking good looks hurt a little.

He was the kind of guy that if you were in the room with him, you'd be leveled if he smiled at you. He was so beautiful. He brought such joy to our lives, but all the while, he was struggling behind the scenes. I loved him. I know you loved him.

Last year, when Maurice Benard featured Tyler Christopher on his State of Mind show, I watched with a box of Kleenex in my lap. Hearing everything he had endured and overcome left me sobbing. Even now as I type this paragraph, my heart aches. He had turned a corner. He had support like Maurice Benard and Maurice's wife Paula who were looking out for him. I believed with all my heart that he was on his way back to health. I'm so sad that didn't happen.

My heart goes out to the GH family. The amount of loss they have experienced this year is unthinkable. Grief is like being in the ocean and trying to walk out of the waves, but every time you get close to shore, another wave comes and knocks you back again. Sonya Eddie, Jackie Zeman, Billy Miller, and now Tyler Christopher. I know the GH crew also lost N'Neka Garland, who was a producer. I want to bake them all pies and hug them. It's hard to process that much loss. I had a year like that once where several people in my family died one after the other, and then my dog got hit by a car. I was out in the street like a crazy person yelling at the sky to God, "You had to take my dog, too!" Ugh.

Let's cheer this up a little now that I depressed us... That alpaca was adorable, and Sasha and Cody posing with the alpaca made my heart dance. Sofia Mattson is stunning, and Josh Kelly is very easy on the eyes, too. But throw in an alpaca, and I'm not looking at those two gorgeous people anymore because the alpaca is cuter than anything. Oh, I love his squishy little face.

Side note: Olivia and Eddie were underwater the entire time Cody was driving the alpaca across town.

Another happy scene: little Scout taking Drew to visit her Grandma Alexis. Cosette Abinante is an adorable child, as are all the kids on GH. The GH casting director that hired baby Ace, new Danny, Donna, Avery, Georgie, James, and Wiley has a great eye. But where is Rocco? Also, where is Spinelli? You think we might see him when he and Maxie are dropping Georgie from place to place or that he'd drop by to see his daughter's new home. In my opinion, we need more Spinelli.

I also like the budding romance between Blaze and Kristina, and I like that Alexis and Blaze met and seemed to like one another. Alexis has never liked any of Kristina's partners before, so it would be wonderful if Kristina gets into a healthy relationship with someone who is good for her instead of a cult leader (Shiloh), a professor who's nearly her mom's age (Parker), or an abusive jerk like Kiefer. Kristina has been through so much heartache in her life, and she deserves to be happy.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Cyrus get a job as a mall Santa to prove he's being nice and not naughty? Will the GH Quartermaine pizza have anchovies from the Q lake on it this year? Will Lois blind herself scratching her eyes with those weapons she calls fingernails? Will Sonny convince "lapsed Anglican" Anna to convert to Catholicism? Will Port Charles ban Halloween, since tragedy always happens in Port Charles on October 31? Will Cody get Sasha a baby alpaca for Christmas? Will Sonny really fly his grandkids to the aquarium, or will he be too busy trying to take down Cyrus? Will Charlotte have to wear an ankle monitor to junior high?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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