"Never go to bed angry": Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo share the secrets behind four decades of marriage

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo, the longtime rock duo and real-life couple, shared insights into their lasting relationship while attending the 50th Anniversary Chapin Awards Gala for WhyHunger.

The couple, together for over 40 years and married since 1982, offered a candid and light-hearted look into how they’ve made their marriage work through decades of life and music.

When asked about their “marriage rule,” Giraldo joked:

“What, you're always right? Yeah, that used to be a thing, but we don't do that anymore.”

To which Benatar responded:

“But it worked for so long.”

The two first met in 1979 and have been partners in both music and life since. Giraldo has served as Benatar’s lead guitarist since the early days of her career. Together, they’ve raised two daughters — Haley, 40, and Hana, 31 — and are now grandparents to Stevie, Lola, and Cash.

Benatar shared one of the couple’s most important relationship rules:

“We never go to bed angry.”

Giraldo added:

“Right, but here's the thing, too. We've learned how to be quiet and still be in the same room together and not have to talk to one another, and that's good.”

Since they spend nearly all their time together, both professionally and personally, Benatar said they’ve found ways to give each other space even when sharing it:

“We’re together 24/7, and we know how to give each other space in the same space.”

Giraldo added with a grin:

“Other than that, I have no idea. I mean, we'll make stuff up if we want.”

Their partnership has produced four Grammy Awards and over 36 million albums sold. In 2022, they were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

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Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo hit the road — and the bookshelves, too

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo just wrapped a concert series and will soon join Bryan Adams’ Roll with the Punches Tour as special guests. They’re also venturing into publishing with a children’s book titled My Grandma and Grandpa Rock!, set to release later this year.

When it comes to touring, Benatar said the rhythm of travel feels natural:

“It's like breathing. Kind of pack the bags and go, you know?”

She added:

“We play so much, so it's not that we're just going to take a couple of months off, and it's just, like, a reset. We just do it again, that's all.”

READ: Bryan Adams kicks off new tour with Pat Benatar, reflects on Tina Turner's influence and life with rescue dog

Giraldo, meanwhile, admitted he isn’t a fan of rehearsals:

“I hate rehearsing. I really hate rehearsing. I just want to go out and play — whatever happens, happens in real time. Be in the moment. ... You know, be real.”

Benatar had a different take:

“I just want to rehearse for three months.”