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The Simpsons villain Mr. Burns is a renowned billionaire who is vile, conceited, and uses darkly humorous language. His quotes are usually intertwined with sadism and hidden humor, making instances even more surprising and very funny. Whether this is in giving the benefit of using puppies in fashion or even in rationalizing lying, Mr. Burns always finds a way to stretch the moral fiber in the most ridiculous manner possible. These quotations from Mr. Burns demonstrate how satire, power, and ignorance may combine to make even the most heinous occurrences strange to witness.
Disclaimer: This article is solely the writer's opinion. Reader discretion is advised.
Here is the list of the 10 Mr. Burns quotes from The Simpsons that are so evil but also hilarious:
10. “I’m cutting off Springfield’s beer supply…extorting Homer.”
It is one of the most evil and hilarious Mr. Burns quotes from the late episode of Rosebud (Season 5, Episode 4), when Maggie declines to give up Bobo. Burns seizes control of every cable television channel and halts beer deliveries to stifle him, enabling him to bring the bear back. It is wicked in that he uses adored necessities in life, beer and television, as a weapon to self-interest. It is humorous because it turns everyday pleasures into objects of extortion.
The population feels powerless without these conveniences, and they continue to laugh at the idea that Burns is the one who makes the ridiculous ransom demand. This renders the scene both absurd and horrifying. The conflict between threats and satire is what makes this one of the finest Mr. Burns quotations.
9. “Now, a few more details... The picnic is cancelled.”
This Mr. Burns quote is from Season 2 (Episode 39) of The Simpsons, when there is a celebration of a company baseball game. Burns then cancels a picnic, as employees have gathered expecting one. The quote is evil because it lures people into a pleasurable break, only to dismiss it as inconsequential to their happiness.
On the other hand, the quote is hilarious due to his deadpan presentation and timing, and the expressions of the employees go from one heartbeat to deflation. Such a ridiculous juxtaposition of anticipation and coldness is a defining feature of plenty of Mr. Burns' quotes. Burns succeeds in ruining the mere euphoria, reminding the audience of how trivial the power can be when taken to extremes.
8. “Ironic, isn't it, Smithers? ... That's democracy for you!”
In "Two Cars in Every Garage" (Season 4), Mr. Burns said this dialogue during a political campaign. Burns regrets that he has lost, and he makes a joke that he would kill voters if it were not for democracy. This Mr. Burns quote is evil because he is careless about violence against common people. It's also darkly humorous since he directly challenges the premise of democracy. That platonic, unreal logic
“I can’t kill them, or I'd go to jail.”
reveals his maladjusted moral sense. Mr. Burns' quotes are effective because they rely on shock and a satirical approach to power. The evil/wise blend is too extreme to be taken seriously, echoing classic Mr. Burns lines.
7. “OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do…Oskar Schindler.”
In Rosebud (Season 5), Mr. Burns utters this statement while dominating Smithers and making reference to Spielberg's Schindler's List. He sees Spielberg as a sort of hero who must carry out his orders. Mr. Burns' quote is evil because it romanticizes the horror of the past for its benefit. It is impudent, which makes it funny. Buns dares to adapt holy moral stories into screenplays for his movies.
We are made to laugh out loud by this contrast—a parallel between the actual tragedy and corporate strategies. It is a push and pull of disrespect, cruelty, and comedy timing, and that is why it is one of the creepiest and unforgettable quotations of Mr. Burns.
6. “Look at you, standing... like a couple of Rory Calhouns.”
This quote is uttered in the episode Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (Season 6, Episode 20), toward the end. In one scene, Mr. Burns admires a puppy that stands on hind legs and comments about this animal's relation to an old actor, Rory Calhoun. This Mr. Burns' quote consists of odd nostalgia with a sinister purpose. He almost kills the puppies because of their skin, but he changes his mind when one of them does a weird trick. It is wicked since he almost arbitrates murder in the name of a fashion objective.
He uses a ludicrous and uninteresting celebrity contrast between violent planning, which makes it humorous. The ridiculous combination of physical violence and odd allusion is disturbing and funny at the same time. Viewers are simultaneously amused and horrified by Burns' song about fur and his reference to a puppy as a Rory Calhoun.
5. “Behold the Burns' atomic megabus... completely safe!”
This sequence is mentioned in the episode "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment." Just as Hans Moleman glows and pleads to die, Burns reveals his nuclear-powered megabus and declares it to be perfectly safe. Burns shows off his nuclear-powered megabus and says it's completely safe, just as Hans Moleman begins to glow and considers dying.
Its defense of safety, which results in radiation damage, qualifies it as one of Mr. Burns' quotes. It is wicked since he is putting innocent citizens at risk. It's funny because it's the exact opposite: a great way to get around the city that utterly blows up in the worst way. The bright suffering and abrupt cry of Moleman to be killed underlines the deadly end.
Burns even sounds haughty, which heightens the irony of the situation. Furthermore, his conceit and complete ignorance of the danger he posed are the reasons for the black humor.
4. “Ladies and gentlemen!…Eighth Wonder of the World!”
Another variation of the Two Dozen and One Greyhounds is the scene where Burns is mesmerized by the standing puppies. It is among the unforgettable Mr. Burns quotes when it comes to combining morbid intentions and a pleasant surprise at the heart. He designs savage fur coats to utilize the skin of a puppy and is touched by a mere prank. It is vile in its extreme inhumanity, but funny in that way that there is unexpected adorableness of dancing puppies.
Burns responds with an emotional shock and then recants about killing. It is absurdity on top of absurdity, involving mass slaughter, fashion, and other henchmen's antics that border on the dark comedic paradox. It depicts the odd manner in which innocence turns out to be the antidote to his evil. That conflict makes the scene comic but disturbing at the same time.
3. “I say, 'Cheating is the gift man gives himself.' …Excellent!”
This quotation can be found at the corporate retreat in Mountain of Madness (episode 12, season 8). Burns inspires the adoption of this malpractice by promising to win a race due to cheating, as it would be a gift to one. It belongs to the famous Mr. Burns quotes, as this quote helps us realize that he has perverse morals. He condones dishonesty and pillories cheating as patriotic or smart. It undermines fair play and exploits distrust, making it evil.
However, it is amusing since his justification for being frigid demonstrates that he is ridiculous: he analyzes the topic of cheating as if it is a noble thing to do. There is increased ridiculousness in his calm tone and his use of words (“gift man gives himself”).
2. “Family, religion, friendship…succeed in business.”
This quote by Mr. Burns is uttered in The Old Man and the Lisa ( Season 8, Episode 21 ) when lecturing his employees in the recycling plant. He plainly states that individual relationships and values get in the way of business success. It is wicked since he undermines both human relations and moral principles. He thinks of relationships and faith as ones to exploit or get rid of. However, its excesses and unpretentious coolness also make it humorous. His tone is deadpan, as if he's providing deadlines.
The audience is shocked by the contrast between his cruel wisdom and ordinary family and religious wisdom. Such is what makes it horrifying and comical. This phrase is one of the most memorable of the quotes of Mr. Burns in terms of parody of heartfelt ideas with comic corporate reasoning.
1. “Men, there's a little crippled boy…myself to inspire you.”
This Mr. Burns' quote appears in a pivotal halftime address during a football game in the Simpsons' Homer Loves Flanders episode. Burns says one of the hospitalised children would like the team to win, and then casually tells them he is the one who injured him. It is diabolical in the way that it transforms innocence and charity into tools for his own entertainment.
Still, it's funny how he brags, revealing his shortcomings. It's a mismatched type of humor, combining a heartfelt pep speech with a shocking confession. People laugh, yet the audience is simultaneously shocked by this casual delivery. This is one of the most memorable Mr. Burns quotes that combine menace with a comedic touch.
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These Mr. Burns quotes enabled us to see that comedy and evil could tie up together in a memorable fashion. Mr. Burns created laughs out of cruelty by using acute timing and ridiculous reasoning. Composed by jarringly contrasted lines that not only recalled how dark it got but how cleverly funny it was that even he could get up to the worst kind of things that he did.
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