Dear readers, this is the very best time of year to be a soap opera columnist! It's sweeps season, and instead of saying, "What on earth can I write about this week?" I can say instead, "There is so much to write about this week, how can I possibly fit it all in?"
This was a week when I could not wait to see the next episode of GH! Even my husband, who refuses to admit he watches GH, was asking me excited questions about what happened and what he had missed!
Where do I even begin? I think I'm going to do the GH top ten this week because we have so much to cover!
1) Arguably the most shocking moment of the week -- Lulu Falconeri was stabbed! Deranged serial killer Ryan masquerading as Kevin Collins once again stabbed someone in broad daylight, in a public setting, with no screams, no witnesses, and strangely, no blood on him. Lulu invited Kevin into her office at the Invader, only, of course, it was a braggadocio Ryan. Lulu now knows that "Kevin" is the serial killer, but she still does not know that Kevin is actually Ryan. How could she? The whole town believes that Ryan has been dead for 20 years, and no one knows the real Kevin is drugged and tied up at Ferncliff.
I don't think the writers are going to kill Lulu off, so I am hoping that Monday is the day "Kevin" gets caught as he tries to finish off Lulu. But there is still a week until the end of the month, so who knows how long we can string this out? One sticking point: someone please mention Luke's name. Tell me that Luke wouldn't make a beeline home if anyone had told him that his "Cupcake" had been stabbed. If you can't get Tony Geary to visit or FaceTime, at least show Laura calling him and have him say something off-screen.
2) No one is considering Kevin as a possible suspect. Why not? Since Kevin snapped before and thought he was Ryan, why isn't anyone at all looking at Kevin as a suspect? (Except now, of course, Lulu...) Jon Lindstrom has to be eating this up. It's been two decades since he got to let his freak flag fly and play Kevin's deranged twin, Ryan. Kevin is a nice guy but probably a little dull to play. Ryan, on the other hand, is filled with flair and evil and things it's fun for an actor to portray.
The moment when Ryan visited Kevin and excitedly announced, "I am totally pulling this off!" was the most fun I have seen Jon Lindstrom have in ages. But all this fun can't last, because Ryan has to be caught before he kills off the entire cast. He's so twisted, I think he would actually get off on Ava killing him. Which I hope she does. Is that too dark? While I don't like murder and mayhem in real life, I do find it strangely satisfying when a villain gets their comeuppance in fictional settings.
3) Next big plot twist: "Kevin" (Ryan) is struck blind mid-stabbing! When Ryan realized he didn't finish the job with Lulu and lunged toward her, he had a seizure and was struck blind the same way Anna was a week ago. But readers, explain this to me...All that stabbing and no blood on him? Wow. What surgical precision! When I floated this line to my husband, my husband noted that Ryan is an expert stabber and has learned the best angle to stab to avoid blood geysers. Readers, seriously...
When Ryan felt his way along the wall to get to the elevator, are we expected to believe he didn't have a single drop of blood on his hands, cuffs, or necktie, or that he'd even be able to see to wash off, since he was blind? At least he left a partial footprint. Thank heavens that Peter has size 12 feet, or he'd probably be getting hauled off to Pentonville right now.
Have you noticed that the PCPD rarely ever gets the right suspect? Seriously, they need to get Detective Lucky Spencer back from Ireland or bring Dante back from the WSB. Next -- Ryan's post-stabbing behavior... are we to believe Ryan stabbed Lulu, assumed she was dead, pocketed her license, and then just sat there, admiring his handiwork until she got up? Usually people leave after committing a crime.
4) In some good news, Jason and Sam reunited! But, only after a dramatic rescue where Sam had to dive into the blackness of the harbor waters and pull Jason out from the same spot where she lost him six years ago. I think this celebration requires some food from Noodle Buddha. Readers, don't hate me, okay? I really want to be more passionate about this, but after a year of waiting for it to happen, when Sam and Jason finally reunited with their steamy sex scene, I just kind of shrugged. The breathless anticipation I had when Jason originally returned has faded.
Am I glad they are back together? You betcha. But did it take my breath away? Nope. I love these two together. I think both Jason and Sam are too serious in general and when they both smile, it melts my heart. I loved Sam with Drew, too -- but as you know, I am in the corners for Drew and Kim, Jason and Sam, and Alexis and Julian. I know many of you disagree with me, but those are my viewing preferences.
I am hoping Drew will eventually use that flash drove of memories and we can see Kim and Drew's love story unfold in flashbacks. And if that doesn't work out, Drew and Margaux would be acceptable, too -- because, The Young and the Restless. Another fun twist: if Rick Hearst came back and hooked up with Kim, seeing Ric and former Carly, whom he chained in a panic room, together would be mind-blowing. But I digress. while I am glad Jason and Sam finally reunited, it took too long and left me feeling all..."meh."
5) Across town, Liz and Franco determine that Aiden likes baking and suspect he might be gay! I have mixed feelings on this storyline. If any of you disagree with my opinion, please feel free to say so. I am happy for this storyline, and I am glad they are bringing this topic to the forefront -- it's great to explore how a parent handles it when they discover their kid is gay. But is Aiden actually gay? So far, all we know is that the writers of GH think that a boy who likes to bake purple cupcakes is automatically gay... If the writers want Aiden to be gay, that's fine with me, but since he wasn't baking cupcakes at school, what led the kids to start calling him "Gayden"?
I think GH has a great opportunity to explore this topic and to model for parents what it looks like to accept a gay child, but I fear that the opposite will happen, and moms with boys who just happen to like to bake will discourage those boys from cooking. Are kids at school calling him Gayden because his name rhymes with it, or is there some indication that he is, in fact, gay? I haven't seen that yet. There are many male chefs who are both gay and straight in equal measure, so don't make that the only qualifier.
I am glad Liz brought up her research and noted that there are still states where you can be fired for being gay. I live in California, a land of gender-neutral restrooms; legal weed; and every race, culture, and gender you can think of, so I forget sometimes that the rest of the country isn't in the same space. Looking forward to watching this unfold and to seeing how GH handles such a sensitive topic.
6) Robert is back in town and looking especially dapper. I am a big fan of Tristan Rogers and am always happy to see him in Port Charles. I hope he stays for more than a day. He brought some interesting news...it seems Kevin Collins might have done a little dabbling in the WSB. Who knew? I'm intrigued to find out how things unfold. Is an old archenemy of Kevin going to accidentally kill Ryan? I hope not, because I want Ava to be the one to make him pay for killing Kiki.
Man, after it comes out that she was sleeping with a serial killer, Sonny is never going to let Ava have a playdate with Avery again. Back to Robert. Anna is with Finn right now, but we got a tease that Hayden wants to talk to Finn -- and we know she has Finn's baby. How will it impact Anna and Finn's relationship when that news comes out? I can't imagine Finn not diving into Daddy mode and introducing his baby to Roxie.
7) Back in the day, it was Robin and Rory playing in the catacombs. Now, Oscar and Josslyn were stuck in the catacombs, and to add to the drama, Oscar had a seizure, and Joss fell off a ladder, trying to go for help. Don't these kids want to go to Disneyland for their fun adventure? Why choose something so weird and dangerous? Yeah, yeah -- Lucy's book -- but I think we all know that whole episode was to whet our whistle to buy said book. I already own a GH encyclopedia (really), and my assumption is it's just the same book updated.
8) Readers, is it just me, or do you think Alexis might be crushing just a little on cult leader Shiloh? She patiently listened to his story, acknowledged how happy Kristina was living in his creepy cult house, and said she was giving him the benefit of the doubt. But then I think I saw a little gleam in her eye. Am I wrong, or did you see it, too? Kristina always picks the wrong person to be in a relationship with, and she got that from her Mama, so it would be hilarious to me if both Alexis and Kristina were hot for the cult leader.
9) Maxie dropped by Nathan's grave to ask Ghost Nathan for permission to move on. She still loves Nathan and will always love Nathan, but he's gone, and Peter is so charming and handsome and...alive. As much as I miss Ryan Paevey, I do think it's time for Maxie to find love again. I really love her and Peter together.
10) And, the saddest of our top ten: Mike's mental health is in decline, and Carly and Sonny discuss if it's time to put him in full-time care. This storyline on Alzheimer's has been poignant and powerful since day one. I am rooting for Max Gail and Maurice Benard to be recognized for their beautiful work on this story the past year. I hope that, even if Mike goes into full-time care, we don't end the story there and forget about Mike. I want to see his family visit him and continue this until he dies. I know there are sub stories about Croton and Mike's girlfriend at the day care center and Aunt Stella and her long-lost love -- frankly I don't care about any of that. I just want the writers to see Mike's story through.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? What will next week's top ten be? Will Willow kidnap Wiley and force Brad to admit her baby died? Will Laura and Valentin become reluctant friends for Charlotte's sake? Will Cameron get Aiden to bake weed brownies for Oscar? Will Lucy realize Doc is a crock? Will Ryan lose his lunchbox of driver's licenses when he goes blind again? Will Lucy try to sell her book to me?
Will Jason and Sam remarry for Valentine's Day? Will Oscar live until Valentine's Day? Will Ava and Griffin reunite after Ryan is dead and they are both lost, lonely, and broken? Will Dante come home now, since he left to protect his family and that didn't work? Will Sonny cough up a guard for his daughter-in-law and put Max and Milo on the door? (Seriously, why is no one guarding the door of an intended murder victim with the killer still on the loose??) Who will write about Port Charles gossip while Lulu is laid up?
Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.