Not Those Meddling Kids Again: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of November 10th

We called right here in General Hospital Two Scoops, for the last two weeks. The Professor Dalton lab break-in would turn into some Scooby-Doo hijinks, but without the dog and the Scooby snacks (if you don't count Outback, who's hanging out with Cody in the Q stables).

But those meddling kids sure did it — without their ring leaders. And that was part of the problem. And unlike the Scooby-Doo gang, these kids got it all wrong. Thanks to Emma, they thought they were going to find evidence of animal testing, but instead they found...nothing. Except for a whole lotta trouble. And their timing could not have been worse.

Heart-stopping surprises with the Gruesome Twosome

We have to hand it to General Hospital this week. We learned we could expect the unexpected (which is always nice in a spoiler world, especially for someone who writes spoilers) on Monday when Ned's run-of-the-mill argument with everyone's favorite (not really) smarmy politician cartoon villain, Drew Cain. Out of nowhere, Ned had a heart attack, something we definitely did NOT see coming.

The next day, Willow appeared out of nowhere at the Metro Court Gardens to ruin a perfectly good dessert date with Michael, Jacinda, and Wiley. Willow did a Willow, as she always does, but we'll get to that later. Because it was Ned's heart attack that led to the crazy kid calamities this week, especially the fate that has befallen poor Rocco.

Those crazy kids...and the mayor

If Ned hadn't had a heart attack thanks to Drew (everything horrible somehow almost always leads back to Drew), then Emma and Gio would have been the ones breaking into Professor Dalton's lab. Instead, Emma and Gio called the whole thing off, but designated lookouts Rocco, Danny, and Charlotte decided to go for it anyway, to calamitous and chaotic results.

Rocco sacrificed himself for his brother and sister, but how fortuitous (not really) that Professor Dalton dragged him all the way across campus right to his grandmother's mayoral debate. When your grandma is the mayor and soap opera's greatest heroine, well, you've got the right lady sticking up for ya. Too bad it didn't do much good.

Laura just wanted to hug Rocco. And so did we. Who doesn't want to hug sweet and righteous Rocco? Every day, for that matter. But this week, we especially wanted to hug him. When he was taken off to spend two nights in jail, we wept with his two moms in the courtroom gallery. LEAVE OUR ROCCO ALONE!!!

This wasn't supposed to happen this way. When the Scooby-Doo gang boards the Mystery Machine to embark on a caper, they solve the mystery and all's well that ends well by the time the half hour is over. But alas, this isn't a cartoon despite the presence of Drew. This is a soap opera and mysteries just aren't solved that easily.

However, Fred (Gio), Velma (Emma), Daphne (Charlotte), Shaggy (Rocco), and Scooby (for these purposes, Danny? Maybe?) are all in a boatload of trouble. Rocco might be the only one feeling it right now, but this is going to spiral and they're all going to get caught up in it. But maybe, in the end, we'll finally find out what's really going on in that lab cause we're pretty darn curious.

Ewww Drew (as usual)

Now, about Drew. First, the reason Rocco took the fall and tried to cover for Danny was that he's afraid Drew will go after this kid he hates, whom he used to think was his son. That's how far Drew Cain has fallen. Every ounce of him makes our skin crawl. He just hobbled away from Ned, gasping for breath on the ground, like it was nothing and never looked back.

Did he not hear about the heart attack and learn it was real? Did he feel any guilt? Or did he just have someone else to go taunt? At least he got to see Willow, that little dimwitted afterthought. Chase pays more attention to Willow than Drew does. He's more concerned with putting Michael behind bars. Willow who?

What's wrong with Willow? Besides the obvious

And then there is Willow. What can be said about Willow that hasn't already been said? Well, she's roaming free now and had to put on the perfect coordinating outfit to do it after that dreadful Pentonville wardrobe. She made a beeline for the Metro Court to see "my mother" and Wiley, but what did she plan to do when she saw the woman she has disowned more than once since summer? You know, her mother. Was she actually going to be...nice? We doubt it. Cause she's Willow.

And when Willow saw that Michael had Wiley with a — gasp! — sex worker, she couldn't have been more appalled. As expected, she lost her s*%$ as soon as Wiley was out of earshot. (We're surprised she waited that long.) Michael could only smirk as Willow grabbed him and spat that he would be the one behind bars soon. Oh girl, that man is always 10 steps ahead of you and your creepy, icky boyfriend.

Sonny and Justine: Just say no to ICK!

Speaking of icky, what was that moment with Justine, Sonny, and the shmutz on her face? When he wiped that tire grease from her cheek, we were as weirded out as we were when Drew would stalk Willow before he finally got her to do the deed on the playroom floor. There is something so creepy about Sonny and Justine that we can't quite put our hands on it.

Plus ya know what? We really don't like her. Aside from being completely uptight, she seemed to take glee in prosecuting a teenage boy. When you come for our Rocco, you'd better run.

Make Britt a doctor again

She might be The Britch, but even this Britch makes a damn good doctor, and there is no reason that she shouldn't be one. Her doctor persona was one of the things that made her work as a character, even when she was doing completely horrible things.

Plus, it makes no sense that she isn't one. She's in trouble with the medical board cause she faked her own death? She spent multiple years in prison and snagged the chief of staff spot within minutes of her release. Come on. Find a real reason for the GH staff to hate her — and a real reason for her being a desk clerk in the ER.

Can we also find out what the heck she was really doing at the Five Poppies already, so we don't have to break out the Scooby gang again?

Till next week, Scoopers, when Port Charles finally votes. Better late than never, right? (Just blame baseball.)

Catch all-new episodes of General Hospital weekdays on ABC and Hulu.