“I want to apologize for all the hurt and pain I have caused”: Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs breaks silence in emotional note to judge before sentencing

Sean "Diddy" Combs addressed his alleged victim and former girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, through tears, hours before his sentencing.

The rapper and disgraced mogul's sentencing hearing is underway as of this writing, and according to USA Today, he penned a letter to U.S. District Court Judge Arun Subramanian on October 2, expressing remorse for his past behavior.

The rapper, 55, was convicted in July on two counts of transportation to engage in prostitution. He addressed his two ex-girlfriends, Cassie and "Jane," both of whom reportedly delivered harrowing testimonies during his previous two-month-long trial.

"I want to apologize and say how sincerely sorry I am for all of the hurt and pain that I have caused others by my conduct," Combs wrote, according to court documents obtained by USA TODAY. "I take full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs."

Diddy continued:

"This has been the hardest two years of my life, and I have no one to blame for my current reality and situation but myself. In my life, I have made many mistakes, but I am no longer running from them. … I understand that the mere words 'I'm sorry' will never be good enough as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past."

Diddy breaks his silence for the first time since his trial: Read more

Live updates from AP and CBS News state that the court is currently on a break, with both the defense attorneys and prosecution having addressed the judge. The former is pushing for a 14-month sentence, which is essentially the time Diddy already served, while the latter is rallying for at least 11 years and 3 months.

Diddy, who has been in custody at the Metropolitan Detention Centre in Brooklyn since he was arrested in September 2024, told the judge in his letter that he's had to look in the mirror like never before."

"The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind," he reportedly wrote, referring to a leaked surveillance video of him bludgeoning Cassie Ventura at a hotel in Los Angeles circa 2016. "I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always will be," Combs continued. "My domestic violence will always be a heavy burden that I will have to forever carry. … I honestly feel sorry for something that I couldn't forgive someone else for: if they put their hands on one of my daughters. This is why it is so hard for me to forgive myself. It is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar."

As for "Jane," his alleged victim who wishes to remain anonymous, he claimed he thought he was "providing for Jane concerning her and her child." The former, a single mother, was reportedly forced to engage in Combs' infamous freak-off parties, which were days-long, drug-fueled raves.

He also touted the time he spent in jail as a blessing.

"Jail is designed to break you mentally, physically and spiritually," Combs wrote. "Over the past year, there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. There have been some days I thought I would be better off dead. The old me died in jail, and a new version of me was reborn. Prison will change you or kill you — I choose to live."

According to the Daily Mail, the rapper also broke down in court as he reiterated his apology to Cassie. Diddy thanked the judge for 'allowing me the chance to finally speak for myself,' adding that the toughest part was 'not being able to express how sorry I am for my actions.'

'I want to personally apologize again to Cassie Ventura for any harm or hurt I've caused her emotionally or physically,' he said. 'I don't take that lightly.' Referring to the 2024 video of him beating her, he added: 'Domestic violence will always be a heavy burden I will forever have to carry,' he said. 'My actions were disgusting, shameful, and sick.' He also claimed he was 'sick from drugs' at the time and was 'out of control,' conceding that he was 'lost in excess... lost in my ego.'

In his speech, Diddy also begged the judge for leniency, adding that he just wants the 'chance to be a father again.'

'I don't want to let my family down, they need me,' he continued. 'They're scared, I'm scared. I know I'll never put my hands on another person again, I know I've learned my lesson... I'm willing to comply with any condition the court puts upon me.'

Following Diddy's defense attorney's address, his six children took to the stand to ask the judge to grant their father mercy, with both Diddy and his attorneys reportedly weeping through it all. D'Lila Combs, 18, reportedly told the court she and her siblings are

'scared of the thought of not having our dad and our mom present in our lives.' She added, 'We are scared for our two-year-old sister who runs to us every night asking us where daddy is and how much she missed him. We cannot watch our baby sister grow up fatherless the way way we had to grow up motherless. These are the years she will never get back. These are the memories she will never have.'

As of this writing, the presiding judge has yet to announce a sentence.

×

Was this article helpful?

Thank You for feedback