So I married an axe murderer
For the Week of December 17, 2018
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Ava weeps at Kiki's grave
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Two gruesome murders in Port Charles, and the killer is wandering around in plain sight, feeling very pleased with himself. A boy contemplates baking pot brownies just as his grandma stops by for a visit. Anna lures Obrecht back to town under false pretenses, but Liesl has an out. A very unexpected week in Port Charles! Let's unpack in this week's Two Scoops!

Dearest Readers, I know that you're probably thinking "No one has actually married the axe murderer yet." Yet being the key word.

Since I am a real person and not a soap person, long-lasting love is possible. Two weeks ago was my 30th wedding anniversary to my husband Jeff, the one I often mention as a guy who pretends he doesn't watch GH but is always giving me his comments on the show for my column.

To celebrate our anniversary, we went on a cruise. It was delightful, and one of the key highlights of a cruise vacation is that you are in the middle of the ocean and have no idea what's going on in the real world. It was exactly what I needed.

In case you were wondering, no one in the Caribbean gives a rat's ass what the President tweeted, or if the stock market crashed, or if there is a blizzard in Toledo. They didn't even care that there was a serial killer loose in Port Charles. They care about important things like rum.

So, when I came back after two weeks to discover that Kiki had died at the hands of Ryan and that Ava was kissing the man who killed her daughter, I was horrified!

I understand that Hayley Erin left on her own, so killing off her character when a serial killer was in town made sense. The real winner in this storyline is Maura West, who is doing some of her very best work (and that's saying something because she's always splendid). Every Ava scene I have watched since Kiki died has been a powerhouse. In her home, depressed with no makeup, staring at her face in the mirror; at the funeral; at the gravesite, sifting through the dirt, pouring out her heart to her dead daughter's grave. Roaring like a lion at the whole town, daring them, begging them, goading them into blaming her or accusing her, trying to read their minds-- it's all so real and raw and gut-wrenching. If Maura doesn't win an Emmy this year, I'll never watch the Emmys again -- not like it's easy to watch, anyway, since they stopped showing it on TV, so I guess my threat is pretty empty. But she deserves recognition for the incredible work she is doing right now.

But you know what I really want to see? I want to see the day that Ava finds out that "Kevin" is really Ryan and that he killed her daughter, and I want to see her level him. If he's going to die for real this time, let him die at Ava's hand. I was also touched with the scenes between Laura and Ava and between Michael and Ava. There are people all around Ava who are showing extraordinary kindness, considering things she has done to them in the past. Will any of that sink through the fog of grief? Probably not right now. It takes a while to find your way through the dark.

On the lighter side, our favorite comic relief semi-villain Liesl Obrecht is back in town. I kept wondering how we were going to get her out of torturing Peter so she could come home, and now we know -- she's blackmailing Valentin. To be honest, I don't care how she gets out of it; I just want her in Port Charles and out on the streets, stirring up trouble. Liesel knowing that Valentin stole DNA from Madeline to fix the DNA tests is a pretty big chip to play. How do you think Valentin can convince Peter to do what he wants? I think Peter might actually do it for Maxie. They might even "almost kiss" again when he tells her he won't send her mother-in-law to jail. Maybe Liesl and Spencer Cassadine can go to ethics rehab together.

When Spencer told Sonny he had heat on him, I cracked up. It's mid-December now; are they still counting votes? Is there a runoff election? I hope Laura is mayor and gets to pardon Ava for killing Ryan. (Yeah, yeah, I know that's not a thing, but maybe in Soapyville, it is.)

Okay, readers what's your vote. Is Cam really baking pot brownies for Oscar, or is he going to make a sample batch for himself? If GH is going to do this, I hope they really do it and take a deep dive into the issue of medical marijuana, the legalization in many states (including mine), and all the issues that surround it. But my guess is it's just going to be stoned teenagers.

At least Oscar hasn't joined the cult with Kristina yet, but he's getting temple rubs from the cult recruiter Daisy, so who knows what will happen if his treatment works. While Daisy plays herself off as a very wholesome girl, I think she's the one who is blackmailing Sam about her past. But why? Who is she related to, and what is she looking for? Did she befriend Kristina just to get to Sam? Was that her end game all along? So many questions.

One question that has finally been answered is that Lulu and Valentin know that Charlotte is bullying Aiden, and they are addressing it head-on, much to Nina's dismay.

I think Nina deciding to stay at Valentin's to protect Charlotte from Lulu is a bit far-fetched, but I'm okay with that as long as she stays. No matter how sweet their reunion is, I know it will be short-lived, since Valentin can't stop lying to save his life. But I give him a pass on this one; he loved Nina so much that he found out what her one true dream was at the core of her heart and made it happen. Sure, he did it in a totally stupid way, but I give him points for knowing her heart and trying to fill it.

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole Aunt Stella, Marcus, Yvonne, and Mike quadrangle. On one hand, it's sweet that Mike found a lady friend at Turning Point. On the other hand, The Notebook would have been a really crappy movie if, when Noah came to read the notebook to Allie, she was having a fling with some rando patient.

Of course, this opens the door for Stella and Marcus to reconnect and to possibly eventually end up together. But the time between now and that future might be too sad for me to watch. My uncle had Alzheimer's, and it still breaks my heart a little when I see stories like this. How a person can go from devoted family man to not even knowing his kids -- it's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm glad GH is tackling it, but it's going to make me weep. I just know it.

Scarlett Fernandez is adorable -- this we have known all along. But on Friday, I saw a glimpse of a real blossoming actress, too. Those scenes when Lulu confronted her about bullying Aiden -- and tears welled up in her eyes -- were just so good. Part of me wanted to take Nina's approach and tell Lulu, "Stop making her cry!" at the TV, but I can't bear to see little Aiden draw himself as the size of a raisin anymore, so she has to stop bullying him.

Readers, what do you think will happen in the Kim/Drew/Alexis/Julian puzzle? I'm rooting for Drew to use that flash drive and remember that he and Kim were in love. And I want the Julexis reunion I have been waiting for FOR-EV-ER. I really like Kim and "Charlie," but there's a deeper connection for both of them with the partners they have a history with. Lots of people can be compatible to pass the time with, but they never replace The One.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Chase ask Willow back to his lair for dessert? Will Sonny and Laura ever mention Luke's name and that time they went ice-fishing? Will Lucky ever come and see his kids/mom/sister? Will Britt stay out of trouble or be back in jail within the month? Will anyone ever recognize that Michael has Lila's kindness? (He reached out to both Ava and Franco this week with support and kindness, and he hates them both!)

Will Uncle Sonny pay Valentin a visit and tell him to leave Spencer alone for election tampering? Will Griffin realize it was a huge mistake to leave the safety of the church and go back to the priesthood? Will anyone in Port Charles be able to open the Bible and read the Christmas story to the kids at General Hospital without bursting into flames?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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